Leadership qualities of children. How to make a leader out of a child

The birth of a baby is a true miracle that gives loving family the opportunity to raise a worthy replacement for yourself and give the world a noble personality. Bearing, feeding and educating a child are only the “technical” aspects of this process. It is extremely important to become a good mother for him, help him develop the best qualities, and guide him in the right direction.

Psychology in developing leaders

Do you and your spouse adore your child, and have you seriously decided to raise him to be a successful businessman, politician, athlete or artist?

Do you want your child to be a high-ranking, authoritative figure in adulthood? Then you will need valuable advice on how to teach your child to be a leader.

First of all, we want to emphasize that raising a child as a leader means giving him confidence that he is loved at home, teaching him to be independent and charismatic, open in communication, persistent, purposeful and courageous.

First of all, it’s worth figuring out why you need to raise a real ruler from your child? If his innate mentality is strong, and his bright personality is noted from a very early age, leadership qualities will certainly appear later and without outside help. If, by natural nature, the baby is weak, withdrawn, dreamy and vulnerable, is it worth “breaking” his nature, rebuilding it to suit his own interests?

It should be understood that from such a “raw” version it will only be possible to grow artificial authority. Moreover, nature never errs in endowing the individual with a certain internal psychology. If your child is quiet, shy and timid, he should not become a “ringleader”. And this is not a problem at all - perhaps his personal nature will reveal itself much more fruitfully.

When wondering how to raise a child to be a true leader, we strongly recommend that you analyze the need for this action. By overdoing this, you risk making him a cynic, a despot, or a narcissist with sick self-esteem, especially if by nature he does not strive to gain power and recognition.

We decided to give some key tips from psychologists on how to raise a child as a real leader:

Whatever your baby’s nature, you need to love him, and love him unconditionally, without any “buts”;
Never talk to your child about how bad, ignorant, or weak he is. If he has committed a serious offense, tell him: "You're very good man, but this time you did something bad. This is very unexpected for us”;
Encourage your child in all his endeavors, even if they seem stupid, frivolous and frivolous to you? Do you want to raise a boy to be a pilot or captain, but he dreams of becoming an artist? Encourage him in this endeavor!;
Your baby sees you as the main authority and the main critic. If you constantly hint to him about what a bungler he is, in the end you will certainly get a person with low self-esteem and mental disorders;
Be sure to teach him that everything works out, but not right away. " Perseverance and work will grind everything down! – this attitude should become key in your dialogues with your child;
You shouldn’t overprotect your baby and protect him from all the hardships of life. Sometimes it’s worth letting him overcome obstacles on his own, and even take risks. Difficulties strengthen fortitude, cultivate fearlessness, and teach that not everything in life goes smoothly;
If your child wants to attend clubs and sections, be sure to encourage such aspirations. Healthy competition will develop the necessary traits in a child, and if he feels strong support from his parents, his faith in his own victories will increase threefold;
When wondering how to help your child become a great leader, remember the meaning of this word. A leader is not someone who takes things arrogantly, “impulsively”, goes over their heads, and is famous for rudeness and authoritarianism. A leader is sociable, friendly and strong man, capable of attracting a crowd that will willingly follow his instructions.

Practical techniques

How can a child be made a leader in practice?

Consider the advice of child psychologists:

How to recognize potential leadership inclinations in a child?

If you notice that at home your baby shows his authority, and even tries to become the boss, but in the company of his peers he prefers to remain silent, know that the makings of a leader here are only indirect, and rather the baby’s tactics in communicating with you play a key role.

Perhaps the child is used to manipulating you, and you mistakenly take this for leadership. If your child is a leader in his kindergarten behaves as a true authority should, you are on the right track.

What qualities can be used to identify a leader in a child?

What to do if your child is a leader? First of all, find him something that will captivate and interest him. Give him the opportunity to realize himself in his chosen path.

And most importantly, focus on the value of your child’s guidelines, on the moral aspect of his upbringing, on his idea of morality. You are growing into a strong, independent and promising personality, capable of leading those around you. And it is extremely important where exactly.

Over the past ten to fifteen years, a lot has changed in our approach to education. Our parents were taught modesty and restraint: it was not customary to show off your talents or advertise your skills. Adults tried to instill in children these important basics of tact and delicacy. But along with political and social changes, new concepts poured into our lives: free market, competitiveness, the ability to survive in the new world. The authors of new books on education insist on the need to instill in children self-respect and high self-esteem so that they confidently lead among their peers. Yes, we ourselves understand that in our time these qualities are integral elements of success, and we sincerely want to instill them in our children. Many parents first think seriously about the issue of child leadership only when their children reach pre-teenage or even adolescence. But it all starts from birth!

