How to raise sons? How to raise your son to be a real man? How to cultivate masculine qualities Teach to be a good friend.

A long-awaited boy has appeared in the family, and you are sure that in the future a strong, reliable shoulder will appear next to you, and women, looking at your son, will not complain that real men have disappeared somewhere. What should you do when raising a boy to be a man?

Of course, there are no 100% recipes for educating the present, but there are certainly certain vectors.

Man of dreams

Most women value in men strength, courage, responsibility, care and generosity, the ability to provide and protect their family, and solve problems on their own. Let's consider possible reasons formation of “unmasculine” qualities in a boy.

Reasons for “unmasculine” behavior

1. There is no good example before your eyes. This applies not only to single-parent families, but also to families in which the father is not a role model: the child does not see and does not know how a worthy man manifests himself, how he is demanding of himself and generous towards the weak - in the child There is simply no example before my eyes.

This can be fixed. You can involve your grandfather, uncle, brother in your upbringing - those who are interested in developing the masculine qualities of your boy. Even if this communication is not too frequent, the main thing is that it is of high quality. You can also find a sensitive coach or teacher in the area in which the boy has an inclination.

2. No independence and responsibility. Often mothers worry too much about their boys (or about themselves and public opinion), depriving them of independence: “Don’t run, you’ll fall”; “Don’t touch it, you’ll get dirty.” Such upbringing gives a sad result: as he grows up, your son will give in to any problems.

Men who don't know how to solve problems and who are afraid to get their hands dirty and work hard when faced with difficulties often find solace at the bottom of a bottle.

An adult must adequately assess the situation, see the difference between the process of development and self-affirmation and obviously dangerous behavior, learn to cope with difficulties and not be afraid of them. To do this, mothers themselves should work with their anxiety and give their child adequate feedback. For example, stop gasping and screaming when the baby falls. If it’s hard to resist shouting, exclaim with a smile: “Hurray! Let’s get up!”, making it clear that the baby has gained experience - it’s okay, you can continue. My father, when his grandson fell, exclaimed: “What did you find? Give me!" It's a joke, of course, but it contains philosophical meaning: the kid really found it and gained experience.

An environment of controlled difficulty should also be created with early age. So that the boy can climb, run, and jump.

Responsibility and independence are an opportunity to prove yourself and be useful, to make an effort and get results. This is an opportunity to cope yourself and help others.

3. Lack of trust. Mothers often don’t trust boys because they will do things carelessly, incorrectly, and not very well. There is no need to rush to help the boys. There is nothing terrible in the fact that he puffs for a while - only benefit. It may be difficult, but he will climb the ladder on the playground; he may spend more time, but he will learn to tie his shoelaces, and so on. Let him make his own decision and deal with the consequences.

Let him have responsibilities: make his own bed, take out the trash, wash his own socks. If this is encouraged, the kids will happily help their mother, unless she discourages her with her desire to rush to help, fix everything and do the best.

Another very important principle in raising boys is that the boundaries are wide but firm. This means that you should not pull back on small things, but the rules are unshakable. It is important for boys, like adult men, to know clear rules, within which there is freedom. That is, everything that is not prohibited is permitted. Believe in your little man and, most importantly, know how to let go in time. Letting go more and more, in order to eventually let go completely. Let go into adulthood...

Do no harm!

Let’s say a boy has a dad, an uncle, a teacher or a coach, but some of them are eager to fight and begin headlong to “make a real man” out of a child, mistakenly confusing masculinity with rudeness, and firmness with cruelty. The result of such “pseudo-masculinity” is emotional disorders, deviations and even addictions, rejection of the masculine principle in oneself as something bad or, on the contrary, following a bad example.

It happens that a mother, thinking that the child needs a “courageous” upbringing, sends her son to a martial arts section or something similar, but the boy is musical or artistically gifted. The result of this can also be either the boy’s rejection of the masculine principle in himself as alien, or he will unconsciously feel like an outcast, a stranger in the world of men. Such injuries do not lead to anything good.

In this case, you need to listen to the child and select a talented teacher - an artist, musician, dancer, who will not only support and develop the boy’s talent, but will also cultivate in him that same exactingness towards himself, the will to win, work for results, hard work, perseverance and responsibility.

