How to understand that you will be happy. Am I happy and what does this relationship give me? You are on the verge of emotional betrayal

We talk a lot about why girls are unhappy in relationships, what mistakes guys make, and how to recognize that his intentions are not the best, but we completely forget that there should be a place for an adequate conversation. Instead of complaining that he doesn't pay attention to you or disappears with his friends, think about it, maybe he's unhappy around you? Here are a few questions that will help you find out without scandals and without asking the main question head-on.

1. Where will we spend our holiday?

What could be more exciting than making grandiose plans for a future together? Unhappy couples don't do such things because they don't see or don't want to see that the relationship has prospects. Ask your boyfriend to plan your next trip - this question will show how willing he is to embark on complex planning, arguing, and financial commitments with you. If he is unhappy, he will most likely avoid the topic. Again, you shouldn’t sound the alarm right away; perhaps your boyfriend will say “no” because he understands that you won’t have time to save enough money or you have other plans. The main thing is “with you”.

2. Can I go with you?

If your boyfriend spends all his time without you and continues to plan his leisure time, ask him if you can join. It is quite possible that he is deliberately moving away from you. It is normal to have the right to privacy and a life outside of the relationship, but only when it is not on an ongoing basis.

3. What will we do on the weekend?

U different couples your own ideas about the weekend, but if you are left behind for the umpteenth time and suspect that it is not by chance, ask your boyfriend what you will do on the weekend next time. If he lets you know again that you're not in his plans, then you should talk about what's wrong.

4. Will you go to the store with me?

By inviting your guy to do something very boring or something that only relates to you, you can determine how strong your connection is. Such matters require patience, understanding and respect - all of which are present in a happy relationship. But if your boyfriend always avoids the other side life together, which means he does not want to take on any obligations. Your partner should meet halfway and strive to help you or at least find a compromise if something routine needs to be done.

5. Let's open a joint account?

Money is a universal way to understand who is next to you. It doesn’t matter how much you earn and spend individually, but how you approach budget sharing can be the answer to the main question: “Are you happy?”

If he doesn’t agree to the offer to open a joint account or start saving money for a vacation, an apartment, a car for you, it means that he has no common interests with you, and his own expenses are a priority. He may simply not be ready, he may be experiencing financial difficulties, which requires patience from you, but if you understand that this is not the case, then the problem is in your relationship.

6. Would you like to go have some fun?

After a hard day at work or experienced stress, you just need to relax. You can do this in any way you like, but it is unlikely that someone who is happy next to you will refuse an offer to do something that will bring you pleasure. If your partner doesn't like to have fun with you, then most likely he is unhappy in your relationship.

7. What good happened today?

By asking how his day was, you are showing interest in his life and support. Pay attention to whether he says something good or continues to complain and get angry? He may have problems - that's normal. But if everything that happens has been annoying him for a long time, there is a reason to talk frankly.

8. What is your dream life?

Such a question can be confusing, so many people avoid answering or speak at length. Not because they don’t love you, but because it’s hard. But such a question helps to see what a person is not satisfied with and how he is going to solve his problems. If there are no hints about you in his plans for the future, then there is reason to think: perhaps he does not want to be with you, but has not yet decided when to leave. Even if there is no threat to the relationship, the answer to this question will help him understand the basic values ​​​​of life, and you can give him advice if you are in the know.

9. What are you thinking about?

When you're in a bad mood, it's important to have some space to think. Such a question is a great way to find out what’s in the soul of the person you love, and show that you are open to conversation, want to listen and support. Listen carefully, do not interrupt and do not take everything as a personal insult. Then your boyfriend will be able to feel that he has no reason to hide anything from you, because you will understand everything.

10. Would you like to go on a double date?

Double dating is an activity that isn't suitable for all couples, and it's also a good indicator of whether your guy feels committed to the relationship. If he is comfortable with you, then there is no reason not to share this joy and not communicate with other happy people.

But if he is not happy in the relationship, then he will not agree to a double date.

The main thing is to find out from him why, so as not to speculate, but to know for sure: he is simply not a fan of spending time together or does not want to connect his life with you in front of witnesses.

11. Is everything okay? You look sad.

Sometimes the easiest way to find out what happened is to simply ask, without hints or coming from afar. If you've been trying to figure out if your boyfriend is happy around you for a long time, but you can't be sure if he's right, ask him why he looks unhappy and let him speak. If he avoids answering, this is also something that cannot be ignored. In happy relationships, people do not hide the reasons for their bad behavior from each other. emotional state, but maybe he is silent because you never gave him the opportunity to speak?

