What if you fell in love with a friend. Fell in love with your best friend, should you hide or confess? What to do, how to make a decision

Love is an amazing feeling. It ennobles a person and reveals his potential in many areas, especially with mutual sympathy. But what should you do if you fall in love with a friend with whom you don’t know how to behave next? And you don’t want to lose your friendship, and it becomes more difficult to endure unrequited love every day. What to do and not be left with nothing?

The friendship period is short

There are several ways out of the current mental trap. If the partnership began not so long ago, then there is a possibility that the person has similar feelings for the girl in love, but is simply embarrassed to show them, so as not to spoil the friendly relationship. In such a case, a hint of further developments will serve as a signal for the guy to begin action. How to organize this?

It is suggested to go to the cinema or cafe, where you can relax a little and drink a small dose of alcohol. The main thing is not to lose control over your actions and not to overact. The moment is chosen when a close contact situation arises. A girl should break her friend zone a little by touching the guy several times more than usual, look at him and not look away for 10-15 seconds. The friend should have the feeling that the usual communication looks a little unusual.

For the most courageous and desperate (and what to lose when the heart rejects the arguments of reason), this cunning move is suitable: under the influence of light alcoholic drinks (it is very important not to go too far with the “degree”) you can try to hug and kiss the guy. If he does not resist and does not try to bring his girlfriend to her senses, then he himself is not against the development of events in such a context. In any case, “indecent” behavior is always attributed to alcohol intoxication. The next morning, it is proposed to forget the incident without damaging friendship.

Another option is to start being shy where it was not expected before. If until now a girl could calmly change her jacket in front of a friend, now she must deliberately hide herself, ask her to turn away and show embarrassment in every possible way.

Provocative clothing is a good help. When wearing a dress with a large neckline, a woman should come closer to the guy more often when talking. If this Short skirt, then you can drop things and bend over to pick them up. The main thing is not to look vulgar. Let everything be natural, but with a hint of temptation.

In a conversation, it is important to regularly emphasize your friend’s merits, to say that you would like to have a guy with the same character or appearance as his. In the company it is necessary to distinguish him from other male comrades. If someone else begins to show signs of attention in front of him, it is better for the girl to find shelter in his company.

They've known each other for a long time

It is much more difficult to cope with feelings and decide to take any reasonable actions if a girl unexpectedly discovers sympathy for her bosom friend, with whom they spend time almost from the cradle, sharing all their secrets. He may know about her love affairs, and she may know about his amorous affairs. How to be and what to do if you fall in love with best friend unexpectedly?

A bold step

If the friendship is really strong, then you can sincerely tell the guy about your feelings and ask for advice. Together, we might be able to find a way out of the situation. And who knows whether reciprocity on his part is excluded. There is no friendship between a man and a woman - either one or both always harbor hopes for more.

Hints

The same technique that was described above is applicable here - you need to present yourself not as “one of our own,” but as a woman. There is a chance that the guy will pay attention to this and consider the girl not from the perspective of a friendly relationship. We have been friends since childhood, but then she was an unformed girl with pigtails, but now the transformation is obvious. Who knows how he will react!

Unrequited feelings

Unfortunately, a guy may actually only see a girl as a friend and not be interested in her as a member of the opposite sex. What to do in this case?

Termination of contact

If communication only brings suffering, then it is worth either ending it completely or suspending it at least for a while until passions subside. Being at a distance, you need to overcome your feelings with everyone accessible ways. Let it be a new circle of friends, meetings with boyfriends, a trip to another city or country - anything that can distract you from gloomy thoughts and a negative attitude.

At times like these, it’s a good idea to have internal monologues with yourself. We must try to convince ourselves that this guy is not ideal and there are still many opportunities along the way to meet a man for life together. Most likely, your friend has shortcomings - you need to focus on them and constantly think about them, so that gradually the ideality of the hero of the novel fades against the background of negative character traits and behavior patterns.

New feelings

An affair with another guy is a good reason to forget unhappy love. New sensations, a candy-bouquet period, “butterflies in the stomach,” awareness of one’s relevance – all this will give an incentive not to get bogged down in an emotional swamp from unrequited desires.

Probably the most practical advice is not to believe in friendship between opposite sexes. Someone is bound to get hooked by the attraction. To prevent this from happening, you need to avoid becoming friends with a guy, especially if you like him initially.

