Happy birthday greetings to a woman, funny anniversary. Comic funny birthday greetings to a woman

Almost always and at any holiday, guests congratulate the hero of the occasion by reading out a congratulation from a postcard they bought in a store. Occasionally, someone comes up with congratulations themselves and reads them out. But they are all strict, official, and sometimes such congratulations make you want to cry from happiness and beauty. But why cry - it’s a holiday after all?! New comic congratulations for a woman’s birthday and anniversary with a joke - this is what will make your holiday unforgettable, and your congratulations an incredible show number! See the most original and funniest congratulations, and use them to congratulate on any holiday. And so, let's watch.

We wish you happiness and love!
Every day you just bloom!
Be always beautiful and always sweet,
And thirty-three heroes will love you!

I don’t know what to wish for you.
Everything seems to have already been said.
But I adore you so much
I will say everything that is in my soul.

First of all, I wish you happiness,
To have a lot, two bags.
And I offer this happiness,
Use one for you.

More love, where would we be without it?
May everything go well on this front.
So that Cupid doesn't forget about you,
And he shot his arrows correctly!

There is never enough money,
And everyone knows about this.
May you have many of them,
May you live beautifully.

And I also want to tell you,
That everything was perfect for you.
So that everything works out for you,
And everything came true for you!

Luxury yachts, resorts, hotels,
May you live in Courchevel yourself!
For friends to visit you,
And they vacationed together at resorts.
So that your health does not fail,
And everything was fine with money.
So that men give smiles,
And they bewitched you with their glances.
So that the gait is from the hip,
And no trouble happened to you.
In general, to summarize my speech -
The main thing is to attract the bird of happiness to you!

Be the best on the planet
Be the brightest in this world!
Just be super, really awesome,
Let the men stand in a row!
Always be cheerful, perky,
Be as playful as a bottle of wine!
Be beautiful without mosquitoes, without gels,
Be yourself, who you really are!

You can also cheerfully and collectively congratulate a woman on her anniversary! Cool anniversary chants will help you with this! Look, choose and congratulate.

Comic congratulations in prose.

Today is your birthday! I congratulate you on this wonderful event and wish you that if you have pain, it will be in different places every day. After all, as doctors say, if you have pain in the wrong place every day, then you are completely healthy!

My dear friend!
Congratulations on your birthday! I wish you that your man will always give you gifts starting with the letter Sh - a fur coat, a hat, champagne, a noise, hats, golden fur coats and a silver Chevrolet.
Best wishes!

There have been so many wonderful events in your life! There have been so many successes and conquering new heights in your life! Today on your birthday, I wish you that all events, successes and victories are repeated again and again.

My dear friend! On your birthday, I wish you that when you go to visit someone, your man calls you and asks where are you? And not for a THOUSAND to shout somewhere!

My dear friend!
Congratulations on your birthday! I wish you not to count your money and not to count other people’s money. After all, as they say, a woman who does not count her money is successfully married. And a woman who doesn’t count other people’s money is a wonderful lover!

We waste our lives on all sorts of nonsense. We spend the first half of our lives to earn money. And the second half of our lives we spend the money we earn to regain our health.
On your birthday, I wish you to spend your life as you see fit, and not think about money.

I wish you to throw money down the drain, but only if it blows in your direction! Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday!
I wish you and your man always have the same thoughts. So that in a fur store you think about the same thing. And when you say how good it is that you are buying me a new fur coat, your man thought the same thing.

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Happy birthday.
I wish you fun
So that your dreams are bolder,
The waist and hips are just slimmer.
New fur coat, car
And a luxurious man
Millions of scarlet roses,
Steam locomotive decorations,
A carriage of hopes come true...
Well, taking a serious tone:
May fate bring you
What you want for yourself!

“Birthday is a holiday of childhood,” -
The mustache sang with all his heart.
That uncle told me not to be sad
And he was right, as if looking into water!

After all, you can't be sad,
Smile at your destiny.
Let her be generous
And always good to you.

Let life fill you with joy,
All wishes will be fulfilled!
You are a wonderful person,
Smile all your life!

Happy Birthday!
You live like in a zoo:
Let the passionate lion warm you up,
And the donkey gives gifts.

Jaguar under the window
I wish from my heart,
And girlfriends - soft cats,
To purr with them in silence.

And then wait for the prince -
To swear and call...
The main thing is that in the menagerie
Didn't catch the crocodile!

I wish you joyful moments
Receive on your birthday.
Bouquet of tender forget-me-nots
And soar in the clouds of love.

Live to the fullest, relax
And don't deny yourself.
I want to swim in greenery
And keep your nose up.

New outfits, shoes, fur coats
And diamonds on my chest.
In life there is lightness and jokes,
Whatever you want.

I wish you happiness and smiles,
Less nonsense and mistakes.
Heartfelt friends only for you,
May your leisure time be pleasant.

Anxiety of the heart and soul,
So that the eyes are good.
I wish you shoes and diamonds,
Less nasty things and evil eyes.

Happy birthday!
I wish you a sea of ​​arrogance:
So that, without looking at others,
Achieve any goals.

And also an ocean of deceit,
To always live like a king,
No matter what
Conquer everyone with beauty!

You are beautiful on your birthday!
Let men all year
They tell you with admiration:
“What kind of woman is coming!”
Be rich in beauty
And they are not poor in health,
So that with a high salary
Were rewarded.
Women's happiness, comfort,
Don't live by work alone.
For family, friends and sport
Always find time.

Happy Birthday! You know, let you dream
What in the country-Apartment with the Kitchen-capital,
You, like a queen, rule over everyone
Everything comes true at once, whatever you wish for.
And everyone around them is cleaning, sweeping, washing,
Just look at the table - they will arrange a feast like a mountain,
If you feel a little sad, everyone brings gifts,
And you live easily, cheerfully and brightly!
Sleep will disperse boredom and sadness,
Let it come true at least halfway!

So that the path of life is clean and smooth,
I want to wish you:
Always have more money...
Ugh, happiness, I wanted to say.

Shine with beauty as before,
Lighting the way for all loved ones.
Let the years go by
Not daring to look at you.

Happy Birthday!
May luck not leave you,
And let luck support you,
Will guide you to new joys.

Wealth will fall from heaven,
To smile more often,
And without any obstacles
Still the cutest!

A variety of funny birthday greetings for a woman will lift the birthday girl’s spirits and make her laugh. You can write them yourself or choose the appropriate option from ready-made ones. True, making a choice from such wishes is not easy. Some of them may be completely inappropriate in specific situations.

Every representative of the fair sex is always pleased to hear beautiful congratulations. You can also make cool funny wishes this way. Today we will be able to find a large number of options for funny congratulations for every taste and suitable for a variety of situations.

But among them there are many who are rude and even vulgar or mocking. These congratulations are appropriate only in rare cases. You can only read them close friend, who has a great sense of humor and often uses similar jokes herself. So, when congratulating a boss, colleague, elderly or unfamiliar person, they can even lead to serious offense on the part of the hero of the occasion.

When choosing the coolest congratulations for a girl, you can also complement them with a funny present.

For example, give the hero of the occasion a postcard with her “aged” photo. Special online services that offer to look at yourself in old age will allow you to take such an unusual photo. True, you will have to abandon such a joke if the young lady is very worried about her age and has a hard time worrying about this every year on holiday.

You can supplement your funny congratulations with any a fun gift from a joke store. The main goal is to make the birthday girl smile and also improve her mood.

1. Happy birthday and I wish you to become insolent: Become shamelessly charming, Don’t be sad and don’t grow old! To become prettier is the envy of others, To be deceptively simple, To become very, very happy And to captivate everyone with beauty!
2. So that they wake up with a smile, Don’t quarrel at work, Change their dresses every day, Don’t get stuck in traffic jams, Have the necessary connections everywhere, Don’t get sick for a second, So that you can relax under a palm tree, Eat deliciously, sleep sweetly, Dress for the weather, Follow fashion exactly, We went to a restaurant more often, so that they would always pay for you, so that your loved one would bring you coffee in the morning, so that you would be in a great mood. Happy Birthday!
3. Happy birthday and I wish you from the bottom of my heart: Happiness - to the point of exhaustion, And good luck - without reason. So that tears come only from laughter, If laughter comes from the heart, If you rush, then to success, And destroy obstacles. And so many smiles - without counting, And love - until sparks in the eyes, Until victory - at work, Personal front and dreams!

