Consultation for parents "How to teach a child not to interrupt adults." consultation on the topic

"Mother!" “Well, mom!..” And in response: “Don’t interrupt! Do you see me talking?” Common situation? The kid really wants to quickly tell him something very important to him, but you can’t quickly interrupt a conversation on the phone or with a friend. After all, you are an adult, you know everything, and you know that the child interrupts only to draw attention to himself, to distract him just for a couple of seconds.

But you're absolutely wrong. A child has a bunch of thoughts and ideas running through his head. And if he doesn’t quickly share his discoveries, then all this will simply “fly away” further, and the child will be upset. In addition, children aged 3-5 years old believe that all the attention of their parents belongs only to him, and there is absolutely nothing wrong if he asks for a little attention for himself, even if mom or dad is at that moment busy with something very important, like them seems like a conversation.

Yes, you can endlessly have conversations with a preschooler on the topic “You can’t interrupt adults,” and someday, by the age of 6, the child will learn this lesson... But rest assured that a child aged 3-5 years will be done in a few minutes. he will forget what he just agreed to. And this is not the child’s bad manners. Psychologists say that absolutely all children go through this stage. preschool age(after all, this is when the period of “why” begins, when the child needs to know the answers to all the questions that suddenly arise in the child’s head). Also, children 3-5 years old cannot wait longer than 5 minutes. Be prepared for the fact that after this time the baby will again begin to demand your attention.

Important!

Psychologists say that you should never ignore a child at these moments. If you begin to either ignore his demand, or even begin to get angry and drive him away from you, you can only make your preschooler angry and want to annoy you.

The first words, the first phrases... How happy we are that a child can speak! Time passes and we notice that the child not only learned to talk to adults, he learned to interrupt adults.
You need to know that when a child interrupts an adult or inserts himself into a conversation without asking, this may mean that he:

• does not know how to listen;
• shows aggression towards the one he interrupted;
• does not have sufficient patience;
• wants to attract the attention to which he is accustomed, being the center of the family universe;
• does not receive enough parental attention.

"Politeness costs nothing, but brings a lot."M. Montagu

It is known that the appearance of impatience is associated with a feeling of anxiety and is typical for children with increased nervous tension. When a child talks a lot, interferes in the conversations of adults and other children, and invades other people's games, this may be one of the symptoms of hyperactivity.

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"Polite" in explanatory dictionary Russian language is defined as observing the rules of decency, well-mannered and courteous. A. Barto gave us a vivid description of an ignorant child who has ruined relationships in the family in her poem “The Ignorant Bear,” rightly suggesting that “there are such bears among the children!”

“How to teach a child not to interrupt adults”

1. Agree in advance with your child that when a guest comes to you and you talk to him, the baby, for example, will play alone in his room. Explain that you are busy right now. Ask to remember what the child wants to tell you so that you can listen to him when you finish the conversation with the guest. Ask your child to draw and write what he wants to tell you.
2. Set an example for your child and do not get involved in someone else's conversation unless necessary.
3. Consider age: than younger child, the more difficult it is for him to restrain himself in anticipation of a pause in the conversation.
4. Do not use phrases such as “You interrupted me!”, “Only bad boys do that,” “It’s not good to interrupt adults,” etc.
5. Teach polite ways to interrupt a conversation: the phrase “Please excuse me for having to interrupt you!” can become truly magical.
6. Praise your child for finding something to do while you were busy talking.
7. Never interrupt your child yourself!

Why children2-3 years old constantly interrupt adults Find out how parents should react to this and what to do to minimize the child’s attempts to intervene in the conversation at the wrong time from our material.

A 2-year-old child considers himself the center of the universe and thinks that the world and everything that is in it (including parents) exists only for him. At this age, the short-term is not yet sufficiently developed, which means that the baby’s need to tell you something right away, before he forgets it, has a purely physiological basis.

While for a child the very concept of “interrupting” an adult does not make any sense. He cannot yet realize that there are other people and activities that sometimes also require your attention and are of some interest to you. This also means that anything that takes your attention away from him, such as a phone call, is a threat.

If your child interrupts and interferes in the conversation every time you chat with friends or make an appointment, this, of course, is annoying. But if you think about how, you will understand that such actions are not aimed at deliberately driving you crazy. And don't worry, there is still light at the end of the tunnel. When your child is 3-4 years old, he will begin to understand what “interrupting” means and what it means to ask “please don’t interrupt.” Short-term memory will already be developed so much that he will be able to retain a thought (for a couple of minutes for sure).