They say that friendship between a man and a woman does not exist. Just recently, you were ready to argue with this statement until you were hoarse and proudly cited as an example your own relationship with a childhood friend... And today, as soon as he, so familiar and reliable, is near you, you blush, stammer and feel warmth in your chest. It happened - you fell in love. What to do next? Fight? Open up? Give up and trust fate - let everything go as it goes?

We all get carried away and give in to momentary impulses. If the object of fleeting passion is not connected with you by long-time acquaintance, there are fewer problems. IN worst case you have to endure an unpleasant explanation and run away forever: “sorry, goodbye, dear, it was a mistake...” With a loved one, the situation is different. Risk the same trusting relationships I don’t want to at all, because love may never work out. But you will lose a friend with whom you can share success, cry about failures, and ask for help. What are the signs to determine that the feelings raging in your chest have really overtaken you seriously and for a long time?

You constantly think about him, regardless of whether you broke up 5 minutes or a couple of days ago.
Previously, you were calm about your friend’s new passions, but now you are going crazy with jealousy.
You invent excuses to meet him once again, although before you could freely not see each other for several weeks or even months.
You constantly look at the man, catch random friendly signs of attention, and then with pleasure go over all the details of the meeting in your memory.
You can no longer communicate with this person as carelessly as before: you hum, struggle to find words and carefully weigh each phrase before opening your mouth.
Flirting with attractive young people who show interest in you no longer seems attractive. But you enjoy, although not without fear, imagining what will happen if He decides to kiss you or confesses his love.
Previously, you were condescending to your friend’s passion for superhero films and sports competitions, but now you know exactly how Thor differs from Spider-Man and easily understand the rules of football.

Take a closer look: what if they have tender feelings for you too?

If your friend starts showing some of these signs—he no longer discusses his girlfriends with you, looks at you often, tends to touch you, becomes taciturn, or makes awkward remarks—you can hope for reciprocity.

Confess to a friend or remain silent?

Before you decide on anything, you need to clearly imagine the prospects. What can you gain as a result? What will you lose? And are you ready to take a risk? existing friendship for the uncertain chance of turning her into love?

Minuses active actions from your side:

You can quietly end a failed love story and maintain friendly relations with ex-partner. But trying to stretch a strong friendship to the level of love, failing and returning to the previous relationship is almost impossible. The awkwardness will still remain. Even if a failed lover readily supports the idea of remaining friends, he will still begin to be wary of you and suspect you of residual tender feelings. And if you have every chance of building a relationship with another young man, then finding a new friend is not so easy.
You went through a global renovation side by side, your scandalous breakup with your “ex” and a trip to the ski lodge, after which you had to faithfully visit your friend in the hospital for two weeks and draw butterflies on his cast leg. You can spend half a day together choosing a faucet of the desired design and can get drunk together in the kitchen after another failed romance. You are definitely aware of all the advantages and disadvantages of each other and are sure that there will be no surprises... Take your time! A friend who has retrained as a lover may reveal an unexpected side that you will not like at all.

Plus:

But there is still one major advantage. You are probably aware of previous novels young man. Try to look at them from a different angle - not as a friend, but as a woman. Why didn't the relationship work out? How did the supposed lover treat his girlfriends? What complaints did you make? What does he expect from his girlfriend? Unlike the new contender for your heart, who needs to be recognized with clean slate, here you can guess how the novel will develop.

Writing down your thoughts will help you see the situation more clearly.

Use an old psychological trick: divide the sheet into two parts and write down all the pros and cons that your confession might entail. Having a clear idea of possible prospects will make it easier for you to make a decision.

We act after choosing

Let's assume that you have already weighed everything, thought it over and made a decision. Surely it was difficult, but the main part is still ahead - it needs to be brought to life.

How to deal with your feelings?

The game is not worth the candle. A bird in the hands is better than an incomprehensible pie in the sky. They don’t look for good from good... If you decide not to give free rein to your feelings, you can give reasonable arguments for as long as you like - they will be of little use. Try to act in two directions:

Stop communicating with the young man for a while. Find a reason to do this without arousing suspicion, because your task is to maintain friendship and not quarrel with the object of passionate feelings?
Keep your thoughts busy. Load yourself with work, learn an unusual hobby, or make a new acquaintance. The latter option is preferable, since during communication it is more difficult to have your head in the clouds than to bend over the keyboard or knitting. And if this is an acquaintance with a young man, it may have far-reaching and very pleasant consequences.

If possible, go on a trip. Nothing heals like that broken heart like new places and experiences.

How to confess?