Funny wishes in your own words

You can write funny birthday greetings in your own words. If you want originality in this, then a quest for the birthday girl would be an excellent solution. This will be an unusual congratulation in the form of an adventure.

To do this you need to write to beautiful postcards or short valentines funny wishes in your own words and hide them in different places. All that remains is to draw a humorous map and mark the treasured points on it.

The birthday girl will “travel” to the suggested places, each time receiving a new funny wish. She will definitely remember such a congratulation for a long time. In addition to notes, you can also hide small pleasant gifts at each new point. Even a woman’s favorite sweets or banknotes (one at a time) are suitable for this purpose.

1. Not a woman, but fire, not a young lady, but a sight for sore eyes, on your birthday I want to wish you to eat and not get fat, work and not get tired, be a muse for this world and a dream for any male group. Let your nails not break, let your tights not tear, let a smile shine on your face, and let the cheerful tune of boogie-woogie always sound in your head.
2. Happy birthday, woman-miracle, fairy tale, dream. I wish you to be groovy and invigorating, like expensive coffee, I wish you good mood to be weird without a button accordion, I wish you to call the team for help in moments of sadness true friends with a bottle of sparkling wine, I wish you never feel like a tired horse, I wish you always feel like a magnificent queen of this world.
3. Happy birthday to the bombshell and charming beauty. I wish you happy Mondays, exciting Tuesdays, romantic Wednesdays, seductive Thursdays, shopping Fridays, brightly emotional Saturdays and fabulously happy Sundays.

Comic toasts for the holiday table

Comic toasts also set the mood for the holiday perfectly.

If you plan to celebrate a birthday at a large table with guests, then texts of congratulations in this form should be selected or written in advance.

It is carefully thought out beautiful (and not spontaneous confused) toasts that always sound especially beautiful and are remembered by everyone present.

Of course, not every congratulator is able to write a sonorous, heartfelt text on their own. In this case, the best solution would be to simply choose the one you like best among the ready-made toasts and memorize it.

1. A woman of wonder, a miracle and a fairy tale, I congratulate you on your birthday. I would like to wish that you don’t meet donkeys and goats on the way, that you don’t have to work like a collective farm horse, that you develop a shark’s grip on what you want, that all the ladies in the world envy your beauty, and that the men, when they see you, drool until the very end. floor.
2. Every woman definitely needs treasures. For some, diamonds are enough, for others - pearls. On your birthday, I want to wish you love, happiness and all the other treasures in the world. Let's drink to something cooler than diamonds.
3. Gardens bloom in summer, flowers in spring. Only a woman always blooms! Only a woman is as beautiful as a scarlet flower, like a red rose that grows in gardens. And on this day you are even more beautiful and cannot be compared with any rose. So let's drink to you, beautiful lady!

Funny short congratulations

A great idea is to congratulate a woman with humor. But on her birthday, in addition to jokes, the birthday girl will probably want to hear beautiful, warm, sincere wishes. Therefore, it is worth combining two types of congratulations.

For example, start with a joke or a funny poem to direct the holiday in the right direction. And then list everything that the congratulator would like to add to the birthday girl’s life: true female happiness in a variety of areas, good health long years, sincere tender love, daily joy, loyal reliable friends, success in work and other benefits. At the same time, you should address the girl warmly and tenderly: call her by a diminutive name (if appropriate in the situation), “Dear birthday girl,” “Beloved mother/friend/sister,” “Our dear,” etc.

1. Happy Birthday. May the coming year of life bring packs of rustling greenery to your home safe.
2. Happy Birthday to You! Sea, joy, warmth, Delicious little cookies, Chocolates, caramels, Sweet berries, pies, Magic from bright dreams!
3. Happy Valentine's Day! I wish you joy, luck, great happiness, all the way to heaven, Siberian health, love and miracles.

Short poems with humor

If you plan to congratulate a woman at a distance, rather than in person, it is better to choose short, resonant poems with humor. Small texts It will be convenient to send in a letter (paper/electronic), in messages via social media, in SMS, etc.

Short funny poems are quite easy to write yourself. If you can’t do this yourself, then you should just choose the option you like from the ready-made ones.

1. I wish you eternal luck, health, joy, aspirations. May every year you live be as sweet as honey! I also wish you beauty, so that all your dreams come true. In bed - just “ah”. And in reality, not in dreams.
2. I want to congratulate you, wish you a carload of everything: Happiness, joy, fun, and health, and friends! So that there is only a lot of money, So that luck is every day. May your loved one be in love with you forever!
3. Forget your problems and worries, let's have a blast. For once, forget about work, You know, this life is wonderful. Beauty, believe in your luck, And break men's hearts. Let everyone cry with envy, But happiness lasts forever!

Cool congratulations Happy birthday can be turned into a real funny memorable performance dedicated to the hero of the occasion. To do this, you need to figure out how to give a girl a gift in a funny and unusual way. And also choose suitable wishes.

Happy birthday, my dear,
Congratulations!
There are many congratulations,
It’s impossible to count them now:

Radiant sunshine,
Coffee in the morning.
A broad-shouldered man,
To cook it myself.

To love and please,
Brought money
Kissed and pampered...
And he idolized it!

Children, so as not to upset you,
To take care of you
Warmed my mother's heart
And they grew up healthy!

All so businesslike
Elegant, cool.
Happy Birthday, beauty,
Always be such a sweetheart!
Laugh more often, smile,
Never be arrogant.
Always relax in style
Restrictions are all gone.
I combed my hair with mousse -
And have fun all night long!

No! It's not the woman's fault
When this date comes -
The calendar is to blame here.
And you, contrary to all dates,
Everyone is still young at heart,
Slender, graceful and light.

We won’t wish you much,
Your merits cannot be counted...
So stay, for God's sake,
Always the way you are!
And age is not a problem,
We will survive all the anniversaries!
After all, the most important thing in life is always
So that your soul does not grow old.

Happy Birthday
And I wish in life that
All the problems and worries
They were like a microbe!

And more laughter in life,
To be the size of an elephant
There were joys, successes,
And know love to the fullest!

I didn't have time to wash my face
I didn't have time to shave!
I didn’t really have time to get dressed!
Finish a bunch of different things!
I didn’t have time to buy a gift,
Arrive at the feast on time!
Accept for who I am,
I will drink, I will eat.
I'm really really sorry -
I... didn't buy a gift.
I was in such a hurry, I was flying so much,
What... didn't even have time to do that.
Let me just hug you
And kiss me from the bottom of my heart.

You're so shy
But at the same time she’s smart.
Why are you sitting so quietly?
Nice employee?

After all, today is your personal
Holiday, birthday!
Come on, smile brightly,
We want fun!

Our entire friendly team
He loves to celebrate!
Connect your positivity
And let's play some pranks!

I want to look like garbage,
To be the best on the planet
So that for one of your tender glances
They threw a million down the drain!
I wish to delight you with beauty
Without any creams, masks, gels...
In short, just be like this
What YOU really are!

Sparkling with diamonds in your ears,
And with a crocodile clutch
Sweet darling will come,
Whose name is Luck.

And he will tell you: “Darling,
Take it all from me.
I know about your birthday
And congratulations!

Also take the Maserati,
Chance helped me with this.
Open the trunk more carefully
There's a groom there for you."

Let there be fewer critical days,
And more – cloudless, passionate!
Let there be plenty of money in your bag,
And fewer dangerous connections!

Hope, health, luck and strength,
Love - without problem problems,
And so that Abramovich asks for his hand,
And life's joyful ups!

May they give you a little gold on your birthday,
From the USA - money, and from Holland - flowers,
Cashmere - a coveted coat,
Champagne is one of the most expensive varieties!

Shine, sparkle and smile radiantly,
Be the first, the best, fashionable, young!
Go ahead and enjoy life
And may Love always be with you!

The years fly by, as they say,
And there is no hiding from aging.
But you, friend, don’t be sad,
You still have to bloom, bloom!

Let others worry
And they resort to surgery.
I won't tire of repeating -
You'll be a hundred like you were at twenty-five!

All my friends gathered to come,
They want to please you.
So forget about your age
And finally set the table.

