Games for developing communication skills in older preschool children. Agreeableness is a quality useful for communication

Formation of friendly relationships among preschoolers.

Kindness is one of the main features of harmonious relationships with people. When people treat each other kindly, behavior will never be aggressive.

Friendliness is:

A friendly disposition, a friendly attitude towards someone.

It is the ability to see and respect the personality in another person.

This is a willingness to trust others.

This is the ability to live in harmony with people of different views and beliefs.

This is the desire and ability to find mutual understanding with others.

Unfortunately, the growth of aggressive tendencies reflects one of the most acute social problems of our society. School teachers note that aggressive children every year they become larger and more difficult to work with. Often, teachers and parents simply do not know how to cope with aggressive behavior, since traditional methods of influence do not contribute to lasting behavior change. All parents whose children are in school know how difficult and complex the process of entering school life is. And only in kindergarten do they prepare children for successful learning At school.Of particular importance in the formation of the personality of preschoolers are relationships that are built on the basis of goodwill. Therefore, one of the goals preschool education in working with children is the formation of friendly relationships.

The establishment of friendly relationships is facilitated by children’s ability to communicate and talk kindly to each other.

The basis of humanerelationships with people - the ability to empathize, to sympathy - manifests itself in a variety of life situations. I believe that children need form not only communication skills, but above all moral feelings. Only in this case can a child be taught to accept and perceive other people’s difficulties and joys as their own. In raising preschoolers, it is necessary to lead the child to know himself and learn to compare himself with others. That is why teachers teach children to talk about their own experiences, compare themselves with others, listen to themselves, and share their state and mood.It is a self-confident child who will easily take the position of another and share his experiences. However, this technique concentrates the child’s attention only on himself, on his merits, achievements, and does not always lead to desired result. Children do not always empathize with others, and a high assessment of their own merits in most cases is not promotes equally highly rated by others.

The main goal of educating humanity andgoodwill lies in the formationthe ability to see friends and partners in peers. Sense of community and ability “seeing” another are the foundation on which morality is builtattitude towards people. It is this attitude generates sympathy, empathy, rejoicing and assistance.

To form friendly relationships between children, it is necessary to organize joint activities, since a preschooler often finds herself in situations where there is a need to help a partner, rejoice in his successes, and receive support from peers.

With age, peer interactions become varied and meaningful. At the same time, they can become a source of conflict situations. There are many reasons for such conflicts. One of them is that a child who has not decided what to do in the this moment, there is a fleeting desire to follow the example of peers. There is already a reason for the conflict: the child took a long time to get dressed, as a result, all the cars were dismantled by other children; or during construction, the child needed exactly those cubes that another child was currently using. Everyone knows what follows from this. A reasonable way out: teach how to get out of such situations in a friendly manner. The popular technique of “give it if asked politely” should not be considered as the only one suitable for cases. Because some children quickly get used to it and use it to the detriment of others.

The long stay of children together in a group creates the need to reckon with each other in many everyday situations.

The adult’s task is to work with the children to find a way out of the conflict that satisfies everyone and to form in children a negative attitude towards conflicting forms of behavior. However, in real life Children's actions are generally far from these rules of behavior. In addition, benevolence and responsiveness are not at all limited to just following certain rules of behavior. Often children’s games and activities together end in quarrels and dissatisfaction with how their peers act. The fact is that if a child is inattentive to a peer, he will not coordinate his actions with him. This reason - “inattention” - closes the other, it also contributes to isolation, misunderstanding, the emergence of resentment and quarrels. First of all, it is necessary to form moral feelings: compassion, responsiveness, sensitivity, caring, friendliness and mercy. Only by developing these feelings can a child be taught to understand and perceive other people’s joys and grievances as their own. Hence the widespread method of forming social moral feelings– awareness of the emotional state, enrichment of the vocabulary of emotions, mastery of a kind of “alphabet of feelings.”

An effective method of developing goodwill is a conversation, during which the teacher has the opportunity to involve the child in the suffering of another person. Conversation in Everyday life, before the game, during the game and after it contributes to the emergence of a response - compassion, encourages the child to find the right ways showing sympathy and providing assistance.

There is no need to prove that the child learns by playing, that play is the best way raising children. It is in play that children best manifest and consolidate good feelings. A preschooler’s communication with peers unfolds mainly in the process of playing together. While playing together, children begin to take into account the desire and action of another child, defend their point of view, build and realize joint plans. Therefore, play has a huge impact on the development of children’s communication.

The main task of games aimed at forming friendly relationships with peers is to attract the child’s attention to others and their various manifestations: appearance, moods, movements, actions and deeds. Games help children experience a sense of community with each other, teach them to notice the merits and experiences of a peer, and help him in playful and real interaction.

When communicating with peers, children develop a sense of community and a desire to see a friend in a peer. It generates sympathy, empathy and assistance. When interacting with peers, children learn to act together, voluntarily controlling their behavior.

Experience cool hours in elementary school shows: sometimes children do not know how to establish friendly relationships when interacting with each other, interrupt the interlocutor, start shouting in order to attract attention to themselves. However, many adults also behave this way, and this model of behavior has already been partially adopted by our children. It's important to teach junior schoolchildren not only express your thoughts, but also listen to others. This article presents exercises and games aimed at developing friendly relations among schoolchildren, which can be used during classroom hours.

When conducting such classroom hours, organization of space is important. It is better for the children to sit in a circle or semicircle - this way they are all on equal terms, see each other, which contributes to a sense of community, cohesion, security, and encourages communication. Such organization of space becomes symbolic for children, increases their interest in what is happening, and it is interest that stimulates the development of all mental processes students, activates their activities and gives the necessary pedagogical result.

Exercise “Tender name”

Goals: promote the emotional disclosure of each student; encourage the manifestation of goodwill in relationships with classmates.
Equipment: sheets of paper, pens.

Stage I
The teacher asks the children what kind words they call their parents; asks to write down these words on pieces of paper.

Stage II
Students in a circle answer the questions: what kind words do you call your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, sister, brother? and how affectionately do they call you? How does this make you feel?

Stage III
Students in a circle pay a compliment to their neighbor on the right. The exercise begins with the words: « I like it about you... » or « I like that you... »

Reflection
Do you enjoy being called by your affectionate name? Is it difficult to call others by their affectionate name? Why? Would it be nice if everyone treated each other kindly?

Exercise “Mood”

Goals: create conditions for studying yourself, the characteristics and capabilities of your personality; encourage them to show kindness towards their classmates.
Equipment: sheets of paper, felt-tip pens.

Stage I
The teacher says that every person sometimes feels sad, and asks the children why, in their opinion, this happens.

Stage II
It is reported that mood is either a positive (when you feel joy, delight, etc.) or negative (when you experience boredom, sadness) emotional state of a person. You need to learn to control the manifestation of a bad mood so that others do not suffer from it. Invented together various ways cheer up.

Stage III
The teacher invites the children to draw something for the neighbor on the right to cheer him up.

Reflection
What's your mood? Who liked the drawing given by a classmate? What new ways have you learned to cheer up?

Game "Flower-seven-flowered"

Goals: self-actualization of the individual, development of friendly relationships with classmates.
Equipment: sheets of A4 paper, felt-tip pens, pens.

