The story of starting life with a blank sheet of paper. How to start life from scratch? An easy way to start a new life

“I’m tired of this city with its constant traffic jams, I can’t stand my greedy colleagues anymore, I urgently need changes,” sooner or later such thoughts come to everyone. How to start life from scratch when everything is literally crumbling under your feet? Why is development the only way out? What is the point of parting with the past to gain the future? Simple tips will help you achieve the desired effect, despite life's difficulties. It's time to win, not show the white flag of defeat!

I want to change or how to start life from scratch

Change your environment and go on an unknown journey full of new discoveries - this is what you can say about life changes. Postponing the potential opportunity to become happy is a disease that affects almost everyone today. Start the path to the goal and stop halfway or completely shelve the idea. This is an example of old habits that overcome human consciousness.

Even under the pressure of constant stress, it is easier for a person to give up. Or is this a misconception? To find out, it is important to make a firm decision and want to change your circumstances irrevocably. Fate, the Higher Powers (you can call them anything) do not like those who complain and pretend to be victims.

Believe in a better future

It is difficult to imagine life from scratch if you do not develop a positive image of the world. Do you dream of living in a big house? It is important to imagine everything down to the smallest detail: how many rooms, what kind of yard, what kind of furniture there will be. There will always be doubts that nothing will work out, and dreams are just a figment of fantasy. This speaks of fear and a complete lack of faith in the best. If you morally attract happiness and goodness, and deny all existing negativity, the world will become noticeably brighter!

Acquire a hobby and find a calling

It is important to find a place for new hobbies that will become a symbol of a new stage of life. It’s worth thinking right now: “What have I wanted to do for a long time or what is my calling?” Since adolescence, the thought of jumping with a parachute has been in my head. Why not take the plunge this month? Having trouble swimming? Great idea to sign up and go to the pool! Now is the moment when the foundation for personal growth is laid.

Say goodbye to the past!

How to start life from scratch with 100% probability? Don't live in the past and move forward! does not occur only because there is a “Stop” lever called past grievances, regrets, fears. All this should not escalate into the present.

Why stand still and not let change knock on your door? When a girl decides to start a new relationship, she breaks off old contacts with guys. In the past there were constant problems with money - poverty should not be allowed to creep into life, but eradicate it. Any thought from the past attracts a similar thought in the present.

Give up harmful behavior

A clean slate, if you don’t even have the desire to get rid of bad habits? If laziness and other shortcomings interfere with development, they need to be protected from control at the helm of life. To acquire any habit, it is enough to set aside 21 days (as practitioners say). Why is the habit of putting yourself in order every morning taken into account, and morning exercises - vice versa? We need to break our stereotypes, which are deeply ingrained in our consciousness.

One thing can be replaced with another without any problems. Don't watch TV for 1 hour, but go for a run or read a book. Time is such a valuable resource that it is foolish to waste it in vain. Having overpowered yourself at the first stage, then it will be to some extent even funny for your weakness.

Dramatically change your real life

A new life in the present time will not come unless the connection with the past is broken. Why were precious 10 years wasted in a job you didn’t like? It's time to look for an interesting place, even if the payment is a little less. If something doesn’t suit you, and the situation depends on yourself, why waste many more years on an unloved activity?

The best motivation is to think that today is the last day of your life, during which you need to make the most important decisions. Do you want to leave troubles behind? It's time to act, even if it's incredibly scary and hard to dare. After a lot of effort on yourself, the situation will fall off your shoulders.

Change your social circle

You can start life from scratch with people who constantly complain and blame circumstances... but you shouldn’t! Social circle directly affects a person's morale. Positively minded, open people are a source of support on the path to development. Communication should in no way bring negative associations.

When we strive for the best and surround ourselves with like-minded, harmoniously minded people, this is a great strength. If at every meeting Nastya constantly complains about problems in her personal life, you should avoid frequent meetings. Each situation is individual, but there is only one truth!