So that breasts like Irene Ferrari,
And a butt like J.Lo's.
So that the men open their mouths,
They drove us around in cool cars.
So that all the flowers are thrown at your feet,
And every day they swore love,
And in boutiques so that they dress,
Anyone fulfilled a whim.
So that the sex is awesome until dawn,
It seemed like there was always money,
Vacation in Egypt all summer,
And go to Turkey in winter.
In Ibiza to hang out,
So that men swear love
(I wish I could repeat myself)
In short, it's all bad!

Your birthday is here -
Read my creation
This is all personal for you.
By the way, you look great!

I'll give you a dacha in the Canaries,
“Gelika” and a physical education teacher to boot,
Always be beautiful and slim
And, of course, cool.

Stay trendy baby
Be as desirable as candy
So that everyone who is envious will be shocked!
This poem is from me!

Again from home to work, and from work you go home.
So a day or two flies by in problems and worries.
Better days stop and rest a little,
So that you can frolic and shake your “old times”!

May you, my friend, have something to remember.
You are both a faithful wife and a responsible mother,
Just a little boring, you should show off.
Don't judge me harshly, I care about you!

On your birthday I wish you - let everything around you be happy,
So that your spouse looks at you with loving eyes.
And, in addition, without growing old, celebrate birthdays,
Without effort, when you look younger, you can surprise all your neighbors.

I wish you on your birthday
Elite clothes and cars,
Always pleasant excitement,
And there is no end to men,

So that a manicure is always in order,
And appearance is pure ideal,
In love, let it be only sweet,
May everyone look up to you!

Three firefighters, two ambulances,
Wild noise in my head
Riot police are watching at the entrance,
And the apartment is in complete chaos.

There are no doors, there is a fight in the entrance,
A dog is sleeping on the bed.
The day of "sucks" has begun,
Women's holiday was a success!

Happy birthday, dear!
Let everything be with you:
And the penthouse and the servants,
Your own yacht!

In the center is a personal apartment,
Dress in boutiques
And only rage with fat,
And live like in your dreams!

I washed my face and shaved in the morning!
Perfumed and ironed!
Today is an unusual day!
He is dear and important to me!

I bought flowers and baked a cake!
(Not himself, but from the store)
And I walk quickly
To you! It's not a good day!

I am very happy to congratulate you!
I wish you on your birthday!
Health, happiness and other benefits!
Love and Inspiration!

Happy birthday, like, yours
Congratulations from the bottom of our hearts.
Your feet are quietly dancing
The head is in no hurry.

We wish you, in kind:
All outfits are tailored to the figure,
All hairstyles are glitter and varnish,
A lot of money - just like that.

For myself - a sea of ​​health,
For the soul - peace in everything,
For work - positive,
And for life there is a lot of strength.

Today we are sending a poem
The most beautiful of ladies.
Let them lie down next to slender legs
Paris and Amsterdam.

Let him hear on his birthday
She's just a chorus of praise
May your heart be filled with spring,
And let the ball be festive.

For the queen - for her -
The whole area is thundering,
Let him sing only for her
The star is now a hit!

Over the pot on the stove
You spend the evenings.
On weekends you clean
And on Wednesdays you do laundry.

In the morning you go to work,
And to my parents on Saturday.
On Monday - fitness club,
And on Tuesday - a gathering of friends.

And yet you are beautiful,
Majestic, proud.
I love you like that
I give you a poem!

Comic congratulations on a woman’s anniversary

Give a bottle with a nipple

We didn't come here in vain
The table is set, the glasses are poured,
Maybe the October holiday?
Maybe, New Year are we meeting?
Or did Mai come here?
Celebrating a birthday
Ours... half a hundred and five
There is a newborn among us
We will all congratulate her
But, and she should drink from a glass,
In theory, it’s not possible!
We will give this pacifier as a gift.
Let him suck - it's time
And to us for her health
It's time for a drink!
Let him grow and not get sick,
Gathers us once a year.
If only she were healthy
And the rest will come!

Comic gift(horseradish).
In order not to split hairs for too long,
I decided to give
The root of a valuable drug
For the soul and for health
Always put horseradish on the table.
To forget our problems,
Put horseradish in soup and porridge.
If Mondrage torments you,
Spread horseradish on bread and rolls.
And so that there are no problems,
Screw everything to hell.
It contains every vitamin
It will add vigor and strength.
To work until dawn,
Rub your head with horseradish.
It's a balm from Bitner -
What if they pester you?
You can tell everyone to go to hell! You have a sense of humor
Which means you will appreciate this verse!
I wish you a sweet life
And happy birthday.
Let every day be successful
And fruitful, definitely!
Brings only dividends
Good luck, happiness, compliments! Don't be sad that you're no longer 17,
Every age has its own charm.
It is important in life to be able to smile,
So that friends surround you.
Let them only wait in life nice words,
And my heart will never cry in pain,
And let your head spin
From happiness, from love and from luck. My dear friend,
A dear, earthly friend.
Happy birthday to you, congratulations!
I wish you from the bottom of my heart:
Let the joy of love not go out,
Let all regrets be forgotten.
Let your life be crazy
But, and happiness with luck, intoxicated,
Let sadness pass by,
I love you, I won’t hide it.
At forty-five I only became younger,
And it doesn't look like you at all:
Why did this date come to you?
Always be gentle, cheerful,
And never be harsh.
And let the years flicker like candles,
But today you will raise your shoulders.
Queen at forty-five
I just want to hug you tenderly.
The aroma of sweet autumn, meetings,
Sweet speeches will be gentle.
It would be a miracle to capture this on film,
Having spent all the moments back. May there be prosperity in the family, good luck in work!
A trip to the sea, not to the countryside!
Colored banknotes, or better yet green!
Children, both our own and others – gifted!
Wardrobes burst under the pressure of fur coats!
Lips like Masha Rasputina's!
So that your fingers are covered in forty-carat diamonds!
So that the husband obeys without unnecessary debate!
Go to the solarium to look blooming!
Non-gluttonous and light-drinking guests!
Keep cabinets moth-free, sideboards dust-free!
There's still something we missed on the list!
If there is a reason, our order is this:
Love and happiness to you forever and ever!
Live, love and be loved,
Cheerful, successful and irreplaceable! I wish you great happiness - like the sky,
So that there is enough salt and bread,
And troubles passed you by,
So that friends come to visit more often,
In days of mistakes and in times of failure,
In spite of mistakes and failures,
Be strong willed and don’t lose heart
And in honor of success, everything will be changed.
Let the enemy rejoice in secret,
Don't believe his sympathetic speeches
And lean on friendly shoulders,
They will help you resist! Happy birthday my friend,
Happy birthday my light!
You and I know each other
More than a dozen years
And there was all these years
You are as good as an angel
Because by nature
You are an open soul
How much do you and I need?
To avoid wrinkles
To keep the children close
And the attention of men
For health, for luck,
To make life easy
To have a car, a dacha,
Let's drink cognac together! Beautiful in appearance, tender,
Well, how can you not fall in love with someone like that?
You are good at everything
And you can be proud of your life.
We achieved only “five” in it
And keep striving
Be an example, radiate light,
To be the first master in business,
It’s too early to draw conclusions
They are increasingly letting us down...
But you just need to live brightly!
You seem to be able to do this.
May you continue to be happy
In friends, work, longevity,
To wipe the nose of all enemies
And, as always, be a Lady in everything! Life gives "excellent" twice
And you don't care so much
After all, there are eighteen in your soul,
And I want to fall in love again,
So let it be so, dear,
Congratulations today!
Let life give you a bouquet,
Of joy, laughter, victories! On a day like this they usually wish,
The dark fog in life will melt away,
So that money falls from the sky,
Travel to all countries of the world,
Never fool yourself with trifles,
Let your dreams become reality! Enchanted, bewitched,

Like a sweet berry, woman!
All the newspaper men are fascinated
And everything is captured on the TV screen,
For you, PR is a piece of cake,
If only all the bills were paid!
Our image will be wonderful
If only you do it,
After all, with a charming smile
You can cope with any task!
Enchanted, bewitched,
Came off the blue screen,
We look at you in admiration -
You, of course, are not a “woman”, but a Woman! I congratulate you on your anniversary!
You are the most beautiful in the world!
And I want to wish you now,
So that love is responsible for you!
Let troubles never touch you,
Let your eyes shine forever with happiness!
I wish you the most important thing - warmth from the heart,
Freedom for the soul, life without bad weather! Let's not sum it up
Let's just take a walk from the heart.
We'll shake things up on your anniversary,
After all, we are as good as before!
Let's go dancing, to a club, to a disco,
We will remember your anniversary for a long time.
Hey bartender, give us a full pour!
Don't skimp on mojito and tequila. How lovely! Finally!
Have you ever thought
That you will have to fall back into childhood again,
Start a new path in life?!
Well, mischievous fate dictates
Let them awaken passion in you...
Please accept our congratulations
On your anniversary - on your new start! There are many round dates in life,
You are 50 today!
Cordially, dear,
Happy anniversary!
Forget the years, don't lose heart,
Drink a little, sing some songs.
You're not an old woman at all
And stay young, without feeling tired for years,
Strive to live an interesting life.
Three quarters gone. Remained
You add up a quarter to a full century.
Here the arithmetic is like this:
The more, the more honorable the term.
Collecting years in a knapsack,
You sum them up.
And, having a round sum,
For example, here's 75,
Call it an anniversary
Sit down and mark the number.
The years are standing before my eyes,
And although the task is not easy,
We really want to be with you
Add up your age by living to be a hundred!