Stage I
Children in a circle finish the sentence: “If I were a wizard, I would certainly...”

Stage II
A conversation is organized to determine which of the children’s wishes were useful for:

all people on Earth;

the country in which we live;

surrounding people (parents, relatives, friends);

yourself.

Stage III
Children draw a seven-flowered flower and write their wishes on its petals. Condition: one of the seven wishes must be related to classmates.

Stage IV
Children read out wishes for themselves (if they want), then for their classmates, guessing which one might come true and when.

Reflection
What was the most difficult task for you? What can each of you do to make the wishes for our class come true?

Exercise “Questions”

Goals: understanding the values ​​of human life; studying oneself, the characteristics and capabilities of one’s personality; development of individuality, friendly relations with classmates.
Equipment: sheets of paper, pens.

Stage I
Children answer the teacher’s questions in a circle:

Why do you need to go to school?

Why do people smile at each other?

Why give each other gifts?

Why do people do bad things?

Why can't you walk on lawns?

Why should you clean your room?

Why do people love nature?

Why should you read?

Why do we need music?

Stage II
The teacher asks the children to come up with interesting questions and write them down on pieces of paper.

Stage III
Children reread the questions they have compiled, choose the most interesting one and ask it to the neighbor on the right.

Reflection
Whose answer to the question was the most interesting? Which question was the most difficult for you to answer? Was it difficult to ask questions? Why do people ask each other questions?

Game "Pictogram"

Goals: exploring the possibilities of one’s personality; development of imagination, creativity, the ability to objectively evaluate oneself.
Equipment: A4 sheets of paper (4 for each student), pens or markers.

Stage I
The teacher says: a pictogram is a graphic representation of any kind of information, a drawn sign. For example, a spoon and fork criss-crossed - a table; cross - pharmacy or point medical care. Children come up with and draw pictograms: “We have a friendly class,” “We have a break,” “I’m in a bad mood,” “I’m having fun.”

Stage II
Children demonstrate drawn pictograms.

Stage III
Children exchange pictograms with the neighbor on the right and mark each other. Then they evaluate themselves.

Reflection
What new things have you learned about yourself? About the kids in our class? Whose pictogram do you think is the most successful?

Game "Backpack for a hike"

Goals: understanding the values ​​of a person’s personality; development of sensitivity in the perception of the surrounding world, the ability to objectively evaluate oneself and others.
Equipment: backpack.

Stage I
Children in a circle finish the sentence: “The hike is great because...”

Stage II
The teacher asks the children to imagine that they are going on a hike. To do this you need to pack a backpack. Placed in the center of the circle empty backpack. Children take turns listing the items that the whole class will need on the hike.

Stage III
Children answer the questions: what human qualities are important on a hike and why? What human qualities hinder you on a hike?

Reflection
Whose item in the backpack was the most useful for the whole class? What quality of a person is especially helpful on a hike? Which of the guys in our class has this quality?

Exercise "Gift"

Goals: o understanding the importance of a tender, attentive attitude towards family, friends, and other people; formation of goodwill and generosity.
Equipment: small gifts for classmates (postcards, pens, notebooks, etc.).

I stage
The teacher suggests thinking about the question: “Why are gifts needed?” Each student in a circle continues the phrase: “A gift is what...”

I I stage
The teacher says that receiving gifts is pleasant for both adults and children. Gifts can be small or large, expensive or cheap, edible or inedible, etc., the main thing is that they are made from the heart.

II I stage
Children in a circle answer the questions: what gift would you like to receive for your birthday? loved one? What is the best gift to give to a friend? What about a person you don’t know well?

I V stage
Children in a circle give their neighbor on the right a gift. It is noted that this must be done from the heart, with wishes, and the person who received the gift must definitely thank him for it.

Reflection
What did you like about the souvenir you received? What was more pleasant: giving or receiving a gift?

Exercise« Smile»

Goals: develop observation skills; learn to understand people, be friendly and welcoming to others.

I stage
Each student brings a photo to class loved one(mothers, fathers, grandmothers, etc.). The teacher announces the task: tell in a few sentences about the relative (who he is, what his character is, what he does, what his hobbies are).

I I stage
Student performances.

II I stage
A person unfamiliar to the children enters the class. ( The teacher can invite someone he knows.) This person must definitely smile. The teacher introduces the stranger to the children and asks them: « What can you say about this person » ?

IV stage
A joint conversation is organized about a smile, its meaning when people first meet each other, when people communicate. The teacher reads aphorisms: « A smile will make everyone brighter » , « A smile costs a person nothing, but gives a lot » , « A smile enriches those who receive it without impoverishing those who give it. » and etc.

Reflection
How did you feel during the lesson? What new did you learn?

Exercise« Good words»

Goals: promote the emotional disclosure of each student; encourage children to use kind words when communicating with each other; develop the ability to interact favorably with classmates.
Equipment: AZ size sheets of paper, pens.

Stage I
The teacher says that there are beautiful and kind words in the world. Children remember good words(mom, smile, sun, joy, etc.), write them down.

Stage II
Children in a circle name one of the written down kind words, and the classmate sitting on the right comes up with a sentence with this word.

Stage III
The teacher reports that in addition to the good ones, beautiful words there are evil, ugly, rude words. They can upset, offend a person, make him angry, so such words should not be used.

Reflection
What kind word did you rarely use, but now will you say more often? Why don't people want to hear evil words? What sentences with kind words were especially memorable?

Exercise« Good class»

Goals: develop the ability to interact positively with each other; learn to be friendly and friendly with classmates.

Stage I
Children in a circle complete the phrase: « It's good in our class when... »

Stage II
A conversation is organized about what each student can do to make the class friendly. Everyone in the circle expresses a positive opinion about the class, continuing the phrase: « I think that the guys in our class are great because... »

Reflection
What makes a class friendly? What prevents the class from being friendly?

This chapter explains both the personal observations of the authors and the rich experience of life wisdom of such people as L. Vauvenargues, Voltaire, G. Heine, D. Diderot, B. Gracian, J. La Bruyère, M. Montaigne, L. N. Tolstoy, F. Chesterfield et al.

Most happy man the one who gives happiness to the greatest number of people. D. Diderot

A good intention is useless until it turns into good deeds. Plautus

Learn about the fundamental difference between a good person and an evil one
A good person is one who remembers his sins and forgets his goodness. The evil one, on the contrary, is the one who remembers his goodness and forgets his sins.

If you want to be thought well of you, think well of others as well.
remember, that negative thoughts about others bring harm to the person himself and lead him to self-destruction, undermine his cheerfulness and prudence, and give rise to destructive and base things in him. Every human thought filled with hatred and malice is like poison for both the soul and the physical body. Everything that a person inspires in another affects first of all himself, since In the human body, absolutely everything that happens in his mind is recorded. How a person thinks about his loved ones, what feelings he has for them and how he acts towards them ultimately determines the course of his own life. Try to remember that The more good deeds and intentions a person radiates towards others, the more he will receive them in return. This is due to the fact that a positive attitude towards people usually always causes a response from them.

Try to be grateful to people both internally, that is, show “goodwill”, and externally (show “virtue”)
Remember that virtuous power will become a part of you only when you can create it and control it at your own will.