Strengthen morale

When there is no mood to win, and in words a person seems to be moving mountains, nothing works out. Our weaknesses, especially, are constrained by willpower, without which we can’t get anywhere. Do you have an internal temptation to put it off until tomorrow? Stop throwing words to the wind. So, we retreated every single day, but now this is not permissible!

How to start life from scratch? Don't wait for the best moment - it may simply not come. The tips we offer will definitely move you from a dead point and allow you to look at yourself differently. “I will definitely succeed and this time I will not fail my most important exam,” believe in miracles and reach new heights!

I want to enter the New Year not only freed from work debts or unfinished tasks, but also starting life as if from scratch. At the same time, in order to “reboot” yourself, it is not at all necessary to quit your job or radically change your image. You just need to listen to our advice.

On this topic

Before starting life from scratch, you need to understand that the “past” life does not suit you. This is precisely what will be the main impetus for change - the irrepressible desire for these changes. It may arise because you feel uncomfortable in the environment in which you live. You can name more local reasons that make a person feel the need to change his life. This may be an unloved job that only drains resources without replenishing them in return with joy from achieved goals, completed plans, or the process itself. A relationship in which you no longer feel loved, which it’s time to break off, but you just can’t decide because of certain fears, can also be the reason for the desire to change your own life. Together with psychologists from the Secrets Center for Family and Sexuality Education, we made sure that your transition to a new life is made correctly.

Step one - desire

We have already said that the basis of the path to change is the desire to change. In order to start life from scratch, you need to understand that this desire is stronger than all the fears that can go side by side with life changes. For example, dismissal from a job you don’t like may be accompanied by a long search and a temporary (possibly quite long) absence of a new job; ending a relationship you have been in for several years may be associated with fear of loneliness; moving from one city to another can be associated with financial problems. There is always something we are afraid of. And this fear very often acts as a limitation on our desire, preventing us from taking the most difficult thing on the path to change - the first step.

Step two - ask yourself what will help you start on the path to change

- Complete all unfinished business. You cannot start a new life leaving old matters unresolved. Finish the book that you haven’t been able to finish reading for a long time, fulfill all the promises you made - in general, do everything unfinished that is in your “past” life.

- Do the cleaning. This is the most banal, but very valuable advice, which implies that you have to put things in order not only in your home, but also in your own head. Get rid of all old and unnecessary things (clothes can be sent to a second-hand store, furniture can be returned to the store and you can get a discount on the purchase of new ones). All things that cause you negative emotions, memories, or that you no longer want to see will need to be removed from the apartment. And don’t stick it somewhere on a balcony or on a mezzanine - this will only create the appearance of change.

- Leave the past in the past. Be it an ex-partner who regularly calls you, or a colleague from work who is friends with you and whispers behind your back. All the people you wouldn’t want to see next to you in your new life need to be left in the past: stop answering calls, go into open ignoring mode, stop thinking about these people.

- Define a clear goal that you want to achieve during the changes. Highlight the most important thing you want to get from these changes. This could be a new job, a new relationship, it could be a guide to certain values ​​- love, a feeling of happiness, restoration of physical or psychological health.

- Visualize your dream. You must not only understand what you are going to, but also see it, imagine it in the brightest colors. This is one of the techniques of neurolinguistic programming - to tune in to a known positive result and move towards your goal with complete self-confidence.

New Year's Eve and New Year's holidays are a great time for change. Psychologically, we perceive the coming of next year as a worthy occasion for setting global goals, completing old tasks and emotional “zeroing”. In order to really change your life, don’t put off your first steps, start acting right away, don’t be lazy and believe in your strength.

Exercises that can help you get started:

Summarizing. Very often a person has a desire to take stock of his “past” life before starting a new one. This is a good technique that will help not only find extra reasons for changes, but also identify new goals and plans.