The desire to lead is one of the manifestations of egocentrism with which all healthy children are born. The task of elders is to help children find a delicate balance, when self-esteem and self-respect become important components of their emotional state, but do not drown out healthy self-criticism and the desire for improvement. The makings of a leader in a child need to be cultivated from infancy - praise for successes, encouragement when encountering obstacles, support in moments of failure and show trust, allowing the child to practice new skills. Do not forget that it is at home that the child’s first and very important victories and defeats occur. His ability to convince and evoke admiration, the ability to accept defeat or bitter news with dignity are laid down and shaped by his parents. This means that parents should not only enjoy his victories with his child, but also teach him to lose without experiencing a feeling of tragic failure or shameful defeat.

Remember!

If parents dramatize every minor incident, then most likely the child will grow up anxious, lacking self-confidence, and will feel awkward as a speaker, politician or creator of works of art. Any failure of the child, true or imaginary, should be supported by an offer to try again and correct the mistake. If your baby falls while taking his first steps, it is useful to help him forget about fear and take another step. Encouragement is an act of friendliness and caring, and should not be turned into a heavy-handed order to try again now, into an insistent repetition of a parental order, into a threat. If the child is not ready for a new attempt, discreetly encourage him: “When you are ready, you will certainly be able to ride a bicycle from the garage to the entrance (throw a ball into a basket, solve an arithmetic problem).”

The building blocks of leadership—self-esteem and self-confidence—are like a beach ball. Pump too much air and it will burst. There is not enough air - he refuses to bounce off the asphalt and jump loudly along the path. If you are disappointed in your child, he will certainly feel it - and self-confidence will be undermined. Accept your child as the winner and the loser, the strong and the weak, then his chances of becoming a leader will increase many times over. Does leadership begin with competition?

Does leadership begin with competition?

There is an opinion that a leader begins with competition. “Who will eat the porridge faster”, “Who will wash the dishes more cleanly” - these games are good with peers, but not with sisters or cousins, because relationships within the family are already burdened strong feelings: jealousy, envy, hidden grievances... The loser is not scolded, they are not laughed at. Also avoid rewards for the one who “eats the porridge first” or “washes the dishes cleanest.” In this case, quite warm praise. Wise adults do not belittle the leader’s success: “Just think, he came running faster than everyone else! Great deal!”

But they don’t highlight his achievements. They explain to the leader: “It’s great that you can run faster than others. Someone can draw better, someone likes to dance, someone knows a lot of songs. Every person has brighter talents and there are things that he does with less time.” hunting."

What kind of leader is he?

A child leader is easy to recognize in a group of peers already at the age of three. For some reason, other children stick to him. He more often wins the rights to the most popular. The leader is in most cases active and cheerful. He is the leader in outdoor games, most often he offers new game and takes the most honorable role in it.

The teachers find him charming and most often give him honorary tasks - helping to set the table for dinner, erasing chalk from the blackboard. The leader is always in sight, flashes a dazzling smile and seems to be more and more aware of the charms of his popularity every day. Most often, child leaders are good at manipulating others - both peers and adults. Growing up, they become dictators of fashion in their environment: they choose what to play today, who to accept in the game, and who not to hang out with, they know how to attract other children to fulfill their goals. The energy of child leaders should be tactfully channeled into a creative direction, they should be helped to improve their best qualities and work to eradicate bad tendencies, because it is the leaders who most often turn into leaders of youth gangs or hooligan groups. Try to make your child understand: being a leader means taking responsibility not only for yourself, but also for those you follow.

Teach your child to accept criticism

It is important for a good leader to accept criticism without feeling shame or anguish. Therefore, criticism should be smart, constructive, aimed at correcting shortcomings, and not at humiliating the child’s merits. "You good comrade, you know how to share with others, you offer help to friends. I just noticed that you started raising your voice at your friends. When you learn to speak more quietly, it will be even more pleasant to play with you" - this remark that the mother made to her son as soon as she was left alone with him will be remembered and will become an important lesson. When criticizing, do not clip your children’s wings, do not disappoint them in their own abilities. Instead to dismissively say: “This is not cleaning. Look, dust is swirling in the corners,” say: “A lot has been done. The books are in place, the dirty laundry is in the basket. There is still dust left in the corners and sweep it out from under the bed - it will be simply beautiful. Every time you clean up more and more diligently. You're growing!"

When you find a mess in the kitchen, do not rush to scold your daughter: ask what she tried to cook, praise her for her independence, offer help. Maybe you can share a salad recipe or tell me how to easily remove the grease from the floor that your daughter has spilled all over the kitchen? Support her desire to be independent, while explaining that any skill requires practice. The child must learn to realistically evaluate his actions and his achievements. If a child has no hearing, there is no need to ask him to sing in front of guests and exaggeratedly praise his singing. “Overpraised” children lose their bearings, their pride develops disproportionately to their natural abilities, they expect praise from their peers, but receive clicks and ridicule. A disservice is done to children by parents who give unreasonably inflated assessments of their achievements. “Mom! I’m the only one in the class who got an A in math!” - “You are my smartest!” You cannot convince a child that he is the most dexterous if he came first in the competition. Sooner or later, the child will definitely face reality: someone will beat him in the race, someone will be stronger or smarter. The more unreasonably high a child’s self-esteem is, the more difficult it will be for him to accept failure.

