Stories from when I was little. When I was a kid

When I was little, various funny stories happened to me. I didn’t remember them myself, but my dad and mom, and even my grandmothers, told me about them.

Sun

I was about three years, I got sick and didn’t go to kindergarten, my mother and I stayed at home.
Mom was cooking something in the kitchen, and I went up to her and asked her for a bowl of jam. The jam was strawberry. A few minutes later I came with an empty bowl for another portion of jam. Mom was surprised, but poured me more. Well, when I came for the third time and said: “Renya.” Mom decided to see where I was taking it. And entering the room, she froze in place: on the light lilac carpet, the sun and rays were laid out with strawberries, and the middle was filled with jam syrup.

Boots

My dad took me to kindergarten and my mom picked me up. stood in the yard early spring and the roads were slippery. I often fell and my mother or father had to lift me, and sometimes carry me in their arms.
And then one evening I went up to my dad and said:
- And I know why I’m falling.
- Why? - Dad asked me.
“It’s just that my boots don’t have eyes.” And they don’t see where they need to go and walk on the ice.
“Well then, they need to glue their eyes on,” said dad, after thinking a little.
We took scissors and adhesive tape, cut out two eye circles and glued them to my boots.
Then I proudly told everyone that my boots don’t drop me anymore, because they have eyes and they see everything.

Best friend

My grandmother Toma had a spaniel dog. Her name was Jinka. But it was difficult for me to pronounce Jinka and I managed to pronounce Jinka. She and I were best friends.
Every summer we lived at the dacha, there was a large clearing in the yard overgrown with clover (now it is gone, our house now stands in this place), and Jinka and I loved to sit and play in this clearing. I tried on my panama hats and hats on the dog, tied my ears with bows, but she endured everything. She probably liked it too.
And then one day my mother’s brother, Uncle Gena, came to us and brought me a Pik-nik chocolate bar. Jinka and I, as always, sat down on the blanket that my mother had laid out for us on the grass and began to eat a candy bar. First I took a bite, and Jinka fidgeted on the blanket and squealed with impatience. And then I handed the bar to her, She carefully took a bite and chewed it for a long time, snorting funny. So we ate it, and Jinka even licked the wrapper.
Well, when my mother scolded us, we ran out of the gate out of resentment and harm. But we were not allowed to do this. And that’s why the gates were always closed. But we found a way: Jinka arched her back a little and ducked under the gate. I got on all fours and, like my girlfriend, arched my back and crawled under them. Well, then we were scolded again for running away from the yard.
That's how cheerful my girlfriend was.

When I was little, Fedka fell in love with me. He gave me a very beautiful antique porcelain, slightly bald doll in a lace dress.

But I fell in love with the science teacher. I exchanged the doll for a guinea pig and gave it to him.

And the natural history teacher fell in love with the physical education teacher. I sold a guinea pig at the Poultry Market, bought a hefty weight and gave it to my physical education teacher.

And we all got scarlet fever. But it wasn’t from a doll, or a guinea pig, or a weight that we got infected. We got infected from the Hero Soviet Union pilot-cosmonaut Zatykaichenko, who came to our school and shook hands with all the teachers, and personally patted each student on the head.

Well, I’m lying about everything, because astronauts don’t get scarlet fever...

How I became a girl

When I was little, I was a boy. Well, first as a boy, and then she became a girl.

This is how it was. As a boy, I was a hooligan and always offended girls. And then one day, when I was pulling the pigtails of two girls at once, a wizard walked by and shook his head. And in the evening I turned into a girl. My mother was surprised and delighted, because she always wanted a daughter. And I began to live as a girl.

Oh, the girl’s life was not sweet! They kept pulling my pigtails, teasing me, tripping me up, and dousing me with nasty puddle water from sprinklers. And when I cried or complained, they called me a sneak and a crybaby.

One day I shouted to the offending boys:

Hey! Wait a minute! They'll turn you into girls, then you'll find out!

The boys were very surprised. And I told them what happened to me. They, of course, got scared and didn’t hurt the girls anymore. They just treated us to sweets and invited us to the circus.

I liked this life, and I no longer began to turn back into a boy.

How my name was chosen

When I was little, I really didn't like my name. Well, where is this good for - Ksyusha? That's only what cats are called. Of course, I wanted to be called something nice. In our class, one girl’s name was Elvira Cherezzabornoguzaderischenskaya. The teacher’s pen even broke while she was writing this girl down in the journal. In general, I was terribly offended, I came home and cried:

Why do I have such a funny and ugly name?!