Collage of wishes. This technique helps in the process of visualizing a dream or goal. First, make a list of wishes that you want to fulfill. Then, armed with whatman paper, paste onto it pictures, clippings or articles from magazines that you associate with a specific desire. The collage must be hung in a prominent place so that it is always before your eyes. This will help you remember what you want to strive for.

And finally: attitude is very important in any business. Approach change decisively, boldly and confidently. You should feel the joy of change and the sense of satisfaction that will accompany completing tasks and achieving goals.

WE ALL HAVE A MASS OF QUESTIONS FOR OURSELVES AND THE WORLD, with whom it seems there is no time or it is not worth going to a psychologist. But convincing answers are not born when talking to yourself, or with friends, or with parents. Therefore, we asked professional psychotherapist Olga Miloradova to answer pressing questions once a week. By the way, if you have them, send them to .

How to start life from scratch?

From childhood we are told that we need to study better, achieve more, always run somewhere, hurry up, finish school with honors, go to college as quickly as possible - you’ll get better later, and then - no, you need to get married, and it’s time to have children, otherwise you won’t have time, eggs are not sperm, they are finite. But in the end, when this endless stream calms down a little, there is a chance to find yourself in an unloved job, or with an unloved husband, or unwanted children. Or, conversely, without the children you dreamed of so much, but in the abyss of a hated job. Or in general, out of luck - it just happened that way, out of a feeling of contradiction, for example. The main thing is that you woke up today or tomorrow, and the following thought comes to your mind: wait, this is not all that and not me, is this what I dreamed about?

Olga Miloradova
psychotherapist

Despite the fact that I strongly advocate that every person should give up living other people’s lives and finally begin to live their own, I do not advise giving up everything at once and running to some ashram in India, even if the book “Eat, Pray, Love" has proven this to be the best way to resolve all problems. First, sit down and think, more than once, why you are where you are? How did you end up in this place? Did your own dreams or the hopes of loved ones bring you here? Who are you and what do you dream about? Did you dream of writing screenplays, but became a lawyer because your dad wanted you to? Or did you really want to be a lawyer, and dad wanted the same thing, but you were so infuriated that dad offended mom that, to spite him, you decided to become, well, for example, a flight attendant? Perhaps your own dreams and your honestly hard-earned decisions brought you here, but what you have is no longer viable? Or maybe you never were, but you overestimated your strength.

In order to honestly admit many things to yourself, you often simply don’t have the courage. How to accept the fact that you are not smart enough for a scientific career? Or your hands are not dexterous enough to be a good surgeon. Or that your husband is no longer attracted to you, either mentally or physically. In the latter situation, it is much worse if he is still the same close friend and comrade, but you don’t want sex with him at all. In most cases, our lives are not black and white, so any situation, even the most unbearable, is not always unequivocally bad. It has at least this plus - it is familiar to you, in it you know how to behave, where to hide and how to survive, and everything new and unknown is fraught with fear that suddenly everything will be even worse.

Unfortunately, life does not provide any guarantees and the choice is always yours. This is why you can meet the love of your life, but end up with someone with whom everything is so familiar and routine. Or, on the contrary, try to escape when you suddenly fall in love against the backdrop of a long calm, and then realize that you have truly betrayed your person and will not return you. And yet, if you really thought carefully, weighed the pros and cons and realized that everything you have does not suit you and is not viable, then this fear of change must be overcome. Yes, there are no guarantees for success, but any changes are a breath of fresh air, a new experience, new paths and opportunities.

Let go of your past. Don't compare what's happening to you now
with what you gave up

Think about who you are going to start this new life with. Are you taking your partner with you or is that the one you are going to give up? Think about those people with whom you are used to communicating: are they all really your friends and necessary for you, or do you maintain relationships with some of them out of politeness/out of old memory, or maybe it is they who are pulling you back? Evaluate the pros and cons properly, you are starting a new life, you must understand who is part of this new life and who is not.