Every person dreams of a happy and strong marriage. According to recent studies, the divorce rate has dropped slightly in recent years. This is great news! But it would be even better to know the scientific basis for a strong family. Could there be a formula that can help you find happiness? What's the secret strong families? Two researchers from Emory University, Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, analyzed three thousand spouses to understand what factors can guarantee a longer lasting marriage. The results of their statistics turned out to be quite interesting. Of course, no recipe or secret has been discovered, but some signs may still indicate that your wedding is the beginning of a long and happy married life.

You dated for at least three years before getting engaged

Research shows that couples who were in a relationship for at least three years before getting engaged are 39 percent less likely to get divorced than those who dated for less than a year before getting engaged. According to science, there is no one rule or way to determine how long you should date before marriage. However, many experts are confident that a period of less than two years seriously increases the likelihood of divorce. If a couple has been dating for some time, we can say that the lovers are planning the future well and have excellent prospects. They get a chance to get to know each other better, which means that after the wedding their relationship will not face any special changes, while unfamiliar partners may be unpleasantly surprised after the ceremony.

Do you go to church regularly?

Here the statistics are absolutely clear: those who go to church are 46 percent less likely to get divorced. The study was conducted by Dr. Wilcox, director national project on the study of marriage. He concluded that people who do not have religious beliefs are more likely to get divorced. Religion largely determines whether a couple is able to make a marriage strong, but it does not in itself make the relationship better. It just changes the approach to marriage and creating a family, and especially the view on divorce. Regular visits to church reinforce these beliefs. If each partner believes that divorce is bad, the likelihood of divorce will naturally decrease.

You had a magnificent wedding

At first glance, this point seems to make no sense. However, it is a statistically proven fact that people who get married without guests are more likely to get divorced than those who throw a ceremony for two hundred people. People who have a large group of family and friends support them are more likely to form stable relationships. They look at family differently and value it highly, so they are ready to make more efforts to maintain relationships.

Your wedding didn't cost too much

It seems that this point contradicts the previous one, however, the statistics do not lie. The essence of this point is different - in this case, the size of the amount spent is important, and not the number of guests. How more money you spend on a wedding, the higher the likelihood of divorce becomes. The data showed that couples who spent a significant amount on the ceremony were 46 percent more likely to decide to divorce. On the contrary, those who organized the most budget-friendly holiday most likely will not get divorced. Perhaps the reason for this situation is the debts remaining after a magnificent wedding and causing tension. The wisest thing to do is to correctly calculate your expenses and not go beyond your financial capabilities, so as not to jeopardize your marriage.

You were on your honeymoon immediately after the wedding ceremony

Such a trip reduces the likelihood of divorce by forty-one percent! There's a reason to travel immediately after the ceremony. It's all about the wedding stress that builds up and ends with a long party with all your family and friends in attendance. All this stress and pressure can really take its toll on a relationship. Honeymoon gives you the opportunity to relax, strengthen your connection and take a break. Those couples who postpone the desired trip are seriously risking their relationship.

You have a high joint income

It's no secret that quarrels over money are one of the main reasons for divorce. Couples with stable high incomes are 51 percent less likely to get divorced. The higher the income, the lower the likelihood of separation. If your financial situation is not alarming, your family is also likely to be strong and stable.

You value inner beauty, not outer beauty

Everything is very simple here. If your priority list is too high physical attractiveness spouse, get ready to become part of the divorce statistics. However, this is most relevant for men - they are fifty percent more likely to get divorced when it seems to them that appearance partner determines the success of the relationship. If a family values ​​a person’s internal qualities rather than his appearance, the relationship will be healthier and stronger, and therefore long-term.

If someone came up to you on the street today and asked if you were happy, what would you answer?

Our mood is influenced by a lot of different things: crap at work, crap in our personal life, and as a result of this, several times a day we can turn from a happy and contented dude to an unhappy and forgotten dude and back. It would seem that nothing depends on us, but this is all bullshit: scientists say that, in a sense, happiness is everyone’s personal choice.

In fact, we are more than we think - we simply do not see the signals. It’s clear: you can’t avoid interview stress, conflict and depression, but not everything depends on it. To be happier, you just need to look at the bright side of things. There are even signs that will help you understand that you are truly happy.

You tell people Nice words, you make them happy: when you yourself are happy, you want those around you to be happy too. When you share happiness with someone, it strengthens and prolongs the bright streak.

Little things don't bother you

Missed the tram? Spilled coffee? And to hell with it. If you don't make tragedies out of little things that don't require attention, that's good sign: Looks like you're doing everything right. Those who don’t get hung up on annoying little things are happier with everything. Happy people, of course, do not deny that there are ups and downs in life - but it is still better to concentrate on what is good, and not on what has failed.