A true leader...

... diligently develops his strengths, knows how to show off his talents in front of his peers and adults;
knows how to kindly make fun of his shortcomings and make the most of them. To do this, the child must learn to laugh heartily at his minor mistakes with you and not take criticism too personally. Humor in the family is the best cure for uncertainty and the other extreme - excessive self-confidence;
knows how to attract peers;
communicates confidently with mature and older people.

My child is not a leader...what's wrong with him?

Do not rush to project your own expectations and aspirations onto your child.

Each child chooses his own path. Trust nature and your child - let him develop the qualities that nature gave him. Your help is to be an example for him, to help him develop moral values to support and encourage in comprehending new things.
If nature created your child to be shy and quiet, this does not mean that she deprived him. Against! His gift is to observe, reflect, contemplate. If your child chooses a quieter or more secluded place in life, it means that he values the quiet joys of life above all else. There is nothing wrong with a child aspiring to become a librarian or a park ranger.
Every child who is able to independently decide what to do, who to be friends with, how to spend his free time, has sufficient firmness and a desire for freedom. Leadership does not mean running ahead of the locomotive. True leadership is to go your own way, attracting those whom you want to see as companions. For some, this is a crowd of admirers. For others, just one friend is enough.
If your child does not strive to be visible, always and first in everything, but wants to remain in the shadows, do not scold him, do not feel sorry for him or criticize him. Take a closer look at him, determine what gives him special pleasure. Create the conditions for your child to develop his skills to the maximum in the area in which he wants to succeed.
Every person, even in childhood, chooses what is more important to him. Some people need to be rich and famous, and for others, the greatest value is peace and time to read or admire nature.

All parents dream that their children study well, are well-mannered and polite, achieve their goals in life and become successful individuals. A person’s leadership qualities play an important role in this: independence, responsibility, confidence. But it happens that a child does not grow up the way his parents wanted him to. It should be borne in mind that the future of the baby depends on various factors, but it is the family that instills the basics of behavior. Therefore, it is important for mothers and fathers to understand how to raise a child as a leader and how this will help him in life.

Leadership concept

Leader - translated from English as “leading, showing the way.” Learning the basic concepts will help you understand how to develop a leader. Psychologists have compiled a unique portrait of a person with leadership qualities.

Important! Not everyone becomes a leader, so there is no need to impose a specific behavior on a person. It is advisable to cultivate certain qualities without imposing stereotypes. To do this, you need to know how a leader behaves in a given situation.

The behavior of a leader can be traced to the following traits:

He can lead entire teams, make them believe in themselves, and gather others around him.
Does not humiliate others, takes into account other people's desires and aspirations. To attract attention to his own person, he uses confident, competent speech, shows self-confidence, which ultimately makes him listen to such a person.
Such individuals readily take responsibility and defend their own opinions.
Leaders make plans that can lead to the realization of dreams and follow them to achieve what they want.
They are not afraid to make mistakes. They can easily take on an unfamiliar task and responsibility for it, and in case of defeat they will take it for granted, with dignity, without shifting responsibility.

How to recognize if your child is a leader

A child leader can be identified by the following characteristics:

The child does not strive to achieve his own goals by shouting and demanding, or by trying to show his peers their place. Guys who are leaders in other ways easily attract the attention of others and quickly find relationships with them. mutual language. For example, they come up with interesting games and readily accept others in them.
Children with leadership qualities do not seek to enter into conflicts and are always ready to answer for their own actions. They prefer not to demonstrate their talents, but they still attract glances and force people to pay attention to them.
Those close to you need to understand that child leaders occupy a dominant position. However, one should not confuse the qualities of such guys with dominant character traits. If a child is constantly in command in a family, but remains quiet in public, then this is simply a manifestation of ingenuity. Karapuz knows that he can only be a commander in front of his close people.
In most cases, from the very early age the leader becomes visible. Such children know how to competently plan their own day and future, and calculate several moves and developments of events at once.
Kids won't wait for their parents to give them something; they come up with their own games and know how to handle certain things.
Leaders always show their own curiosity, strive to learn something new and love to observe the children around them and analyze their behavior in different situations.

Important! Leadership skills don't always emerge in childhood, so don't panic. Mom and dad must instill them on their own and develop useful skills in the baby that will definitely come in handy in later life.

Diagnosis of leadership qualities in a child

Parents often ask, is it possible to recognize a leader in their child without resorting to the help of specialists? This can be done easily and simply using gaming techniques, since all children, without exception, love to play. Parents can communicate with them in this form; during common activities, the child will easily perceive important information or recommendations. There are certain games that help recognize a true organizer in a child and reveal his positive sides. The games are very simple, they are often played in children's institutions.

“Stand in a circle!”