Let go of your past. Don't cling to it, don't compare what's happening to you now with what you gave up. Yes, this is your experience, it is definitely useful in some way, you probably learned a lot from the mistakes you made, but in general, try to take only positive memories from your past life and turn the page.

Now it's time to make real plans. Make a list of what you would like to change and what specific steps you can take towards these changes. Try not to embrace global categories; it is better to plan changes in small steps, setting short-term realistic goals. It is also advisable to avoid phrases such as “I must” when drawing up your plan. You are changing your life for the better. Do you want that. Your small changes are your desires and joys, and not the sword of Damocles of duties and obligations.

For every doubt, make more efforts and try to cultivate positive thinking.

And since we’re talking about small steps, you can start changing with your appearance, for example. Often, even something as small as a new hairstyle can help you feel like a new person or at least mark the beginning of a new phase. Start thinking like a new person, under no circumstances look back with thoughts of what would have happened if... Nothing new will begin until you end the old one, this is especially noticeable when trying to build a new relationship without losing hope of resuscitating the previous ones. So, don't forget to close these doors tightly. But at the same time, forget about things like “I can’t” and “I won’t succeed.” We talked about setting realistic goals, right? This means that for every doubt, make more efforts and try to cultivate positive thinking in yourself. Besides the fact that we are what we eat, we are much more what we think. If we think of ourselves as a failure, then every further action will only confirm this, right?

And don't forget that we are still limited in time. The longer we wait, the more difficult it is to start something new, on the one hand (after all, the brain’s ability to learn and remember decreases with age), and also the more difficult it is for us to admit that all these years we have been doing something wrong. Imagine, it’s one thing to leave an abusive partner at 25, and another thing to leave at 50 and think that most of your life was devoted to suffering, it’s much easier to pretend that everything is fine until the last moment. However, whoever you are and whatever you do, and even if you are not going to change anything at all, try to at least sometimes distance yourself from your professional identity. First of all, because you are not just a journalist, marketer, veterinarian, student - you are a much more multifaceted personality, and who knows what talents are still hidden in you? And even without talents, there is a child in each of us who deserves unconditional love. And not for anything, but just like that.

Stunning and favorite profile.

Have you ever thought about what could be if we had the opportunity to rebuild everything we want in our lives? Without pain, without doubts, without ghosts of the past... Without remorse, the trail of past failures and painful partings with anyone or anything... Without false expectations, disappointments and stereotypes that kill initiative... Without thoughts of “I must”, “I can’t”, “what should I do?”... Without being tied to things that are no longer needed, memories that cause pain, fears that fetter the future... Today’s text is exactly how start life from scratch, how to prepare your consciousness for total zeroing and let changes into yourself and your life.

YOUR DREAM HOUSE IN YOUR MIND

Now imagine that you have such an opportunity. I'm serious, close your eyes and try to see with your inner vision how your old world is collapsing, collapsing without your pain and regrets, everything is fine, everything is for the better, your soul is quiet and calm. And on its ruins you can lay a new foundation, build walls and ceiling - the house of your dreams. There is space all around, cleanliness, emptiness and white walls... What would you definitely like to add to this house without being restrained by material boundaries? Imagine down to the smallest detail, details, sensations...

I feel the creaking under my feet and the smell of fresh wood wafting from the parquet floor or new window frame. I feel a light cool breeze tingling my bare shoulders, I inhale the aroma of a blossoming world...

Let there be high-rise buildings outside the window. They always attracted me, like a cozy shell of the life seething inside them. Especially in the evenings, when each window lights up with its own shade of warm light.

No unnecessary things, a complete absence that we have been dragging along with us since childhood. Only what is needed at the moment, for a new life and a new you. What are these things and objects? What are the walls decorated with? What kind of curtains are on the windows? How spacious are the rooms?

I never needed space; the tighter it is, the more comfortable it is sometimes. But I would definitely like more light. Snow-white purity with an emphasis on greenery and wood. Dream...