You appreciate the little things

It’s so nice when your favorite tune starts playing on Spotify and the icy road finally thaws! Little things in life are like spices in food: the overall impression depends on them. If you have something to be happy about, it's a good sign.

Are you proud of other people's successes?

A happy person not only does not focus on his own successes, but also cheers for others. When you celebrate someone else's victory, it strengthens the bond between you and that person. The day will come when they will congratulate you on something you have achieved.

This moment is important to you

Let's say you're sitting on a bench in the park, it's warm and pleasant there, birds, a pond, some kind of duck in the pond - it's beautiful! What does a happy dude do? He immediately begins to enjoy the situation and look at the landscape in every possible way and breathe in the air. What's the poor guy doing? He doesn’t notice anything and continues to think about how he should have responded to the rude guy on the subway.

You have normal relationships with everyone

Perhaps relationships with other people are the most important thing in our lives. If everything is fine with everyone, it’s easy to understand this by imagining that everything is bad: eternal quarrels with your girlfriend, misunderstandings with your parents, nothing but shit at work. How do you feel at this thought? Pleasant relief that this is not happening to you? In this case, you can rejoice, because many are less fortunate in this regard.

You know how to calm yourself down

Stress is the killer of everyone and everything. A psychotic person is an unhealthy, annoying and pathetic person. That is why it is necessary to be able to distinguish the first signs of tension in yourself and then elegantly, with a slight movement of the hand, return yourself to normal. How? Everyone has their own ways: take a break, get distracted, stretch, go for a walk. If you know yours, then you are a happy person!

You're not particularly interested in things

Money is not the equivalent of happiness. Many people buy themselves cool and numerous things, just so as not to feel unhappy, this does not help them, and they buy again - and so on ad infinitum. If you are not looking for the latest model of some gadget in the store, but are looking for good relations, plus for you.

Your glass is half full

Optimists are not those dudes who build castles in the air in an attempt to escape reality. These are dudes who see everything as it is, but prefer to focus on the good.

It's easy for you to make new friends

People like to surround themselves with dudes who make them feel good, so people gravitate towards you. Everyone likes happy faces because when they are around, things seem to start going better.

You've reached your goal

And you still have a ways to go. This will make anyone happy. He who sets high goals for himself is more satisfied with life than a lowly fool. It makes sense: if you have something to work on, you feel more valuable to yourself.

You sleep well

You may not be happy, but if you are not tossing and turning in endless attempts to fall asleep, this is a sign of happiness. Those who constantly experience positive emotions find it easier to sleep at night.

It can be very difficult to know if you are unhappy in a relationship, especially when it has been going on for a very long time. Sometimes you can confuse comfort with happiness, and this is not what you want. Are there ways to help you figure out whether you're happy in a relationship or not? Read on, I have 7 main signs for you that you should pay attention to.

1. Fear of responsibility

Understanding that you are unhappy in a relationship is not easy, but talking about something that doesn’t suit you is even more difficult. Are you constantly afraid of your responsibilities to your partner? Do you feel like you don't feel good together? Are you constantly thinking about ending this relationship? These are the signs you should pay attention to! You should want to be with your partner for the rest of your life if you're serious about it.

2. You have lost your real self.

What about the kind of person you really are? Have you truly opened up to your partner? Are you confident that you can be yourself around him? You should be who you really are and not be afraid of it. You must be frank and not close yourself off to your loved one. Usually this behavior becomes one of.

3. You play detective

While this may seem like a simple act of mistrust, you are most likely looking for any clue to break up with this person. Sometimes you are happy in this relationship, but most of the time you feel unhappy and want to end the relationship, you just don’t know how, so look for any reason.

4. Permanent depression

Depression haunts you constantly, especially within your relationships. When you think about your future and your partner, you begin to get lost in depressing thoughts and don’t even want to continue this anymore. Maybe, . This is your last chance.

5. Constantly thinking about life without your loved one

But this is definitely the beginning of the end. Are you constantly thinking about ending your relationship? How about just disappearing and never coming back? Many people do this, but it's just disgusting. And that's why many people disagree. But, if you can imagine your life without your partner, then what are you waiting for?

6. You keep your relationship a secret from others.

Does your family know that you are dating someone? What about your friends? These are the people who are constantly present in your life, and if you are ashamed of your relationship, then what is holding you back? What makes you think you need to hide your relationship? This is an important question to think about!

