Raising a six year old boy. Why do girls sometimes like games for boys more? The child prefers to play only with adults

If a boy prefers to play with dolls, and a girl prefers cars and guns, do parents have cause for concern?

Of course, most boys love to play with cars and guns, while girls usually prefer strollers and household utensils. But it happens that young ladies from an early age like cars, and future men like dolls and pots. And this should not cause concern to parents. Any game will be useful for a child, as it helps him learn new skills, broadens his horizons, and introduces him to something educational and interesting. Let your little one play with what he likes. Or are you afraid it's wrong? Are you worried about what people will say? Let's look at the stereotypes associated with toys and their gender, and dispel the most common myths.

A girl shouldn't play with pistols
MYTH. This game helps to throw out strong emotions and cope with aggression. Of course, a cute girl who runs around the yard with a toy weapon, shoots loudly and screams, is unlikely to cause affection in those around her. But if you forbid your baby to play like this, you will deprive her of the opportunity to get rid of negative emotions and throw out energy. And this is fraught with the fact that negativity can turn against you.

ADVICE: Watch carefully how the baby plays “war”. Make sure she doesn't show aggression towards other children.

A boy shouldn't have dolls
MYTH. Do you like the way your husband skillfully takes care of your child? Of course I like it. And you don't see anything wrong with that. So why don't you give your son the opportunity to practice acquiring these much-needed skills? By playing with dolls, the toddler prepares for the role of a father, learns to show feelings and emotions, to patronize and care for others. Most boys become bored with such games around the age of three, but some retain this interest much longer.

ADVICE: Don’t be afraid that your boy will grow up to be a weak henpecked man who will have to deal with diapers and pots all his life. Interest in dolls at such a tender age does not mean anything.

The hooligan girl needs to be reined in
MYTH. Both among boys and among girls there are both calm children and those who like to stick their noses everywhere and turn everything upside down. It all depends on the child's temperament. If your daughter likes active outdoor games, do not forbid her from doing so (but only under your supervision!). This will help release her energy and develop her innate leadership potential.

Read also How to develop creative potential children

ADVICE: If you see that your baby likes outdoor games most of all, do not limit her to this. When you go for a walk, be sure to take a ball with you and play with your daughter.

Boys should play with boys
MYTH. If kids enjoy playing together, gender doesn't matter. In addition, until the age of three, children most often play not together, but next to each other. As for older children, psychologists say that playing in same-sex groups is more beneficial for children, since children feel freer and calmer with members of their own sex.

ADVICE: Be calm about the fact that your son has many girlfriends in addition to his friends. Thanks to this, he will acquire very important communication skills, become more open, and learn to express his emotions.

Girls use their imagination in play
MYTH. Not only girls, but also boys use fantasy in the game, because this is the basis of most games. You can’t do without it when putting a bear to sleep or building a castle out of blocks. How simpler toys, the more useful they are for the development of the baby’s imagination. For example, Ragdoll without a face, depending on the situation and needs, can be a princess, a small child or a warrior. Girls use their imagination more role playing games and writing your own stories. But the boy who shoots with a stick found in the yard cannot do without a play of imagination.

ADVICE: To give free rein to your baby’s imagination, read him fairy tales as often as possible, play a home puppet theater, and draw. And limit your TV viewing. This is harmful not only for vision, but also for the development of imagination!

Sensitive boy will grow up to be gaping
MYTH. He will grow up to be a sensitive man who knows how to show his feelings, sympathize, and empathize. Don't kill these traits in your son!

ADVICE: Don't tell the boy that men shouldn't be afraid, cry, or be sad. The child must be able to express his feelings and emotions. It is better when a boy knows how to get out of conflict situations with words rather than fists.

IMPORTANT! If a boy likes dolls and a girl likes cars, don't worry. The main thing is that the game brings joy to the child.

Stroller - best toy
At the age of 12-15 months, most children, regardless of gender, like to push a doll stroller. Why is this happening? It turns out that this has nothing to do with caring for the doll. The stroller is a convenient mobile support for a toddler who has only recently learned to walk.