“What are you doing, daughter,” my mother said. - Your name is simply wonderful. After all, as soon as you were born, all our relatives gathered at our house and began to think about what to name you. Uncle Edik said that the name Prepedigna would suit you very well, and grandfather decided that you should just be called Rocket.

But Aunt Vera believed that there was nothing more beautiful in the world than the name Golendukh. Golenduha! After all, that was the name of your fourth great-great-grandmother! She was such a beauty that the king married her. And she made him jam from young fly agarics, so tasty that he ate it to death. And everyone was very happy, because this king was very harmful and evil. He canceled birthdays and fought all the time with anyone. Horror, not a king! But after him another king came - cheerful and kind. What a great fellow your fourth great-great-grandmother is! She was even given a badge: “Excellent in fighting evil kings”!

And so Aunt Vera suggested calling you Golendukha. “What other Golendukha?!” - Aunt Masha shouted and even threw a plate of raspberry jelly at Aunt Vera. The plate hit Aunt Vera’s head and made a hole in it. I had to take Aunt Vera to the hospital. And there such a kind and skillful doctor quickly sewed up the holey head, so that not a trace remained. This kind doctor's name was Ksyusha Igorevna Paramonova. It was in her honor that we named you Ksyusha.

Since then I even like my name a little. After all, all sorts of Golendukhs are even worse!

Fake teeth and cuckoo clock

When I was little, many other people were also little. For example, my friend Alyosha. He and I sat at the same desk.

Then one day the teacher says to him:

Well, Alexey, read by heart the poem I assigned for homework.

And he says:

I didn't learn it. My last baby tooth fell out yesterday. And even a runny nose began...

And the teacher says:

So what? ALL my teeth have fallen out, and I go to work.

And how he will take all the teeth out of his mouth at once! We were so scared! Irka Belikova even cried. And our teacher’s teeth were simply not real. Then the director entered the classroom. And I was scared too. But he didn't cry. He brought another teacher to us - cheerful and with real teeth that cannot be removed from her mouth.

And that teacher was given a cuckoo clock and sent to a well-deserved rest - retirement, that is. It would have been like this a long time ago!

When I was little

When I was little, I was very forgetful. I’m still forgetful now, but before it was just terrible!..

In the first grade, I forgot to come to school on the first of September, and had to wait a whole year next first September to go straight to the second.

And in the second grade, I forgot my backpack with textbooks and notebooks, and I had to return home. I took the backpack, but forgot the way to school and only remembered it in the fourth grade. But in the fourth grade I forgot to comb my hair and came to school completely shaggy. And in the fifth, she mixed up whether it was autumn, winter or summer, and instead of skis she brought fins to physical education. And in the sixth grade, I forgot that I had to behave decently at school, and stomped into class on my hands. Like an acrobat! But in the seventh grade... Oh, wow... I forgot again. Well, I'll tell you later when I remember.

Nasty old ladies

When I was little, I was very nasty. I’m still disgusting now, but before I was just terrible.

This is what they tell me:

Ksyushenka, go eat!

Pe-pe-pe-pe-pe!..

It's embarrassing to even remember.

And then one spring I was walking in the Hermitage garden and sticking my tongue out at everyone. Two old women in berets walked past and asked me:

Girl, what's your name?

Hooray! - the old women jumped for joy. - Finally, we found a girl named Nikak. Here's a letter for you.

And they jumped away. The letter said:

“A girl named Nikak! Please scratch your right ear with your left foot!”

"Here's another! - I thought. - I really need it!"

In the evening, my mother, Aunt Lisa, and I went to Children's World. Mom and Aunt Lisa held my hands tightly so that I wouldn’t get lost. And suddenly my right ear itched terribly! I began to pull my hands out. But mom and Aunt Lisa only squeezed my hands tighter. Then I tried to scratch my ear with my right foot. But I couldn’t reach it... And I had to contrive and scratch my right ear with my left foot.

And as soon as I did this, I immediately grew a big curly mustache. And so do all the other children. In the “Children's World” there was a terrible squeal - these were mothers and fathers who were afraid of their mustachioed children! And they quickly ran to the doctors and police. But doctors were not able to cure the mustachioed children immediately, but only after a few days.

But the police immediately caught two nasty old women wearing berets. These old women have been walking around Moscow for a long time and doing all sorts of outrageous things. Only they were already quite old, and their disgust was not enough for outrages. Therefore, they looked for nasty boys and girls and made mischief with their help.

"Wow! - I thought. “It turns out that nasty girls become nasty old ladies?..”