7. You are constantly unhappy with something.

However, if you haven’t noticed any of the above, but constantly complain about your partner, get angry with him because of every little thing - tell me after all, why are you with him? Indignation and indignation are a sufficient indication that you are unhappy in your relationship and do not want to be with your boyfriend.

Now that you already know what to look for to determine whether you are happy or not, what do you do? Do you want to continue to be unhappy? I'm waiting for your answers!

How to understand that you are unhappy
married?

How do you know if you are unhappy in your marriage?

7 steps to exposing happy couples

text:

How often, looking at someone, we think: “People are lucky. They love each other so much!” This really happens, but much less often than we think, and not at all with those who diligently demonstrate it. We have selected the most striking examples of how people try to convince themselves and others that they are happy in their marriage.

9 steps to exposing happy couples

How often, looking at someone, we think: “People are lucky. They love each other so much!” This really happens, but much less often than we think, and not at all with those who diligently demonstrate it. We have selected the most striking examples of how people try to convince themselves and others that they are happy in their marriage.

The lucky winner’s partner is recorded in the phone not by name or surname, but, for example, as “beloved”, “beloved”, “mine”, “hare”, “cat”, “cherry”, “swallow”, “sun” and other tops. If animal-fruit names can only speak of bad taste, then “beloved” is a diagnosis. It's weird to remind yourself that you love the person who's calling you. Don't you like his name? Or should others know that your heart is occupied? Don't make excuses, just listen to yourself.

2. Photos of loved ones on your desktop, wallet and phone.

If in America and Europe this tradition gave rise to the myth that family man you can trust that he is not a scoundrel or a fraudster who will disappear immediately after the deal is concluded, but in Russia this is done more likely to show off to friends. Well, tell me, why do you need a photo of your wife on the table if you see her in the evening? Or won't you see? Or is she a smiling, calm beauty in the photo, but in real life she’s a shrill, fading bitch that you’re pretty tired of? An abundance of photographs of a partner on the phone, as a rule, indicates the beginning of an affair. Then they migrate to the computer and sleep peacefully there. If you have been married for several years, and your phone is full of images of your partner, then most likely you know that he is rummaging through your phone, or you show them to someone and thus reassure yourself.

You were laughing with your friends over a dirty joke or just gloomily staring at the monitor, and then suddenly! - “darling” calls. Your voice becomes two octaves higher than usual, and a lisping and lulling intonation, unusual for you, flows into the receiver. Everything is fine. Everyone is calm. The house is in order.

4. The house is like a passage yard.

There is always someone in the house of such a couple. One stopped by for tea, the other brought him to meet new girl, the third one was delayed since yesterday evening. No solo dinners. Companies, parties, noise, no time to think, no time to talk - and thank God. You never know what we can agree on. And it’s no longer clear what to talk about.

1. Change your name on your phone.

The lucky winner’s partner is recorded in the phone not by name or surname, but, for example, as “beloved”, “beloved”, “mine”, “hare”, “cat”, “cherry”, “swallow”, “sun” and other tops. If animal-fruit names can only speak of bad taste, then “beloved” is a diagnosis. It's weird to remind yourself that you love the person who's calling you. Don't you like his name? Or should others know that your heart is occupied? Don't make excuses, just listen to yourself.

2. Photos of loved ones
on the desktop,
in your wallet and phone.

If in America and Europe this tradition was generated by the myth that a family man can be trusted, because he is not a scoundrel or a swindler who will disappear immediately after the deal is concluded, then in Russia this is done rather to show off to friends. Well, tell me, why do you need a photo of your wife on the table if you see her in the evening? Or won't you see? Or is she a smiling, calm beauty in the photo, but in real life she’s a shrill, fading bitch that you’re pretty tired of? An abundance of photographs of a partner on the phone, as a rule, indicates the beginning of an affair. Then they migrate to the computer and sleep peacefully there. If you have been married for several years, and your phone is full of images of your partner, then most likely you know that he is rummaging through your phone, or you show them to someone and thus reassure yourself.

5. Children are like a shield.

All conversations alone and among friends come down to children - their activities, illnesses, funny phrases. Sex twice a month is explained by the fact that tomorrow Mashenka has to go to kindergarten at seven and in general “we’ll wake up the children.” There is nothing wrong with this, it is quite possible that you have become closer to each other and feel that this person is your relative, but if you remember your partner only in connection with the fact that Petechka is at school Parent meeting, then most likely your love is gone. Such a marriage can be very strong, but only until the children grow up and leave home.