Good afternoon My son is 5.5 years old. He goes to the garden. At home he behaves very actively, feels like a leader in the family, and “commands” everyone. In the garden he is quiet. He plays in the garden almost exclusively with girls; the boys do not take him into their games (as he explains to me, the boys do not want to play by his rules). He is only friends with one boy, who ignores him in the presence of other children (when they go home together, he seems to be friends with this boy). It turns out that he is chasing this boy with his tail, wants him to play only with him, and if not, then he plays with the girls. My parents also noticed this peculiarity of his: being friends only with girls. They say we need to see a psychologist about his gender identity. He likes to cook at home and does not play with dolls. He plays with cars, but not very willingly. I don’t know what to think anymore. Is everything okay with my son? How can I teach him to play with boys?

Ekaterina, Ukraine, 33 years old

Answer from a child psychologist:

Hello, Ekaterina.

I think that in any situation when questions or doubts arise regarding the upbringing or development of a child, an in-person consultation with a specialist is a priority. During a face-to-face consultation, you have the opportunity to discuss with a specialist not only those situations that have caused you anxiety, but also objective feedback that the specialist gives you, observing your child and your relationship with him directly. This mode of operation is more productive. Perhaps your parents’ statements about your son’s gender identity cause you anxiety, which prevents you from contacting a psychologist in person. You feel that something needs to change, but find it difficult to specify the reason for this behavior. Based on the facts described in your letter, I will assume that the difficulties that your son experiences in the children's group have nothing to do with gender identification. I would focus on the following aspects raising a child: 1) Your son is probably the only child in the family. Consequently, all adults (mom, dad, grandparents, etc.) strive to pay attention to him, take care (overly) of all his desires, do something instead of him, make decisions for him where he himself would coped. This led to the child not having sufficiently formed personal boundaries. Example: “The children don’t want to play by my rules.” That is, a child can (and wants) to play only by his own rules; other rules are difficult for him to accept. He is unable to compromise, giving in on some things and insisting on others. 2) Strong guardianship or a ban on the expression of aggressive feelings leads to the fact that it is difficult for a child to express aggressive emotions, and even more so to express them in socially acceptable ways. Hearing and accepting other people's rules, offering something of your own in addition to them is healthy competition, in which there is always an element of active (aggressive in a positive sense) behavior. 3) Not being able to play with boys, your son joins girls' games. Perhaps they accept his rules or show concern for the boy during the game, but he is much more comfortable in this situation (without competition) than with boys. But even though he plays with girls, boys' games look much more attractive to him. After all, he chases a boy who is ready to play with him sometimes, tries to join in the boys’ games, even if not very successfully so far. Therefore, I think your son does not have a problem with gender identity. Recommendations: 1) Create a daily routine and stick to it. 2) Give the child the opportunity to cope on his own with those tasks that he is capable of. 3) Praise even for the smallest successes in terms of independence. Boast to relatives and friends about his achievements. 4) Sometimes ask him for all possible help. 5) Introduce certain responsibilities. For example: making your bed and putting away your things and toys. 6) Make time for some common things with dad. This could be any games, conversations, walks, going to the grocery store together, that is. involvement in “male” affairs. 7) In-person consultation with a psychologist.

Sincerely, Parkhomenko Irina Genrikhovna.

In this article:

At the age of 6-7 years, children are already quite independent. This is the time to go to first grade, which means real “adult” life begins. In terms of their temperament, boys are already very different from girls. They are interested in outdoor games, cars, fights, football, etc. Well, it's not so bad, right?

Now is the time for the boy to begin to develop his masculinity. It is important that at this moment there is a man nearby from whom you can take an example. The best fit is the father. Raising a boy is not the easiest task for parents. It is imperative to choose one line of behavior so that it does not turn out that the father scolds for something, and the mother forgives everything and isolates the child from everything. Advice for parents child psychologist. Choose the right games, books and cartoons. This is the age when only the most courageous, honest and just heroes should always be before your eyes.

How to raise a child

Your son is entering a new period of life. School, friends, and communication with new adults await him. Now he needs slightly different parental support, education and correct example. Both parents should do this. Of course, the ideal situation is when a child has both parents. Then the father can show him what it is like to be a man, to take responsibility.