Mom should also be able to respect male dignity and not humiliate both adult men and the child with offensive remarks and nitpicking over trifles. The boy must witness the respectful attitude of people towards each other.

Parents will have to work hard. This is not an easy task at all, it requires a lot of love, patience and knowledge. But this is the main responsibility of all parents! Most simply do not know how to raise their sons so that they grow up to be successful independent men.

Parents need to start deciding the question of how to raise their sons with themselves. From a very young age, a child remembers the speech spoken by his close people. The baby absorbs everything like a sponge, even when he himself does not yet know how to speak. But if he correctly masters speech, he will subsequently eliminate the need to visit a speech therapist.

Extremely great maternal love for children is already bad! How to raise sons so that they do not turn into complete egoists? What children need most is not care, but freedom, and boys first of all. Let the kids explore the world themselves, take apart toys - this is inevitable. That's how kids are made - they break everything and study what's inside. Therefore, boys should always have educational toys - construction sets and other things that can be disassembled and assembled as they please. Often boys collect things that are not intended by the manufacturer, experiment, and this expresses their creativity and search for meaning.

How to raise sons so that they are not afraid of anything?

If children are afraid of something - all sorts of "babaykas", ghosts or the neighbor's grandmother, raise their self-esteem and tell them that even though they are small, they are men. They should not be afraid of anything or anyone, be brave and strong. Let the child feel like an individual, an adult, even if he is still small.

Child's responsibilities

Don't treat your son like an unintelligent child! Like a real man when he has grown up and is already on the threshold of school? Most of all, children want to become adults as soon as possible! So start treating your child as an equal, this will only add to his confidence in his own abilities.

As they grow older, it is imperative that the child be involved in household responsibilities. It is not recommended to encourage him with money or gifts. All the son should hear for doing his homework is only words of gratitude. This is one of his first responsibilities, and let him get used to the fact that someday he will create his own family, which he will need to take care of. This helps in deciding how to raise a son to be a man. You should definitely be proud of your child’s achievements and support him in everything he does: be it drawing, modeling, singing or sports.

TV in children's lives

Don't let your child sit near the TV for hours watching foreign films. From an early age, control the programs your baby watches. Choose instructive, kind and fabulous cartoons. Afterwards, be sure to take time to discuss what you liked, who main character and why he did what he did. Condemn the characters' negative actions, praise the good ones, and make sure your son understands which actions and why are bad and which are

Physical education

How to raise your son to be a real man through sports from an early age? You should start doing morning exercises, preferably together. Taking care of your own body and keeping it clean is a very important responsibility of every person. Buy dumbbells for your child, taking into account his physical characteristics. As you age, you should add weight. Physical exercises will certainly develop the boy’s muscles, make the body strong and strong and create the correct male trapezoidal shape, which girls will later really like. It is recommended to send your child to some sport sections, for example, martial arts - this will definitely come in handy in life for self-defense. In addition to excellent physical training, this sport also develops a person’s worldview.

Attitude towards the opposite sex

How can a mother raise her son so that he respects and loves girls? You should tell him that all girls are future mothers and wives, so they need to be taken care of, protected and loved. Instill understanding in family values recommended from an early age. The boy must grow up understanding that he is a protector and helper. Explain to your son that it is strictly forbidden to hit girls, even if they are bullies. Let him learn not to get involved in quarrels with girls, but rather step aside or let off steam through physical exercise.

Learn to be a good friend

How to raise your son to be a man and a great friend? We need to encourage communication with stronger and more successful guys, and set them as an example. It is necessary to instill from childhood the idea that true male friendship should be valued. A son should respect his friends from an early age and never leave them in trouble.

What else should you pay attention to?

Teach your son to be tidy, teach him not to throw clothes around, and to put his personal belongings and toys in his place. Be sure to praise for efforts shown in maintaining order. Let him join this type of work for himself and his family. You can punish him for the mess in his room.

How to raise your son to be a real man? It's worth the effort. Nobody says it's easy. Discuss a suitable daily routine and strictly adhere to it: what time to get up and go to bed, where to go, when to rest. Allow indulgences only on weekends and when the baby is sick. But if you forbid something, don’t behave like that yourself, otherwise he may later refer to you.