Most girls find it easier to courageously fight love than to admit their feelings. But this is not about you. You are a desperate person who has weighed everything, brushed aside doubts and is ready to hear a categorical “no” if necessary. However, rushing into an attack with a saber drawn is not good! A careful and thoughtful strategy will be required. What can be done?

Remind you that you are a woman

Change your image. You hardly prepared for friendly meetings in the same way as for a date. Most likely, your friend is used to seeing you in the standard uniform of “jeans, shirt, sneakers.” Surprise him! Wear an elegant blouse with a deep neckline, a flowing skirt, stilettos... Let me see the woman in you!
Arrange an unplanned date. Come up with a reason to go somewhere alone so that it seems like an accident. Let's say a distant relative gave you a certificate for go-kart racing, not knowing that you don't currently have a pair. Would a friend agree to join you? You can go to a club or to the beach (a great reason to show off your figure in a revealing swimsuit!), motivating the trip by the fact that you are in a low mood and need moral support. The more unexpected the proposal, the better: in an unusual environment, you have a greater chance of appearing before the young man in a different light. Let the thought flash through his mind: “Hey, it turns out I didn’t know this girl at all!”
Hint. After you’ve had your fill of karting, dancing or swimming, consolidate your success by as if casually saying thoughtfully: “It’s so easy with you. We would be a great couple." If your friend laughs at this idea, alas, he doesn’t see you as a friend yet. If he hesitates or hesitates, consider that you have sown the necessary seed in his thoughts.
Try to touch him more often. Tactile contact - great power, especially when affecting a man.
Invite a friend to be your ally. Let her one day ask the object of your passion if he is blind, if he does not notice that you have not looked at him as a friend for a long time. Important: let the man have the feeling that he was accidentally told about a secret. This will relieve him of the need to give an immediate answer, will intrigue him and force him to take a closer look at you.

Try the easiest way. Without any tricks, detours or attempts at seduction, just say: “You know... I fell in love with you. Do you think we have a future as a couple?” But remember that by asking such a question, you are going all-in. If he answers: “Sorry, but no,” it will no longer be possible to rewind everything back.

What to do in case of refusal

Even if it will be very offensive, contain your negative feelings

Resentment, shame, disappointment... All these are natural feelings for a girl who has just opened her heart and been rejected. Even if your friend tried to be as delicate as possible, even if he spent a long time describing how amazing and extraordinary you are - but not for him - there will definitely be an unpleasant aftertaste in your soul. Don't give in! Afterwards you will bitterly regret every harsh word that escapes your tongue.

Show that nothing fatal happened to you. If you have enough self-control, smile and say something light on the topic: it’s a pity, but it’s not scary, so it’s not fate. You will worry and even more so cry at home. While you haven't yet decided whether to cut this man out of your life forever, don't force him to go through scenes worthy of women's TV series! Step back for a month or two to get over the rejection, and then act according to the circumstances.

If a man still has warm feelings for you, after a while he will appear in your life to find out if everything is okay.
If a friend does not make himself known, and you are not yet ready to lose him, try to meet in some company on neutral territory. Let him see: the obsession has passed, you are cheerful and are not going to make a scene. True, it will be very difficult to return to the old friendship, but why not try? At the very least, you will maintain good relations.
If you feel that you are no longer able to treat him as a comrade, break ties. What can you do, it didn’t work out. Let this person go and move on in search of mutual feelings.

Human relationships are not subject to prediction. What will come of your confession, and whether it will come out at all, cannot be guessed in advance. If you are ready to take risks to win, desperately bet everything “on red”. Value your friendship too much to put it in danger - look for ways to get rid of the uninvited feeling. You decide.

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Have you fallen in love with a friend and don't know what to do? How can you let him know how you feel without jeopardizing your real relationship? And can the best friend even turn into the best lover, reciprocating tender and sincere feelings your friend yesterday?

Declaring your love to your best friend is big problem, since it can lead to unpredictable results, very different from romantic rose-colored ideas. Of course, it may turn out that he loves you too and wants you to give him a chance, but it may also be that he prefers to stay at the friendship stage. Thus, you must probe his feelings before confessing yours.

Remember, have you ever had the impression that he felt something more than friendship towards you? Maybe he has already taken the first step, for example, starting to treat you differently. A sharp deterioration in your relationship may also be a sign that one of you has felt something much more than friendship for the other and is afraid of his feelings.

