Mother of four children. Early retirement for mothers of many children: at what age do they retire? Mothers of many children with 4 children

Not all stars strive to make a career while giving up family happiness. Many of today's celebrities become mothers, more than once, and are not afraid of losing their popularity. Today we would like to present to your attention 12 stars who bear the honorary title of mothers of many children.

Ekaterina Klimova, four children
Popular Russian actress Ekaterina Klimova is a proud mother of four children. The 38-year-old Russian film star has a daughter from her first husband Ilya Khoroshilov, two sons from actor Igor Petrenko and daughter Bella from her marriage to actor Gela Meskhi. Judging by Klimova’s words, after the birth of children, her career soared even more, and her figure mother of many children one can only envy.

Kris Jenner, six children
61-year-old Kris Jenner, the mother of the Kardashian family, has six children: 5 sultry beauties - daughters and a son. In her memoirs, she admitted that she dreamed of having six children, and that their names would begin with “K.” In the end, everything turned out that way. Of the star six, Kris's favorite daughter is, of course, Kim Kardashian. It was she who brought everyone worldwide popularity, fame and money. But Kris Jenner is proud of all her children, and now her grandchildren.

Maria Poroshina, 4 daughters
The 43-year-old Russian actress literally became a mother for the fourth time at the beginning of 2016. She gave birth to her eldest daughter Polina in a relationship with actor Gosha Kutsenko, and her younger daughters from actor and husband Ilya Drevnov. Interesting point: Poroshina calls her younger daughters by ancient Russian names: she has Serafima, Agrafena and Glafira.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, six children
Now they are no longer a couple, but still Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are raising six children together. Three of them: Maddox from Cambodia, Zahara from Ethiopia, Pax from Vietnam are adopted, and Shiloh and the twins Vivienne and Knox are natural children. Angelina and Brad always raised their children as equals, and in no case made any distinction between which children were theirs and which were not. Moreover, star mother Angelina Jolie even has a tattoo with the geographical coordinates of the places where her children were born.

Tori Spelling, four children and one baby on the way
Famous actress Tori Spelling, star of the TV series Beverly Hills 90210, is now pregnant and is about to become a mother for the fifth time. Together with her husband, producer Dean McDermott, she is raising four children: two boys and two girls. It is still unknown who will be born this time.

Maria Shukshina, four children
49-year-old Russian actress and TV presenter Maria Shukshina is also deservedly included in our list of mothers of many children. At the age of 38, already having two children, she gave birth to twins, twins Foma and Foku, from her third husband Boris Vishnyakov. The actress also has adult daughter Anya, who made Shukshina a grandmother, as well as her son Makar from her second husband.

Alsou, three children
The popular Russian singer Alsou became a mother for the third time in 2016. She gave birth to her long-awaited son Rafael. The 33-year-old artist has been married to businessman Yan Abramov for more than 10 years. They also have talented daughters Safina and Mikella growing up. The artist has not yet shown her son to the public.

Nicole Kidman, four children
The famous actress Nicole Kidman is also among the stars who raise adopted children. Together with Tom Cruise, she adopted a son and daughter, and in a new relationship with musician Keith Urban, with whom she has been together since 2006, they are raising two children. After experiencing several miscarriages, Nicole Kidman gave birth to a daughter, Sunday Rose, and her youngest, Faith, was given birth to a surrogate mother. According to rumors, the actress has now turned to the services of a surrogate mother again.

David and Victoria Beckham, four children
This stylish couple is always the center of everyone's attention. Victoria and David Beckham have been together since 1999, and no matter how often they get divorced, they are still together and have four children: sons Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and daughter Harper. For many, this couple is a role model.

Jasmine, three children
The famous Russian singer Jasmine is raising three children. Her eldest son is already quite an adult: he is 19 years old. From her second marriage to Ilan Shor, the performer gave birth to a daughter, Margarita, and a son, Miron, who was born this summer.

Heidi Klum, four children
The famous model Heidi Klum is also in the ranking of mothers with many children: she has four children. She broke up with the father of her eldest daughter, Helen, before she found out about the pregnancy. At that time, she began dating musician Sil, and he became the girl’s father. Their marriage to Seal had three children: Henry, Johan and Lou Sulola. Unfortunately, the couple is no longer together.