Family is the best example

When there are harmonious relationships in the family, it is much easier for a child to understand the roles of a man and a woman. It is important for a boy to see how parents communicate, what they do together, how they solve problems. Mother's and father's love are completely different in nature and teach the child different things. It is important that parents know how to maintain a balance.

Who's the boss in the house

It is very important who is in charge in the house. This affects how the child perceives himself and his gender. Where there is an overbearing father, “real men” do not necessarily grow up. Rather, he may grow
unsure of himself, always complex. It is important here that the boy has a healthy example before his eyes.

If the mother decides everything in the family, then children often grow up spineless. Especially if you are having a boy. This situation is not only non-standard, it can even be dangerous for the proper formation of personality.

Of course, the ideal option is a golden mean. A situation where mom and dad contribute equally to raising children and taking care of the home.

Who should raise the boy?

Often what is missing is good behavior- conversation with father. The father must act as an authority for his son. One can and should take an example from him. It is important that father and son build
trusting relationship. Let's not forget that the mother's role in education is also very important.

Before teaching or punishing anything, parents themselves need to agree on the style of raising the boy. Parents need to adhere to one line of behavior, otherwise the child simply will not understand when and who to obey. It shouldn’t be that mom scolded her for fighting, and dad praised her.

Three rules for healthy raising a boy

If you ask a child psychologist to give advice, he will offer three simple rules. They will help you solve many problems in raising your baby. Great for ages 6-7 years old.

• Dad should be a good role model.

Dad has a child
learn masculinity. You have a son, which means that he will soon understand that he is a boy. He will begin to copy his father's behavior. At first it will be funny when a 1-2 year old baby tries to behave like dad. At the same time, it is no less important. The desire to be like your father is logical and normal. For this, the father himself must be a worthy example. Actions, speech, clothes, hobbies - the child will want everything to be like his dad. So yours little man will take the right guidelines for life.

• Mom raises her son to respect his father.

A mother should not transfer her personal problems with her husband onto her child. Did you quarrel with your spouse? There is no need to tell your little son that dad is bad, worthless, and doesn’t care about you. This confuses the child and gives him the wrong ideas about family life.

Maybe dad comes home late and doesn't have much time. Or you get a divorce, and dad will live far away. The son must respect his father in any case. What the father does right or wrong, he will still have time to figure out later. Now this is his first and main role model. By respecting his father, the son learns to be a man.

• Mom and dad together teach their son to respect women.

Respect for a woman
- this is what parents should teach their boy. Girls, girls, women need to be protected and protected. This will not make your son weak or vulnerable. This will make him a man. Respect for a woman comes from the family. Firstly, the son perfectly sees the father’s attitude towards his mother. Secondly, you should definitely talk to him about this topic. At 6-7 years old he will go to school. There will be boys and girls. He will even sit at the same desk with someone. He must understand that he has a special role in this world.

"It's not manly"

Let's not forget that men also have the right to be weak sometimes. Raising him from childhood in unprecedented male severity is also not an option. Parents need to be wise here. For example, you saw how your 6-year-old son tried on his sister's clothes or even painted his nails with his mother's polish. This is not a reason to grab your head and think that your son is “not like that.”

Children have a normal interest in our world. They are still just learning to be someone. And sometimes they play at someone. For example, now he was interested in what it was like to be a girl. He tried on his sister's dress. This does not mean that there is something wrong with his sexual orientation. Of course, if his behavior suddenly changes, he begins
to claim that he is a girl is another matter. Go with him to a child psychologist.

Often the answer lies on the surface. In families where the mother is the head of the family, the strongest, most confident and aggressive, this can happen. For a boy, gender roles are shifting. To be strong for him is to be like his mother.

Or maybe your little man has a little sister? Then all attention to the baby. However, he also wants to be the center of general delight, as he was before. So he tries on bows and rubber bands. There's nothing wrong with that either. He does this unconsciously, but for parents this behavior is a signal. Pay attention to your son no less than to your little daughter. Now he especially needs you.

