Important rules of etiquette. A set of strict rules of etiquette or laws of behavior in society Rules of good manners

Etiquette is changing, as society itself is changing. In the mid-50s for festive table It was considered normal to talk about illnesses and complain about spouses, but now such conversations are considered bad form. And the gender distinction of modern etiquette is being erased. Thanks to feminism, by the way. For example, previously men were required to give up their seats on public transport to all women. According to the new rules of etiquette, seats can be given to pregnant, elderly and sick people. And in Europe, they generally give up their place only when the person standing asks for it. And any initiative can be perceived as an insult. They gave in - do I look that bad?

Also, according to the old rules, a man was obliged to open doors for a woman and let her go forward. Now the door is opened by the one who goes ahead or who is stronger if the door is heavy. No matter what gender you are, please hold doors for people with limited mobility, and if this service was provided to you, be sure to thank them.

Let's go over the basic rules of etiquette that we encounter every day.

Cinema, concert, theater

It is not recommended to be late. But you can leave early, and it is advisable to do this during intermission. You should dress at your own discretion, but if we are talking about the theater - a little more elegantly than usual. If only one person bought tickets for the company, be sure to return the money to him. If you bought the tickets, don’t hesitate to ask: “Who hasn’t paid for the tickets yet?”

Going to visit

Etiquette does not advise being late and bringing someone without the consent of the owner/hostess of the house. You should not smoke without asking permission. You should treat furniture and other property with respect (for example, do not place a wet glass or hot cup on a wooden surface if you are used to doing this at home).

Restaurant/cafe

There is no need to force someone who doesn't want to drink. If they ask you, be adamant. You are not obligated to explain anything; in extreme cases, say that you are “driving” or “the doctor forbade it.”

It is considered bad manners to pester staff, even without bad intentions. A restaurant employee, in response to your flirting, useless questions and aggression, will not be able to give you a proper answer, otherwise he will be fired, and therefore will smile a forced smile and experience psychological stress.

If you were miscalculated, do not raise a scandal. Especially if you want to please your business partner or girlfriend. Call the waiter and calmly hint to make the bill more precisely. You can even indicate what you need to pay attention to.

How to distribute expenses in big company? If all the guests are approximately equally financially secure, eat approximately equally, or the company regularly organizes joint dinners, it would be quite acceptable and correct to divide all expenses equally. If your company is diverse financially and tastefully, it is worth agreeing on separate accounts in advance. You can choose a person in charge who, after studying the account, will roughly estimate everyone’s expenses and collect money from everyone. Or the second option - he will pay for everyone and collect money from the guests outside the cafe/restaurant.

Other events

Once you receive an invitation, study it carefully. Please pay attention to the dress code and how you will be notified of your participation. Be sure to check whether you are invited alone or with your spouse. Some people mistakenly believe that if one person is named on the invitation, the spouse is automatically invited. This is fundamentally wrong. Problems may arise if you sit at a table with seating; additional tables and chairs are not provided at such events.

When you come to an event, you should present an invitation and find the hosts to exchange a few phrases. There is no point in delaying the receiving party for a long time. Next, you need to find your place at the table.

Don't let it bother you a large number of glasses - the service staff knows the order of their use and knows what drinks to pour into them. But it’s worth paying attention to the cutlery. If you see several spoons, forks and are afraid of getting confused, follow simple rule– use the utensils one at a time for each dish served, starting from the outside.

Small talk

You don't have to be a great speaker, but you do need to be able to have a pleasant conversation. In a conversation, you should not “yak” or brag about yourself, your achievements, or your circle of acquaintances. Also, you should not belittle your own dignity, self-flagellate, complain about colleagues, relatives, or health.

Etiquette (and, accordingly, the psychology of business communication) advises avoiding conversations that are unpleasant and incomprehensible to the interlocutor. To win over, choose topics that are interesting to others. You can find many such topics, and it is better to talk about those that you understand.

It would be a mistake to discuss appearance and the manners of other guests, even with interlocutors whom you know well. Remember how projection works? What you say is automatically projected onto you.

You should not speak to someone in a language that is incomprehensible to others, have meaningless conversations about dreams, premonitions, or indulge in lengthy memories that are interesting only to you.

It is considered bad form to torture interlocutors about their earnings, marital status, as well as questions like: “Why are you not married?”, “Why are you not married?”, “When will you have a child?”

