How to support a guy in difficult times. How to behave and what to say

Sometimes life presents a guy with unexpected and unpleasant surprises, and it is so important that in difficult times there is a person nearby who can provide such necessary support. Of course, in such moments, intuition comes to the aid of many women, but not always and not everyone will find the right words and way of communication.

In some cases, wanting to help and not understanding how to do it correctly, you can even harm and aggravate the already serious condition of a loved one. That's why it's so important to have an idea of how to support a guy and help him get through difficulties.

It’s easy for any girl to spot moments when her boyfriend is out of sorts. All people are different, and everyone needs their own approach, which a loved one can always feel. General rules of behavior will help you navigate difficult moments and provide such important support.

Create a cozy home environment in which the guy can relax. Take care of him, cook his favorite dish, turn on good music, give him a relaxing massage, a bath with aromatic oils, or offer to watch an interesting movie. Leave him alone with himself or doing something he loves. It is important that the guy feels that home is a place where he is loved, appreciated, welcomed and allowed to be himself.
Exude optimism and confidence that all problems will be solved in the future, even if you yourself have a hard time believing it. The guy should feel your faith in him.
Try to help with unobtrusive advice, smoothly lead him to solving the problem, or push him towards specific actions, but let him choose the solution himself.
It is important for some people to take their mind off the problem for a while and switch their attention to something else, so suggest taking a walk in the park, going to the cinema or theater.
For many people, it is important to speak out, after which the soul becomes lighter and options for solving the problem appear. In this case, become an attentive and patient listener, do not interrupt him and say a few words of encouragement at the end.
Don’t let your boyfriend fall into long-term depression, support him psychologically, because love can work wonders, and tenderness and affection are its best helpers.

Tell him important words of encouragement that will help comfort him during difficult periods:

It is not your fault;
Your decision will certainly bear fruit;
You will definitely succeed.

No matter how independent and strong a man is, he needs your support and expects it from you - be sensitive.

How to support a guy during illness

Health problems are difficult for everyone. In such cases, do not show pity, try to cheer up the sick guy in a humorous manner and set him up for a speedy recovery. It will be a support to know that his presence is missed by friends and family - don’t be shy to say so. Shift your attention to what he will do when he is cured. Plan an exciting trip together to a long-awaited place or an interesting walk.

How not to behave

Many girls, sensing a guy’s bad mood and not understanding how to behave correctly, can cause even more harm in such situations. What can't you do?

What kind of support does a man want to receive from a woman in difficult moments of life?
Relationships can only be harmonious when people who love each other feel support and complicity at the right moment. A man will never let go of a woman who knows how to support a loved one in difficult moments of life. When a man feels bad, support from his beloved will be the best form of help. But not all women know how to express support correctly.

This is not their fault. They simply act by analogy with the type of help that they themselves would like to feel. Meanwhile, the psychology of men is very different from the psychology of women. Men in life are guided by slightly different rules and principles. Accordingly, support from a woman should look different.

So, for example, none of the men will like it if a woman begins to show pity, believing that she will be the one who will act as reliable support. Pity, even with very good intentions, hurts male pride. A man will not tolerate even the hint that he is pathetic, completely powerless, and weak in a woman’s eyes. If in a particular case a man really has such qualities, the woman must still demonstrate that for her he is the strongest. This will give the man faith that any difficulties will subside sooner or later.

You should not console a man in moments of despair. Consolation can manifest itself in the fact that a woman will begin to look for the “pluses” or positive aspects of the problem. But this will only deepen the man’s belief in his own helplessness, and at this moment he wants to feel completely different feelings. If you see that a man is feeling bad, do not intentionally try to cheer him up with something. Sadness will still not be replaced in an instant by joy. And your feigned gaiety will most likely only irritate a man.