Know that virtue grows solely from benevolence
By thinking about good things and doing good deeds, a person accumulates positive impressions in himself, pushing him to do good even against his own will. One who has done many good deeds and thought a lot about goodness cultivates in himself an irresistible inclination towards goodness, not so much in thoughts, but in deeds and actions. A benevolent and virtuous person is usually said to be “doomed to success.” Let us supplement what has been said with the fact that such a person will be “safe forever.”

Be not only kind, but also virtuous,do good
Experience teaches that speaking is usually easy, but acting is much more difficult. Try not to let your kind words overshadow your good deeds. Remember that good deeds remain, but kind words are usually forgotten. Decency is found exclusively in concrete deeds, and not in pompous words.

Admire the people who surround you
Remember that not only you yourself are unique and inimitable, but also those who are next to you.

Change for the better, and then become a “mirror” for your interlocutor
Become a “mirror” for your interlocutor - show him that you see his unlimited possibilities.

Sincerely rejoice in the successes of those around you
When a person rejoices in the successes of those around him, he involuntarily opens the door to his own happiness and well-being. Remember: what is good for oneself usually brings good for another.

Wish other people wealth and prosperity, and you yourself will receive what you wish for others
The above statement once again confirms the principle of magnetism: “What you give is yours.” This is what really happens in life - What you wish for others, you usually get yourself. When a person wishes well-being and wealth to others, he fills his thoughts with wealth and well-being. And, as you know, thoughts have unique property- materialize in reality.

Give up the intention of taking revenge on your offenders, be above it
An emotionally mature person will never react negatively to criticism and attacks against him. Anyone who descends to the level where he can repay the same (that is, with an objection or similar reproach) automatically descends to the mental development of his offender. Remember that the words and deeds of the people around you can only hurt you when they are given meaning. Master special wisdom and maturity in relation to people, for this will help you, sticking to your point of view, overcome the habit of being rude and ignorant.

Learn to politely ignore those who are unpleasant, rude and ill-mannered
Friendly and resolutely refuse to communicate and cooperate with those who are selfish, intemperate and rude. Try not to accept such people into your social circle. If this cannot be avoided, then learn to hate in an extremely well-mannered manner.

By speaking negatively about another person, you yourself change for the worse.
Remember that announcing to another his mistakes, reminding him of his shortcomings inspires, first of all, the same negative thoughts and negative traits in your inner world.

Look “inside” yourself and you can see how much there is to improve.
In order to change yourself for the better, you must first recognize your own imperfections. Without this, the process of self-improvement is practically impossible. Remember that awareness of your own imperfection will certainly bring you closer to perfection. If you at least once honestly look into your soul, you will probably come across so many imperfections and weaknesses that you will have enough work for your whole life to first put yourself in order.

Moderate your antipathy towards people
This applies even to those who objectively deserve condemnation. Remember that for a perfect person there is no worse act than
dislike of those better than himself. Try to remember that contempt should be the most silent of all our feelings. Remember that if your illness comes out through your mouth, your good name will be in danger.

Avoid negative motives towards others
Remember that negative motives for your own behavior have harmful consequences, first of all, for yourself. Because the what you do for your neighbor encourages him to do the same for you.

Not only “bless” (that is, say words that carry goodness), but also “thank” (give goodness) to your “offender teachers”
It is better to give a benefit to your enemy in the form of a specific gift. How to define this gift? And to do this you need to answer the question: “ What exactly did this person try to take away from me by his actions, causing this negative feeling towards him? " The one who throws me off balance (“tyrant”) wants to make me a “victim” and feed off my energy. It is exactly what the “tyrant” specifically needs that needs to be given to him in the form of a “mental gift”: the one who annoys me needs peace of mind (this is exactly what should be given to him); the bandit threatening me needs courage and confidence in the future (this is not at all difficult to give him in the form of a “mental gift”); if anyone wants to take away my joy, confidence and my other
“positive” energies and strengths - let’s give them to our offender ourselves and do it from the bottom of our hearts. Remember that if you formed the image of the gift correctly, that is, you gave the person exactly what he needed and conveyed it with love, then you will see the fruits of a favorable change in your offender, and they will not only be “visible”, but also “on his face.” "

Be good-natured and friendly - this will significantly increase your safety and energetic integrity
It has been established experimentally that neither the “evil eye” nor the “damage” affects people who want good and kindness to people (good and benevolent), because they are protected from these negative energy forces by the Divine energy of goodness and love, which in its energy strength and its power is incomparable to anything in the world. Learn to give thanks - it will make you free. Sincere gratitude will save you from the vice whose name is pride. This frees you (makes you “free”) from those negative, negative energies that previously kept you “down” and did not allow you to rise “higher” to where there are no base feelings and experiences, where a person experiences delight, joy and inspired happiness. The act of thanksgiving means confirmation that you accept the current situation without complaints or resentment.

Learn to raise “other people’s walls” and lower “your own mountains”
Appreciate your uniqueness, but don't do it at the expense of elevating yourself above others. Realize that others are also creations of a single and omnipotent Divine power and, just like you, are unique and inimitable in their own way.

Thieves, rude people and other “scoundrels” are our teachers. Learn to love and thank them
Why should we love and thank a thief? For teaching us to respect money, both our own and other people's. Why should you love the offender? Because he tells us how to treat ourselves and others correctly (respectfully). Love your offenders, including those who especially hurt us, because they were the ones who pointed out our weak points and suggested what we specifically need to change in ourselves.

Bringing gifts to people, give joy to yourself
It turns out, as Dr. V. Sinelnikov states in his books, an amazing transformation; “gift is glad,” that is, “by giving, you rejoice.”

Learn not only to give, but also to accept gifts
Remember that if someone sincerely gives you something, it means you deserve it. Please accept this with gratitude. If someone does something for you, it is necessary, perhaps not so much for you as for him.

Rejoice in the success of others, this will attract success to yourself
Take the successes of others as a good sign that similar success will soon await you.

Being kind is beneficial, including in material and financial terms.
When you are virtuous (do good deeds) “according to the laws of reflection” (“laws of bestowal”), these same good deeds come back to you. This is how good thoughts, intentions and actions materialize. The main thing here is not to set yourself the goal of getting rich in this way; all good things should come from an open heart, filled with love for others.

When communicating with people, try to always remember the “law of reflection”
According to the "law of reflection" Every person who meets in your life, to one degree or another, reflects some of your personal traits. For example, if you “as if by chance” met a rude and foul-mouthed person, it means that to some extent this is in you too. You just need to take a closer look at yourself. If you come across someone who is easily offended, it means that some kind of unexpressed resentment lies within you. Learn to thank everyone who comes your way, because they clearly show those qualities of yours that you need to work on. If, thanks to the “hint” you received from the outside, you have changed for the better and you have not come across people who bear a certain negative quality for a long time, it means that you have really changed yourself for the better.

Remember that a smart person learns from everyone and everyone
There are no people who cannot teach you something. Let a kind person will teach you to be kind, but let the evil one teach you how not to be evil, and more precisely, he will also teach you kindness and decency. It follows that an irritable person should teach us calmness, a greedy person - generosity, a rude person - politeness and culture of behavior.