Comic gifts with poems for a woman’s birthday

Photo session of the hero of the day in hats.
This is a very funny congratulatory number for women's anniversary,
which is more suitable for home holiday or holiday on
dacha, so that the culprit does not get upset because she might ruin
hairstyle (after all, she needs to try on each hat, demonstrate
guests and, if desired, take a photo in each as a souvenir)
Eyeliner: The French say that a real woman can...
nothing to arrange three things: a salad, a scandal and a hat. Our (name
hero of the day) can do much more, from all this she can also
arrange a real holiday for yourself and your guests. What's she brilliant about now?
and will demonstrate it to us all.
- Perhaps not everyone is present
know that we are in constant collaboration with the great couturier
of our time by Zakidon Shlyapnikov and offer to the hero of the day
personal all-season collection of his hats. Hats, mirror,
photographer, is everything ready? Then let's begin!
First model: “Champion” sports cap (Children’s cap with a toe or baseball cap.)
Sport will relieve us of stress
And it will add health to everyone.
To stay young
You need to play sports.
Summer, autumn, winter
Take up race walking.
To move the bus,
You need to put on a hat.
Second model: “Dive” swimming cap (Rubber swimming cap or shower cap)
To always be healthy,
So as not to cough, not to sniffle,
You can run for a long time in the park
Or hang on the horizontal bar.
Since water is given for life,
Then rather into the river, into the shower.
Just try on the hat,
After all, it suits the person too.
Third model: housewife’s hat “Clean” (Made from a sponge or washcloth)
If in household chores suddenly
It turns out that two legs and two arms are not enough,
And everything she needs to wipe off.
Fourth model: hat for the work “All Visible” (An option for the teacher is to sew glasses on the hat on four sides.)
You need to have a hat like this
To see everything, to watch everyone,
So that work will soon be in full swing,
So that not a second for laziness, yawning.
(Option for the teacher. To prevent the student from cheating,
“Lick everything from someone else’s notebook”
He wouldn't be able to pull out the spur...
Such a hat will fit).
Fifth model: miracle hat “Whether in the garden or in the vegetable garden” (Old straw hat)
The sun beats down mercilessly at the dacha
Is there someone standing there on all fours?
In the hottest, sultriest time
Save your crown from harmful rays!
Avoid overheating -
Put on your miracle hat!
Sixth model: “Legend” hat for the weekend (Any original hat)
If, (name of the hero of the day), you suddenly
A friend will invite you for the weekend,
Don't think, don't guess,
Accept the offer!
Be gentle, be cheerful,
Just don't forget your hat!
Weekend hat –
Not a hat, but a legend!
Seventh model: eco-hat for environmentalists (Spotted Panama hat in khaki color)
We know you love animals:
Squirrels, hares, wood grouse,
You take care of your native river
And you don’t kill the fish in it.
So that the trees turn green,
So that the birds sing songs,
Join the Greenpeace society
To us, the “greens”, such -
Blues are no match for us!
Eighth model: “Visa for a cruise” hat (Old men's hat)
This hat is not worn on the head, but in the hands.
If you want not to wither,
See the pyramids
Collect capital
And you'll go to the station.
You can easily get a visa
And go on cruises!
And finally, the ninth model: the invisible hat (Hat big size, creeping over the eyes, or a knitted hat).
The grandiose model is made in a single copy and has no
analogues in the world and has the supernatural property of invisibility.
Let's try it on...wonderful! If you try in vain, you won’t see anything anyway!
This collection of hats is designed for all occasions and will help you feel a real woman in any situation.

Give a bottle with a nipple
(for fun, we put the pacifier on the chekushka)
Hello, our long-awaited day,
We didn't come here in vain
The table is set, the glasses are poured,
Maybe the October holiday?
Maybe we'll celebrate the New Year?
Or did Mai come here?
Celebrating a birthday
Ours... half a hundred and five
There is a newborn among us
We will all congratulate her
But, and she should drink from a glass,
In theory, it’s not possible!
We will give this pacifier as a gift.
Let him suck - it's time
And to us for her health
It's time for a drink!
Let him grow and not get sick,
Gathers us once a year.
If only she were healthy
And the rest will come! Give pasta beads
We cannot give you expensive gifts on your birthday,
Because with these prices we can’t buy anything anywhere.
But don’t think that we are not attentive, You are more valuable than any gifts,
It’s just that on this wonderful day we can only love you.
Even though we can’t give you expensive gifts on your birthday,
But still, with great effort, We were able to buy something.
And we want to wish you from the bottom of our hearts a sea of ​​happiness, health, love,
And we will give you a necklace, And we will put it on your shoulders.
You keep it from moths and frost, in it you meet the dawn and sunset,
When you're hungry, boil it for yourself, and you don't have to spend a lot of money.
If sadness and sadness visit you, disperse them with a miracle of miracles,
And sell this wonderful gift, And buy an expensive Mercedes.
***
(To the tune of the song “Orenburg down scarf»)
On this gentle and affectionate evening, When all the relatives are already at the table
Please accept my modest gift - a three-ruble handkerchief.
(We give the hero of the day a handkerchief prepared in advance.)
I bought it in Orenburg, I take care of you like a mother.
I’m ready to give you, my dear, not a scarf, but a towel.
(We hand the hero of the day a towel.)
Let everyone in the hall envy you, We will not upset the guests.
So that my gifts are not stolen, I will ask everyone to distribute napkins.
(Napkins are distributed to everyone present.)
Age is not only about years, When there is hot blood in your veins.
So let's fill our glasses for the hero of the day and faith in love! Unusual congratulations with gifts
We wish you all the best.
We give you equipment
And fashionable clothes.
To quickly clean the apartment
Take a wonderful car,
Very easy to use
Our "Roventa" vacuum cleaner.
He will wipe anyone's nose,
Will remove all your chaos.
You will take it gently in your hands,
You'll wave in different directions
If it scatters, there is no dust.
It won't take up much space,
It will fit into any crack.
Saves kilowatt
Doesn't buzz and is lightweight.
Everything in the house will shine,
There is no place for dust to fly. (broom)
2. Here is the “Just in case” device
In life he is the best assistant,
With him, grief is no problem.
He will always help you.
And the name is sonorous
Enema - scientifically.
It's not difficult to apply
We will attach instructions. (enema)
Use it every day
And your migraine will go away
He will remove all the toxins from you
In general, we are telling you,
He cannot be replaced in life.
For extensive angina
You can gargle
When renovating an apartment
You can spray paint.
Finding ourselves at the dacha with him
You spray the bushes
And then how crazy
Flowers will bloom everywhere.
I think you're convinced
What kind of miracle are we giving you?
And now through life boldly
You will go with him alone.
3. Regarding the outfit
Put it on quickly
You'll be a gorgeous woman in it
And Madonna is just a shadow.
Winter panties with cotton wool
Will fit just right
Because in November
The cold is bitter outside.
Put it on quickly
Make men laugh.
And it's impossible to freeze
Wearing hot leggings
You will survive any cold. (diapers)
4. And the boots are from Versace
The last squeak is no different.
You carry them all winter
And you won't get frostbite on your feet. (slippers, socks, shoe covers)
You will highlight your figure in them
I twisted my long leg.
Klavka Slate itself
I would go crazy if I started it.
In a headset with panties
It will be hot like the Sahara
You carry gifts
And bless fate.
There will be a reason to drink
We'll get together again
Women's happiness is endless.
We wish you a happy birthday. Gift basin.
For our anniversary we give a basin, it will always be just right.
You can wash floors in it, you can milk cows,
You can pick berries, burp after being drunk,
You can wash with it in the bathhouse, it will be useful to you there too,
You can wash your clothes in it, you can wash your butt,
You can sow flour in it and hang it on a branch
You can ride down the slide, it will always be useful to you,
And how will it be (50.60...) we will come to you again,
Prepare okroshka for us, and find a bigger spoon,
We’ll pour okroshka into a basin and celebrate the anniversary,
In general, you keep it, don’t break it, don’t crumple it,
Don’t leave it in the yard and put it back,
Happy anniversary, we wish you all a drink now,
Some from the pile, some from what, and we will drink from it. A funny gift (horseradish).
In order not to split hairs for too long,
I decided to give
The root of a valuable drug
For the soul and for health
“Horseradish - oops”, “horseradish too much”,
Always put horseradish on the table.
To forget our problems,
Put horseradish in soup and porridge.
If Mondrage torments you,
Spread horseradish on bread and rolls.
And so that there are no problems,
Screw everything to hell.
It contains every vitamin
It will add vigor and strength.
To work until dawn,
Rub your head with horseradish.
It's a balm from Bitner -
What if they pester you?
You can tell everyone to go to hell! Money as a gift.
You can alternate money: real money and those sold in kiosks - fake money. The text is as follows:
We had planned that we would give you a set - cheap and nice.
Then we thought and guessed and chose a microwave oven...
Then a food processor, so that the design would be great.
And then they decided, no, she’s 55 years old, let her go on a cruise wherever she likes.
We would be happy to send her to Turkey or the Emirates, let her walk in the open air, but she needs a lot of money.
But here we were on the safe side, we contacted the fabulous Gene, asked for his help, and now we received the parcel.
We don’t know what he sent here, we open the parcel in front of everyone.
Oh, what a miracle this is, how beautiful the pattern of the carpet is, may it please our hero of the day from evening until morning.
You can lie on it, dream about cruises or throw it over your shoulders, it will warm your soul.
And if you take a camera, you won’t find a better nature, against the backdrop of this carpet, you can shoot until the morning.
Guests will come running to you - can’t we lie on it?
What can I say, he’s beautiful!
We give you this exclusive.
Just don't let the moth eat it, let's sprinkle it on quickly,
hero of the day, quickly pour us a glass for the gift! Our dear birthday boy!
Even though you are no longer fifty dollars,
Still a joy for friends -
Birthday, anniversary!
After all, any of the birthdays -
Also a reason for giving.
Because - see for yourself! —
We came here with gifts.
Birthday boy, dear!
We come to you with all our hearts!
But first, pour it.
Drink, respect people!
No, we don't need alcohol,
We would like a drink like this
Just to refresh your throat!
And we'll start giving you
Everything we took with us.
It's still a lot of work -
After all, there are a lot of gifts!
Dear hero of the day
We are happy to give generously.
And without demanding a reward,
Let's get started. Is everyone ready?
We are for a dear friend
No regrets -
They barely got it.
(With these words they bring out a large box in which all
prepared gifts, and begin to take each one out of it one by one
item and read funny poems about each gift)