I didn’t want to become such an old lady, and I stopped being nasty.

Enchanted snow

When I was little, I loved eating snow. As soon as there is even a little snow, I immediately go outside and eat, eat, eat...

Until I get caught and scolded. And no one could wean me off this terribly dangerous habit for my health.

And then one day, when winter came, I immediately ate the snow. And he was not simple, but enchanted. And I turned into a cake.

My mother comes home from work, and instead of me in the kitchen there is cake.

Wow! Cake! - Mom was happy.

She was only surprised that I wasn’t at home, and then she thought that I had gone to Ninka Akimova’s next door. And I couldn’t tell her anything at all - after all, cakes can’t talk! Mom put me in the refrigerator. I turned not into a simple cake, but into an ice cream cake. Mom waited for me a little, and then finally decided to eat a piece of cake. She took me out of the refrigerator, picked up a sharp knife... And then the cake started spraying in different directions! Mom tasted the spray. And they were not sweet at all, but salty, like tears. Mom took a closer look and noticed that there were red bows sculpted on the cream cake - exactly the same as the ones in my pigtails. It was then that my mother suspected something was wrong. And she quickly called a rescue squad of three wizards and two ice cream makers. All together they disenchanted me and turned me back into a girl.

Since then, I often have a runny nose - I caught a cold in the refrigerator. And I don’t eat snow anymore, although sometimes I want to.

What if he's bewitched again?

Hooligan

When I was little, I loved riding my bike through the forest. He tinkled so coolly, jumping over snags, I rushed along the brown forest road, hedgehogs and frogs scattered to the sides, and the sky was reflected in the deep transparent puddles.

And then one evening I was driving through the forest and met a hooligan.

“Hey, redhead,” the bully said in an ill-mannered voice. - Well, get off the bike.

The hooligan's eyes were sad and sad. I immediately realized that he had a difficult childhood.

Well, why are you staring? - asked the bully. - Get down quickly, I need to go to the sea.

Cunning! - I said. - I really want to go to the sea too. You'll take me on the trunk.

And off we went.

How will we get to the sea? - I asked.

“Easy,” said the hooligan. “You just have to drive along the river bank all the time, and someday it will eventually flow into the sea.”

We drove along the bank of a small dark forest river.

Then it will expand,” the bully promised. - Steamships will start sailing, and we will get to the sea on a passing ship.

At sea we will only eat watermelons for breakfast! - I said.

And for lunch - roach, chewing gum and pickles!

And for dinner - jump up loudly and play the guitar!

We went out into the field. Wind started to blow. I pressed my ear to the hooligan’s back and heard his hooligan heart beating. It was getting dark. The river did not widen and did not widen, and no passing ships were visible. I remembered my mother, Aunt Lisa and the cat Arbuzik. How they wait for me, look out the window, and then cry, call the police, “ Ambulance"and firefighters too, just in case.

Hey! - I tapped the hooligan’s back. - Stop it, I need to go home.

What about the sea?

“Then somehow,” I promised. - Next time.

The bully's eyes became even sadder.

“Oh, you,” he said, “a coward.”

And you are a hooligan!

But when I grow up, I won’t marry you,” said the bully, got off his bike and left.

The most interesting thing is that it turned out that way! The king married me, and the evil sorcerer, and the astronaut, and the fool. And the bully didn’t marry!!! I haven't even seen him since then. He's probably grown up and has a real beard.

But that's a completely different story.

When I was little, there were many wonderful, unprecedented and wonderful animals in our forests. Read...

This is what is happening in schools now! That's the story...

Some people remember their childhood, but others don’t. Some people keep their childhood photographs, considering them their treasure, while others say that these are the stupidest years of their lives. Some describe their childhood in vivid colors, while others, on the contrary, claim that they had a difficult childhood. I think it's good that it existed at all...

Childhood is a period of discoveries, small and large. Ask your grandmother one day to talk about her childhood. (She will start with a phrase that contains special magic, this phrase is like a narrow path to the most important period of life, with this phrase the door of the past will creak slightly, the cobwebs on it will come off, and you will understand a lot about your grandmother. Try it sometime !) So: “When I was little...” By the way, adults’ eyes dance during these stories summer sun, a faint pinkish blush appears on the face, a gentle smile, and the gaze, so similar to this photo from their children’s album, is focused on one specific object that an adult does not see at all - this is a look behind that very door, into the very soul , in those same memories.