Natalia Vodianova, five children
The famous Russian supermodel with a worldwide reputation, Natalia Vodianova, at 34 years old, is raising five children! In her marriage to the English lord Justin Portman, she gave birth to three sons: Lucas and Victor, and a daughter, Neva. The model is currently in a relationship with French millionaire Antoine Arnault. Together they are raising a son, Maxim, and a six-month-old son, Roman. As you can see, the girls in this big family in the minority, so we won't be surprised if we find out that Natalia Vodianova wants to become a mother again.

This is Natalya Moskvitina today - beautiful woman and a mother of four who finds the right words every day to convince women not to commit the sin of infanticide. And once they tried to convince her three times of the need to commit sin. It feels like everything in Natasha’s life is happening despite all medical diagnoses. For example, she became pregnant immediately after the final verdict of infertility. At first, the doctors were surprised for a long time and even, perhaps, were happy for Natasha, but then, at 6 weeks, they advised her to “interrupt” miraculously resulting pregnancy. The main reason was that the fetal heartbeat was not audible, but expectant mother experienced severe pain lower abdomen. “Most likely, the fetus is not developing, and there is no point in fighting for this pregnancy,” the doctor from the antenatal clinic said indifferently and sat down to write out a referral for “cleaning.” Natasha refused to believe in the bad: her heart told her that the child was alive. But Natasha refused to believe in the bad: her heart told her that her child was alive. All day she sat outside the gynecology office, demanding that she be put into storage. Only in the evening the doctor gave in to her demands, and the pregnant woman was admitted to a paid ward. She spent the whole night, without sleeping a wink, in prayer for her child. Morning came and another doctor came into her room to examine her. With a kind smile, looking around dark circles under his eyes and clutching a prayer book to his chest, he squeezed her hand and said what she most wanted to hear: “Don’t worry! We will definitely save your child." Natasha was taken for an ultrasound, where she was relieved to learn that her baby was alive and his life was not in danger. “I will never be able to forget my feelings in these moments. That night in the hospital, full of fears and expectations, was like hell,” Natasha recalls, “but then, with the arrival of a new day and this doctor, heaven came into my life.” This is how an absolutely healthy Polina was born. During her second pregnancy, doctors again tried to persuade the woman to have an abortion. This time the reason was a suspected diagnosis of Down syndrome. As a result of this struggle, absolutely healthy Peter was born. 5 months after his birth, Natalya became pregnant again. And then the doctors once again, like kites, pounced on her, forcing her to commit infanticide. A variety of arguments were given. At first she was recommended to “rest after the second birth,” then they frightened her with lack of money and poverty, asking about her husband’s salary. But the final and decisive argument was the fact that Natasha took antibiotics in the first month of pregnancy: “Abortion is the only option for you! Without a doubt, a child, even if born, will have a developmental pathology. Maybe without an arm or a leg... Why do you need this? Indeed, after the second birth, she caught a severe cold, and she was prescribed a course of the most gentle medications. “I cried and prayed without getting up from my knees. The hardest thing was to realize that I myself had harmed my child... But I had to continue the fight, no matter what,” Natasha recalls. - My husband, oddly enough, distanced himself from me at that moment, and this made it doubly scary. It was probably then that I most realized how a lost woman feels, having lost hope and the support of loved ones.” However, contrary to all forecasts, a control ultrasound at 12 weeks did not reveal any fetal pathologies. So another one was born healthy child. Since then, Natalya has been trying to go to doctors as little as possible. During her fourth pregnancy, she deliberately refused to undergo screening: “I only gave blood and urine. That’s all I needed to monitor the condition of my child, and for the rest I relied on the Lord.” “The Lord gives children, and He decides what my child will be like,” Moskvitina smiles, joyfully hugging her four children to herself. Orthodoxy ru

The state provides a large number of benefits to citizens who are in a difficult social situation. First of all, this applies to mothers of many children. The issue of pensions for such citizens is also touched upon.