An adult asks the children to organize for some kind of game. There will always be commanders who will begin to unite everyone in a circle. And then play any outdoor game: “Mousetrap”, “Third Wheel”, “Trap in a Circle” and the like, which will also provide an opportunity to reveal organizational skills.

"Let's build a figure"

The presenter asks several children to create any geometric figure, while the players must hold hands. The leader will immediately show the qualities of an organizer and begin placing the guys in certain places.

"Building a house"

The presenter invites the players to build a house from any materials located nearby and give it a certain amount of time. The leader does not immediately start building, he first begins to think about the materials and the layout of the house so that the work happens quickly and the group can finish within the designated period of time.

There are quite a lot of such entertainments; you can come up with them yourself on a variety of topics. The leader in them is recognized almost immediately, because he shows the talent of leading a team, unites the guys and involves them in the game process. Among other things, general children's entertainment is aimed at developing leadership qualities in children.

Leaders at school

Every child needs to develop leadership skills, as they are important for proper communication and success in life. Everyone without exception wants to be the first, and this applies not only to children, but also to adults and accomplished individuals. There are also driven people who are indifferent to everything, but secretly they also dream of becoming the head of the team. At school, students already clearly gravitate towards leadership and independence, because at this age they already quite consciously perceive the world. Despite the fact that teachers should know their students well, they may mistakenly identify the leader in the classroom for various reasons:

Adults think that if a student is the head of the class, then he remains a leader in life. Quite often, a situation occurs when some children are appointed as prefects and class commanders, and completely different children manage the class.
It is not always taken into account that in order to become a leader in the class, a student must have organizational skills. Such guys are always ready to take responsibility; they already have primary school developed will and desire for success. They are respected by everyone without exception and strive to listen to their opinions, even sometimes they are afraid.
It is important for a leader to receive support not only from school friends, but also from adults: parents, teachers. Recognition from elders is an additional incentive for the development of strong personality traits.
Teachers try to unite children, meanwhile, at school, children prefer to split into some groups, which have their own organizer. It is necessary to identify a common leader who is capable of commanding all groups. It is this person who becomes the main one in the class. He is able to influence the opinion of the entire team.

What you need to know about the negative consequences of leadership

Psychologists warn parents that leadership is not only positive traits personality, but also Negative consequences. This must be taken into account before teaching a child to be a leader:

For example, you should understand that the leader in the class constantly feels tension and finds it difficult to relax. He may feel fear, be afraid of slipping up and doing the wrong thing, because even a small mistake can instantly deprive him of his status and make him an outcast from school society.
Adults should realize that being a leader is difficult, so they need to provide support to ensure the student's peace of mind and success. For example, it should be explained that there is no need to depend on other people’s opinions; you should not be afraid to express your own position. Relatives and friends will definitely support the child in any situation.
If all the girls and boys in the class want to be friends with a student, then that’s great, because such individuals have the ability to communicate. It is this behavior that allows you to gain authority in the school and win over the team.

Important! If a schoolchild is accustomed to universal adoration, then he is afraid of losing it, forgets about own desires and aspirations, constantly trying to win favor. Parents should explain to their son or daughter that it is impossible to remain good to everyone.

It is known that it is difficult for a person to achieve success in life if he does not have the makings of a leader, and he is not able to influence others. Some adults are sure that when they have such inclinations, they don’t need to do anything. Psychologists warn such mothers and fathers that as the child grows older, he may completely change his behavior, forget about leadership qualities and stop using them. Therefore, parents need to constantly engage in their development, provide support and teach them to take their first steps as early as possible.

In order for a student to subsequently become a leader, loved ones must instill qualities with childhood. You can play, read and communicate with your baby, and also listen to psychologists’ recommendations on how to cultivate leadership qualities in a child:

You should respect the opinion of your own child, communicate with him as much as possible, take an interest in his life and hobbies. During conversations, it is important for adults to express their own opinion on a certain issue and find out the child’s opinion. You can talk about animated films and theater, heroes of fairy tales, and the child will gradually learn to explain why he thinks one way or another. You can argue with older children about the correctness of the decision; it is important to teach them to defend their own opinion.
It is recommended to develop the children's ability to perform. It is advisable to provide the opportunity to participate in competitions, stage performances for loved ones, so that the child stops being shy and prepares to demonstrate his talents to a large audience.
It is useful for parents to play an interesting game with their child. You should take familiar photographs, put them in a drawer and pull them out one at a time. Then offer to describe the image, the person’s appearance, his profession and hobbies, character, but it is important to do this only in the first person, as if a child were talking about himself. At the same time, the baby will expand his vocabulary, learn to identify the advantages and disadvantages of others, and praise them. When telling a story, the child will take on all the positive qualities, and in later life he will be able to skillfully create his own presentations.
You can play in an art gallery with your child and invite him to describe the pictures. Let the child feel like a tour guide, a guide to the world of magnificent art.
Parents should make sure that their child develops an interesting hobby that he will enjoy. It is a hobby that can enrich the inner world and show a person’s hidden talents. Professional classes will allow your child to become disciplined and purposeful.
The child should be involved in communication with adults, first let it be his relatives or the parents themselves. Then engage in conversation with strangers: a salesperson in a toy store, in a library with a librarian, in a hospital with a doctor. You need to teach him politeness, show him something by example, maintain a conversation and talk about topics that are accepted in society.
Parents should explain to their child that everyone can have defeats in life, so you need to be able to accept them with dignity. If your child was playing a game and something didn’t work out, then you shouldn’t shout, but start the game over again. It is advisable to explain that many people don’t succeed the first time, the main thing is to practice and strive to achieve what you want, then everything will definitely work out. It is necessary to praise the baby, this will develop perseverance and patience.
Parents should definitely teach their child to play lotto, chess, checkers or other games that involve competition. It is necessary for the child to realize that defeat is not as terrible as it seems to him. The main thing is to try again.
It is recommended to create a varied leisure time for the child, because the more he sees, the more he will know. If a child’s imagination and intellect are developed, he will be able to easily strike up a conversation even with strangers and gain the favor of society. You need to read books, go to classes, go out into nature, and most importantly, constantly be active.
Setting goals helps you achieve them. You can start small, for example, strive to go to study in another country. To do this, you will have to learn a foreign language, improve your grades at school, take special courses and do something else to achieve your dream. The child will strive to bring the idea to life, and also understand that to achieve the goal it is necessary to go through several stages.
It is necessary to develop in the child responsibility for his actions.
Initiative is also an important quality for a leader.
The child must be given more independence in planning his actions and making decisions. Control is necessary, but it should not be an orderly tone and unquestioning obedience (it leads to the opposite, the child gets used to being led), it is necessary to guide children and help them make decisions with the help of advice or give several options to think about so that the child himself comes to his own decision or choice.

Important! The qualities of a leader will definitely be useful in later life; they allow you to achieve success in study and communication, family and friendship. Children who feel supported by their parents develop self-confidence from early childhood and are ready for new aspirations.

Dear parents! It is important that the child realizes that the family will definitely protect him if necessary. Naturally, you shouldn’t prevent the blows of fate and protect your child from them, because everyone should learn from their own mistakes. However, in times of trouble and disaster, the child must understand that he can rely on his family; they will always provide support in difficult times. Only then will he be ready to act and not be afraid of defeat. Your task is to raise your child correctly if you want to see him as a leader!

Last advice from psychologists : when looking for ways to help a child become a leader, there is no need to be petty and track all the child’s steps. The main thing is to pay as much attention as possible to your child’s communication, study him, become a mentor and friend, then in the future the child will be able to achieve a lot and thank his parents for proper upbringing.

The world places quite stringent demands on today's children - the education and upbringing systems have set a high standard for mental, mental, physical development for kindergarteners and schoolchildren. The child’s environment is replete with talented, gifted peers. Opportunities for growth, broadening your horizons, and gaining new experience are growing every year. It seems that the “middle peasants” in modern world They will be completely unadapted to life, uncompetitive, lost, and will not gain recognition, success, self-esteem and self-confidence.

Parents are increasingly asking the question: how can they raise a leader in a child—especially a boy?
Can leadership qualities really be instilled, developed, and nurtured even in the most timid children?
What should you do for this?

The makings of a leader appear in some children as early as the age of three. All parents and teachers need to do is give a little push, guide the child, and teach them how to properly use their authority among friends. Is it worth working in this direction if the baby is shy? Yes - perhaps in the future such a child will not lead the crowd, but he will learn to listen and hear himself, make responsible decisions, and defend his boundaries.

Parents do not always have a clear idea of how leadership qualities are manifested and confuse them with whims, aggression, and intolerance. A three-year-old yelling at his playmate that she must be an evil princess, otherwise he will kick her out of the company, cannot be called a leader, any more than a teenager who keeps an excellent student at bay so that he does his homework instead of him.

Leader Traits

What features of a child’s character and behavior indicate the presence of leadership inclinations?

A child has a hobby, passion, business that can capture his close attention for a long time.
If something doesn’t work out, the baby does not rush to get upset and complain, but tries to solve the problem again and again.
Contact, communication skills, including with strangers.
Interest in family matters.
The ability to become passionate about something that at first glance seems boring, uninteresting, or useless.
Friendliness, kindness - the baby is not prone to resentment, envy, or quarrels.
The inexplicable ability to attract other children - the child leader is always at the center of the game.
Ability to plan and calculate different variants, choose the best one.
Activity, cheerfulness, the ability to “resolve” other people’s conflicts, to stand up for those who are offended.
Common sense - children with the makings of a leader know how to negotiate, compromise, and argue their position.
Adaptability, flexibility.
The desire to be first everywhere and always, to win.

The trust of educators, teachers and peers, responsibility, charm, charisma are signs of a real, worthy leader. Such children lead without pressure or coercion; they know how to convince, captivate, explain, agree with the opinion of another, provide support, and organize. Being an authority for friends, they often become the initiators of “rescue operations” if someone needs help.