Gift No. 1.
Look here:
It says "WATER" here.
And although there is no water here,
Let us emphasize this point:
After all, the bottle, even empty,
But how beautiful!
Suitable for everything at once.
Well, first of all, it's a vase.
Secondly, the dishes are
And not only for the bouquet:
For water and compote,
And for tea with bergamot.
(with these words they present an empty plastic water bottle)
Gift No. 2.
Here's another "hello":
A pack of cigarettes.
And “hello” is from childhood:
Do you remember - summer, stadium...
100 meters in physical...
Gatherings in the yard...
There were cigarettes too -
You won't deny it though?
Even though you haven't smoked for a long time,
We donate the pack anyway.
One has only to take a glance,
To understand: smoking is poison!
Why, you ask, a pack? —
You will hide your stash in it!
(with these words they present a cigarette pack, preferably empty)
Gift No. 3.
Look how beautiful she is
This beer can!
You can make a rattle
A very nice toy -
Throw a couple of coins in there!
Why isn't it a joy for the hero of the day?
Rattle - isn't it?
And a piggy bank for coins.
(with these words an empty beer can is presented)
Gift No. 4.
Here's another present for you
Under the name Eurocent,
To put it simply - a penny
Made from excellent stainless steel.
For what? It's no secret:
From donated coins
The birthday boy is pleased!
We will not take the gift back!
This is money, and besides,
Our modest contribution to this dinner.
(they present a coin and throw it into the already donated beer can)
Gift No. 5
Here's another surprise
Not a whim, not a whim:
This is a candy wrapper.
Why, you ask, is this?
We want to infect with an example:
You will become a collector!
This is the first copy.
Do you understand, hero of the day?
Who buys paintings?
Who collects coins...
Wrappers are still more reliable:
After all, paintings are more expensive!
And, giving sweets to friends,
Take off the candy wrappers at the same time.
(at this place they present a candy wrapper)
Gift No. 6
And made of refractory steel
We'll give you a pin.
You ask: why suddenly?
For the gum! Got it, friend?
You might say: “What is it?
After all, now the underwear is different -
From Trussardi, from Dior..." —
But what kind of conversation?
But take it, don’t torment your friends,
Just like that - just in case!
(with these words an ordinary steel pin is presented)
Gift No. 7
Look here, buddy:
This is a matchbox!
You say it's a small thing? No not like this:
This is not a trifle at all.
Even if you're not a tourist,
Not an avid climber,
But from now on you will be able to
Light a fire in your soul!
(with these words they present a box of matches)
Gift No. 8
We are happy to give you
This lipstick tube.
And although it is completely empty,
But beautiful female lips
He keeps the touch.
Oh yeah tube! What a sight for sore eyes!
And I can give advice:
Throw it into your enemy's pocket!
Will take revenge on him in full
His wife is for you!
(at this place an empty tube of lipstick is presented)
Gift No. 9.
Look how cute it is:
At least the jaw is still there,
Behind the teeth - an eye and an eye!
We give... Now, now...
(rummaging through the box)
The hero of the day is ready to receive
This dental floss?
Oops, looks like you made a mistake...
But we will hardly repent -
With a simple, ordinary thread
Somehow it’s more common to act.
But if you made a mistake, it doesn’t matter:
They will always come in handy!
(these words are used to present a spool of ordinary thread, maybe not a new one)
Gift No. 10.
And now it's serious
We will solve the “dental issue”.
This is pasta. Yes, dental!
So fragrant!
We know, we tried it too...
True, doubt gnaws at us:
Is it worth giving it?
Because buy a new one
We didn't have time today.
But let's give it away - really!
(with these words a tube of toothpaste is presented - in accordance with
text, in this case you should take a used tube
toothpaste)
Gift No. 11.
We're giving away a cup! Yes friends?
Look - she's yours!
Do you know if you were looking for her at home?
We see that the cup is familiar.
What for? The answer here is simple:
A wonderful toast will sound -
Well, you are the same as usual.
Drink from your usual container!
And imagine that you are drinking tea:
Don't get drunk and don't get bored!
Drink a Pepsi if it's hot.
Isn't it better to drink from a gift?
(with these words a cup belonging to the birthday person is presented)
Gift No. 12.
That's it, the gifts are over.
But no: the envelope is without a stamp!
Suddenly there will be some reason,
And the envelope is at hand!
Even a letter, or even a note -
After all, it’s a long way to the post office!
However, it’s better not to delay,
And look in the envelope!
(with these words an envelope with money prepared as a gift is presented)
And now it's time for all of us
Let out a friendly “hurray”!
(all guests join in and honor the hero of the occasion many times)
[In case the gift is not intended to be money, but
something else, donors will have to describe it in poetry themselves
present] This is a fun table chant for an anniversary with the presentation of various gifts. After the host’s words, the guests should shout together:
“And we, and we have a gift for you!”
We are here today for a reason
Come together, friends!
There are jokes and congratulations everywhere,
Birthday wishes.
Just the birthday girl
Let's congratulate you now!
Come on, guests, join in
And shout as much as you can,
As if someone is after you for something
Bitten very hard.
Today Tanya got up early,
So that she doesn't have to rush later.
Start before it's too late
Get yourself in order.
Tanya approaches the white bathtub,
To wash your hair,
And shampoo - well, not a drop.
What to do, how to be here?
Guests in chorus: — (takes shampoo out of the box).
I'm so tired of dressing up
She began to make her way to the kitchen,
To drink coffee,
Strength to restore.
But yesterday a neighbor came in
And today there is no coffee.
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” — (takes out a bag of coffee from the box).
We know Tanya has a sweet tooth,
She loves sweets.
She didn't eat candy for the day
And I’m already upset.
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” — (handed over sweets).
So Tanya began to cook,
I got the best meat.
What to pepper the dish with?
So as not to upset the guests?
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” — (handed a bag of pepper)
Finally lunch is ready:
One hundred salads, cake and pilaf.
Here are all the dishes on the table,
Only salt mistress, where?
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” — (handed over...a bag of salt)
The last guest has left,
And a whole cartload of dishes.
What to do here, how to wash,
Where can I get a sponge?
Guests in chorus: “And we, and we, have a gift for you” — (they give... a sponge)
Don't take it as an insult
This joke is a congratulations.
Smile, sing songs,
Know that friends are always with you! Comic congratulations with gifts for a woman from friends.
1. Happy Birthday,
We wish you all the best.
We give you equipment
And fashionable clothes.
To quickly clean the apartment
Take a wonderful car,
Very easy to use
Our "Roventa" vacuum cleaner.
He will wipe anyone's nose,
Will remove all your chaos.
You will take it gently in your hands,
You'll wave in different directions
Instantly dirt from the entire apartment
If it scatters, there is no dust.
It won't take up much space,
It will fit into any crack.
Saves kilowatt
Doesn't buzz and is lightweight.
Everything in the house will shine,
There is no place for dust to fly (they give you a broom)
2. Here is the device “Just in case”,
In life he is the best assistant,
With him, grief is no problem.
He will always help you.
And the name is sonorous
Enema - scientifically.
It's not difficult to apply
We will include instructions (they give you an enema).
Use it every day
And your migraine will go away,
He will remove all the toxins from you
Your body will look slim.
In general, we tell you
He is irreplaceable in life.
For extensive angina
You can gargle
When renovating an apartment
You can spray paint.
Finding ourselves at the dacha with him
You spray the bushes.
And then how crazy
Flowers will bloom everywhere.
I think you're convinced
What kind of miracle are we giving you?
And now through life boldly
The two of you will go with her.
3. Regarding the outfit
Put it on quickly
You'll be a gorgeous woman in it
And Madonna is just a shadow.
Winter panties with cotton wool
Will fit just right
Because in November
The cold is bitter outside.
Put it on quickly -
Make men laugh.
It's not so difficult to warm up together
And it's impossible to freeze
Putting on hot leggings,
You will survive any cold (diapers are given as a gift).
4. And the boots are from Versace
The last squeak is no different.
You carry them all winter
And you won’t get frostbite on your feet (they give you slippers or socks or shoe covers)
You will highlight your figure in them
I twisted my long leg.
Klavka Slate itself