What to do if your child interrupts

While the baby is only 2-3 years old, the best way out For parents, it will be to minimize situations in which a child can interrupt adults. Distraction will also help if he has already interrupted your conversation.

Choose the right location. It’s possible if you invite friends to your home, where the child can play quietly and you can talk. A park with a sandbox is also perfect for these purposes.

Divide into teams. If you and your husband are dating another couple with a child, you can solve the problem by dividing into teams - two chat, two watch the children, switch and repeat. And, as strange as it may sound, it’s a good idea to sometimes hire a babysitter for a couple of hours while you have coffee with friends, so as not to go crazy.

Read and teach. and behavior can and should be instilled in a child from an early age; to do this, read him funny and instructive children's books, including those about how children should not interrupt adults.

Schedule phone calls. Instead of stopping every time you have a telephone conversation when your child interrupts, call whoever you need while you are still asleep or have already gone to bed in the evening. Another proven method is TV or cartoon on the computer. If you don't allow your children to watch TV on principle, try redirecting your child's attention.

Keep a box of toys, pencils, or something else interesting for your baby on hand to use while talking. You can also give your child a toy phone so that he can also chat with an imaginary friend. Entertain your child by asking them to say “hello” to the person you are talking to, but if the child is too sociable, do not overuse this technique, otherwise you will be the third wheel in the conversation.

But if your baby likes to wander around the house, place the playpen where you most often sit down to chat on the phone. If the child is calm and good mood, you can easily hold him in your arms and hug him while you talk - this will let him know that he is more important to you than everyone else, even if you are distracted.

Model the behavior. Little children love to imitate adults' behavior, so use this to your advantage by showing them. If you and your husband interrupt each other mid-sentence, try to get rid of this habit. Also, do not interrupt your child when he is telling you something.

Every time you interrupt him or someone else, stop and say, “Sorry, I interrupted you. Continue". If you're lucky, the child will not only have the ability to beautifully admit a mistake. You will also make it easier for yourself if you often use “sorry”, “I beg your pardon”, “thank you”, “You’re welcome”, “please”. Perhaps the child will not immediately understand the meaning of these “magic” words, but he will certainly feel that it is always pleasant to be around people who use such words.

Don't give up if it doesn't work out at first. At times, when your child interrupts your conversation for the fourth time best friend or waves a truck in your face during an important phone call and you feel like you're on the edge—don't give up. After all, this is important for both you and your child, so that he learns. And this will take time.

Conducting dialogue in a respectful and polite manner is an important step towards becoming social personality child. Moreover, if you do not interrupt adults and interrupt in the middle of a sentence, then your ability to concentrate on a thought will become so fragmented that you will have difficulty finishing a sentence, regardless of whether you are interrupted or not.

The topic of our conversation today is simple and complex at the same time. In fact, today no one is able to give an exhaustive answer to the question: is interrupting rude or, conversely, a sign of active participation in the conversation? Why is it sometimes so difficult to adhere to the classical culture of speech? How to stop interrupting each other, or doing it unnoticed by others?

Oh times, oh morals

In traditional society, it is believed that interrupting an interlocutor is very bad. And the only reason why a person can stop affording something like this is because bad upbringing, or a vulgar attempt to attract attention to one’s person. However, these norms of etiquette came to us from those distant times, when people’s lives were several times slower and calmer, there was little new information in principle, and mannered conversations “about nothing” were one of the few entertainments of the “pre-electric” era.

Since then, society has changed a lot, and the further we go, the faster these changes occur. During times of heyday and enormous information processing loads, the reasons for being interrupted can be completely natural. Whether to blame our attachment to various gadgets for the new features of the human brain is another question...

Simply put, one of the most common reasons for interrupting an interlocutor is that the person is simply afraid of forgetting his question, idea or comment. Because we talk many times faster and more information-rich than even a hundred years ago. We jump from topic to topic, and after a couple of minutes sometimes we can’t even remember how it all started!

Often, the desire to interrupt the interlocutor, to insert some remark, to clarify an incomprehensible statement is the same contribution to the conversation as new ideas, and a return to what was said, and argumentation. In modern journalism, it is believed that interrupting is a sign of active participation in the conversation, and by a person who is quite interested.

Interruptions are almost inevitable when a dialogue turns into an argument - unless it is a scientific or political debate, where there is no room for the expression of ordinary human emotions. This phenomenon is also characteristic of large groups of people: the more participants in the conversation who simultaneously want to speak, the more the conversation resembles television talk shows (in other words, a chicken coop).