Once you fall in love with your best friend, check his behavior

You must take into account that by revealing the whole truth to a friend, you are risking your existing relationship. If he still trusts you and has no problem talking to you about seeing other girls, he's probably not in love with you. His deep feelings about his next passion, clearly demonstrated excitement caused by another person is undoubtedly a bad sign. However, if your friend is Lately became secretive, stopped talking about other women, shows timidity in relationships with you, then we can assume that he, too, is “not breathing smoothly” towards you. Another important warning sign may be his words about your former, current and future romantic and sexual partners. Doesn't he often say that he doesn't see you as worthy?

Find out their attitude towards you by carefully asking your mutual friends. As if flirting, you can ask one of his friends about what your friend says about you.

Also try to make your friend see you as a sexy woman. Start dressing more feminine when you date him. Semi-jokingly, fantasize together about what your romantic relationship could look like. In addition, try to arouse male jealousy in him, but remember - do not go too far.

Tell him: Declaration of love for your best friend

If you are sure that your friend does not love another girl and will not reject your feelings, tell him that you have fallen in love. If his behavior so far has been ambiguous, for example, he often hugged you, as if jokingly, flirted with you, then only by confessing your feelings to him, you can check whether these were friendly gestures or a desire for a closer relationship with you.

Remember, if you love a friend, hiding such feelings is very difficult, and it can ruin your relationship anyway. You already perceive it completely differently, don’t you? By opening up, you will at least know how he feels about you.

Choose the right moment, take him by the hand, or if you have the courage, kiss him in a timid and touching impulse. The most important thing is to avoid aggression when declaring love to your best friend, girls are often inclined to blame him for the flaring up of feelings or for being slow-witted, incompetent, or for giving the reason for a change in the relationship. Do not do that.

Save yourself and your friend from deep expressions of feelings and bouts of crying. Such behavior can only scare him, and he will begin to perceive you as hysterical or an unpredictably dangerous person. NameWoman warns: tears at the beginning of a relationship for a man are a sign of a very difficult and exhausting romance; they refuse this purely instinctively, protecting their own nerve cells.

You will immediately see a sincere reaction, sometimes slightly hidden by the unexpectedness of circumstances, to a pure and calm confession. If he does not reciprocate your feelings, there is no point in asking him to think, weigh everything, analyze everything. Don't be pushy or demanding. Feelings cannot be forced. Try to get out of this situation with humor.

Hello! My name is Egor, I'm 18 years old. And I began to feel some kind of craving for guys. Also, I happened to fall in love with my best friend. All the time I want to touch him somehow, look at him. Recently he saw off some girl, and I surprised myself. Jealousy. Very great jealousy. At night I dream about him again. And it seems to me that he is already beginning to suspect something about my feelings. I don’t know what to do.. Thoughts slipped through that it was better to die than if he found out about it. I hope that you will help me understand myself, calm me down to some extent and tell me what is better - to hide further, or to confess. Thank you very much!

Fell in love with your best friend, should you hide or confess?

Dear Egor,
Very often in adolescence feelings for people of the same sex arise. This is quite common and does not make you homosexual. If you are confident in your sexual orientation and your jealousy is a consequence of real feelings, then this completely changes the matter. It all depends on the degree of your friendship and the level of your mutual understanding.
In Western psychology and psychiatry, it is customary to advise opening up in such cases and not keeping these feelings to yourself. The more you hide them, the greater the emotional burden it will be for you. If you are sure that he can understand, then confess. Unfortunately, the risk of losing a friend is great, especially in Russian society.
Try to find out his attitude towards gays, and based on this, make a decision. In the end, your own health is more important. Suppressed emotions very often lead to unwanted mental problems.
The main thing is to remember that your condition is NORMAL, you are healthy and there is nothing wrong with the fact that you adhere to a different sexual orientation.
Good luck with the upcoming ones too!

Spending a lot of time in the company of her friend, the girl suddenly begins to understand that she feels not only friendly affection for him, but something more. If you fall in love with your best friend, it’s not the end of the world, and it’s not the tragedy of your whole life! This situation is not unique, and therefore, first of all, you should understand that you are not alone, and you should not despair.

Do not rush to confess your feelings to him, because this may end in an unpredictable ending. A happy ending is possible when it turns out that your friend is also in love with you, and you can become happy couple. But events may not develop according to a happy scenario! What if he doesn’t want to change his status and wants to remain just friends with you? Will you be able to continue communication after declaring a love that has no chance of being reciprocated?