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General provisions

At the state level, the need to pay certain amounts of money when a citizen reaches a certain age has been established.

Moreover, this also applies in some cases to non-working citizens. One of the most exciting issues is the pension of a mother with 4 children without.

It is possible to avoid all sorts of complications by first familiarizing yourself with legislative acts, as well as other issues.

This primarily concerns the following issues:

What it is?
Who does it apply to?
Where should I go?

What it is

It must be remembered that the term “mother of many children” means raising three or more children at the same time.

In this case, they must also be taken into account. Since legally they are equated directly to their own children.

At the same time, the following are not taken into account:

children under;
children under

The term “mother of many children” itself is not given any definition in the law. At the same time, it may mean a different number of children, depending on the region.

For example, in the city of Moscow and the region, a mother of many children is understood as a woman raising 3 or more children.

At the same time, in some individual regions, mothers with two children are also considered to have many children.

The pension itself for a mother of many children may be assigned earlier if:

In this case, slightly different deadlines for assigning a pension are established. At the same time, it is not necessary to have a working or insurance period when funds are transferred to special funds.

This moment reflected in federal legislation. At the same time, there is regional legislation - its provisions may differ for the better from those outlined in the federal one.

At the same time, federal provisions must be complied with.

Who does it apply to?

The standard pension itself is paid only to citizens who have reached a certain age - 55 years.

In certain regions, additional points are awarded for successfully raising a child up to a certain age. And the greater the number of children, the more points are awarded.

Currently, points are awarded as follows:

Often both parents care for children at once. In this case, the discrepancy in length of service may be taken into account when calculating the pension.

In this case, such accounting is carried out as follows:

The process of calculating points in both cases is carried out the same way. Currently in Rostov region and some others, it is possible to take into account caring for only 4 children in the pension period.

At the same time, previously things were different - it was possible to take into account the experience of caring for 2 and 3 children. Thus, 6 years of experience in child care is taken into account. In addition, at least 9 years of official experience is required.

If the above conditions are met (6 and 9 years of service), you will have the right to retire at 50 years of age.

In this case, the registration process itself is carried out in a standard way. All you need to do is collect full list everyone necessary documents.

In addition to sufficient length of service, citizenship of the Russian Federation is required. Since pension payments are intended specifically for citizens of the Russian Federation. In some cases, exceptions are allowed.

This applies to citizens of Belarus and some other former Soviet republics. This point is also reflected in federal legislation. If possible, be sure to familiarize yourself with it in advance.

An important point is that if a mother with many children retired at the age of 50, but her children have not reached the age of 18 (23 years if full-time), then the size of the insurance part of the pension will increase due to the establishment of a fixed payment.

Moreover, it is established at an increased rate for each dependent individual. It is necessary to remember this fact.

If possible, you should independently study the procedure for calculating the amount of pensions for a mother of many children. This will avoid many different troubles in the future.

Most important point are all precisely the process of accounting for experience. In some individual regions, the procedure for calculating it may differ significantly.

Where to go

To apply for a pension of this type, you will need to visit a fairly large number of different institutions.

Directly to submit all the necessary documents you will need to contact the regional office of the Pension Fund of the Russian Federation at your location.

In some individual cases, it is possible to apply not at the place of registration, but at the place of residence. The list of situations when this is allowed is reflected in the legislation.

Before receiving a pension, you will need to visit a fairly large number of different institutions to collect the required number of documents.

This primarily concerns the following:

Today, the list of documents required to receive a pension in the case under consideration is closed.

That is why the regional branch of the Pension Fund of the Russian Federation does not have the right to demand the provision of any other documents.

If there is a violation of current legislation, the future pensioner has the right to protect her rights legally.

To do this, you must contact the following authorities:

If the violation is obvious and beyond doubt, then it will be possible to submit a written statement about this to the head of the branch of the regional Pension Fund of the Russian Federation.

And only if such an action does not have any result, it will be necessary to contact higher authorities.

Pension for mothers with four children

Pension for mothers of many children is one of the most pressing issues today. Legislative norms give a very definite answer to the question of when a pension of this type is calculated.