Learn to love people with negative qualities
This must be done because these people are your real “teachers”; they teach you what not to do. Following this logic of reasoning, it is necessary: ​​to love the thief who stole your money because he teaches respect for money, both your own and others’; love your offender because he teaches you to be the master of your own emotions, feelings and experiences. This list can and should be continued, and take a closer look at those who surround you in your daily activities. Find your teachers, both worthy and “unworthy” of imitation, and learn from some what you should do in life, and from others how you should not be.

Be generous and compassionate towards people
He who has a large reserve of spirituality grows with every new undertaking, and those around him discover more and more virtues in him. Remember: the more mature a person is, the more personality he is.

Master the sacrament of loving your neighbor
It is entirely up to you that you can respond to any person who accuses you, scolds you or does evil: “ Peace to you! " This is the sacrament of love for your neighbor, that is, your special readiness to show goodwill and respect for anyone who surrounds you. After all, everyone else, just like you, is born of the divine principle. Loving the world means loving everything that is created by this world.

Give up the acquired habit of getting angry at others
When you are angry with people, you involuntarily attract to yourself from the external energy space all the currents of evil and negativism.

Be wise, overcome your embittered attitude towards people
The spirit of denial and anger usually signs its own death sentence. And indeed, it is the villain himself who, as a rule, suffers from anger that is directed at people.

Develop a gracious attitude towards absolutely everyone around you
Look for things in life to be grateful for. Remember that when a person is looking for something, he will definitely find it.

Be kind to people rather than kind
The word “benevolence” means in its literal sense “to desire good” - “virtue” implies “doing good,” that is, it presupposes specific good deeds and actions. Remember that “being kind” and “being virtuous” are not the same thing. In many ways, failure to act in benevolence can be considered a human sin. That is why it is so important not to pass by people in need, past human sorrow and poverty.

Remember that “land that is not sown in spring will remain barren for the whole year.”
Likewise, those around us are unlikely to expect good deeds from us if in these days - “here and now” - we do not sow in ourselves the seeds of kindness, attention and love for people. Every action of a person towards others serves for the benefit or harm of them and has a real meaning, sometimes much greater than we imagine.

Understand thatgood deeds begin with good thoughts
“Thou shalt not kill,” says the law. However, it is necessary not only not to kill another person, but also not to be angry with him; not only not to sin in practice, but also in thoughts. Beware of alienating someone you want to help with a thoughtless word.

Try to be a joyful light in the path of others
Look for something that can please, not upset, a person. Try to start and end your meeting with everyone in joy. Say words of agreement and approval to others more often: “yes”, “true”, “agree” - this brings you closer and unites. It has been established experimentally that friendly people They say five times more “yes” than “no.”

When you do good to people, don’t expect a reward in return.
Some people, if they do someone a favor, expect a reward or gratitude for it. Others, although they do not expect reward and gratitude, still do not forget what they have done and consider those to whom they have done good as their debtors. But true good is that which is done not for another, but for oneself, and the person who has done it does not seek reward, but does good like a fruit tree that grows its fruits and is quite content with the fact that those fruits are used by those who needs them. Do good in secret and regret it when they find out about it - this way you will learn the joy of doing good. The consciousness of a good life without people's approval for it is the best reward of a good life.

Usually a person notices in his interlocutor what characterizes himself
A kind person will see and appreciate only kindness in another. " The eye can see the kindness of people if you have a good heart " An unkind, angry and envious person will certainly notice in another the same vices that he himself is endowed with. " After all, what evil people see in peacocks is not their beauty, but their crooked legs. ».

The value of the days lived is measured by how full they are of kindness.
If you don't brighten your day with simple kindness to someone, consider your day wasted. The value of the days lived is measured, perhaps, by the only currency: where and how many threads of love and kindness you wove during the day. Learn, even if you criticize others, in such a way that any of your reproofs are not only fair, but also filled with love.

No energy sent by a person in kindness can be lost in the world
Good energy will always find its recipient and help him. This energy of goodness is capable, if not of liberation, then certainly of alleviating the suffering of the person it rushes past. A good person is immune to the energy of evil, because the energy of evil entangles only those who themselves are filled with anger and irritation towards people. Use your existing wealth exclusively for the benefit of your neighbors.
them.

Give yourself the pleasure of giving joy to people
If you met a person and were unable to say a comforting word to him, you have lost the opportunity to experience a moment of special happiness in life. Feel and realize more fully that it is more blissful to give than to receive.

Bring the “joy of action” into your home
Learn not only to say joyful, approving words, but also to do what you say. Remember that the best kind of word is action.

If you want to convince someone of something, convince them not with words, but with deeds
If you want to convince a person that he is not living the way he should (in your opinion) live, do not convince him with words, live well yourself. Remember that people only believe what they see.

Remind yourself often of your most important duty - “the duty of serving people”
Alas, we often avoid responsibility by saying that we cannot take it upon ourselves. But by avoiding it, we sometimes meet incomparably
great difficulties. Remember that we will be given enough strength to accomplish everything that is entrusted to us. But when we shirk our responsibility to help others, we can no longer count on the help of the universal forces, and, undoubtedly, it will be much more difficult for us to achieve our goals in life when we rely only on our own strength.

Master the wisdom of understanding whatno one in this world is to blame for anything
Remember that everyone does their job based on their own understanding of good. Be respectful of the prevailing beliefs of those around you.

Give up the desire to pour out anger, resentment and irritation on people around you, even if they were the source of these negative states
And even if it happens that someone deliberately does something dirty to you, thank him for the lesson you learn , overcoming this evil and not splashing it out on the offender. Remember that carrying anger towards someone means harming yourself first of all.

“Echoes in our lives”, or “like gives rise to like”
One day, father and son were walking in the mountains. Suddenly the son fell, injured himself and shouted: “Ah-ah-ah!” To his surprise, he heard a voice somewhere high in the mountains repeat after him: “A-a-a-a!” Curious, he shouted: “Who are you?” And in response I heard: “Who are you?” Angry at this answer, he shouted: “Coward.” And the echo echoed him. Then he looked at his father and asked, “What is this?” The father smiled and said: “Listen, son.” After that, he turned to the mountains and shouted: “I like you!” And the voice answered him: “I like you!” And again the father shouted: “You are great!” And the voice echoed him: “You are great!” The boy was very surprised, but did not understand anything. Then the father explained to him: “People call it an ECHO, but in fact it is LIFE. They answer you with the same thing you said or did. Your life is just a reflection of your actions " “Like begets like,” says the well-known principle of reflection. If you want to be loved more, fill your heart with love first. and learn to love those around you. This relationship exists in relation to everything in life, to every aspect of it; life will return to you everything you gave to it. Your life is not a coincidence, it is a reflection of yourself.

Radiate warmth, you will be warmer too
Give a random passer-by your smile, attention and warmth, and what the famous poet R. Rilke described in his lines will happen:
At the sad station someone suddenly
He nodded to someone.
Easy movement.
And it seems that you are treated kindly like a friend.
The birth of a look...
What is its significance?

Become an inexhaustible source of love and kindness for those around you.
As you know, bitter water will not flow from a sweet spring, and not a single evil word will escape from a good heart.
Encourage those around you with words of sincere praise. Please them with words of affection and warmth. Soften the suffering of those in need with a word of sympathy. Inflame their hearts with the word of faith. Light up everything around with a word of gratitude.