I would go crazy with envy.
In a headset with panties
It will be hot like the Sahara
You carry gifts
And bless fate.
There will be a reason to drink
We'll get together again
Women's happiness is endless.
We wish you a happy birthday. Cool congratulations from friends with gifts “Country treats”.
1. If the stomach wants to eat, do it the honor:
You spread pate on bread, there is nothing tastier (they give you a jar of pate).
2. If you like delicious soup, boil some cereals,
Throw in a sardine here, maybe even half (they give you a can of sardines).
3. If you need lunch, there is no problem here:
Your millet will be delicious if you have stew. (they give stew).
4. Pour tea into cups and serve the loaf!
Let the children laugh loudly, since there is condensed milk. (they give condensed milk)
5. If you invite the cream of society to the dacha,
Don’t rely on potatoes, open the olives as soon as possible (they give olives)
6. If you didn’t buy bread, don’t be sad, it’s nonsense!
Open a can of beans, you will always be full! (they give beans)
7. So that the picnic does not become a burden, so that you eat to your heart’s content,
open a can of corn and feed the salad! (give corn)
8. Having offered the guests a snack, the same sandwich:
Place a cucumber on the bread and a couple of sprats from a jar (they give cucumber and sprats as a gift)
9. Unsuccessful fishing will be made pleasant,
Fish meatballs in tomato sauce (meatballs are given as a gift)
10. If it grew up in a garden bed, then we won’t give it to you,
We'll eat this jar of peas in winter! (they give peas)
11. In addition to the treat, squash caviar!
There are a lot of vitamins, you should always eat it! (they give squash caviar)
12. The sun is hot this summer. Even if there are a lot of berries,
Decorates our picnic, fruits as a gift to you from the south
We present at this moment (fruits are given)
13. If you are too lazy to cook, but your stomach is howling,
Porridge with meat will come in handy to curb his ardor! (they give porridge with meat)
14. A useless thing, if you take it alone,
But it will be useful for soup, you need to have it in the house (they give you tomato paste). Congratulations on gifts "Women's things"
1. He will openly show you the beauty of your face and body, and you will see in him what you didn’t want to see in him (they give you a mirror)
2. Your iron friends, long-legged, long-armed, hold their hair
excellent, and you look so crowning! (they give hairpins)
3. Everything will be trimmed, trimmed and put in order. - to a higher number
“five”, the manicure will shine! (they give nail scissors)
4. You won’t find truer girlfriends - and don’t go to a fortune teller - no matter what, everyone really needs them... (they give curlers)
5. Gently removes makeup, gives a light massage - and will help at any time good friend ours is soft... (they give a sponge)
6. Always take them with you so that they are at hand and unnoticed
works. And if there is no water nearby, they are so important, these..... (give
wet wipes)
7. It is many hundreds of years old, but it looks fresh,
We hold the most irreplaceable object at our fingertips. Like a pure stream of wind -
thin... (given a handkerchief)
8. Like a whole battalion of soldiers, they stand in a box - they will remove unnecessary touches, and cosmetic sins (they give cotton buds)
9. There’s just so much missing in it: eye shadow, pencil, tweezers, hairpins, mascara,
comb, varnishes, and also all sorts of garbage. A very necessary thing - for
housewives... (give a cosmetic bag)
10. It comes in plastic and gold,
iron, silver and bone - he holds the hair with a strong hand,
they are like behind the Chinese wall. He helped every woman at least once -
so irreplaceable... (rim)
(Such a congratulation can be completed by presenting the crown and awarding the title “Beauty Queen”). Congratulations to the birthday girl from colleagues with gifts.
Perhaps you are planning to run away,
But your lot is to continue working! (give soap)
Who gets a can of beer?
Live happily all year! (give beer)
Eat bananas and coconuts
And expect rewards from fate! (give a banana)
While the boss is “taking the shavings off” us,
Calmly brew a mug of tea! (give a mug)
Receive this tube as a gift,
So that every tooth shines in the sun! (give toothpaste)
Since you got a chocolate bar,
Then it won’t be bitter for you - it will be sweet! (they give you chocolate)
When you drink cranberry jelly,
Forget about the merry-go-round of the world!
Let the world, as they say, wait!
And you will be healthy all year round (they give jelly)
Although this cream is inedible,
But the smell is simply incomparable! (they give hand cream)
To the one who receives this candle,
You'll have to travel around the world! (give a candle)
To record where the pay went,
You will really need this pen! (give a pen)
We'll have to live with grief,
And forget about the days of the calendar! (they give a calendar)
And great love awaits you
And kisses all year round! (they give a set of sponges)
Do you understand what the meaning of the gift is?
Life will be joyful and bright! (they give markers)
And you are “in the juice”, in the prime of life!
Among your friends you have no equal! (they give you a bag of juice)
You are good at work
And you will be held in high esteem by us all year (they give you a horseshoe)
You will walk around with a beautiful hairstyle,
Captivating everyone with a thick, fluffy mane (they give shampoo)
You will be cheerful and energetic,
And therefore the whole year will be great! (give coffee). Hello, dear little woman, you are such a pretty girl.
Although no longer 25, the years are ticking away, the mother is vigorous,
We are sending you, my dear, a package for your birthday.
A little here, a little here, take it and don’t blame me.
If there is no CANDLE in the house, here it is when the light goes out.
MATCHES and a BAR OF SOAP to wash your face,
But a PACK OF CIGARETTES, maybe you’ll light it, maybe not.
Life here, you'll understand, you'll smoke and drink here.
Here is PIVASIK for order after the bath, or for tiredness.
We all blow it ourselves and recommend it to you.
Here's 3 pieces of SALA, eat it or cook it,
Stretch it out until summer, now it’s a gem.
Don't get fat, better feed your guests.
Let your stupid friends eat
If they don’t feel sorry for their figure.
A BOTTLE OF HOLY WATER, drops in your mouth before eating.
Don’t give it to anyone, say: “It’s not enough for yourself.”
If your back suddenly hurts, rub it and hold it.
If you get sick, lie down, period, there is a grandson and a son-in-law and a daughter.
Let them wash and wash themselves, and don’t bother mom.
As soon as you receive the parcel, quickly take the bottle,
And quickly write an answer, what you liked and what you didn’t.
If there is no money in the house, tie a BROOM to your leg,
You need to wave a broom and collect money in a pile.
That's all, goodbye girl, you are like a sister to us, well,
Pour vodka into glasses and invite guests to drink. Cheerful congratulations From friends “How did we decide what to give!?”
(Two guests participate, at the end they give a rolling pin)
First:
Grandmothers told us yesterday
As if they had heard
Why is it your anniversary here?
So we came quickly.
Second:
We couldn't decide for a long time
What to buy you as a gift.
The list is long,
And then the two of us decided.
First:
You don't need a steamer
Crossed out because.
We put a cross on the locomotive:
Takes up a lot of space.
Second:
Your tank will not go into the garage,
The plane won't fit there.
The farm doesn't need a rocket,
We didn't take her for this.
First:
Kamaz big - rejected
We removed the tractor from the list,
The submarine... will pollute the lake,
Helicopter, where will it land!?
Second:
You can donate a car
But it's hard to please.
Giving a bicycle is no longer respectable,
And the scooter is quite a shame.
First:
It turns out that transport is a complete bummer,
Let's focus on something else.
The robbers will take off the diamond necklace,
A wallet with money in the market will be taken away,
Second:
You could buy a bag for groceries,
But they figured out in their minds the composition of the whole family,
And it turned out to be the size of a suitcase,
And this bag is not at all for ladies.
First:
We have reached a dead end with this problem,
Finding yourself in a difficult dilemma:
We wanted the mechanism, but the dimensions are not the same,
And a small gift does not fit the dream.
Second:
It suddenly dawned on us: this is what you need,
You will cook dinner for everyone,
Everyone will eat and immediately praise you...
In short, we decided to give a rolling pin (they give a rolling pin). Original congratulations- a surprise for a woman "Fruit cocktail".
(For this unusual congratulation you need: on a tray
lay out the ingredients….., as well as a large glass into which we throw everything….,
then, when the champagne has been poured over, a large ladle is handed out to the women
wine glasses)