Education through fairy tales and games

A little man needs manly games. Dad should take an active part here. You will not make your son aggressive and pugnacious if you fight with him as a joke. Do you see any interest in fighting? Take me to boxing and karate classes. Let him learn from an early age to control his strength. Then you can always practice with dad, but with knowledge of the matter.

Choose appropriate toys. Giving a 6-year-old boy a teddy bear is not the best good idea. He's most likely already
he himself will not want to play with them. Now he is interested in cars, robots, soldiers, and construction sets. Offer to build a house together or learn traffic rules.

Fairy tales, books, cartoons also select appropriate ones. They must have some kind of role model, for example, a hero who knows how to defeat enemies with ingenuity, show courage, and be able to stand up for himself. There is no point in showing senseless shootouts and fist fights. Now it is important to form an understanding in your son: power should be used only wisely. You can't use your physical strength or superiority to force those who are weaker than you to do something. You cannot be cruel, angry, cynical, or laugh at the suffering of other people.

Discuss with your son what you read and saw. Ask him why he likes the cartoon he watches. Try to understand which heroes attract him and why. You can educate not only with moral teachings and prohibitions. Through games, fairy tales and cartoons, many everyday problems are solved more easily, and the child becomes clearer about how our world works.

It will be useful

What can and should be done to proper upbringing your son:

This way you will instill in your son the correct concept of values.

There is no need to do this

This is best avoided, especially with a child 6-7 years old:

• sleep in your bed;
• ignore the manifestation of his Self, personality and character;
• leave without normal household duties;
• choose which children you can play with and be friends with, and which you cannot;
• prohibit the manifestation of initiative;
• protect your son from any conflicts with teachers and other children;
• make concessions where it is not necessary, patronize beyond the norm.

These manifestations of parental care only harm the correct formation of character.

You need to punish correctly

Punishment is also part educational process. You need to educate and punish correctly. It’s hard to get used to the fact that now the child has become older. A boy of this age cannot be punished in the same way as at 3-4 years old. Now you are not just prohibiting something, but clearly explaining why you are doing this. There certainly must be punishment. But always discuss the situation with your son before doing so. Simple rules will help you figure out what to do.

Without aggression

Aggression in words and actions will not benefit education. There is no need to hit, spank, or pull a boy without a special reason. You can only teach him that all problems can be solved by force. Who is stronger is right. The stronger one can hit the weaker one. Such methods of punishment only bring the opposite effect. Don’t be surprised if the child himself begins to show aggression towards relatives, other children, and animals. This is the expected outcome of such punishments.

Slap on the butt
Of course, sometimes it has an effect. Especially if a 6-year-old child does not pay attention to your words at all. But again, there should be no aggression, no desire to hurt. This is your "emergency button". Punishment for misconduct, mistake or bad word should not be associated with pain. Such methods form incorrect psychological guidelines in children.

It's understandable that parents might be angry. Bad behavior, disobedience makes me very angry, sometimes I want to shout loudly and spank. Even just your appearance can be aggressive and frightening. Still, this is still Small child. He still makes mistakes and learns, experiences the world, communicates, interacts with it. Now there is still an opportunity to teach and correct. Intimidating with punishments is a bad idea.

Without humiliation

Humiliating a child, especially in public, is the worst thing a parent can do in any situation. At 6 years old, children, on the one hand, understand your words well. On the other hand, they cannot always distinguish what is said in the heat of anger from the truth. Leave all moralizing for a calm environment. If at school, visiting or on playground the boy has done something wrong, then tell him about it. Be sure to say that you are not happy with the behavior, then discuss it at home.

Now the one
the age when important psychological mechanisms are formed in boys and girls. Their psyche changes, and their personality changes. They grow up and gain experience. The boy already knows and can do a lot. Insults and humiliation can greatly affect the psychological and emotional development. For example, they will make you believe that he is worse than others, that he is not good enough. This breaks your opinion of yourself, your view of yourself, your sense of self.

There may be punishment for an offense, but it should not harm the child physically or psychologically. Only then will your actions produce results and not harm. Your upbringing will benefit, and will not ruin the situation even more.