Why did I start building a new life at home? Of course, this is all external. Global personal transformations are best started from within, and housing may vary depending on the situation and location. But I am absolutely sure that one thing follows another. Our own home is a sacred place for us, a space of relaxation and constant renewal of physical and mental strength. Security is one of the basic needs, and a home is the foundation, the foundation of a future personality, the ability to sort thoughts and plans along with things. I started a new life precisely from personal space. But you can go straight to the next point.

BUILDING YOUR DREAM PERSONALITY

If you had the opportunity to become that incomparable personality, which you perform in your most cherished dreams, would you take advantage of this chance? Become who you feel like in your dreams: without fear, doubt and bias? Possess those qualities and character traits that so attract you in others? To have and be able to achieve what you want, to create without barriers or shame? Forget the past that hurts, give up bad habits that hinder personal development and the flourishing of life? Change yourself completely from head to toe, from thoughts and internal feelings to external appearance?

Events of the past make the path difficult, acting as a terrible obstacle to building the personality of your dreams. We react to stereotypes. On the opinions that people have about us. About self-image based on experience and successful or unsuccessful attempts. We do not take into account the external factors that contributed to success or failure. We do not think about the internal obstacles or impulses that prompted or inhibited us in the process of implementing certain ideas. We remember only the facts. "Won? I’m great, I can continue to do everything.” “It didn’t work out? I’m a failure, I’m not capable of anything, there’s no point in trying.” Who even told us about this? Why suddenly such categoricalness? “Oh, how I would like to forget everything, change myself, start over... If only I could...”

Do you know what's most interesting? What hinders us is not so much other people’s opinions about us, but own interpretation and ideas about these opinions. You can’t get into other people’s thoughts, you can’t dive into the inner world of another person, but your own imagination works wonders and wraps a false interpretation of other people’s ideas about us skein by skein around a tangle of uncertainty. It's hard to stop. You continue to act automatically, programmed by other people’s attitudes and expectations. But Oddly enough, we ourselves are the programmer.

It is quite possible to write any program for yourself and create yourself exactly the way you want to be.

The only question is how exactly to do this.

Now on to practice. Imagination comes into play again. We place a little man in the house of our dreams - an empty, clean and transparent phantom. We slowly fill it with pleasant memories, bright thoughts, pure hopes, desirable qualities and UNCONDITIONAL FAITH IN SUCCESS.

Only we ourselves set the program, whether we succeed or not. Only we ourselves create the image of our dreams.

Of course, you won’t be able to forget all the bad things at once, cross out the past, throw presets and stereotypes out of your head. But I can assure you from my own example that a decent amount of doubts, uncertainty and negative thoughts disappear instantly and for no reason. It works and gives a colossal influx of vital energy. I will tell you in more detail about how I dealt with the endless stream of negative thoughts that overshadowed all my aspirations. For now, just try some exercises to visualize the update.

HOW TO START LIVING THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAM

A dream life is the colors with which we paint our first imaginary home and ourselves.. You can draw anything, extending the boundaries of your life far beyond the boundaries of your home, as you wish. Nobody ever limits us in anything except ourselves. Nobody has the right to do this. It is important to remember that there are many opportunities open to us. We have the right, and even the obligation, to bring into our lives what is truly important, interesting and necessary for us. This is a complex and lengthy process, but quite real.

We are able to build both the dream home and the desired personality. And they are limited only in time. Many uncharted roads lead to dreams, transformed into goals, and you can turn or go onto them completely unexpectedly. And everything is much simpler than it seems. It is important simply not to be afraid to choose at least one of the visible directions, take the first step, walk, run and not give up, gradually acquiring faster vehicles. Good luck everyone!

FROM VIRTUALITY TO REALITY
I'M STARTING LIFE AGAIN. FIRST STEPS

In the project, I live through all the agreed upon moments with you and share my experience, showing what works for me and what doesn’t. And here are a few points from my personal plan for building a life from scratch.