We propose to dwell on this issue in more detail and try to understand what to do if you fall in love with your best friend. To start you need to figure yourself out, and understand exactly what feelings a friend has for you. Try to remember, were there any cases when you thought he was in love with you? Perhaps there were hints, or some attempts at recognition on his part? To begin with, it would be good to understand your feelings for your friend.

You say to yourself: “What have I done, I fell in love with a friend!” But is it?

The realization of falling in love does not come to us immediately. There are cases when only a few years later you realize that you have fallen in love with someone who has always been with you - your best friend. All this time, you can even date other men without understanding your feelings. But how do you understand that you have fallen in love with your best friend? What should you do? In this case, the TOP 10 signs of falling in love will be useful.

You always want to be in his company. The world blossoms around him, you feel comfortable and pleasant. When you fall in love, all meetings with him are like the most best holiday per year.
When you hear compliments from his lips, you immediately melt.
You realize that you are ready to go against his relationships with other girls.
To be with him, you are ready to cancel any date with someone else.
It’s disgusting to hear from him about other girls, especially to see them together.
Before a simple meeting with him, you spend a lot of time preparing for this, thinking through your image “from” to “to”.
You share it with your girlfriends, but there is no desire to introduce them.
You try to stay in touch with him every day. If you couldn’t get in touch, you worry about it.
When you hug him, you want to stay in his arms for as long as possible.
It won't be difficult for him to cheer you up. Moreover, he is the only one who can do this.
The heart stops and beats very often at the mere memory of him.

If this is all about you, then you should understand that it is impossible to combine.

I fell in love with a friend, what should I do? Consider whether to hide your feelings further, or hint at your attitude towards him. We advise you to devote one of the days to conducting a psychological analysis: you will need to weigh all the pros and cons of your future decision. If everything suggests that the time has come to show all your cards to your lover, don’t hesitate.

Don't forget that your friend may have his own personal life.

There are cases when guys leave their girlfriends for the girlfriend they are in love with, but they meet too rarely. Even if a friend is single, this does not mean that he wants to have a second half, especially in your person.

Ideal girlfriend and perfect girl have different characteristics.

When choosing friends, we do not look at appearance, but when choosing a girl for guys, this point plays a big role.

Falling in love is good, but how to confess your love? And is it necessary to do this? To begin with, you need to create an atmosphere that will predispose you to more explicit topics.

To do this, you can go to a cafe or cinema, rent bicycles, or have a picnic. If it is difficult to relax, you can drink a little wine; it is important to know the limit so that the confession does not develop into drunken delirium. Be the first to violate the friend zone, you can gently touch him a couple of times, look closely into his eyes for about ten seconds. Are you ready for bold and desperate actions? You can hint to him that you like him.

Give your friend compliments, praise him, because he is the best for you!

If a guy doesn't try to bring you back to your senses, he probably has a mutual crush on you. Otherwise, everything can be attributed to alcohol intoxication, and try to forget this incident the next day, continuing your friendship. Perhaps in the future everything will work out in your favor.

In the company of your lover, try to be feminine, wear beautiful dresses with cutouts, short skirts, but don't get vulgar.

Unrequited feeling

Having fallen head over heels in love with your friend who does not perceive you as an object of desire, you have several ways to resolve the situation:

Again, you need to understand yourself. If communication only brings suffering, you need to stop it. Nobody says that you need to break the connection forever, but at least until the moment when passions calm down.
Try to find yourself a new hobby, you can go with friends, go on a date with a new boyfriend, do yoga, go to the gym. Those. do everything that will distract you from depression and negative thoughts.
Don't be afraid to talk to yourself. You need to explain to yourself that your friend is not ideal, you will definitely meet the man of your dreams who will make you happy. Focus on your friend's shortcomings, even if it seems that there are none at all.
Be yourself- affectionate, cheerful, kind, sweet and don’t lose optimism.
Have an affair with another guy. This is a great way to forget about unrequited love. New feelings will await you, a candy-bouquet period, you will understand that the other guy needs you.

And remember: You shouldn’t throw a tantrum and, crying, sort things out with a friend. Such behavior will frighten him and make him think that you are a dangerous and unpredictable person. Tears in relationships are very scary for many men who are afraid of exhausting romances.

Pay attention to his reaction; it may be undisguised under the weight of unexpected confessions. If your friend has not reciprocated, there is no point in begging him to analyze the situation and think about dating again. Try to get out of this situation with humor, because you should never force feelings! Another option could happen: you fell in love with a friend of a friend. But that's a completely different story.