Oddly enough, when you are in love, your jealousy is more likely to be justified. Your status is still precarious, your feelings are acute, you want to take possession of the object of your love and not share it with anyone. Jealousy is exciting at first. But if it crawls out after three or four years, this is not a good signal. Oddly enough, the first to become jealous is the one who wanted to go to the left himself, or the one who has already gone there. “If I am yes, then she, quite possibly, already is.” This should not be confused with passion that suddenly flared up again. You are bored with this person, you are not eager to have sex with him, but for someone else? Well, I do not. Goodbye love, hello fear.

7. Ignoring your partner.

If at work, on trips or with friends you prefer not to mention the existence of your partner, this is a sign. Consciously or subconsciously, you want it to evaporate, everything to be as before and you would live some other life. You throw your head back as you burst into laughter, love new acquaintances and are ready for dizzying adventures. The main thing is that no one around you sees through and understands that a dull “it” awaits you at home - no laughter, no acquaintances, no adventures. When asked about your family, you become scowling and with your entire appearance make it clear that your personal life is of no concern to anyone but you. Never bring your partner to parties and drinking parties, saying that he is bored there. In fact, you are afraid to appear in front of your friends together. Because then they will understand. For now, only you understand.

8. Partner protruding.

If, out of place or not, you immediately talk about how yesterday you and your wife did this, and tomorrow this, then you are desperately trying to remind yourself and others about what a long and happy family life you have. People around you know about your family life more than about your own: anniversaries, memorable dates, sexual preferences, success at work. Your goal is to make sure that when you appear in society, you are highlighted in the eyes of others with the tags of a successful life: stability, love, a successful marriage, strong relationships. But you don’t pretend that you don’t have a hand, or you don’t talk all day long about the fact that you have a hand? You just have her, you accept her for who she is, and you are happy together. It's the same with marriage.

9. Clear planning and coordination of actions.

Life-giving chaos has long since left the relationship, and only destructive chaos remains. Therefore, in order to break through all the intricacies of family life and simply not be able to remain in silence with each other, you need to think through the details of spending time together. You signed up for ballroom dancing lessons, go to language meetings on Saturdays, go to the sauna with friends on Fridays, and visit relatives for brunch on Sundays. It seems that if you have to make even one spontaneous decision, then you will not survive this day together alone with each other and your whole life will go downhill.

You were laughing with your friends over a dirty joke or just gloomily staring at the monitor, and then suddenly! - “darling” calls. Your voice becomes two octaves higher than usual, and a lisping and lulling intonation, unusual for you, flows into the receiver. Everything is fine. Everyone is calm. The house is in order.

4. The house is like a passage yard.

5. Children are like a shield.

There is always someone in the house of such a couple. One dropped in for tea, another brought a new girl to meet, the third stayed late since last night. No solo dinners. Companies, parties, noise, no time to think, no time to talk - and thank God. You never know what we can agree on. And it’s no longer clear what to talk about.

All conversations alone and among friends come down to children - their activities, illnesses, funny phrases. Sex twice a month is explained by the fact that tomorrow Mashenka has to go to kindergarten at seven and in general “we’ll wake up the children.” There is nothing wrong with this, it is quite possible that you have become closer to each other and feel that this person is your relative, but if you remember your partner only because Petechka has a parent-teacher meeting at school, then most likely your love is gone. Such a marriage can be very strong, but only until the children grow up and leave home.

6. Unjustified jealousy and suspicion.

7. Ignoring your partner.

Oddly enough, when you are in love, your jealousy is more likely to be justified. Your status is still precarious, your feelings are acute, you want to take possession of the object of your love and not share it with anyone. Jealousy is exciting at first. But if it crawls out after three or four years, this is not a good signal. Oddly enough, the first to become jealous is the one who wanted to go to the left himself, or the one who has already gone there. “If I am yes, then she, quite possibly, already is.” This should not be confused with passion that suddenly flared up again. You are bored with this person, you are not eager to have sex with him, but for someone else? Well, I do not. Goodbye love, hello fear.

If at work, on trips or with friends you prefer not to mention the existence of your partner, this is a sign. Consciously or subconsciously, you want it to evaporate, everything to be as before and you would live some other life. You throw your head back as you burst into laughter, love new acquaintances and are ready for dizzying adventures. The main thing is that no one around you sees through and understands that a dull “it” awaits you at home - no laughter, no acquaintances, no adventures. When asked about your family, you become scowling and with your entire appearance make it clear that your personal life is of no concern to anyone but you. Never bring your partner to parties and drinking parties, saying that he is bored there. In fact, you are afraid to appear in front of your friends together. Because then they will understand. For now, only you understand.