1. Get rid of negative thoughts that prevent you from living and acting. (Done, post about this coming soon).
2. Get rid of the unpleasant past by decluttering your home (there will most likely be a series of articles about this).
3. Create your dream home from the available possibilities and what you have at hand.
4. To get to the bottom of the most painful and far-hidden memories and strip them of their emotional coloring. ().
   
5. Remember what brought you joy in the past and find new sources. Add this to your life ().
   
6. Live imaginary dream lives (more on that very soon).
7. Bring your external image into line with your internal feelings and aspirations.

That's all for now. The task is not easy, to be honest. But I'm sure I can handle it. And I'm confident in you. If you want to start life from scratch, join in silently or sharing your impressions in the comments. It's more fun and easier together! 😉

No matter who you are, if your life is not going the way you would like, you can start over from scratch if you want. No one says it's easy, but if you plan to correct your past mistakes and strive for the life you truly want to live, you can become the person you want, no matter the obstacles. Never let people who don't believe in you undermine your self-confidence or think that you can't succeed in your situation. If you ever have doubts, remind yourself that starting over is a great way to change your life for the better, and people who succeed are respected by everyone. Start your journey to a new life with the first step.

Steps

Part 1

How to make a life change plan

Determine what went wrong. Write down everything that didn’t happen the way you wanted, so that you can sort everything out. Instead of making excuses, be honest about what really happened. Sometimes facing a situation you had no control over is more difficult than facing something that happened due to your inaction or poor decisions. There are people who find it harder to admit that they contributed to or caused trouble. A turn in life begins when a person acknowledges what happened.

• Of course, not everything bad that happened in your life was entirely your fault. It may be that you became addicted to drugs or have bad relationships with people, but it may also be that you did not grow up in a supportive environment or were simply the victim of simple bad luck. Don't blame yourself for things you couldn't control, and learn to accept the bouts of failure and try to overcome them, rather than using them as excuses for your current situation.

1. Learn from your failures. Even if you're unlucky, there are always ways to soften the blow if you find yourself in this situation again. If you failed the exam, what was the problem? Are you distracted or poorly prepared? Did you over-study and became so nervous during the exam that you couldn’t remember anything? Has something important happened in your life, such as the end of a long relationship?

   • Ask yourself these questions without judging or analyzing the answers. Don't look for excuses and blame others - stop doing this from the very beginning. You can only blame another person as a last resort. If it turns out that it really is his fault, you will have to reconsider your priorities and relationship with this person. Has a friend, parent or significant other constantly distracted you from your studies asking for attention? How can you learn to respect your personal space so that this does not happen during your next exams?

2. Consider whether you need to reconsider your goal. While this may seem extreme, it can help you reconsider the direction you want to go before making a plan to change your life. For example, do you have to go to university to succeed in a major that can make you happier? Would you be better off taking a shorter apprenticeship or vocational school? If you are a physically active person and will feel happier and more fulfilled when you see the results of your work, then a scientific or office career may not be as good a choice as construction, electrical installation, HVAC, soldering, automotive mechanics or forestry.

   • Change your approach: your new life should not go in the same direction that failed the last time. Life is about trial and error (not failure as such). This means that failed attempts are just that: attempts that failed, such as medical school or law school not being for you. If you went to law school because you have a passion for politics, being active in politics, advising on political campaigns, etc. may be the best option for you to achieve your long-term goals.

3. Ask yourself what you can improve. What changes can you make in your life to prevent this from happening again? If you are affected by a natural disaster, you can purchase emergency supplies and store them in a more accessible location so that if the same situation happens again, you have everything you need with you. If you've lost your job or broken up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, think about what you can do to prevent this from happening at your next job or in your next relationship.

   • Perhaps certain people or situations were dragging you down and were one of the factors that led to failure. Review your relationships and think about whether you have problematic friends or acquaintances who are preventing you from becoming the person you want. If yes, then you may need to end such a relationship.