The child is already 6 years old, don’t forget

Remember that it is important for a boy to feel like a man. Your upbringing should be structured so that he feels his masculinity. He is the future defender
head of the family, your support. He must be able to feel his role. Even if he is only 6 years old.

Your punishments should not harm his thoughts that he is a small man. Therefore, think carefully about your line of behavior. Assess how the child is developing, what he can and cannot do. Think in advance about how and for what offenses you will punish him, and where you can get by with a conversation. Somewhere you can shame a little, hint that men don’t act like that. In some situations there will be prohibitions and restrictions. Again, they should not affect his sense of self and self-determination.

Questions for a child psychologist

A child psychologist is often asked to comment on whether parents are raising a child correctly. Of course, every baby is unique. He has his own character, habits and needs. You cannot impose any general model of upbringing without paying attention to the son’s individuality. Here parents need to decide for themselves what they would like their child to be like when he grows up.

Below are the psychologist's answers to the most common questions from parents.

My son is 6 years old, but he prefers to play only with girls on the playground. This is fine?

The main question here is why he does this. Have you tried asking your son why he likes to play with girls more than with boys his own age? The point may not be that your son is somehow “different.” Girls are more emotional and even at 5-6 years old have greater empathy. Perhaps your child has a hard time making friends with other boys. It's easier to make friends with girls; they accept him into the game. At this age of play
girls and boys are different, but children can easily be in such mixed company.

It is also important who is raising the boy. If mothers, grandmothers and aunts do this, then everything is clear. He's just used to female company. He is looking for the same friends for games. Of course, I would like a 6-year-old boy to be able to easily find mutual language with all the guys on the site. But you shouldn’t worry too much, especially if he still has male friends.

My son (6 years old) is having trouble making friends at school. How can I help him?

Perhaps he's just shy? New environment, new people, new conditions. Wait until the first grader adapts to school. And who said that friends appear just like that, in 1-2 weeks? On the other hand, if you raise your child very harshly, he may become withdrawn. At the age of 6, children are still highly dependent on their parents' opinions.

Your words may upset him, especially if you often mention that he is stupid, unkempt, awkward, bungled, and confused. This lowers self-esteem. The son may be afraid that new people his age will not accept him or will reject him because he is “a slob, awkward and unkempt.” It is better to remove such negative definitions from your communication with the boy. They do not increase confidence in their abilities.

I don’t allow my wife to punish my child, a 6-year-old boy. I only punish myself, is that right?

Main,
It’s not who punishes, but how. And why? If you think that only dad can spank the butt, then this is a controversial statement. So far, both parents have the same role in raising their son. Punishment in any case should not be humiliation. Dad or mom, it doesn't matter.

On the other hand, mother can be very soft and often cannot be strict when necessary. Then you better talk to your son together. Show him that you both share the same opinion about upbringing and rules of behavior.

Is it possible to spank my son as punishment if he is already seven years old?

It's better not to do this. By the age of 7, children already understand quite well why they are going to be punished. They have already learned many rules of behavior, even if they do not want to follow them. Now try to talk and discuss more. Of course, if the situation requires it, you can spank the child. But it's better to avoid this. Now the boy needs to be raised so that he begins to feel like a man.

A 6-year-old boy hit a girl on the playground. What should I do? Is it necessary to punish?

Depends on how you want to punish him. Spank in front of everyone? Hit him back? Aggression only breeds more aggression. The first thing to do is figure out why he hit the girl. Is it acceptable in your family to raise hands against each other? When your son is wrong, do you hit him or spank him? If he sees such an example of conflict resolution, then the parents are most likely to blame.

You need to punish, but wisely. Be sure to make sure that the son apologizes to the girl and asks for forgiveness. Then talk to him. It’s better to let your father or grandfather talk, or uncle if there is no father. Here you need to simply but clearly explain: you are a man, albeit a small one. Hitting a girl who is weaker is not right. Even if she was wrong, she called her names, she was the first to start.

Often, parents turn to a psychologist with questions about their child engaging in activities that, in their opinion, are inappropriate for their child’s gender.