Remember that a “good tree” is known by its good fruit
Learn to carry a good beginning not only with words, but also with deeds.

"Do not sow the wind, for you will reap the storm"
He who sows the seeds of anger and irritation will reap a storm of hatred and rejection. A good seed is a good word. A kind word will bring into your life “first greens, then an ear, then a full grain in the ear,” and there will be many such grains.

Do good - it's wonderful
Be generous to others with kind feelings and statements that contain the words “dear” or “dear”: The most beautiful word is “dear”...
How many feelings does it contain alone?
And it illuminates the soul with joy,
Rivaling the rainbow-arc.
L. Tatyanicheva

Remind yourself often that “the door to people opens outward.”
In order to receive goodness, joy and happiness, you must first give it away, for the truth is true (this is confirmed by centuries-old practice) - it is impossible to receive without giving. You can only give what you have. That's why, before you give it away, you need to buy it yourself, and acquiring a good beginning is necessary initially within yourself , that is, by good relations to the surrounding world and people.

A person who wishes harm to people punishes himself first.
Following the well-known rule: “What you give is yours,” it is easy to guess what the one who gives evil, hatred and disgust to people can receive in return.

Remember that the “law of giving” exists; the giver can and must receive
Any of your actions (good or bad), through thousands of cause-and-effect relationships, will always boomerang back to you. This is truly: “What you give is yours!” Remember: what we send into the lives of others comes back into our own.

Change your habit of changing a person without his readiness and desire
Remember that it is impossible to change a person until he himself wants it, because no one’s eyes can be opened by force. This once again confirms the classic saying: “The student is ready - the teacher has come.” Refuse the temptation to introduce an unprepared person into the world of new ideas and spiritual values ​​that are still alien to him. This will be disastrous for him.

Be especially tolerant of clearly imperfect people
Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, looking at the imperfection of a creature whose name is man. Try to find in this situation the highest degree of empathy for such a person, and not utter a word of accusation or reproach towards him.

Understand that your love for people will not always win instantly, not always and not everyone will immediately accept it with an open heart
Be tolerant of the fact that sometimes your empathy and love for people will not reach the recipient and you will not receive a positive response in return. Let this keep you believing in the truth of the statement “What you give is yours!” In order for feedback to work, you just need to “give it time.” As you embody your virtue, do not expect immediate, immediate, immediate fruits of your work. Do not worry about “fruits”, but about ensuring that you have enough spiritual strength to receive a reward or praise for your work.

Learn to respond correctly to criticism addressed to you
In a situation where someone criticizes you (even without any reason), you need to forgive and thank the critic. This must be done, firstly, in order to help him partly free himself from his own aggression and the difficulties with which he struggles in solving the problems of earthly existence; secondly, to facilitate the process of one’s own improvement. Wishing the critic “all the best to you” will be correct and exceptionally good both for him and for you.

Do good without promising good
“My friends, I lost a day!” - the famous Roman emperor Titus once said at dinner, when he remembered that he had not done anything good to anyone all day. Try to do good and do good deeds as often as possible, and you will experience a special joy - the joy of giving good and bright things.

Overcome the desire to judge people, because the verdict that you pass on others will be passed on you first of all.
Alas, many simply forget the classic: “ Judge not, lest ye be judged, for with the same judgment ye judge, so shall ye be judged " Remember that your mind is a kind of creative mediator: everything that you suggest, advise and do to others affects you yourself. Believe that all the good you do to people will be returned to you in equal measure. Understand that your attitude towards people is formed by you, that is, it will depend on you what type of relationship will prevail in communication with others.

Give up the negative habit of misleading others, because by doing this you are deceiving yourself.
Remember that he who deliberately misleads and deceives his neighbor first of all commits deception towards himself.

Know that a positive attitude towards others always causes a response from them
Make sure that your life observations are true:
the more good intentions you radiate to the people around you, the more you will receive them in return;
the more love and goodness comes from you, the more of them will come to you from all sides.

Human kindness will be seen only by those who have an open heart, who are filled with love for people.
This idea is wonderfully expressed in the lines already known to the reader, we will repeat them once again on the pages of this manual: “The eye sees the kindness of people if you have a good heart.” More often express to people the amazing power of kindness and love wishes of S. Ya. Marshak: “ Let your mind be kind and your heart be smart ».

based on the book Vyacheslav Pankratov, Lyudmila Shcherbinina Smile for happiness! Peter 2008
Also more links from the book:

Sections: Working with preschoolers

Formation of positive self-esteem, encouragement and recognition of the child’s merits are considered as the main methods of social and moral education. Such education is aimed at oneself, at improving and reinforcing one’s positive assessment. Yes, indeed, we evaluate children, encourage them, blame them, and competitive moments creep in during classes and games. We use toys in the game that distract children from direct communication; there are also “teases”. Of course, all this must be eradicated. In my practice, I actively adhere to the following principles:

1. Non-judgmental.

2. Refusal of real objects and toys.

3. Lack of competitiveness in games.

The main goal of fostering humanity and benevolence is to form a community with others and the opportunity to see friends and partners in peers. A sense of community and the ability to “see” another are the foundation on which a moral, tolerant attitude towards people is built. It is this attitude that generates sympathy, empathy, joy and assistance. Based on the above, in my work I use a game system for children aged 4-6 years.

The main task of this system is to attract the child’s attention to the other and his various manifestations: appearance, moods, movements, actions and deeds. Towards the middle preschool age The basic personal qualities of the child are already taking shape; the identified individual characteristics cannot be considered completely completed and closed to change. The main strategy of this formation was the removal of fixation on one’s own “I” through the development of attention to others, a sense of community and belonging. This strategy involves a significant transformation of value guidelines and methods of moral education that exist in modern preschool pedagogy, in particular, refusal of assessments, joint subject activities and toys in the first stages of work.

In my work, I used games in 7 stages. 7 children are participating: four of them are prosperous children, three with problems in moral development and in relation to peers.

Stage 1. Communication without words

“Life in the Forest”

I sat down on the floor and seated the seven children around me. “Let's play animals in the forest. Animals do not know human language. But they need to communicate somehow, so we came up with our own special language. When we want to say hello, we rub our noses against each other (I show how to do this when approaching each child), when we want to ask

how are you, we clap our palm on the other’s palm (show), when we want to say that everything is fine, we put our head on the other’s shoulder, when we want to express our friendship and love to the other, we rub our heads against him (show). Ready? Then we started.