Jokes about someone else's last name, nationality, hair color, hairstyle, build, education and work experience are also unacceptable. As we all know, jokes of this kind are perceived by others as hidden aggression.

You should end the conversation decisively and as politely as possible: “I was pleased to meet you”, “It was very nice to chat/talk with you”, “We will definitely have to discuss this over a cup of coffee sometime”, “We will definitely have to meet again” . If you need to move on to someone else, you can say something like this: “Excuse me, I need to talk to that person over there. We will definitely return to our conversation/discuss this a little later.”

The rules of etiquette in society are the ability to behave in all situations in which a person may find himself. IN modern world It is extremely important to know them, to have good manners in order to be satisfied with yourself and others, to treat all people with respect, affability, kindness, and naturally. So that any, even the best elite society would willingly accept you into its ranks.

Interpretation of the term

Etiquette in modern society- a list of generally accepted rules that relate to human behavior in relation to other people in certain life situations.

There are several main types of such rules.

The ability to present yourself - rules for creating a wardrobe, appearance, self-care, physical form and posture, gait, poses, gestures.
Speech etiquette - the ability to correctly say greetings, compliments, thanks, and give remarks; rules of farewell, politeness,
Table etiquette - table manners, serving standards, eating habits.
Rules of etiquette in society - how to behave in a museum, at an exhibition, in a theater, restaurant, court, library, store, office, etc.
Business etiquette - relationships with colleagues, superiors, good manners in business, ability to lead, etc.

The ability to present yourself

Good manners, rules of etiquette, the ability to be an amiable person - all this requires not only skills, but also knowledge in these areas. Modern man must know how to behave in any circumstances, be able to behave accordingly, be courteous, friendly and confident.

Etiquette in clothing

The first impression is the strongest and most memorable, and in addition, intelligence is shown in the choice of clothes for the occasion. To make a good impression, it is not enough to be fashionably or expensively dressed. If you want to please others, you must take them into account and take into account different circumstances. Therefore, even in the formation of a wardrobe, it is customary to follow the rules of etiquette in society. It is important that the clothes are beautiful and suit you, but it is much more important that all the details of the appearance are organically combined with each other, and that it corresponds to the time, place and situation. It is not customary to wear during the day evening dresses, and to work - wear leisure clothes. Every time, when choosing what to wear, you must take into account the situation, the appropriate occasion, time, place, and do not forget about your own age, features of your figure. Everything you wear should always be clean, hemmed, buttoned and ironed. The exit outfit should always be in full readiness. When building your wardrobe, remember that it should include mandatory items, such as suits, formal trousers and skirts, blouses and evening wear, as well as home sets.

Personal care

Good manners require keeping your clothes clean, proper nutrition And healthy image life. It is unacceptable to appear in society unkempt. At the same time, it is important to monitor your appearance as a whole, carefully removing your hair when going out into the world. These are mandatory rules of etiquette and behavior for a girl, as well as for a man.

Good social behavior

The ability to present oneself begins with gait, posture, gestures, postures, and the manner of sitting. The rules of etiquette in society require a beautiful gait with a straight posture, when the arms move slightly in the rhythm of the step, the shoulders are straightened, and the stomach is tucked. You can’t lift your head high, but you shouldn’t walk with your head down either. Postures and gestures are no less important. To make a good impression, you need to behave simply and naturally. It is considered bad manners to twirl something in your hands, twirl your hair on your finger, drum your fingers on the table, stomp your feet to the beat of music, touch any part of the body with your hands, or pull another person’s clothes. As for the question of how to sit correctly, it is important to know only two rules: do not cross your legs and do not fall apart, spreading your legs and arms to the sides.

Speech etiquette

Polite words are special formulas that encrypt a large amount of information, both semantic and emotional. It is necessary to know them by heart, be able to choose the ones most suitable for the occasion and pronounce them in time in the appropriate tone. Masterly, correct mastery of these words is speech etiquette in modern society.

1. Greeting

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and feeling into the words. For example, you would not act very delicately by saying “good afternoon” to a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it is completely unacceptable to say “hello” to your boss, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people - when greeting them, call them by name or patronymic. Men should greet each other with a handshake. When meeting a lady, the gallant gentleman kisses her hand, and he should not pull her towards him, but must bend down as far as the woman offered her hand.