- My son plays with dolls...
- My daughter only plays with boys...

Parents are concerned that their child may grow up to be homosexual.
And they immediately begin to “treat” him - to forbid him to do things that, in their opinion, a normal child should not do.

What do psychologists think about this? In what cases should parents start to worry and should they contact a specialist?

Biological homosexuality develops independently of behavior, upbringing and culture, is initially determined genetically and cannot be corrected by education or psychotherapy. But there are about 3-10% of such homosexuals. Other cases are the result of psychological trauma.

Each of us has a masculine and feminine energy, and which one we focus on when raising children will have consequences, but it will not necessarily be associated with a change in sexual orientation. Possibly a girl raised on a cult masculine qualities and devaluation of women's, will be more masculine, “a man in a skirt.” A boy brought up in a family where the role of a man is belittled, shown in a terrible light, will strive not to take this role, will be more feminine and soft. For the harmonious development of the child’s personality, attention should be paid to both energies, but preference should be given depending on the gender of the child - to male or female qualities.

If parents are worried about something in their child’s behavior, then they should, first of all, find out the reason for such behavior of their child. For example, girls have every right play with cars and be friends with the boys. A passion for cars in early childhood may be due to various reasons - there is an older brother who drives vehicles so temptingly; The bright, moving cars themselves, emitting different signals, attract the attention of not only boys and girls. In order to balance, you can offer to play something else, get them interested in another game, that is, expand the child’s gaming repertoire.

In a situation where a boy is friends only with girls or, conversely, a girl only with boys, this is also not tragic, but attention should be paid to it. Perhaps the child feels competition or considers himself weaker, uglier, so he chooses a friend of the opposite sex. Or perhaps in the family the child saw only male friends, and the boy only saw female friends. Each individual case may have its own reasons.

Regardless of the gender and age of the child, parents should try to understand their son or daughter and provide the necessary support. If your own knowledge and skills are not enough for this, then you should contact a qualified specialist.

The most important thing for a child is the unconditional love of his parents! And what a child will become largely depends on us adults, so by paying attention to ourselves, we give our children a more worthy example to follow.

If suddenly this happens, then parents need to think about what they wanted from their child. All parents want their child to grow up healthy and have a happy and successful life in the future. Yes it is. However, do they see their real child behind this dream? What is he like? The child responds very sensitively to the unspoken wishes of the parents and especially the mother. Excessive concern about some issues, be it health, character or identification, is read by the child in the sense that he is not accepted for who he is, in his spontaneity. The child begins to remake himself to please his parents, because for him it is a matter of survival. Mom's love depends on how he meets her requirements. Mom has difficult relationships with men. Some of their qualities are difficult for her to accept. And the child shows other qualities. Tenderness, femininity. It’s easier for him with girls, he doesn’t have to strain to show his love for his mother... Or, on the contrary, the father is very strict and stern. He makes such high demands on the boy's courage that are impossible for a small boy to achieve. Then it’s better to come under the protection of your mother, become like your mother and get out from under the pressure of your father like that in an original way. It is impossible to describe all the nuances that are possible, but the point is that initially and very early on, they already want something from the child. It no longer corresponds to something. They are already setting boundaries for him and expecting him to become what he should become. Instead of waiting with surprise and interest, what is our child like? To rejoice that he manifests himself in this world, begins to feel, to live. Do not evaluate each of its manifestations, but accept and name it. This is very difficult and sometimes impossible, because the parents themselves did not receive this, and now they automatically repeat what happened to them in childhood. Evaluations, worries, aspirations, impositions... It is very difficult to return spontaneity to a child, but we must try! And if suddenly a girl grows up like a boy, then first you need to worry not about her, but about yourself. What have we imposed on her? Maybe mom really wanted a man nearby? Such a reliable, self-confident person. The kind that doesn’t hang around in drool and snot, but is direct and honest. Or it was possible to cope with the mother’s emotional instability only with such an open and strong masculine manifestation as the father had. Or dad always wanted a son and unwittingly encouraged his daughter’s boyish behavior... Now it’s difficult for her to identify with her mother and accept the female role, but it’s easier to become like men... You need to force yourself to stop worrying about this and accept what is. What happened. Love your child as he is, and not as he would like him to be. Then the path will open for him to regain his spontaneity. Then perhaps he will understand that it is wonderful to be the girl or boy he was born to be. Or maybe he will decide differently... but on his own, and without trying to avoid something or please something. Either way, happiness is possible. And what before parents If they come to their senses and start working on themselves, the more opportunities the child will have to build his own, satisfying life.