Women themselves are like a basket of fruits.
Take, for example, the beautiful ________
Lips are raspberry, like peach-lanita...
Sweet, fresh, tender _______!
I'll brag to you: ______'s breasts
Like delicious ripe melons,
Lady fingers... It's a secret!
A woman, in general, is a walking dessert!
The language of fruits - little known
And sometimes they don’t understand
That, having tasted the delicious fruit,
Seduction will come.
Today we are for _______
Prepared a cocktail
To make _________ more beautiful
And as beautiful as a model!
They put a lot of fruits
So that after tasting this dessert
Our _________ shone,
And she was the most beautiful of all!
Here's a piece of apple, here's a piece of pear
There will be humor and coquetry,
If you eat these fruits!
Here's a sweet banana
Ripe, groovy,
If you want to be happy
Take it with you.
Ripe, juicy orange -
Fruits contain the first vitamin.
To always be healthy
Eat the slices without shame.
So that in life _____________
Peace and harmony ball
We put grapes in the cocktail!
To make life more glamorous and beautiful
Let's add champagne to our fruit! (pour the cocktail).

Comic birthday greetings on your 50th anniversary (with humor)

Age of hunting excitement
He drove for dozens of days like a pack of hounds.
Hello, anniversary! Ways back
This cunning hunter will not indicate...
“Hello, anniversary!” - shout boldly.
The hunt is not over yet.
And I’ll find fifty reasons,
To go through forests, fields, swamps.
The most beautiful trophy awaits you:
Joy, happiness and great love!
Today I wish you
Having walked another half of my life, defeating the goal,
Shout again: “Hello, anniversary!”

Congratulations on your anniversary,
Today he is half a century old,
For your merits - we are thrilled
Even we are in front of you.
Have fun, have fun,
And then - go to bed,
After all, as we know, from fun
I really need to rest.
To all gifts we will add -
Let's leave our colorful one
At your place. And happy anniversary!

Fifty is the time to blossom
Strength and wisdom zenith
Let your summer burn
And fate will bless you!
Without criticizing anything
Life gives good to everything.
And my beard is gray,
And hit the devil in the ribs!
Guests drink, don't be bored.
Then the doorbell rang.
Come get it
One hundred and tenth congratulations!

The brilliant fifty-kopeck note has already rung,
And there are still so many things to do, undone things,
And there are still a lot of plans ahead,
Come on, hero of the day, go quickly!
Even though you have things to do behind you, you are the envy of others,
You set an example for others
After all, you will never say “stop” to yourself,
And you have no equal, in fact, anywhere!
At fifty you look forty
You'll probably reach thirty soon,
You are getting younger and younger, there are no gray hairs at all,
But no, on the temple, there is a gray one, but only one!
We wish you good health, to the envy of the Caucasian,
Cheerful and cheerful to be - not to seem,
And more money, in all currency pairs -
So that the hero of the day can relax in the Canaries!

Fifty is a decent milestone.
What can you wish for?
Maybe he looks great?
Always be twenty-five!
Fifty is not that much
(I'm ready to live until I'm a hundred).
May the road be smooth
Without convolutions and bumps.
Accept without offense
You are my honest congratulations,
Thinking to myself, nit
That's the only way I could congratulate you!

You have lived in the world for half a century,
And this is a very long time!
A terrible time for a person!
But please accept my congratulations.
I wish to live twice as long,
I wish you to grow wiser every year,
Get wiser and get fatter
And live without any worries!

I'll put the gifts in a canvas bag
And I’ll learn a long, big congratulations!
Half a century is no joke! No anniversary
Celebrate alone, without any friends.
Don’t think twice, rent a restaurant
And have a drinking party here and there,
So that dear guests bring gifts,
After all, they have a lot of surprises in store!

Oh, it's your anniversary,
We will celebrate this day!
Some with wine, some with vodka,
We'll relax a little.
Fifty is the peak of expanse,
The man is not yet old
Manages to have fun
And don’t get tired at all.
I read you congratulations,
And I look at all the guests,
I hope everyone liked it
The world of my strange ideas.

Fifty dollars struck like thunder,
Let our hero of the day be like an elephant,
You will be healthy until you are a hundred years old,
To eat caviar for lunch,
So that you never lose heart,
I always won,
So that he charms the lady,
Always believe in your star,
So that everything is excellent everywhere,
And to have a personal driver!

Half a century has flown by like half a minute!
Please accept this warm congratulations!
Now life will turn out so cool:
Suddenly your income will jump through the ceiling!
Love will certainly light up in the eyes
And youth will light up your smile!
And what you dreamed about is so instant
He will curl up at his feet and whine!
Let blessings fly into the house like flies,
So that nothing happens!

Happy 45th birthday greetings to a woman in verse (comic)

Wonderful anniversary!
Have a nice bright day!
We wish you health
Let us remind you:
Work is not a wolf
And children are not stones,
To the cinema and theater
Very nice with friends
If it's a holiday, go
Appreciate less work!
Good luck in your orbit!

Forty-five have already died down!
There is no point in blaming life.
Don't count the wrinkles
Don't scold the mirror,
It’s not in vain about this date
All the people say:
At forty-five, a man - what you need,
Baba is a berry again! Everyone knows, at forty-five...
It's hard to understand a woman.
Then she wants to be young...
Then the grandchildren will be pampered...
This means that she
Really in love:

Trying it on for himself
Everything that happened in fate.
And we sincerely wish
Long happiness to you! Everyone says that at forty-five
All women are berries again...