The coin of leadership has a flip side - arrogance and narcissism. To avoid this, the child needs to be gently guided into the direction of creation, focusing on his best qualities, instill and maintain a sense of responsibility for himself and those he leads.

A true leader knows his strengths and is happy to demonstrate them to the public. He reaches out to older children and adults and skillfully maintains communication with them.

Raising a leader in the family

When thinking about how to raise a leader, mom and dad most often move to the side special techniques, complex psychological techniques, forgetting that the basis of the foundations is communication, one’s own example and trust. Parents raise their offspring simply by being around them every day, demonstrating certain behavior patterns. By observing significant adults, the baby learns their values, views, principles, and methods of action in various situations. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to pay attention to quality own life and interactions within the family.

Psychologists explain how to cultivate leadership qualities in a child without doing anything special:

Watch your speech

Offensive phrases and words spoken in the heat of the moment, out of fatigue or automatically, hurt children and program them for failure. “What a dirty little thing you are”, “Why are you always digging around”, “Be quiet and do what you’re told.” Nicknames that demean a child’s personality: fool, slob, roaring cow, coward. All these words sink deep into the soul and trample the path to complexes, inability to take care of oneself and communicate with other people.

Be a support for your child, say good things to him, good words, concentrate on its advantages. Eliminate teasing, name-calling, and labeling.

The speech of parents must be clean, competent, correct, understandable - the child’s speech will be the same, and this is very important for a leader, because a leader is always partly an orator.

More attention

Self-confidence, desire to explore the world, the courage to dare are the constant companions of “loved” children. If for very little children love is expressed in constant contact with their mother, then preschoolers and schoolchildren need conversations, discussions, and reflections. Create family rituals:

a book with mom at night;
discussing how the day went after dinner;
morning exercises with dad;
family dinner at Grandma's on the weekend;
joint cooking, cleaning.

Any Team work– an opportunity to communicate, discuss some event, just chat about nothing.

the freedom of action

It is impossible to raise a child to be a leader if you do not allow him to try and make mistakes. Overprotection kills initiative, the desire to develop, think, and do. Allow a one-year-old to continue trying to climb up a steep flight of stairs, a three-year-old to pour water and get dressed, a five-year-old to resolve a conflict with a peer, a schoolchild to negotiate with the teacher about extra classes.

When choosing sections and clubs, be guided by the wishes of the child; let him start, quit and try something else. So the little man will learn to analyze and choose.

Provide choice in problem solving. Parents tend to give their children ready-made solutions at the first request. Try changing the scenario - give the initiative to your son or daughter. The child will learn to listen to himself, trust himself, and realize that he has real influence.

Support

Positive motivation is a way to push a child to new achievements. Instead of scolding for failure, offer encouragement: “Yes, speaking in public is really scary. You must have been upset that you couldn’t recite the verse.” The child will understand that mistakes and failures are an inevitable part of the journey, and with each attempt the likelihood of victory increases. It is impossible to make a child a leader without teaching him to treat his defeats with dignity.

Support – first of all, accept the baby’s feelings and experiences. The correct message from your parents is that I see your condition, I understand it, I will help you cope. Teach children to express their emotions with an eye on those around them: you are angry, this is normal, but you cannot slam doors out of anger, instead you can tear paper or scream into a pillow.

Wide circle of friends

The little leader needs an audience. Go on a visit, invite guests to your place, visit public events, walk in large areas. Expand your usual circle of contacts - in addition to kindergarten or school, enroll your child in a team sport, a theater club, or another section that involves interaction in a group.

Responsibility

Nurture in your child the ability to be responsible for his words and actions. Show and explain how to make choices that do not affect other people's interests. Pay attention to the consequences of certain actions, learn to see the relationship between your own behavior and the reaction to it from family and friends. Instill the right values: honesty, respect for others, the ability to respect other people's boundaries, empathy.

Responsibility comes with responsibilities. Involve your child in doing household chores. The house is shared, and all family members make efforts to keep it clean and tidy. Agree what your son or daughter is responsible for, when the work should be done, who checks the quality of work and when. Gradually, the control stage can be eliminated.

Healthy criticism and praise

The ability to take criticism plays an important role in the development of a child's leadership qualities. The task of parents is to gently point out their children’s shortcomings, push him to move on, continue trying, and look for new ways to solve problems. Celebrate what is done well and encourage you to do even better. “I see that all the toys are in their places, the clothes are neatly in the drawers, the markers are in the box. Only dust remained on the tables. Looks like I'll need a rag and five more minutes."

Modern psychologists say that you also need to praise wisely. Children stop accepting praise when they hear constant patterns for all their achievements: “Well done!”, “How beautiful!”, “You are the best!”. In order for a child to gain a true understanding of his worth, it is enough to change the strategy a little. Describe what you see - “Oh, I see you drew two red spots here, one blue, a lot of green lines and even a yellow squiggle. How did you come up with that?!”, “I see that the dishes have been washed, the crumbs have been cleared from the table, the floor is clean. Everything is as I asked. This is what I call responsibility!” After some time, the child himself will begin to realize his victories, see his strengths and recognize his own merits.