4. Determine your priorities and choose your goals. Once you know what went wrong and why, it's time to plan a new life. A plan is not a clear schedule for your life. Its points may change over time, you will encounter obstacles and encounter unexpected fortunate turns and opportunities, no matter which path you choose. If you know what you want and more or less understand how to get it, then it's easier to start setting short-term goals to achieve what you want.

   • Don't worry if you don't have the perfect 10-step plan for success. You may have a harder time achieving your goal if you write something like “Find your calling” or “Love yourself more.” Start with a few steps that you know will improve the situation. As you move forward, you will have a better idea of ​​what you really want to achieve success.
   • The most important thing is to start taking action. Although the expression “actions speak louder than words” may sound like a cliché, it is absolutely true. You can talk as much as you like about how you are going to start a new life, but until you take the first step towards it, your words will have no meaning.

5. Talk about your plan with a friend or family member who can support you. It's best to talk to someone who had nothing to do with what happened, especially if they had a similar problem. When you are on the verge of expulsion from school, the situation can be saved. Talk to older students who have faced the same challenges and find out how they overcame the situation. If you've been through a breakup, ask others what they thought about how you behaved and how your boyfriend/girlfriend acted. You might be surprised. Your friends might even have foreseen this outcome of events in advance.

   • By sharing your struggles and worries with someone who cares about you, you can feel like you can truly start over and get some good advice.
   • If you tell others about your plan, you may be more likely to implement it. If you actually tell someone you want to turn your life around, there's a good chance you'll do it because you'll feel accountable to that person for your words. So if you don't stick to the plan, you'll feel like you're letting yourself down. And people who care about you.

6. Decide on your intentions. It is advisable that they be preceded by earlier steps. Make time for these intentions, for example, you can devote several evenings to reading books. Sometimes determination and willpower help you fulfill your intentions. Sometimes this requires you to transform your life. If you turn off your instant messaging program on your computer while you're doing homework, you won't be engrossed in long conversations with friends until your allotted study time is up. Your life change plan can be built from a series of tiny steps. You won't be able to turn everything around in one day, but if you continually make small changes in your life, you will achieve success.

   • One of the best ways to train willpower is to give yourself small rewards for each item you successfully complete. Each time you do your homework, mark your achievements on the point scale. Tracking small steps of progress and giving yourself small but frequent rewards is one of the best ways to achieve your goal. Think about how the game is structured - how often and for what you get points. If you distribute your rewards the same way points are awarded in your favorite game, you can get the same effect to change your habits.

7. Get rid of your bad habits. For every bad habit, you have a real excuse. By understanding what needs and desires your bad habits fill, you can find the key to turning them into good ones. Your favorite video game may be more rewarding than studying because you get points, "you win" boxes appear, etc. If you use a point scale for academic achievement, set up a reward system and make the points worth a little easier to obtain than in the game, it will help you deal with your problem. If you're eating too much to feel good but you're gaining weight, replace that habit with something else that makes you feel good.

   • Every bad habit satisfies a real need, so your job is to figure out how you can do it without hurting yourself or others and helping yourself achieve your goals rather than dragging yourself down.

8. Find people who will support you. Usually it's good if it's your parents or good friends. It cannot be the person who got you into this situation. Give less time and attention to people who pull you back. Being angry at them means giving them time and attention. It’s better to use this energy not for anger, but for the desire to surpass yourself and say: “I will do it. I’ll show them” than to use it against these people. Every time you complete another item on your list, you can tell them how great it is to take the next step forward.

   • Of course, there will be obstacles along the way. It `s naturally. Therefore, it will be easier for you if you have people to talk to about your plan, successes and failures.

9. Look firmly ahead and don’t trust anyone who thinks you won’t be able to start a new life. If you have succeeded before, then you have evidence that you can achieve heights. The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it will be for you to choose the best direction. The best path is the one that brings you joy, where true passion ignites your efforts, and the process is so enjoyable that you would do it even if you were not striving for the goal.