It is necessary to remember a large number of different nuances associated with this kind calculations. First of all, this concerns legislative reform. It is carried out almost every year.

That is why it is necessary to carefully monitor all current changes. This will avoid large quantity the most different problems, difficulties.

Issues that should be considered in advance include the following:

The necessary conditions.
How much is it charged?
Registration procedure.
Payment process.

The necessary conditions

There is a list mandatory conditions, the fulfillment of which is necessary to receive a pension of the type in question.

Such conditions include the following:

The points outlined above are fundamental. It is important to remember that there are circumstances in which the assignment of a pension of the type in question becomes simply impossible.

This primarily applies to the following situations:

child under 8 years of age;
if the mother had her parental rights;
if the child is fully state provision.

If a mother is deprived of her rights to a child by a court decision, she is deprived of the right to receive a preferential pension.

But if rights are restored accordingly, in accordance with the procedure established by law, the calculation of a pension becomes possible.

If the mother was not deprived of her rights, but the child is fully supported by the state, the length of service will also not be accrued. Since in fact the mother does not spend resources on receiving money.

A mandatory factor is the child's survival to the age of 8 years. In this case, and if the total number of children is 5 or more, the mother may retire early.

There is also a list of other conditions, the fulfillment of which is also strictly necessary.

The procedure for calculating length of service has a large number of most different features and nuances. All of them are reflected in federal, local and regional legislation.

It is important to remember that it does not matter whether from the same or from different husbands there were children when calculating a pension for a mother with many children.

At the same time, when raising a stepson/daughter, a man will need to carry out adoption official way. Otherwise, various kinds of difficulties will arise.

At the same time, the separation of mother and child is not yet a basis for refusal to grant a pension of the type in question. But again, you should remember some significant nuances.

How much is charged?

The formula itself for calculating a pension of the type in question has a standard form.

The calculation formula is as follows:

SP = IPC × SIPC + FV

In 2019, the cost of one pension point is 74.27 rubles. At the state level, indexation is carried out annually. That is why it is important to monitor all updates to current legislation.

Value set minimum pension the type in question. The minimum pension has been established at the state level. It is 4,558 rubles for 2019. This amount is also continuously indexed.

The size of the insurance part of the pension in 2019 is indexed according to the following formula:

SP = IPK × 74.27 + 4,558.93

When recalculating, points for all years without exception are taken into account. Today, it is quite problematic to carry out calculations on your own.

That is why it is worth contacting the regional branch of the Pension Fund of the Russian Federation in advance with all the data.

Its employees will definitely help you with calculating your pension, as well as all the necessary information on calculating the values. There are a large number of features associated with the calculation.

The fact of a later application for payment of the type in question has a significant impact.

For each missed year, special coefficients are established:

All the coefficients indicated above may vary depending on a large number of different factors. The range of fluctuations is from 1.01 to 2.32. Fixed payment can also be increased.

Registration procedure

The procedure for obtaining a pension of this type consists of two main stages:

Collection of all documents necessary in this case.
Submitting them to the regional branch of the Pension Fund of the Russian Federation.
Assignment and calculation of pensions.

Close attention should be paid to the list of required documents. Since if there is a shortage, the Pension Fund has the right, on completely legal grounds, to simply refuse accrual.

The list of mandatory items includes the following:

The above list is standard.

If a mother of many children receives accruals, in addition to those indicated above, it will be necessary to submit the following documents:

Most of them were unemployed for a significant part of their lives because they were on maternity leave. In this case, Russian legislation meets mothers of many children halfway, and includes four and a half years of insurance experience from maternity leave. Further, it all depends on the age at which the woman returned to labor activity. Benefits for mothers of many children How to get labor pension While a woman is on maternity leave, the employer at her main place of work does not make contributions to the pension fund of the Russian Federation. Upon returning from maternity leave, a woman must spend at least another 10 and a half years in the workplace with official employment. Every year the number of required insurance points to receive social benefits increases. The total accumulated points are ultimately multiplied by their value.

Peculiarities of calculating pensions for mothers with many children

It indicates earnings for any 2 months following each other, until January 1, 2002.