2. Appeal, presentation

Which message is preferable must be decided on a case-by-case basis, depending on the audience you are addressing. It is customary to address acquaintances by their first name or first name and patronymic; the latter is considered a sign of greater respect. In a formal setting, when introducing someone, use their first and last name. And calling by patronymic, for example Ivanovna, is acceptable only in the village, but not in secular society.

3. Requests

The word “please” is truly magical; it must be heard in all requests. Since the request in one way or another burdens the person to whom you are addressing, in some cases it is worth adding: “If it’s not difficult for you,” “Wouldn’t it be difficult for you?” It is also appropriate to say: “Do me a favor, be kind, could you,” etc.

4. Farewell

Before saying goodbye, you should prepare your interlocutor for parting: “It’s too late,” “Unfortunately, I have to go.” It is then customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, for example, “I'm glad we met.” The next stage of farewell is words of gratitude. Sometimes you can pay a compliment to the hostess of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without lingering.

In addition, the rules of etiquette in society require the ability to invite, apologize, console, express condolences, and gratitude. Each of these forms of address should sound natural and sincere, excluding rude and harsh phrases and phrases.

Table etiquette

Eating beautifully is just as important as moving and speaking well, but this is where moderation is especially important.

There is no need to try to specially embellish the process of eating, for example, eat in very small pieces, hold out your bent fingers. It is enough not to open your mouth while chewing, do not talk with your mouth full, and chew your food thoroughly before putting another portion in your mouth.
Never drink before swallowing food, unless you unexpectedly put hot food into your mouth. If you see your food is hot, don't blow on it before you start eating.
Try to eat and drink absolutely silently.
In society, bread is eaten not by biting off a whole piece, but by breaking off pieces from it.
Salt from an open salt shaker, if it does not have a special spoon, should be taken with the end of a clean knife, then poured onto the edge of your plate.
Ketchup or mustard as a condiment is offered only in the most relaxed atmosphere.
While eating, try to stain your plate as little as possible; do not stir or smear food on it.
Never, even at home, eat with your hands. It is customary to hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right. If you are eating a salad, you can take a fork right hand.
If you want to drink or take a break from eating, you need to leave the fork and knife in a criss-cross or “house” position.
Always take the spoon with your right hand; if you eat from a soup bowl, leave the spoon there after eating without putting it on the table.
After finishing a meal and before drinking, it is customary to use a napkin.

Etiquette: rules of behavior in society and public places

There are some specific rules in public places good manners, which are extremely important to observe.

1. In a museum, at an exhibition, opening day

The rules of behavior in these “temples” of art all over the world are the same and extremely simple: walk through the halls quietly, speak in a subdued tone, do not touch anything with your hands, do not come too close to the paintings and exhibits so as not to disturb other visitors.

2. In the theatre, philharmonic, concert hall

Modern rules of good manners are somewhat contradictory. Previously, a man had to invite ladies to such public places; today it is considered quite decent if a girl herself invites him to a play or concert. And even if she is the one who pays for the tickets for two. Fine well-mannered man must play the role of a gallant gentleman, courting the lady everywhere. It is important to arrive on time, calmly undress, take a seat without disturbing anyone. People with impeccable upbringing should not chew anything while watching.

3. In court, church, clinic, library

The rules of etiquette and good manners in society call for behavior in these places to be as quiet and inconspicuous as possible. You cannot talk, rustle, chew or walk unless absolutely necessary. Appeals and questions should be answered politely and in a low voice.

In any establishment, it is important to maintain good manners, be accommodating, tactful and polite. The main thing is that your stay should not cause discomfort to any of those present.

Business Etiquette

Good manners at work - required condition for each employee. What points does business etiquette cover? Easy rules will help you understand this issue.

Maintaining subordination with colleagues and superiors.
Arrive at work on time and quickly complete your duties.
Polite communication with both colleagues and visitors.
Confidentiality at work.
Dress appropriately for the institution where you work.
Lack of personal topics in discussions.
Maintaining order in your workplace.
by phone.

Rules in society help achieve the goals set in business. Thanks to good manners, you can move up the career ladder and be a successful, self-actualized person in everything.

To be nice person in any situation, in order for them to want to do business with you, you need to perfectly know the laws of behavior in society. They will help you not only achieve any goals, but also become a confident and happy person.

In the modern world, not knowing the rules of etiquette means going against society, presenting yourself not in the best way.

We present to you a selection of current rules that every person who respects himself and others should know:
1. Never come to visit without calling
If you are visited without warning, you can afford to wear a robe and curlers. One British lady said that when uninvited guests appear, she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!” If it’s unpleasant: “Oh, what a pity, I have to leave.”