Personally, I don’t remember my childhood very well. If you imagine your whole life as a film, then my film is torn, i.e. there are a lot of gaps in it. I don’t remember a lot, I forgot. When I was little, I was very thoughtful. Probably, this made me at least a little different from other children. I remember that in kindergarten, when we were walking, all the children were chatting with each other, and I was almost always alone. The teachers told my mother that it was like I was in my own world. My mother asked me what I was dreaming about, that during the walk I didn’t go down the slide with other children, didn’t play “catch up”... I said that I just didn’t want to. I would like to note that my mother thought that I was dreaming. But dreaming and thinking are different things... What else do I remember that was so interesting? I remember how I showed off my new dress to everyone. I didn’t remember the dress itself very well, it seemed to be white, with black spots - like a jaguar’s. But my mother said that she gave it to me. I was so happy about this! If she had told me that she bought this dress, then my attitude would probably have been different. It's amazing how children can tell the difference between words.

I remember how we drew cards for the holiday on February 23rd. Then I thought something like this: “What kind of holiday is February 23? Dad says it's Defender of the Fatherland Day. What is this? There is such a holiday - March 8, Women's Day. Is it the same on February 23?” And one boy, Sasha, came up and asked who to give him a postcard to, to which the teacher answered with a smile:

- Give it to dad.
“But I don’t have a dad,” Sasha said embarrassedly, “and I don’t have a grandfather...

When my mother picked me up from kindergarten, I told her about Sasha and asked:

- How is it that there is no dad? What about grandfathers? Where did they go? Who should I give Sasha a postcard to? Mom smiled at me sadly and answered:

- Polinochka, it happens that dad is not there, maybe there was an accident and... And grandpa too, maybe...

I understood her. I took everything so close to my heart that when dad and mom were actively discussing something, in high tones, I thought they were quarreling. I went into their room and said:
- Mom, dad, don't quarrel! I don’t want to have no one like Sasha to give a postcard to!
“We’re not quarreling, we just argued a little,” my mother answered with a smile.
“I won’t leave you girls anywhere.” How can I live without you? I'll be lost! - Dad laughed. But I was still worried.

One day my mother was hospitalized. Not exactly in the hospital, she had surgery on her nose. It was very urgent, as my father explained to me, or my mother would not be able to breathe. I was very worried about her, very much. The days were not so sunny, not so joyful. At that time I was living with my grandmother, and when my dad picked me up from kindergarten, I was very surprised. Dad was so happy, so joyful. Unable to bear it, he asked me:
- Polinka, do you miss your mom?
- Certainly! I even learned a poem while I was at my grandmother’s so I could tell her. Will she be back from the hospital soon? I miss you so much! She promised me that...

And the rest of the way I chatted incessantly.
And here we are standing at the apartment. Dad opens the door, and mom is standing in the hallway. Can you imagine how happy I was?

There is something that I remember best. This is not the brightest event, rather sad. IN kindergarten I often fell and stumbled - I didn’t notice anything behind my thoughts. And then one day, when I was walking somewhere, lost in thought, a boy, who took a toy wooden traffic light, without really looking at where he was going, “came” right into my eye with this very traffic light. Not quite in the eye, but in the eyebrow, as it turned out later. At the first aid station they said that everything would heal. Mom picked me up from kindergarten and when we got home, she decided to check what was under the bandage... And then we went to the surgeon.

When we all visit hospitals, we remember this specific smell, but not everyone can name it. And I couldn’t then. But I remembered it very well. And I never went near a wooden traffic light again...

All these little stories that I told you are, in general, quite ordinary. Everyone can tell something from their childhood.

When I was little, I always paid attention to words and took a lot of things very close to my heart. Of course, I, like all children, rejoiced at everything in the world: winter, and snow, and gifts, and streams in the spring, and rain, and a new cartoon... Everything, everything! I liked to attract attention, I liked to play snowballs with my dad, I liked to draw, to dance - everything always seemed new, even if you had done it a thousand times. Every time it’s like anew! Children will always be better at something than adults. Children will be more joyful, happier, smarter, etc. Because adults have “seen a lot of things,” and children always discover everything from a new, more interesting side. Ask an adult: “What is love?”, he will answer you all sorts of nonsense about feelings between two people and so on, and the child will answer: “This is when mom and dad always say to each other “ Good morning!“, when mom kisses you on the forehead before leaving you in kindergarten, when dad gave mom flowers just like that...” So whose answer is more important? Who is closer to the truth? That's it!

When I was little, I was the happiest girl on Earth. Why? But that's why! Because...

Kirpicheva Polina, 8th grade