Partnership instead of competition

Parents sometimes have a distorted understanding of how to raise a leader - they are encouraged to cultivate a spirit of competition in their child with mom, dad, brothers and sisters. A family is, first of all, a partnership in which there is a strictly defined hierarchy. Parents set boundaries, norms of acceptable behavior, and are the authority that has the final say. Brothers and sisters are equally valuable members of the family, their privileges are in no way affected by which of them draws better, who ate first or got dressed. Stop rivalry between children, encourage attempts to get closer, act together, and support each other.

Games to identify and develop leadership

Question: “How to raise a leader in a child?” - boy or girl, has another simple answer: play. Organize the next few games that will clearly demonstrate how developed your children's leadership abilities are and what to pay attention to.

Play activities clearly show which of the children have obvious leadership talents.

What if he is not a leader?..

Children are different, and often parental expectations - or rather, ambitions - are not met. What if your baby, despite your efforts, continues to remain shy, withdrawn and modest?

Focus on the positive aspects of your child and love him that way. Let your child do what interests him, encourage him, believe in him. There is no need to be ashamed of a child who avoids everyone's attention. Perhaps your quiet, calm contemplator will become an outstanding inventor. In any case, breaking the core of a person, even a small one, is a dubious pleasure, which, moreover, will not bring happiness to either the parents or the child. Support your son or daughter in their endeavors, desires, and initiatives. Teach to listen to yourself, make decisions on your own, value friendship, loyalty, and decency.

Being a leader does not always mean being first among others. A true leader is one who is able to follow his heart, choose his path, choose goals, go towards them, maintaining his comfort, surrounding himself with people whom he wants to see around.

Alena is a regular expert on the PupsFull portal. She writes articles about psychology, education and learning and games for children.

Articles written

Many parents ask the question “how to develop leadership qualities in their child?”, but this does not mean that they only see big bosses in their children in the future. It’s just that the realities of modern life require any person to have those very character traits that were previously always considered the prerogative of only a select few. Guys living in a fast-paced world today simply need to be a little bit of a leader. That’s why moms and dads try to form leadership inclinations even in those children who initially may not have them at all, but over time, with proper education, become more self-confident, more active, and more authoritative among their peers. And this will come in handy for them in their future adult life.

Leadership then and now

Over the past few decades, attitudes towards raising the younger generation have radically changed. Our mothers and fathers were brought up in modesty and severity: flaunting their achievements was considered bad form. At the same time, altruism, a sense of tact, and politeness were instilled in children.

But the changes that have occurred in politics and society have overturned all previous ideas about life values. Gradually, the concepts of career, market, competition, adaptation to change, taking initiative, and stress resistance began to enter our everyday life.

Psychologists and teachers constantly insist that children need to be instilled with self-esteem and self-confidence almost from the cradle - this will help them become real leaders.

We all realize that in the modern world such qualities are simply necessary, which is why we set ourselves such an educational task. Often, parents begin to understand the essence of the problem of children's leadership when the child has already become quite an adult. But it all starts from childhood.

Already a three-year-old baby is quite clearly showing leadership qualities. It is to him that other guys are drawn, they share the most the best toys and sweets with him. As a rule, the child leader decides what game everyone will play, distributes the roles, and usually acts as the leader.

He is loved not only by his peers, but also by adults. At school and in kindergarten, such children are given the most responsible assignments, they are set as an example for other children.

Why does a child exhibit such qualities? Why does everyone respect him, although he himself still knows and knows little? The fact is that egocentrism is inherent in everyone from birth, and leadership qualities are one of its healthy manifestations.

Parents must build an approach to education so that children can find a middle ground between self-esteem and self-esteem on the one hand, and self-criticism and self-improvement on the other.

Leader (from the English leader) - leading, first, going ahead) - a person (subject) in a group (organization) who enjoys great, recognized authority and has influence, which manifests itself as control actions

A true leader constantly improves his skills and abilities, and is also quite capable of demonstrating them in front of children of his age and parents.
He can always laugh if he has made a mistake, and, moreover, will draw a conclusion for himself. Humor can help relieve insecurities or high self-esteem.
A leader always leads the team. He is a sociable person, able to communicate with people of any age.
He always stands out from the crowd, his authority extends to more and more people, and he knows how to use it.
A child leader will always achieve his goals. As such a kid gets older, he sets the mood in the team.

Parents should help such children direct their energy in the right direction so that they can correctly perceive reality. After all, they can grow into both positive leaders and leaders with negative potential. The task of adults is to teach the child responsibility not only towards himself, but also towards everyone around him.

Subtleties of nurturing leadership qualities in a child

So, the leader is independent, believes in himself, and has self-respect. The combination of these features can be compared to balloon: if you overpump it, it will burst, if you don’t pump it enough, it will be small and inconspicuous.