2. The umbrella never dries open - neither in the office nor at a party.
It needs to be folded and placed in a special stand or hung.

3. The bag should not be placed on your lap or on your chair.
A small elegant clutch bag can be placed on the table, a large bag can be hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor if there is no special chair (these are often served in restaurants). The briefcase is placed on the floor.

4. Cellophane bags are only allowed when returning from the supermarket
Just like paper branded bags from boutiques. Carrying them with you later as a bag is redneck.

5. A man never wears women's bag
AND woman coat he takes it only to carry it to the locker room.

6. Home clothes- these are trousers and a sweater, comfortable, but having a decent appearance
The robe and pajamas are designed to go to the bathroom in the morning, and from the bathroom to the bedroom in the evening.

7. From the moment the child settles in a separate room, learn to knock when entering his room.
Then he will do the same before entering your bedroom.

8. A woman can wear her hat and gloves indoors, but not her cap and mittens.

9. The total number of jewelry according to the international protocol should not exceed 13 items
And this includes jewelry buttons. A ring is not worn over gloves, but a bracelet is allowed. The darker it is outside, the more expensive decorations. Diamonds used to be considered an adornment for evening and married ladies, but in Lately It became permissible to wear diamonds during the day. On a young girl, stud earrings with a diamond of about 0.25 carats are quite appropriate.

10. Rules for paying for an order in a restaurant
If you say the phrase “I invite you,” this means you pay. If a woman invites business partner to the restaurant, she pays. Another formulation: “Let’s go to a restaurant,” - in this case, everyone pays for themselves, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, can she agree.

11. A man always gets into the elevator first, but the one closest to the door gets off first.

12. In a car, the most prestigious seat is considered to be behind the driver.
A woman occupies it, a man sits next to her, and when he gets out of the car, he holds the door and gives the lady his hand. If a man is driving, it is also preferable for a woman to take a seat behind him. However, no matter where the woman sits, the man must open the door for her and help her out.
IN business etiquette Recently, men are increasingly violating this norm, using the feminist motto: “There are no women and men in business.”

13. Talking publicly about the fact that you are on a diet is bad form.
Moreover, under this pretext one cannot refuse dishes offered by a hospitable hostess. Be sure to praise her culinary talents, while you don't have to eat anything. The same should be done with alcohol. Don't tell everyone why you can't drink. Ask for dry white wine and sip lightly.

14. Taboo topics for small talk: politics, religion, health, money
Inappropriate question: “God, what a dress! How much did you pay? How to react? Smile sweetly: “This is a gift!” Change the conversation to another topic. If the other person insists, say softly: “I wouldn’t like to talk about it.”

15. Every person over 12 years old must be addressed as “you”
It’s disgusting to hear people say “you” to waiters or drivers. Even to those people with whom you know well, it is better to address them as “you” in the office, but only as “you” in private. The exception is if you are peers or close friends. How to react if your interlocutor persistently “pokes” you? First, ask again: “Excuse me, are you addressing me?” Otherwise, a neutral shrug: “Sorry, but we didn’t switch to “you.”

16. Discussing those who are absent, that is, simply gossiping, is unacceptable
It is impermissible to speak badly about loved ones, in particular to discuss husbands, as is customary in our country. If your husband is bad, why don't you divorce him? And in the same way, it is inadmissible to speak about one’s native country with contempt and a grimace. “In this country, everyone is a redneck...” - in this case, you also belong to this category of people.

17. When you come to the cinema, theater, or concert, you should go to your seats only facing those sitting
The man goes first.

18. Nine things should be kept secret:
Age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of a medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thank you for that
that you are discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us on Facebook And In contact with

In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, basic politeness, a neat appearance and the ability to manage one’s emotions.

website presents to you a selection of current rules that every person who respects himself and others should know.

If you say the phrase: “I invite you,” this means you pay. Another formulation: “Let’s go to a restaurant,” - in this case, everyone pays for themselves, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, can she agree.
Never come to visit without calling. If you are visited without warning, you can afford to wear a robe and curlers. One British lady said that when uninvited guests appear, she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!” If it’s unpleasant: “Oh, what a pity, I have to leave.”
Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. By doing this, you show how important a role your communication device plays in your life and how much you are not interested in the annoying chatter going on around you. At any moment you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check your Instagram feed, answer an important call or get distracted to find out what fifteen new levels have been released in Angry Birds.