“It’s morning, you just woke up, the sun is out, the forest is waking up, the animals are happily stretching and wishing each other good morning” (children rub their noses against each other). Vanya and Sasha did not want to do this, I did not force them. “The animals smile at each other and ask how things are going” (children clap their palm on the palm of another child). The two also watch while sitting next to each other, but do not join the game. “The animals, smiling, answer that everything is fine” (the children put their heads on the shoulder of another child). Vanya and Sasha are still watching, but it is already clear that they want to join the game. I invite them, there is no refusal. “The animals wash themselves and brush their teeth. They decided to have breakfast together. The animals treat each other with fruits and vegetables” (children wash their faces, brush their teeth, hand vegetables and fruits to each other). They perform all movements with desire. Anya said the word “eat”, I went up to her and put my finger to my lips. She realized that she couldn't talk. “The animals, smiling, say thank you to each other” (children express their gratitude by rubbing their heads against each other). Forgetting, of course, the rule, the three children said “thank you,” but immediately rubbed their heads against each other, while they smiled at me and at each other. “Suddenly a cold wind blew, rain started dripping, and the animals hid under a large mushroom, huddling together” (the children huddled together, showing that they were cold). They coped with this task well. “The sun came out, and the animals smiled at each other” (children rub their noses against each other). They also liked this task and completed it with pleasure. “The animals held hands and went for a walk” (the children held hands, but at the same time Vanya wanted to take Nastya’s hand, but she took Sasha’s hand, and Vanya screamed and walked away). Vanya stood aside and turned away. But when I smiled at him and offered my hand, the boy took it, but with sadness. “The animals danced merrily and joyfully and smiled at each other” (the children, without letting go of their hands, continued the dance). Vanya smiled and went to dance with me. “So a sunny, cheerful day passed. The animals said goodbye and wished each other Good night“Let’s go to bed” (the children rubbed their noses against each other and went to bed, sitting down on the floor and putting their hands under their cheeks). The task was completed well.

At this point I finished the game, the children really liked it, and they expressed a desire to play more. I played with the children and showed examples of play actions. I didn’t force the children to perform the actions, but when they saw my smile, they joined in. There were no object attributes or toys in the game. The game had its own “conditioned signals”, with the help of which children could exchange for communication. These “conditioned signals” were expressed in physical contact.

The main goal of this stage was the transition to direct communication, which implied the abandonment of the verbal and objective methods of interaction familiar to children. The rule of this game is no talking between children. The game showed that children can get used to free interaction.

2nd stage. Attention to each other

“Common Circle”

I gather children around me. “Let’s sit on the floor now, but so that each of you can see all the other guys and me, and so that I can see each of you” (children sit in a circle). “And now, to make sure that no one is hiding and I see everyone, and everyone sees me, let each of you greet everyone in a circle with your eyes. I'll start first; when I say hello to everyone, my neighbor will start saying hello.” I look into each child's eyes in a circle and slightly nod my head. When I said hello to everyone

children, I touched my neighbor’s shoulder, inviting him to say hello to the guys.

Of the seven children, only Vanya had a difficult time; he greeted chaotically, and not with everyone. The rest of the children slowly completed the task.

“Find your brother or sister”

Gathering the children around me, I say: “Do you know that all animals are born blind? And only after a few days, they open their eyes. Let's play blind little animals. Now I will go up to everyone, blindfold them with a scarf and tell them whose cub they are. Each of you will have your own brother or sister who will speak the same language as you: kittens - meow, puppies - whine, calves - moo. You will have to find each other by sound.” I blindfold the children and whisper to each one whose cub it is and what sounds it should make. The roles were distributed so that there were 2 cubs of each animal in the group. Children crawl on the floor, “speak” their language and look for another child who speaks the same language. After the children found their pairs, I untied their eyes and offered to meet other pairs of cubs. The children crawled around the group and got to know each other, each speaking their own language.

The goal of this stage was to develop the ability to see a peer, pay attention to him and become like him. During the games, Sasha had little attention, because... he is focused on himself and his “I”. But, despite this, he was distracted from such fixation on his own “I”. I tried to complete tasks, the successful completion of which requires attention to children: their actions, appearance, facial expressions, voice, gestures, etc.

3rd stage. Coherence of movements

“Making sculptures”

I help the children get into pairs and then say, “Let one of you be the sculptor and the other the clay. Clay is a very soft and docile material. Now I will give each sculptor a photograph of his future sculpture, do not show it to your partner. Take a close look at your photo and try to sculpt exactly the same statue out of your partner. At the same time, you cannot talk, because clay does not know the language and cannot understand you.” I gave the children photographs of various statues and monuments. She chose one child and began to “sculpt” him into a sculpture, after showing all the children a photograph of her future monument. After that, the children “sculpt” on their own, I watched the game and approached the children who were not doing well. Then the children showed their sculptures to me and the guys. After that, I handed out the photographs again and the children switched roles.

“Composite figures” I seated the children around me and said: “Those of you who have been to the circus or the zoo have probably seen an elephant. And whoever wasn’t, saw his image in a picture in a book. Let's try to depict it. How many legs does he have? That's right, four. Who wants to be the elephant's feet? Who will be the trunk?” etc. Thus, children are selected, each of whom will depict some part of the elephant’s body. I help the children arrange themselves in the correct order. Ahead is the trunk. Behind it is the head, on the sides are the ears, etc. When the elephant is assembled, I invite him to walk through the group: each part of the elephant follows the order. Then, in the same order, a cat, a dog, and a fox were depicted. When moving, the children imitated their gait and voiced the animals.

The main task of this stage was to teach the child to coordinate his own behavior with the behavior of other children. The children showed noticeable attention to their peers. They acted in accordance with the needs, interests and behavior of other children. A sense of community, cohesive action. Directed attention to the other child created coordination of movements. The only problem was that Sasha wanted to be the head. In order not to disrupt the game, we had to make concessions to him.

4th stage. General experiences

"Evil Dragon"

At the beginning of the game, I invite children to become gnomes living in small houses. When the children took their places in the box house, I told them: “There is a big problem in our country. Every night a big, big dragon flies in and takes people to his castle on the mountain, and no one knows what happens to them next. There is only one way to escape from the dragon: when dusk falls on the city, people hide in their houses, sit there, hugging each other, and persuade each other not to be afraid, console each other, stroke each other. The dragon can't stand it kind words and when he hears them coming from the house, he tries to fly past this house faster and continues to search for another house from which such words are not heard. So, the last rays of the sun are slowly fading, dusk is falling on the city and people are rushing to hide in their houses and hug each other tightly.” I walk between the houses, pretending to be a dragon, howling terribly. I threaten, stopping at each house and looking inside, making sure that the children inside the house are supporting and comforting each other, and move on to the next one.

“Climbers”

A small circle is marked on the floor in such a way that children can fit in it only by clinging tightly to each other. I say: “You are rock climbers who, with great difficulty, climbed to the top of the highest mountain in the world. Now you need to rest. Climbers have a tradition: when they reach the top, they stand on it and sing a song:

We are climbers, we have reached the top,
The winds of leprosy are not afraid of us.

Remember the song? Then get up on the platform. It is very small, and beyond the line there is a deep abyss. Therefore, you can only stand on it very closely, clinging to each other and hugging tightly. Support each other so that no one falls.”

This stage consisted of games aimed at experiencing general emotions. Shared experience emotional states- positive (negative) children united, created a feeling of closeness, community and a desire to support each other. The feeling of danger and fear of an imaginary enemy is especially acute.

5th stage. Mutual assistance in the game

“Old Grandma”

I divide the children into pairs. Each couple consists of a grandmother (grandfather) and a granddaughter (grandson). Grandparents are very old, they don’t see or hear anything. But they definitely need to be taken to a doctor, and to do this they need to cross the street with very heavy traffic. Grandsons and granddaughters must move them across the road so that they are not hit by a car. I draw the street with chalk on the floor. Several children play the role of cars and run up and down the street. The guide needs to protect the old people from cars, lead them through a dangerous road, show them to the doctor (whose role is played by one of the children), buy medicine and bring them home along the same road.