How to teach not to interrupt?

The child, among other things, has his own reasons for interrupting adults. Even if we exclude the possibility that he is simply copying the communication style of other family members (“why can they do it, but suddenly I can’t?”), you need to understand that preschool children are by nature self-centered - this is normal. And if they need something from adults, they try to communicate it immediately. Moreover, children perceive time completely differently, and seconds of waiting, in our understanding, last much longer for them...

In general, being angry with a child and giving him harsh lectures about how to respect elders is unfair and useless. Remember how at school we were just taught to raise our hand when we wanted to say something? At that moment, when the teacher asked a question and the students knew the answer, many could not stand it and shouted from their seats. Others jumped up and down on hard chairs and looked at the teacher with pleading eyes. It was not so easy to just hold your tongue! For some, this “syndrome” subsequently persisted into high school...

And there’s nothing to say about preschoolers. Probably every parent is familiar with the situation when, during a conversation with someone, a small son or daughter pulls his sleeve and interrupts. But if you are firmly convinced that you need to teach your child to behave like an adult as early as possible, do not use rude phrases like “don’t interrupt!”, “don’t get involved in the conversation!” or “wait!” - It’s better to take note of a simple technique that will help solve this problem once and for all.

When your child needs something from you, just have him put his hand on your wrist and wait a few seconds. In response, without looking up from the conversation, place your hand on top of the child’s hand - so that he knows that you paid attention and remember his presence. When you have finished your thought, turn to your child and listen carefully to reinforce the positive attitude towards waiting your turn. Give a comprehensive answer or provide him with the help he asked for - and everyone will only benefit.

How to interrupt correctly?

As mentioned above, interrupting is not always a bad thing. And sometimes it's not at all the only way return the conversation to its original course and get the information you need. The ability to maintain a conversation and at the same time “direct” the interlocutor in a timely manner without hurting his feelings will be very useful for teenagers who, in addition to their peers who are already “accustomed to everything,” begin to communicate meaningfully with people of all ages.

It must be remembered that the interlocutor always gives us the opportunity to interrupt him. But this must be done in such a way that he does not decide that our questions are much more interesting to us than his answers. To begin with, let us note: no one ever speaks without pauses, which, if desired, can be recognized in time. Certain verbal and non-verbal signals can serve as a hint:

The interlocutor intonationally indicates that he is ending the period of speech, or his gestures indicate that it is time to stop and change the topic
= the interlocutor’s speech is drawn out and it is felt that he is having difficulty with the final phrase; but not while he is looking for the right words, while raising his eyes up - this is a signal that you should not interrupt him (“uh-uh”, “well-uh-uh”, “how should I say this”, etc. .)
= the interlocutor, to take a breath, uses the following expressions: “so”, “nevertheless”, “and yet”, “well, what else can I say”, etc.

There is no question that cannot be asked based on any thought or phrase of your interlocutor. When, taking advantage of a pause in his words, we ask a question, on the one hand, confirming that we hear him, and on the other, directing the conversation in the direction we need, mutual understanding not only does not disappear, but is strengthened. This is not perceived as tactlessness at all.

It is not forbidden to interrupt even if the interlocutor does not answer the question we pose. However, you should not do this in a harsh manner: “I’m sorry, but you still haven’t answered my question.” It’s better to make a nice gesture and, as it were, take responsibility: “Sorry, I probably formulated my question unclearly, I’ll try to rephrase it...”

How to teach a child not to interrupt elders? Simple technique from a wise mother.

Children usually have a lot going on. Often they are just itching to say something and run straight to me to tell me what's on their mind, regardless of whether I'm already talking to someone. That's how they got used to it. This was before I saw this truly brilliant method from my friend.

How to simply teach your child not to interrupt

I was chatting with her one day when her (then 3 year old) son wanted to say something. Instead of interrupting our conversation, he simply placed his hand on her wrist and waited. My friend put her hand on top of his to give him a sign and we continued talking.

After she finished her conversation, she turned to him. I was delighted! So simple. So soft. So respectful for both the child and the adult. Her son had to wait a few seconds for his mother to finish her sentence before she turned her full attention to him.

My husband and I immediately adopted this technique. We explained to the kids that if they wanted to talk and someone was already talking, they should put their hands on our wrists and wait.

It took a little practice and a few gentle pressures on our own wrists as gentle reminders, but I'm glad the kids stopped interrupting us!

No more “Wait” or “Don’t interrupt adults.” Just a simple gesture - lightly touch your wrist. That's all. It works! published