   • On the way to achieving your goal, do not forget to have fun while doing it. Think of it not as a challenge, but as an exciting adventure that will have its successes and failures, but will ultimately lead you to where you need to be.

   Part 2

   How to stay strong

   1. Be positive about everything. On the path to a new life, it is important to remain optimistic and energetic. Even though it may seem impossible (especially if you live in truly terrible conditions), the more you try to look at each day with a smile instead of complaining and feeling depressed, the more likely you are to get what you want. need to. Instead of complaining, talk about something good in life, something you are looking forward to. While it's important to let out negative emotions from time to time, focusing on the bad parts of your life will only make them harder to deal with.

      • Spending time with happy and positive people can also help you maintain a positive outlook on life. If you spend time with people who see the worst in every situation, you are much more likely to feel the same way.

   2. Stay confident. Of course, when you want to completely overhaul your life, it's easy to get discouraged, but you should remember the things you love about yourself instead of the things you need to work on. While it's important to acknowledge your shortcomings and try to improve them when possible, it's also important to remember all the things you love about yourself and what makes you great. Make a list of your positive qualities and the things you are good at. Work to add to this list with words and actions.

      • One way to increase your self-confidence is to do what you are good at. Nothing will bring you more satisfaction than succeeding at something that comes easy to you.
      • Although self-confidence may take a long time to develop, it doesn't hurt to project it, even if you don't feel it. Stand straight, hold your head high and look straight, not down. Keep your hands at your sides to be open to possibilities rather than closing yourself off to new contacts. The more often you “fake” your confidence in this way, the more likely you are to actually feel it.

   3. Feel responsible. It is important to take responsibility for your actions and past mistakes that led to your current situation. Once you admit where you went wrong, you can move forward much faster. If you insist on blaming the world for 100% of your problems, you won't feel like you have the tools to fix things. If you are responsible for the negative moments in your life, then you will feel fully responsible for your achievements.

      Don't be too hard on yourself. While it is important to be responsible, it is equally important to treat yourself with care and forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes, and you shouldn't feel like you're a failure just because you took the wrong path. Treat yourself with empathy, kindness and compassion and you will find that moving forward will be much easier. If you find fault with yourself, it will be almost impossible to feel confident and positive, and this will prevent you from achieving your goals.

      • Being self-critical is not the same as blaming yourself. Criticism helps: it shows why you do certain things and whether there is something more you can do. She defines the problem. Blaming yourself is pointless torturing yourself. It's already unpleasant for you, and criticism won't motivate you to do anything different. If you blame yourself or others, the situation may repeat itself again. If this happens more than once, seriously look into this possibility.

   4. Apologize to everyone you hurt. It is important to correct old mistakes before moving forward with a clear soul. Think about everyone you might have hurt or harmed when you were going through a tough time. Try apologizing to them in person or in writing and tell them how sorry you are for what happened. They may not forgive you completely or believe that you are actually going to change until you prove them otherwise. But it is still a step towards better changes.

      • If the thought of hurting someone depresses you, it will be harder for you to move forward. Although it can be difficult to completely let go of a bad past, apologizing to the people you've hurt can help you take a step in the right direction and feel confident about yourself.

   5. Help others. You may feel like helping other people is the last thing you can do when you can barely get your life in order yourself. But if you're ready to stand on your own two feet and start living again, slow down for a moment and help someone who needs it. This person could be a friend who is having a tougher time than you, a neighbor who is feeling lonely, or even an adult who wants to learn how to use a computer.

      • By helping others, you will not only change their lives, but you will also see that you truly have a lot to offer society and the world at large.

   6. Acknowledge what you have lost in life. Starting over will take some courage, but you will be rewarded with endless freedom. Acknowledge what you have lost and given up in leading your current life. This way you will begin to realize what really matters to you. Being honest with yourself is a very powerful driving force. It will help you begin to be more attentive to yourself and your needs and choose the right path.