You should not invite a girl on a date and communicate with her via SMS messages.
A man never carries a woman's bag. And he takes a woman’s coat only to carry it to the locker room.
If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should say hello too.
Many people believe that sushi can only be eaten with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Men, unlike women, can eat sushi with their hands.
Shoes should ALWAYS be clean.
Don't make idle chatter on the phone. If you need an intimate conversation, it is better to meet with a friend face to face.
If you are insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice at the person who insulted you. Don't stoop to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.
On the street, a man should walk to the left of a woman. Only military personnel can walk on the right and must be ready to perform a military salute.
Drivers should remember that spraying mud at passers-by in cold blood is blatant incivility.
A woman may wear her hat and gloves indoors, but not her cap and mittens.
Nine things should be kept secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of a medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

When you come to the cinema, theater, or concert, you should go to your seats only facing those sitting. The man goes first.
A man always enters a restaurant first, the main reason is that based on this sign, the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the establishment and who will pay. If a large company arrives, the person who invited you to the restaurant enters first and pays. But if a doorman meets visitors at the entrance, the man must let the woman through first. After which the gentleman finds empty seats.
You should never touch a woman without her desire, take her by the hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her by the arm above the elbow, except when you are helping her get on or off a vehicle, or cross the street. .
If someone calls you impolitely (for example: “Hey, you!”), you should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture or educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach a lesson in etiquette by example.
The golden rule when using perfume is moderation. If in the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
A well-mannered man will NEVER ALLOW himself to fail to show due respect to a woman.
In the presence of a woman, men smoke only with her permission.
Whoever you are - director, academician, elderly woman or a schoolboy - when entering the room, say hello first.
Maintain confidentiality of correspondence. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same towards each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is acting extremely rudely.
Don't try to keep up with fashion. It's better to look unfashionable but good than fashionable and bad.

And finally, here are the words of the legendary American actor Jack Nicholson:

“I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Don't shout from one room to another. Do not open closed door without knocking. Let the lady go first. The purpose of all these countless simple rules is to make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I take great care of my manners. This is not some kind of abstraction. This is a language of mutual respect that everyone understands.”

One of the basic principles of modern life is to maintain normal relationship between people and the desire to avoid conflicts. In turn, respect and attention can only be earned by maintaining politeness and restraint. But in life we often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, and disrespect for the personality of another person. The reason here is that we underestimate the role culture of human behavior, manifested in etiquette.

Etiquette culture, acting as a manifestation of a person’s general moral culture, upbringing, his internal attitude towards others, manifests itself primarily in attention And respect to other people. Therefore, one of the most necessary norms of etiquette is politeness, manifested in many specific rules of behavior: in greeting, addressing a person, in the ability to remember his name and patronymic, the most important dates of his life. Cervantes famously said: “Nothing is so cheap and nothing is valued so much as politeness” - this “sum of small sacrifices” we make to people with whom we enter into one relationship or another.

True politeness is a must friendly and sincere... It is one of the manifestations of a selfless attitude towards the people with whom we have to communicate. With some of them these relationships can turn into friendship, with others they can remain simply friendly or business relationships. But our sincere goodwill towards everyone is an obligatory tribute to politeness.

Other important “pillars” on which the rules of etiquette are based are tact And sensitivity. These noble human qualities are revealed in attention, deep respect for those with whom we communicate, in the desire and ability to understand them, to feel how we can give them pleasure, joy, or vice versa, cause irritation, annoyance, resentment. Tactfulness and sensitivity are also manifested in sense of proportion which should be observed in conversation, in the ability to sense the limit beyond which our words and actions can cause a person undeserved offense, grief, pain.

A tactful person always takes into account specific circumstances: differences in age, gender, social status, place of conversation, presence or absence of strangers. A tactful and well-mannered person behaves in accordance with the norms of etiquette not only in an official setting, but also at home. Tact and a sense of proportion tell him what can and cannot be done under certain circumstances. Such a person will never, by word or deed, offend another, or insult his dignity.

Unfortunately, there are people with a double standard of behavior: one in public, the other at home. At school, with acquaintances and friends, they are polite and helpful, but at home, with loved ones, they do not stand on ceremony, are rude and tactless. This indicates a person’s low culture and poor upbringing.

Forms of tactlessness very diverse.