Marriage certificate.

What's next? And then we wait while PF specialists create a layout of your future “payment case”, check the accuracy of all the information in the documents and the legality of their execution, and also ask (if necessary) questions to your employers. After the work done, the size of the maximum pension should be established, corresponding to your number of children and work activity.
Planned changes in legislation...

Features of registration of pensions for mothers of many children in 2018

To assign an old-age insurance pension, the following documents are required:

application for a pension;
documents identifying the citizen, as well as confirming his age and citizenship;
insurance certificate of compulsory pension insurance
documents confirming periods of work and (or) other activities and other periods included (counted) in the insurance period;
documents on the individual pension coefficient;
documents on raising a child (children) until he (they) reach the age of 8 years (the birth of a child is confirmed by his birth certificate, a birth certificate issued by the civil registry office, raising a child up to the age of eight - documents issued by housing maintenance organizations or local government bodies, and other documents).

For reference.

What is the pension for a mother of 4 children?

Info

How is the northern pension calculated in 2017? The size of the pension of a mother with many children - how much will she receive? In this context, a benefit means early retirement. But, alas, the status of having many children does not in any way affect the size of the pension.

There are no bonuses for status. The length of service and the amount of pension are calculated on a general basis, in accordance with the Law. What do you need to know about calculations?
The size of pension points depends on the employer’s contributions to the Pension Fund and on the level of the mother’s salary.

That is, the more points earned, the higher the pension will be. And, accordingly, no official earnings - no points.
Points for child care count regardless of whether the mother works or whether contributions to the Pension Fund have been paid.

And here the picture is this: the more children, the more points (see.

At what age do mothers with 3 children retire?

The amount of pension benefits for an elderly person will depend on how long he has officially worked. Please note that while a woman is on maternity leave, she receives various benefits from the state. social assistance, including benefits.

However, this does not mean that additional benefits will be accrued upon retirement. Seniority Early retirement - who applies? Only women who have raised more than five children can apply for early retirement.

Elderly persons who are mothers of many children with minor dependents or children under 23 years of age (they must be studying full-time at a university) can apply for an increased fixed portion of their pension.

Early pension for parents with many children

Pension for large families: 3 children A woman with two or more children has the right to retire early if she has the appropriate length of service (calendar calculation is used) in the Far North. There is no requirement to raise children under 8 years of age. The pension fund will require documents confirming work in the Far North (or equivalent regions) and its duration, as well as birth certificates of children or relevant adoption documents.

Amount of pension A benefit for a mother of many children is only early retirement, and having many children does not affect the size of the pension in any way. Length of service and pension coefficient for women with many children are determined on a general basis.

The amount of the pension depends on salary and insurance experience, and the experience includes one and a half years of leave to care for each child, but not more than six years in total.

At what age can a mother of four children retire?

Attention

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Work experience for people with many children - how to calculate
How to get a labor pension
Early retirement - who applies?

Mothers of many children, like any other categories of citizens, upon reaching retirement age may qualify for social benefits. They should be no less living wage, which is established at the legislative level in the Russian Federation.

The procedure for assigning pensions has been determined at the federal level. About pensions for mothers of many children Work experience for mothers with many children - how to calculate The pension of a mother of many children with 3 children depends on a number of factors.

According to pension reform, the amount of payments upon reaching retirement age will depend on the accumulated points. This pension calculation system is applicable to all categories of citizens, regardless of the number of children.

Pension provision for mothers of many children

And…

Each year of caring for a disabled child = 1.8 points.
Caring for a relative over 80 years old = 1.8 points.

With whom and where the children lived does not matter (oddly enough). Living separately from her mother is not an obstacle to her early retirement. Exception: mothers deprived of birth/rights. If the mother’s rights were deprived, then this baby will not affect the size and period of receiving the pension in any way.
They also do not take into account the husband’s children who were not adopted by the mother applying for preferential pension. If the “large family” is not properly formalized, then there is nothing to count on.
Children who died/died before they turned 8 years old will not be taken into account in the Pension Fund.