Teach your boy how to navigate in your city, among the houses of your area - this will help him when he is alone on the street. Teach your child to navigate nature. Find time, go into the forest with him and explain what signs he needs to pay attention to so as not to get lost and find his way home. Let the boy show independence and make decisions, you just need to monitor the progress of his actions and help if necessary.

Be sure to talk with your son about the family budget. A child must learn from childhood that not everything is allowed, whatever he pleases. The boy should be told from what income the family budget is formed, how much is required per month for food, how much is set aside for large purchases and entertainment. He has the right to know his share of expenses in the overall budget. Encourage him to be independent in his desire to earn his pocket money.

Why does a boy need a father?

A father also needs to know how to raise a son. It’s great if dad tells his son about the heroism of his family’s ancestors and explains to what and to whom people owe their birth, what our grandfathers fought for.

The father must certainly encourage the independence of his child, accustom him to the idea that the boy should be able to live with dignity in this complex world. The child needs to be prepared for any unexpected shocks. Also in preschool age the boy must know who he is, his first and last name, when he was born, where he lives, and the address details of his closest relatives, such as grandparents. Be sure to remember your parents' full names and phone numbers. Know where your parents work and who they work for, and how to get to their place of work on your own. It is recommended to teach your child how to behave in an unfamiliar place and in cases where he suddenly gets lost. The actions of parents and son must be clearly coordinated.

From his mother, the boy learns to feel sorry and sympathize with other people, to perceive the world like a safe place. From her the baby receives love, care and affection. Mother intuitively knows how to raise good son. In the company of his father, the boy begins to realize that he belongs to the male sex and acquires the necessary skills. Looking at his father, the son learns to obey and command, achieve his goal, show concern for others, and be responsible. Of course, the father needs to show this with specific actions, then the boy will acquire personality traits that he would like to see later in an adult man. Without a dad, it’s difficult for a baby to learn male norms behavior. Adult men who were raised by a single mother are sometimes passive and uninitiative or too conflict-ridden. Living in their own family, taking care of it, and making friends with other men is more difficult for them than for those guys who were raised in a complete family.

If mom is alone

How to raise a son to be a man if there is no father? Unfortunately, this situation is not uncommon. If everything is done with love and competently, then the mother will definitely cope! It is not advisable to address a boy using childish names. You need to treat your son like an adult. This instills in him courage and correct character.

How to raise a son alone if the child does not have a role model before his eyes?

• It is necessary for the boy to sometimes see examples male behavior. Therefore, try to encourage him to communicate with male acquaintances: grandfather, uncle, family friend, coach, colleague or neighbor. Let the child spend as much free time as possible with them: go fishing, play football, tinker with parts in the garage. During these classes, the boy will become acquainted with the world of male interests. For him it is a necessity.
• To prevent a boy from growing up to be overly feminine, one should constantly emphasize the good traits of masculine behavior in him. For example, when watching a movie, pay attention to the positive actions of the stronger sex.
• Be sure to celebrate and praise the “manly actions” your son has performed! For example, a child nailed a shelf, fixed something, or helped a neighbor’s grandmother carry packages. Try to loudly admire your son: “How strong you are! a real man!" In response, you will see how the boy will swell with pride.

If the natural father is present in the child’s life, then their communication should not be limited. Also, you should not say angry and hurtful words to your son about his dad. And if there is no father, how to raise a son without a father?

It happens that single mothers give up on their personal lives and devote themselves entirely to raising their child. They don’t go out anywhere, they are not interested in communicating with anyone, they just live in their own closed little world, where there are only mother and baby. This should not be allowed! You definitely need to find the strength to go to the theater, to the pool, to an exhibition, or to take up an unusual hobby. Then the child will also be interested in communicating with his mother and spending time together.

All psychologists advise: never try to convince your son that he owes everything in this world only to his mother. Boys with such an upbringing usually either get married too late or don’t start their own family at all, since they were “programmed” from childhood that they don’t need anyone except their mother.

Of course, it is quite difficult for single mothers to find a middle ground in raising their beloved little boy. I want not to spoil my son too much and at the same time not to distance myself from him. You should definitely try to become a friend for your child who is sincerely interested in his problems and successes, in all the events in his life.

We need to remember the most important thing: a child, first of all, needs the love and care of his closest people. He must be sure: even if everyone turns away from him, there will still be one person on Earth who will accept him for who he is - this is his mother!