Parents often convey their ideas to their children about what is “right” and “wrong,” “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts.” Growing up with their parents’ “rules of life,” children often find themselves faced with dilemma: whether to follow your experience, your feelings, reality, or follow parental rules and prohibitions. And this is very often the cause of what was previously called neurosis, and now - mental illness.

It's the same with sexuality. Banning and re-teaching children about their sexual identity can make the child unhappy and, in severe cases, lead to suicide.

Russia In terms of homophobia, it ranks among countries such as Iraq and Egypt. It’s difficult to think in terms of the future, but you can at least try to understand the limitations and danger of hatred and fear (of anything).

My call is to love children as they are. Don't turn them hostage to your fears and phobias. Pass on your values ​​to them with respect and Love.

And may your mental health be with you!

Don't raise children, they will still be like you. Educate yourself...(English proverb)

Parents' behavior is the most important thing in raising a child. Parents raise children constantly, even when the children are out of sight, even when they are not at home.

How adults communicate, how they dress, how they behave in joy and sorrow, what programs they watch, what friends they choose - all this is of great importance. All your thoughts and feelings are reflected in the child’s behavior, and subsequently throughout your child’s life.
The child copies those around him, without choosing a good example or a bad one. Children are especially imitative during preschool and primary school age.

By our personal example we convince our children of the need correct behavior. It is by example, and not by advice, orders and moral teachings.

And you shouldn’t rush to take your child to a psychologist and start “treating” him.
Reconsider his environment, analyze your behavior, trace the chain of events and you will understand where the child has such unconventional behavior.

Who do girls usually play with? Of course, with the girls! Together they draw, dress up dolls, and play various games. What if your daughter is only friends with boys? Yes, this happens too. By the way, she also loved to play cars with the boys and often rode her bike with them. 🙂 At the same time, tomboy girls are indifferent to beautiful clothes and all sorts of bows and hairpins: whatever mom lets you wear, that’s fine. Is it necessary to correct my daughter’s behavior, and how to do it?

Is it worth it to correct my daughter’s behavior? First, try to understand yourself: how do you feel when you think that your daughter is not as “a girl” as you would like? Perhaps you feel ashamed in front of others (“what will people think?”). Or maybe you are angry with your child or disappointed in him? Or do you think that you are somehow raising your daughter wrong? Be that as it may, know that the girl feels how you treat her, and if negativity appears in the relationship between you, she may develop an inferiority complex regarding her “wrongness.” This is exactly what needs to be avoided.

Yes, it is not so easy to give up what you expect from your child. Yes, you would like to see more “girliness” in her. Yes, you would prefer that she played with girls more, loved dresses, watched fairy tales about princesses. So that she doesn’t play “Cossacks - robbers”, but games for girls.

Don't expect it to be exactly what you think it will be. Better take a closer look at your daughter and help her open up.

Of course, it is much easier to forbid her to play with boys, elevating it to the category of prohibitions. But will your prohibitions make her and you happy? Yes, your girl loves to ride a bike, build huts, go hiking, play. And if you now forbid her this, saying that the girl should behave differently, she may protest - as a reaction to any restriction. And in the end, you can completely turn her away from everything girlish: she will cut her hair short, wear only jeans and act like a boy. Do you want that?

Look at yourself not as a mother, but as a woman. Are you satisfied with your feminine essence? Do you like to put on makeup, dress up beautiful dresses and take care of yourself, trying to preserve your beauty? What is the privilege of femininity for you? But a daughter can only learn femininity from you, her mother, and if your femininity is free, open, blooming, warmed by the care and warmth of your beloved spouse, of course, your daughter will also want to be like you! 🙂