Early retirement for a mother of many children in 2018-2019

Documents for assigning a pension to mothers of many children

The main pension benefit for women with many children who have given birth to children is the opportunity to retire early in old age before the generally established retirement age. By general rule insurance pension old age insurance is assigned and paid to insured persons under the following conditions:

reaching the age of 60 years for men, 55 years for women (except for civil servants.
For them, the retirement age is set to 65 years for men and 63 years for women).
availability of insurance experience (an annual increase to 15 years by 2024 is provided);
the value of pension points (IPC) (provided for an annual increase to 30 points by 2025).

Read more about the conditions for assigning insurance pensions in the article at the link. Attention.
Early retirement period for mother and father A mother of many children retires upon reaching 50 years of age if:

a woman has raised five or more children under the age of eight, and her insurance experience is at least 15 years;
a woman has raised two or more children, has an insurance record of at least 20 years, and has worked for at least 12 calendar years in the territory of the Far North (or at least 17 calendar years in an area equivalent to the Far North).

For fathers with many children, early retirement is not provided; they have the right to receive a pension only after reaching 60 years of age - the generally established retirement age, even if they independently raised five or more children.

At what age does a mother of 4 children retire? news

Government and increased according to PF income.

B is the number of pension points accumulated by the future pensioner (note - depends on salary, length of service, child care).
C is the cost of the pension, annually indexed coefficient (point), equal to 74.27 rubles in 2016.
D is (if available) accumulative part mother's pension. It is formed based on the wishes of the future pensioner, or only the insurance part is left.

Pension points

How I became more confident in myself and stopped giving advice.

Only now, when I have four children, have I learned to calmly react to the bold statements of other parents: that their children would never allow themselves something “like that,” that their children were never treated with antibiotics, that their children are already drawing at the age of two little men, and at eight they can do twenty push-ups. I calmly answer: “75% of my children would never allow themselves to do this either, 50% of my children have never been treated with antibiotics, 25% of my children learned to draw little people at the age of two, and half can calmly do push-ups not even twenty, but twenty-five times.” .

Boy Sasha

Ten years ago, when I was a young mother of one boy, Sasha, it seemed to me that I knew everything about child upbringing. Namely, that my child is an example of a complete parental pedagogical failure, and my maternal career, having barely begun, came to an inglorious end.

Sashenka grew up uncontrollable, violent and high school showed no artistic inclinations or talents. At all. I did everything I could to develop his intellect from the cradle - I knew the methods of Montessori, Zaitsev, Doman, Nikitin by heart, bought magazines with articles about child psychology, sewed toys for the baby in the form of rag letters stuffed with buckwheat, played classical music and showed albums with paintings from the Renaissance. But, not yet learning to stand on his feet, my first-born turned into a tyrant, terrorizing the whole family with his yelling and uncompromisingness.
It was impossible to go anywhere with him - two attempts to visit a coffee shop and restaurant ended in failure, uneaten food and puzzled, irritated looks from other visitors. Because Sasha, a smart one-and-a-half-year-old boy, was simply screaming. He yelled at guests, yelled at everyone crowded places, he yelled and did not obey everywhere we went.

At home he disabled everything household appliances, as far as he could reach, and even unscrewed the office chair! Over the course of a year and a half, having somehow gotten the hang of handling it, I became imbued with skepticism towards many methods for developing children's intelligence. I firmly decided that they were invented: a) for girls; b) for worthy parents, and not for wimps like me.
When I was the mother of only one boy, Sasha, it seemed to me that I knew about children's health All. Sasha, who is now eleven, is not sick. Never. At all. As soon as the baby’s belly button had healed, I began to lay him out, naked, in only a vest, on a blanket spread right on the floor. The baby grew and developed without hats and socks, received unlimited amounts of breast milk, slept with his parents until he was two years old, and was taken to the sea, to a tent camp with sand and “unsanitary conditions,” from the age of six months. His diapers were never ironed and his dishes were never sterilized. Therefore, when mothers I knew complained that their children were sick, I had my own strong opinion on this matter: it was their own fault. There was no need to bundle up. And breastfeed for at least a year and a half.