The scarlet flower in the world!
I can't find another one like it!
Will you walk down the aisle with me, madam?! The years fly by like fluff from poplar trees,
We are sad as we look at them,
But years are no big deal, 45 is nonsense,
If your faithful comrades are nearby.
So you must always be cheerful, lively,
Smile at friends and acquaintances,
And always be young at heart
At work, with friends and at home!
We wish you health, laughter,
Smiles, joy, success,
We wish to live to 100 years,
Not knowing sorrow and troubles.
Be happy, healthy,
Not sad, not harsh,
Find joy in life
And don't forget us. Many years have passed since then,
When did this miracle happen?
You came into the world
No one knows where.
Happens only once in life
A similar phenomenon.
We sincerely want now
Happy birthday.
May success await you in life:
Public and private
And it’s not a sin to crush now
A bottle of Stolichnaya.
Let everything in life be as before:
Love, confidence, hope,
Movement towards the goal and luck,
And the heart is kind and warm.
They say that at forty-five
Baba is a berry again!
We need to find a berry
To equate you to her.
Be fragrant like raspberries
What lives in the wilderness of the forest,
So that hungry men
They would be drooling.
Stay high like a cherry
Ruining your beauty,
So that everyone reaches higher -
Oh, I wish I could reach you!
Be wonderful like lingonberries,
Like a cherry - poured,
Like currants - healthy,
Like strawberries - expensive.
To preserve for up to a hundred years
Young forty-five! Well, here you are forty-five,
How quickly the years rush by,
But for a reason like this
Don't be upset!
Of course it's not 17
And far from 25,
There is no reason to be sad!
A string of difficult years
Didn't ruin the portrait.
Let's take an honest look:
What were you like before?
I walked - my ribs rang,
And now - what a body!
The bones are overgrown with meat,
Features are rounded:
A delight for men's eyes.

And those eyes with a sparkle
They'll drive anyone crazy!
Honestly we must admit:
17 were good!
How they lived in paradise in “stagnation”,
They served the party faithfully,
According to the call “Be ready! »
They did everything without words. People never tire of repeating,
What forty-five is the best juice for a woman!
She's fresher than berries again,
Even if your temple is whitened with frost.
Let the children give happiness, as before,
And my beloved husband loves me dearly,
Let faith not leave you in hope,
The right shoulder will be reliable.
Let there be beauty, kindness and joy
Life partners for as long as possible,
Let illness, misfortune and envy bypass you,
And conscience does not recognize reproach. Sweet raspberry
You can't find sweeter berries
At forty-five my beloved
Baba Berry again.
You and I are two halves,
They suddenly became whole.
You are my love Galina,
You are my most best friend.
Happiness is fragile in our world
And I want one thing
To make a blunder
Didn't destroy it.
So that the fatal accident
She didn’t divorce you and me,
So that you, my dear
I was always a berry! They say that at forty-five
Baba is a berry again.
You are still a flower for us,
The most color and the most juice!
Happy anniversary!
You are at your peak today
Admiring attention
And full of charm.
The glorious deeds cannot be counted!
Already over twenty-five years of experience.
And in the family everything is sparkle and smooth.
Well done! Keep it up!
What is an anniversary?
The clink of glasses, the noise of speeches...
On weekdays everything is quieter, more modest,
But he lives among people
A man of great soul
All actions are good:
He brings so much good
And care and warmth!
And we're just on our anniversary
We say “thank you” to her.
So let's be more generous
And appreciate such people.
Congratulations with all our hearts!
Be forever young!
Be happy forever
Our favorite person! We would like to congratulate you
Happy 45th anniversary today.
Manage to glorify yourself,
Without losing heart.
Bloom to the envy of women
And be slimmer than a birch tree.
Then under the baobabs
The prince will be taken overseas. Beautiful, gentle and cheerful,
Charming, crazy,
Always loved and in love,
Forever young at heart,
With fire in my chest, with a dream in my heart,
Unattainable like a star
And an unsolved mystery
You stay forever! Not a joke at all - forty-five!
You can sit down and count
What has been done and what has been forgotten?
What was forgotten a long time ago,
What will the mirror tell you in the morning?
What will my husband show me on payday?
Today we will all dance
To your tune -
After all, age - thirty-five -
It's no longer a joke! Well, here you are 45,
How quickly the years rush by,
But for a reason like this
Don't be upset!
Of course it's not 17
And far from 25,
But, to be honest,
There is no reason to be sad!
A string of difficult years
Didn't ruin the portrait.
Let's take an honest look:
What were you like before?
I walked - my ribs rang,
And now - what a body!
The bones are overgrown with meat,
Features are rounded:
Lush bust, hip, whatever you need -
A delight for men's eyes.
There is something to take, something to look at,
There is something to cling to with your bones.
And those eyes with a sparkle
They'll drive anyone crazy!
Honestly we must admit:
17 were good!
How they lived in paradise in “stagnation”,
They served the party faithfully,
According to the call “Be ready! »
They did everything without words. Just a cool anniversary!
Have a nice bright day!
We wish you health
Let us remind you:
Work is not a wolf
And children are not stones,
To the cinema and theater
Very nice with friends
If it's a holiday, go
Appreciate less work!
Good luck in your orbit! When we hear the number "45"
Then the word in rhyme asks for “again”!
And you are again, as before, young at heart,
Again, as before, attractive,
And as once upon a time, the opposite sex -
Falls hopelessly in love with you again!
Or maybe the numbers in the word “45” shouldn’t be there?
Give mystical properties?
And so, everything is clear! Clearer than the morning dawn:
All the magic is inside you! Everyone says at forty-five
All women are berries again...
But I would say these words instead:
You are my darling, my sweetheart, my bride!
Even if not luxurious, small -
The scarlet flower in the world!
You are rain with a rainbow-arc...
I can't find another one like it!
I'll give you not forty-five, but twenty!
Will you walk down the aisle with me, madam?! We came to you for your 45th anniversary,
Pour us some wine quickly!
So that the words flow like a song,
And make everyone proud of you!
We have known you for many years
There is no more responsive colleague!
Who will pour some tea in the morning,
Who kind words blow?
Of course this is our (Name) -
She has a beautiful soul.
Health, happiness and success
Among any stormy days! Even though you are forty-five,
You are not a berry again,
You are young, fresh, beautiful,
You perform like a diva!
Be happy always
Let your star shine
And luck is hovering nearby,
Let it be given to your hands more often!
Drown in love like in the sea
Grief will not touch you,
Don't be bored, don't be sad,
Congratulations! It is believed that at forty-five,
And, probably, for good reason,
We can start everything again,
As if with clean slate.
You can fall in love again
And open America,
Get married and get married
Finally giving birth to a son!
You can still make it...
We wish you today,
Songs that have not been sung - to sing,
Endurance and composure.
Enjoy life more often
Every minute you live.
Be infinitely happy
And always be healthy! Happy birthday to my friend.
You are forty-five today, I remember, I know.
A wonderful age, by the way, I think.
I wish you more dearly.
What is most precious to you?
Peace? Self confidence?
So that by all means on horseback,
Don't be like anyone?
Yes, you are beautiful and smart,
The article is proud and majestic.
And you have every right
Shape your own destiny.
-What do you need if you have everything?
Health? Wild success?
Beautiful radiant sin?
Perhaps you already own everything!
Love?.. But you’re so afraid:
She will break your foundation
You won’t be able to control yourself in it,
You will lose your former peace.
But only she will illuminate everything,
Will fill all aspirations with meaning,
And it will give an incentive for inspiration,
And the soul will be inspired again.
Take a risk, fall in love at least once again!
After all, without love, all life is nothing. You're only forty-five.
Although they give about twenty.
And a year later, no matter what,
Look, they'll give you eighteen!
Jokes aside, on this day
Let there not be a trace of sadness.
And age will not cast a shadow
Bad thoughts Let's go into the garden.
Love to you and career takeoff
We prophesy for the next century.
Live and rejoice without measure,
What a carefree person! Everyone knows, at forty-five...
It's hard to understand a woman.
Then she wants to be young...
Then the grandchildren will be pampered...
This means that she
Really in love:
In my husband, in life, in children, in work...
Wednesday, Friday, Saturday...
Trying it on for himself
Everything that happened in fate.
And we sincerely wish
Long happiness to you!