“Living Dolls”

I divide the children into pairs. “Let's imagine that your dolls come to life. They can talk, ask, run, etc. Let's imagine that one of you is a child, and the other is his girl doll or boy doll. The doll will ask for something, and its owner will fulfill its requests and take care of it.” I suggest pretending to wash the doll’s hands, feed it, take a walk, put it to bed, etc. At the same time, I warn that the owner must comply with all the doll’s whims and not force her to do anything she doesn’t want. When the children accept the game situation and get carried away, let them continue to play on their own. In the next game they will have to switch roles. At this stage, it became possible to use games that require children to mutually help, show empathy and joy. However, as practice shows, the use of such games without prior preparation leads to the fact that the motivation for helping other children is not disinterested, but rather pragmatic or normative in nature: I help because adults praise me for it or because the teacher said that it is necessary to help. In order for the children to really want to help others, I first created a favorable climate in the group, an atmosphere of direct, free communication and emotional closeness. Even aggressive children empathized with each other, helped and supported their peers.

6th stage. Kind words and wishes

“Good Wizards”

Children sit in a circle. I tell another fairy tale: “In one country there lived a rude villain. He could bewitch any child, calling him bad words. Enchanted children could not have fun and be kind. Only good wizards could disenchant such unfortunate children, calling them by affectionate names. Let's see if we have such enchanted children. And who can become a good wizard and disenchant them by inventing kind, affectionate names?” I chose children to be good wizards. Posing themselves as good wizards, they take turns approaching the bewitched friend and try to break the spell, calling him by affectionate names.

“Compliments”

Sitting in a circle, children join hands. Looking into your neighbor's eyes, you need to say a few kind words to him, praise him for something. For example: “You have such beautiful slippers; or it’s so good to play with you; or you can sing and dance better than anyone.” The person receiving the compliment nods his head and says: “Thank you, I’m very pleased!” He then compliments his neighbor. The exercise is carried out in a circle.

“Bragging Competition”

Children sit in a circle. I say: “Now we will hold a braggart competition with you. The one who boasts the best wins. We will not brag about ourselves, but about our neighbor. It's so nice to have the best neighbor! Look closely at the person sitting to your right. Think about what he is like, what is good about him. What can he do, what good deeds done what you might like. Don't forget that this is a competition. The winner will be the one who boasts better about his neighbor, who finds more merit in him.” After such an introduction, the children in a circle name the advantages of their neighbor and brag about his merits. In this case, the objectivity of the assessment is completely unimportant - whether these advantages are real or invented. The scale of these advantages is also unimportant - it can be a loud voice, a neat hairstyle, and long (or short) hair. The main thing is that children notice these characteristics of their peers and are able not only to positively evaluate them, but also to brag about them to their peers. The winner is chosen by the children themselves, but if necessary I can express my opinion. To make the victory more meaningful and desirable, I awarded the winner a small prize - a paper medal “Best Braggart”.

After the children have gone through the games and activities of the previous stages, a friendly and calm atmosphere prevails in the group. I played games specifically aimed at verbally expressing my attitude towards another. The task of this stage is to teach children to see and emphasize positive traits and the dignity of other children. By giving compliments to a peer, telling him their wishes, children not only give him pleasure, but also rejoice with him. The children's activity exceeded all limits. The children expressed so many interesting compliments to their peers. But what kind and gentle words I heard addressed to me, it was beyond praise.

7th stage. Help in joint activities

“Finish the drawings”

Children sit in a circle. Each person has a set of markers or pencils and a piece of paper. I say: “Now each of you will begin to draw your own picture. When I clap, you will stop drawing and immediately give your unfinished picture to the neighbor on the left. He will continue to draw your picture, then at my clap he will stop and give it to his neighbor. And so on until the drawing that you started to draw at the beginning comes back to you.” The children begin to draw any picture, then, when I clap, they pass it to one neighbor and at the same time receive his picture from another neighbor. After the pictures went full circle and returned to their original authors, we discussed what happened as a result, and which of the guys drew what in each common picture.

“Master and Apprentices”

I divide the children into subgroups of three or four. One child is a master, the rest are apprentices. I say: “A competition has been announced in our city for the best applique, in which the most famous masters are taking part. Each master has his own apprentices, who must follow all his instructions exactly. The application should be created as quickly as possible. The master comes up with a plot and distributes responsibilities: one must cut out the parts of the desired shape, the other must search required colors, the third is to spread glue. The master will glue the parts onto a sheet of paper.” The children start working. After the works are ready, an exhibition is organized.

“The big picture”

I bring a large piece of whatman paper and say: “Remember, at the very beginning we played animals in the forest? In our forest there lived kind animals who loved each other very much, were always ready to help another and never quarreled. Today we will all draw together this forest and all its inhabitants, because we are so similar to them: we love each other too, we always help and never quarrel with each other!” The children do the work, I help them. At this stage, I conducted game-activities that involved various forms of prosocial behavior: children shared with a peer, helped him in the process of joint activities.

Joint activity classes are held only at final stage, when friendly and non-conflict relationships have already been established between children. In addition, at this stage, a competitive moment is introduced for the first time, and children compete not for their own success, but for the success of another. So, for example, in the game “Master and Apprentices,” where, in order for one master to win over another, the apprentices helped him in every possible way (when appliquéing, they cut out the necessary parts, sculpted individual parts, looked for elements of the required size and color). Such forms joint activities contribute to the development of mutual assistance, the ability to accept the plans and plans of another and rejoice in his success. All this shifts the competitive aspect to the background.

The proposed games represent a specially built system in which each stage builds on the previous one and prepares the next one. Within each stage, a desirable sequence of games is proposed that develop certain aspects of children’s relationships. Therefore, it is advisable to adhere to the sequence presented above. After playing three or four games with the children, I moved on to the initial games of the next stages. I chose exactly those games at each stage that correspond to our capabilities and the interests of our children. Repeating the same games over and over again is an important condition their developmental effect. Preschoolers learn new things in different ways and at different paces. By systematically participating in a particular game, children begin to better understand its content and enjoy performing game actions. The children themselves love to play familiar games and often asked to repeat some game. In such cases, I devoted the first half of the lesson to the game, and left the new game for the second half.

Games for direct interaction contributed to the actualization of emotional connections and a sense of community, which prevented the emergence of conflicts regarding objects and objective actions.

The experience of holding games has shown quite good results. The children began to play more, resolved many conflicts on their own, and demanded less attention from me. In addition, the aggressiveness of many problem children has noticeably decreased; the number of demonstrative reactions has decreased; withdrawn children, who previously played alone or did not leave a single step from me, began to participate more often in joint games. Preliminary experience in conducting games and activities showed that the climate in the group has noticeably improved. According to parents, children began to play more and resolved many conflicts on their own.

Game therapy, aimed at eliminating disturbances in relationships with peers in a preschooler, helps eliminate affective obstacles in children's interpersonal relationships, as well as achieve more adequate adaptation and socialization of preschoolers. If a child’s interpersonal relationships are not going well or there is internal emotional discomfort, the full intellectual development of his personality may be disrupted, since the well-being of the child’s relationships with peers directly determines the formation of the individual’s own psychological structures: emotions, motives, self-awareness, personal activity and initiative.