Girl Katya

And then my girl Katya was born. If Katya had turned out to be my first and only child, then I would definitely join those mothers who, standing on the sidelines with their neat, obedient baby and watching someone else’s ugly hysterics, would say: “My girl would never allow herself to do this! ", and would give myself an honest fat plus.
Katya was one of those babies about whom parents who are perplexed by other people’s troubles write: “Why are you sour, you need to unwind! Feel free to take your child with you in your backpack and go for a walk, go to an exhibition, go to the cinema, go on a visit - don’t isolate yourself within four walls and don’t be afraid to carry your child with you!” From the very first days, Katya slept in her own separate crib, in another room (something unthinkable in the context of the baby Sasha) and could lie there for hours, looking at the toys hanging along the side, while her older brother and I happily studied on the carpet nearby.

Sibling rivalry? I didn’t know such words; my maternal self-esteem was growing rapidly. During the first two months of Katina, we traveled all over the Kyiv and partly Chernigov regions. We stopped at roadside cafes without any problems, I even took Katya with me to the institute and the library!

But at three months something terrible happened. Not only did my daughter have a fever, she started coughing! I was sure that this did not happen, that it was not from my reality - to give the child some medicines, to take him to the doctor... It seemed to me that I just needed less panic, more breast milk, carry it in your arms - and everything will pass. This is exactly what I, without a shadow of a doubt, advised other mothers whose children were sick. I was sure that it was not the children who were sick, but their mothers who had nothing to do.

But for some reason the cough did not go away. The doctor who prescribed us antibiotics a week ago (anti-bi-o-ti-ki? Never in my life!) said firmly, so that even I listened: “You need to go to the hospital. Immediately. The girl could develop pneumonia at any moment.” We spent two weeks in the hospital, receiving injections and all kinds of treatment. I became more careful.
My daughter gets sick on average once every three months - any virus flying through the air seems to be seduced by the meek helplessness of this gentle, fragile blond girl, and Katyusha gets sick. And how sick he gets! If the temperature rises, then it should not be lower than thirty-nine! And we are guaranteed at least two weeks of staying at home.

At the age of five, when her brother was swimming and running around barefoot in the hot May, Katyusha managed to catch bilateral pneumonia. At seven, also in the summer, I got a severe sore throat. At eight - two pyelonephritis in a row. Thanks to Katyusha, I learned to “read” blood and urine tests, learned how to give antipyretic injections and dilute antibiotic powder for injection. We are well known in at least three hospitals in the city. Why? What did I do wrong? I never received an answer to this question.

Two different baby

And here in front of me were two completely different children. Born from the same parents, eating the same food, living in the same room - and amazingly, unimaginably different! Unthinkable, impossible things for Sasha - his sister does with ease, as if no one had taught her this. At the same time, Sasha’s composure, methodicality, and responsibility are alien to Katyusha, “flying in the clouds.”

Our eldest girl hardly went to kindergarten and could sit for hours putting together puzzles (Sasha, until a certain age, ate these puzzles) and drew amazing pictures. I listened to books that I could read to her from morning to evening. It was as if she had learned to read and write on her own, without anyone’s help. But Sasha’s first six months at school were a severe test! My first-born was released from kindergarten with a recommendation for “individual education,” and, frankly, at seven years old, he was completely unprepared for school.

By inertia, for several years I continued to consider myself a failure as a mother and made every excuse to the teacher, but in the fifth grade it turned out that Sasha was doing very well in mathematics. Moreover, he began reading thick novels from the "Library of Adventures" and children's classics, as well as drawing tricky engineering drawings and topographic maps.

I really wanted to send my son to some kind of circle, but he didn’t fit in anywhere until we got to karate. Over the course of four years, Sasha achieved considerable success, earning a “blue” belt and six-pack abs. The son grew up, became more respectable and became a real support in the family - responsible, collected, able to wash the dishes, prepare a delicious breakfast for everyone, change a car tire and do a lot of other useful things. And, most importantly, he is very kind and sympathetic.