Tactless in conversation:

– refuse to discuss the proposed topic without reason (“I don’t want to talk about this topic”);

– conduct conversations that can evoke difficult memories for those present and unpleasantly offend them (about illness, death, etc.);

- allow inappropriate jokes, make fun of those present, gossip about those absent;

– talk loudly in public places and transport about purely personal, intimate matters – your own and others’;

– whisper in your ear, etc.

Tactless in behavior :

– upon entering the transport, stop at the door without thinking about the remaining passengers;

– occupy several seats in transport with yourself or your luggage at once;

sit in transport, “not noticing” the women and elderly people standing in front of you;

– do not leave a passage on the metro escalator for those who are in a hurry (you should always stand on the right);

- always be dissatisfied with everything, grumble, condemn everything, make constant complaints;

behave uncontrollably in your own apartment, disturbing neighbors: slamming doors, turning on the TV or radio at full power, making noise at late hours;

It is also tactless to show idle curiosity:

– look closely at a person, especially point at him or whisper about him;

– look into the windows of other people’s apartments;

- to blab other people's secrets.

Tactful behavior is also based on self-control. That's why tactless:

- act and speak in a state of anger or passion - later you may bitterly regret it;

– show your likes and dislikes too openly;

- go too far in expressing your courtesy and friendliness so that they do not turn into importunity.

Not only a sense of proportion will help you behave correctly in these situations, but also delicacy, which will tell you how to approach a person so as not to offend, not to offend him, not to touch a sore spot, but, on the contrary, to try to help him, to get him out of a difficult situation.

At the same time, delicacy should not be excessive, intrusive, turn into flattery, or lead to the praise of everything seen and heard. For example, there is no need to hide the fact that you are seeing, hearing, or tasting something for the first time, for fear that you will be considered ignorant.

A prerequisite for tact is respect for another, manifested, in particular, in the ability to listen to him, in the ability to quickly and accurately determine the interlocutor’s reaction to our statements, actions and, if necessary, self-critically, without false shame, apologize for the mistake made. This will not only not damage your dignity, but, on the contrary, will strengthen it in the eyes of people, revealing such a valuable trait of yours as modesty. After all, a modest person never strives to show himself better, more capable, smarter than others, does not emphasize his superiority, does not demand any privileges, special amenities, or services for himself.

But self-centered people, on the contrary, strive to attract attention to themselves, to squeeze forward everywhere. To this end, they condemn, ridicule, and belittle the importance of others, exalting their own merits, which often do not exist. Such people are unpleasant in society, they are no longer respected, because they lack tact and inner sensitivity, which are so necessary in communication.

At the same time, modesty should not manifest itself in timidity and shyness. On the contrary, modest people may well turn out to be quite decisive and active in critical circumstances, when defending their own opinions. But this should be done without causing internal resistance in the interlocutor and a desire to fight before the argument begins. To prove something, you need to do it so subtly, so skillfully that no one feels it. And the best way to end the misunderstanding is with a friendly, tactful remark, a sympathetic desire to understand the point of view of your opponent.

Calmness, diplomacy, a deep understanding of the interlocutor’s argumentation, well-thought-out counter-argumentation based on accurate facts - this is the solution to this contradiction between the requirements of “good form” and firmness in defending one’s opinion during discussions.

You cannot simply “learn tact” - it is acquired not only under the influence of environment and upbringing, but is also determined by the character and desire of the person himself. However, it is certainly possible to develop it.

In addition to the main principles politeness, tact, modesty there are also general rules behavior. These include, for example, "inequality" people in the field of etiquette, expressed, in particular, in the form benefits who have - remember!: - women before men,

- elders before younger ones,

– the sick before the healthy,

– boss (director, teacher) in front of subordinates.

How can this manifest itself, for example, in relation to a woman? A man, a young man, a young man must be attentive to women and girls (remember: the level of his culture and upbringing is judged by his attitude towards a woman).

If he accompanies or sees her off, he must take every possible care of her. In the theater, in a restaurant, at a party - help undress and dress, give a coat, put clothes in the wardrobe. At the door, let them go first (except for restaurant halls, where men enter first). In transport, elevators, help to get in and out (the man gets out first, giving the lady his hand). Take the heavy luggage from her or at least offer help. Always and all women, regardless of their age, give up their seat in transport. Walking up the stairs, a man lags behind a woman by 1-2 steps; going down, he walks ahead.

Thus our conversation moves from general principles of etiquette private behavioral issues.