A child always feels when his parents are disappointed in him, and this always upsets him greatly. Accept him as he is.

Even if something doesn’t work out for him the first time, even if he’s not always good mood and so on. Then your chance to develop leadership qualities in him will increase significantly. Maybe this is how they begin to educate future big bosses?

Self-esteem

It is always the result of influence external factors and changes from year to year. Many systems have been developed to help form a stable positive self-esteem in a child. Low or high self-esteem always interferes with a rational approach to certain issues.

What should adequate self-esteem be? It should not cause a feeling of uncertainty and stress when making decisions and be subject to ups and downs.

In essence, this is a vision of one’s position that not only gives the right to make mistakes, but can also help in solving problematic issues, and also does not allow the development of excessive self-confidence. Only in a family where mutual respect and understanding reigns can a child grow up with optimal self-esteem.

Leadership involves a combination of various qualities

Family communication

How to communicate correctly with a child in order to instill in him respect for himself and his environment, leadership qualities and adequate self-esteem? From the first days of life, a child is a person, so he requires due attention and respect.

Learn to understand his needs. Never ignore his attempts to communicate and show emotions, even if they are not always positive.

If the child’s opinion is important to parents, then in the future he will learn how to properly build relationships with others. Only unconditional love parents will help him position himself correctly in society.

Criticism

In no case should a small personality be criticized or compared with someone, even if sometimes this task seems quite difficult. Each phrase leaves an imprint on the child’s soul, and in the future his self-criticism and self-doubt will only intensify.

Therefore, parents should not give in to their emotions and express everything to the baby at the first opportunity. If a child has done something wrong, instead of punishing him, offer him to correct what he did.

Prohibitions and restrictions

A leader is a person who follows important rules, and not to whom everything is possible. If you allow your child everything he wants, confidence will not increase.

Restrictions are being introduced gradually. At first, prohibitions are associated with danger to life and health, and with age they become more numerous.

Trust and assign tasks to be completed

It is important to be able to trust children and entrust them with various tasks. This is what builds leadership qualities.

So that in the future your child does not experience communication difficulties, let him help you. When you give him simple tasks, you teach him to be sociable and develop self-confidence.

Insults and ridicule

Often, adults are unhappy due to mental trauma suffered in childhood. The child must certainly be praised, and under no circumstances should one talk publicly about his failures and mistakes.

Sometimes insults and ridicule of a child become the reason for refusal to do something.

Give your child freedom

Leading experts in the field of child psychology and pedagogy recommend that parents give their children freedom of choice and decision-making. Let the child independently choose clothes to wear for a walk, toys, dishes to eat from, pictures on notebooks, etc.

Games

Children learn about the surrounding reality and adapt to it through play. Psychologists have long used this feature of children for their most effective development and correction of many behavioral disorders.

Leadership qualities can also be instilled by playing with children not only in specially designed games, but also in any intellectual and sports, individual and team games and relay races.

You can organize talent and craft competitions, fairs, theatrical performances, etc. Any type of activity where a child can express himself is suitable.

Participation in such events increases self-esteem, strengthens self-confidence, and allows you to adequately perceive your achievements against the background of the achievements of other children.

Praise

You need to know moderation in everything, including in matters of praising small children. Try to objectively evaluate your child’s achievements, because sooner or later he will face public opinion.

During periods of mental crisis, children often experience a heightened sense of self. If your child is overly critical of himself and his actions, you should contact child psychologist, which will help you choose the right corrective methods of education.

The main thing is experience

Often, parents do not want to see their child upset, offended, and unhappy, so they overprotect him. Moreover, his every action is under control.

But you can learn something only through gaining experience, perhaps not always positive.

Is the game worth the candle?

Leader traits can be laid down and developed in a child from childhood. But in no case will they be characteristic of a very small toddler.

For example, communication skills and high reaction speed are initially inherent in the qualitative features of the central nervous system. But through education, parents must direct the child’s development in the right direction.

According to statistics, no more than 5% of the world's population have leadership qualities. This suggests that if you forcefully and too actively impose a certain model of behavior on your child, if he has no inclinations for it, then this will not give you any pleasure, and your child will become more withdrawn.

If you place very high demands on your child, this will cause him to develop self-doubt, irritability, and an inferiority complex.

Therefore, before you begin to develop leadership qualities in your child, consult with your family and competent specialists - teachers, child psychologists.

Perhaps you shouldn’t set yourself such a goal: “to mold” a leader out of a child and thereby put pressure on the child? Undoubtedly, certain qualities will be useful to him in Everyday life, in more or less degree. But! If he is a born leader, then he will definitely become one. If your child is not destined to become the head of a huge enterprise or occupy high-ranking positions, you, of course, can also develop leadership qualities in him: slowly and unobtrusively. This is the only way he will feel needed and happy. And he will definitely become what he wants in life...

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