More children

When Sasha was in first grade, I gave birth to Euphrosyne and Nikita. From the first quick glance at this couple, it became clear who was who. Different as day and night, they not only didn’t look like brother and sister, but actually like close relatives! Blond, blue-eyed, with a button nose, Efrosisha turned out to be the complete antipode of her character older sister(gentle, easily hurt, quiet) and much calmer than Sasha at a similar age.
If Sasha “took his toll” by yelling, then Euphrosyne comes up with more sophisticated and artistic methods. She is lively, confident and very mischievous. She is one of all four of my children who, when remarked in a stern voice, will look intently into the eyes and ask: “What is it, Mom?” Looking at Euphrosyne, I very often want to exclaim: “My daughter would never allow herself to do this!” At the same time, when Euphrosyne begins to draw, everyone is breathtaking at how confident the strokes and lines turn out from under her tiny chubby fingers!

Her half-brother Nikita, born seven minutes later, is brown-eyed (the only one of the four), high cheekbones, quiet, stubborn and touchy. Looking at this couple, you realize that you see like two halves of a whole, complementing each other. Nikita, when he was just born, looked like the tiny character Vitsin from “Operation Y”. A quiet melancholic person, prone to not entirely legal actions. Nikita prefers to be “led” by her sister and stands by her like a mountain.

At the water park, during a birthday celebration, they managed to drag four-year-old Euphrosyne onto an adult “pipe,” which she not only wasn’t afraid of, but reacted with reserved serious approval, saying that “it’s not scary and it’s good.” Nikita, equipped with an inflatable ring with harnesses, barely mastered a tiny children's slide one and a half meters high and flatly refused to explore more serious entertainment.

When the gang of young robbers turned two years old, I decided to send them to kindergarten. For many years I was an ardent opponent of all kinds preschool institutions. The eldest son went there for about a year and a half and suffered greatly. But the circumstances of my life and work then developed in such a way that there were no other options left. My daughter walked for about a year and suffered even more. Kindergarten is probably the worst thing (except for hospitals, of course) that has happened in her life.

Sasha and Katya were little interested in children's matinees, group activities, round dances and life in society. Of course, after a couple of weeks, having gotten used to it, they stopped crying in the locker room in the morning, but I continued to cry - from the realization that my children did not belong there. “Maximum six years. IN preparatory group“- I thought before, “not understanding” the parents who praise these kindergartens.

And suddenly - shock. The little boogers have barely turned two, they have just learned to go to the potty and still don’t know how to dress themselves - and I take them to kindergarten. My eldest daughter sat next to me for several years before school: quietly, like a mouse, drawing something and cutting out pictures.
But it turned out that in nature there are also children for whom the garden is directly shown. Poorly managed, active, bored at home, ready for teamwork, Efrosisha and Nikita rushed towards the children playing on the playground, fussed with them, terrorized their parents and brother and sister, and I simply had no choice. By this point, I realized that as a mother, I understand absolutely nothing about children and motherhood.

conclusions

I once believed that in order for a child not to get sick, you just need to toughen him up and not give him antibiotics “at the first sneeze.” It worked for exactly half of my kids!

Once upon a time (albeit for a short time) I believed that tantrums on the street, yelling and terrible behavior depended on parental education. Indeed, I was able to raise one whole child who never screamed either on the street or at home!

I once believed that a strict daily routine and feeding were relics of the past, but experience with twins showed that if we don’t have a routine, then these children will not have a mother. Exactly at nine in the evening the house lights up, and at seven in the morning it gets up. And a few years ago, everyone went to bed when they wanted, and woke up when they could. This arrangement seemed progressive and “ecological” to me.

I once believed that every child has talent and it manifests itself in early age, it all depends on parental persistence. In fact, it turned out that everything is very individual, and parental persistence should manifest itself primarily in the development in the child of the feeling that he is unconditionally loved, no matter what he is.

I sincerely did not understand and was even offended by those acquaintances who asked why I didn’t send Katyusha to kindergarten. Now I understand that, despite solid experience, I absolutely cannot advise anyone on anything. All children are different and, it turns out, only the mother knows for sure what her child really needs and how to “correctly” treat and raise him. Perhaps this is the only advice that I can give without doubt that I am right.