An attempt to diagnose and correct the level of communication and relationships of children in preschool groups of kindergartens using game methods, as the experience of many researchers shows, is very effective. These methods allow us to identify the main parameters of communication, interpersonal relationships and the main motives that determine the importance of a peer for a preschool child.

These results provide grounds for introducing the developed system of games and activities aimed at moral development and the formation of interpersonal relationships in all groups of the preschool institution.

To develop full-fledged communication between children and to establish humane relationships between them, the mere presence of other children and toys is not enough. The experience itself kindergarten or nursery does not provide a significant “increase” to social development children. Thus, it was found that children from orphanage who have unlimited opportunities to communicate with each other, but are brought up in a deficit of communication with adults, contacts with peers are poor, primitive and monotonous. These children, as a rule, are not capable of empathy, mutual assistance, independent organization meaningful communication. For these important abilities to arise, proper, purposeful organization of children's communication is necessary.

However, what kind of influence should an adult have in order for children’s interaction to be successful?

In early preschool age, two ways are possible: firstly, it is the organization of joint activities of children; secondly, this is the formation of their subjective interaction. Psychological research shows that for younger preschoolers substantive interaction turns out to be ineffective. Children focus on their toys and engage mainly in their individual play. Their proactive approaches to each other come down to attempts to take away attractive objects from a peer. They either refuse requests or appeals from their peers or do not respond at all. The interest in toys characteristic of children of this age prevents the child from “seeing” his peer. The toy, as it were, “covers” the human qualities of another child.

The second way is much more effective, in which an adult establishes relationships between children, draws their attention to each other’s subjective qualities: demonstrates the merits of a peer, affectionately calls him by name, praises a partner, offers to repeat his actions, etc. With such influences, the adult’s children's interest in each other, emotionally charged actions appear addressed to peers. It is the adult who helps the child “discover” his peer and see in him the same being as himself.

One of the most effective forms subjective interaction of children are joint round dance games for kids, in which they act simultaneously and in the same way (“Loaf”, “Carousel”, etc.). The absence of objects and competition in such games, the commonality of actions and emotional experiences create a special atmosphere of unity with peers and closeness of children, which has a beneficial effect on the development of communication and interpersonal relationships.

However, what to do if the child clearly demonstrates any problematic forms of attitude towards peers: if he offends others, or is constantly offended himself, or is afraid of peers?

It should be said right away that explanations of how to behave, positive examples, and even more so punishments for incorrect attitude towards peers turn out to be ineffective for preschoolers (as well as for adults). The fact is that the attitude towards others expresses the deepest personal qualities of a person, which cannot be arbitrarily changed at the request of the parents. At the same time, in preschoolers these qualities are not yet strictly fixed and fully developed. Therefore, at this stage it is possible to overcome negative tendencies, but this should be done not by demands and punishments, but by organizing the child’s own experience.

It is obvious that a humane attitude towards others is based on the ability to empathize, to sympathize, which manifests itself in a wide variety of life situations. Means, it is necessary to cultivate not only ideas about proper behavior or communication skills, but above all moral feelings that allow you to accept and perceive other people’s difficulties and joys as your own.

The most common method of developing social and moral feelings is considered to be awareness of emotional states, a kind of reflection, enrichment of the vocabulary of emotions, and mastery of a kind of “alphabet of feelings.” The main method of educating moral feelings in both domestic and international foreign pedagogy is the child’s awareness of his experiences, self-knowledge and comparison with others. Children are taught to talk about their own experiences, compare their qualities with the qualities of others, recognize and name emotions. However, all these techniques focus the child’s attention on himself, his merits and achievements. Children are taught to listen to themselves, name their states and moods, understand their qualities and strengths. It is assumed that a child who is self-confident and well understands his experiences can easily take the position of another and share his experiences. However, these assumptions are not justified. Feeling and awareness of one’s pain (both physical and mental) does not always lead to empathy for the pain of others, and a high assessment of one’s merits in most cases does not contribute to an equally high assessment of others.

In this regard, there is a need for new approaches to the formation of relationships among preschoolers. The main strategy of this formation should not be reflection of one’s experiences and not strengthening one’s self-esteem, but, on the contrary, removing fixation on one’s own self through the development of attention to others, a sense of community and involvement with him.

IN Lately the formation of positive self-esteem, encouragement and recognition of the child’s merits are the main methods of social and moral education. This method is based on the belief that positive self-esteem and reflection provide the child with emotional comfort and contribute to the development of his personality and interpersonal relationships. Such education is aimed at oneself, at self-improvement and reinforcing one’s positive assessment. As a result, the child begins to perceive and experience only himself and the attitude of others towards him. And this, as shown above, is the source of most problematic forms of interpersonal relationships.

As a result, a peer often begins to be perceived as something other than equal partner, but as a competitor and rival. All this creates disunity between children, while the main task of education is the formation of community and unity with others. The parenting strategy should involve the rejection of competition and, therefore, evaluation. Any assessment (both negative and positive) focuses the child’s attention on his own positive and negative qualities, on the advantages and disadvantages of another and, as a result, provokes comparison of himself with others. All this gives rise to the desire to “please” an adult, to assert oneself and does not contribute to the development of a sense of community with peers. Although this principle is obvious, it is difficult to implement in practice. Encouragement and reprimand are firmly established in traditional methods of education.

It is also necessary to abandon the competitive nature of games and activities. Competitions, competitive games, duels and competitions are very common and widely used in practice. preschool education. However, all these games direct the child’s attention to his own qualities and merits, give rise to vivid demonstrativeness, competitiveness, focus on the assessment of others and, ultimately, disunity with peers. That is why, in order to form friendly relations with peers, it is advisable to exclude games containing competitive moments and any forms of competition.

Often, numerous quarrels and conflicts arise due to the possession of toys. As practice shows, the appearance of any object in the game distracts children from direct communication; the child begins to see a peer as a contender for an attractive toy, and not as an interesting partner. In this regard, in the first stages of the formation of humane relationships, one should, if possible, abandon the use of toys and objects in order to maximally direct the child’s attention to his peers.

Another reason for quarrels and conflicts among children is verbal aggression (all kinds of “teasing”, “calling names”, etc.). If a child can express positive emotions expressively (smile, laugh, gesture), then the most common and in a simple way manifestations of negative emotions are verbal expression (curses, complaints). Therefore, the development of humane feelings should minimize the verbal interaction of children. Instead, conventional signals, expressive movements, facial expressions, gestures, etc. can be used as means of communication.

Thus, the education of humane relations should be based on the following principles:

Basic principles of education of humane relations

1. Non-judgmental. Any assessment (even positive) contributes to fixation on one’s own qualities, strengths and weaknesses. This is what determines the restriction of a child’s statements to his peers. Minimizing value judgments and using expressive facial or gestural means of communication can promote non-judgmental interaction.

2. Refusal of real objects and toys. As practice shows, the appearance of any object in the game distracts children from direct interaction. Children begin to communicate “about” something, and communication itself becomes not a goal, but a means of interaction.

3. Lack of competition in games. Since fixation on one’s own qualities and merits gives rise to intense demonstrativeness, competitiveness and an orientation towards the evaluation of others, it is better to exclude games and activities that provoke children to display these reactions.