Men are designed in such a way that they must experience all the negativity accumulated in their souls on their own. Don't be too intrusive at such moments. Even if you want to caress a man or please him in some way. Attempts to distract a man from problems will also be unsuccessful. Men are good at distinguishing true female intentions from those deliberately constructed. And if you are obsessively affectionate, you will further aggravate the problem. Don't ask the man about what happened. Don't try to find out from him what could have upset him so much. While heart-to-heart conversations can bring relief for women, sharing problems with loved ones is, frankly, problematic for men. By asking him about difficulties, you are forcing the man to make an incredible effort on himself.

Therefore, it is better not to pester, but give the man a chance to be silent for a long time. Indifference on your part in this situation will not be offensive to a man. On the contrary, it will be of more benefit than depressing questions. Remember the desire of a man, under any circumstances, to look the most successful and strong in front of the woman he loves.

Believe me, a man does not want to share his failures with you, not because he does not need your support, but for the reason that this will make him feel completely powerless. In the absence of knowledge about what kind of support men need, it is better not to try to provide it at all.

One wrong word will push a man away from you forever. Above all, be tactful. Many women, when they see their beloved man in a state of sadness and despondency, immediately “turn the arrows” to themselves, asking the question: “Is it because of me that you are so sad?” If a man is offended by you, he will definitely let you know about it. But do not exclude the possibility that the man at the moment feels precisely his guilt. You should not sort things out by trying to get the truth.

Just give the man the opportunity to be alone with himself. After some time, he will definitely reach out to you. And if you intrusively approach him with your unfounded suspicions, you will only make it worse for both of you. It is also not appropriate to constantly make offers of help to a man. It is better not to interfere in the situation at all for some time. You still won’t solve a man’s problems together. If a man has made a serious mistake in something, he will prefer to deal with it on his own without your participation. You are not his mommy, and he himself is already out of childhood. Therefore, do not try to save him or get him out of life's troubles.

This will only deepen his thoughts about himself as a loser. Of course, problems can be completely unpredictable. And sometimes a woman can really provide the necessary help. However, in most cases, it is better to wait until the man himself asks for help or something specific. A woman’s desire to support is quite natural. And if support fails in practice, then this upsets the woman.

Your support should begin first with understanding what your loved one needs. Observe his mood. Such an observation will certainly provide some clues. If, in the normal state of things, your sensitivity to each other is sufficiently developed, then there should be no problems with how to provide a man with support. The right tactics will come naturally. Your heart will certainly tell you the right decision. If, when meeting your loved one after work, you notice sadness on his face and have no doubt that he is in trouble, then don’t show it. Let your behavior be the same as always. However, be sure to observe the male reaction yourself. Women can usually accurately guess whether a man wants to talk, or whether this will upset him even more. If a man answers ordinary questions with great reluctance, it is better to give him the opportunity to retire. Short monosyllabic phrases from him will be a signal to you that it is better to postpone heart-to-heart communication “for later.” In this case, leave the man alone in the room for some time, without involving him in any conversations. Don't disturb him by constantly checking on him. If a man wants to talk to you, he will definitely start the conversation first. You can show your participation by simply being nearby and silently doing so.

Sit with the man or lie next to him. If you see a man reading a newspaper, take a magazine and silently start reading too. If a man reacts calmly to your touches, it means they don’t bother him. It all depends on his individual characteristics. Some men quickly calm down if the woman they love massages their neck and back, while others will become tense from even a purely accidental touch in moments of difficulty. If a man wants you to be closer, he will approach you or sit next to you. The main thing here is not to impose. Even if a man sat down next to you or touched his head to your shoulder, do not regard this as his desire to talk. A man most likely doesn’t want to talk at all. Just give him the opportunity to enjoy the peace of your presence. The right solution can be considered preparing a delicious and satisfying dinner for your favorite one. You can brew herbal tea or cook something he especially likes.

Many men intuitively strive to “eat up” problems and stress. And it should be noted that this option is by no means the worst. If he doesn’t express wild delight at the sight of delicious food, rest assured that he truly appreciates your care and attention. This will be the best support from your side. A man, of course, will be very grateful for such an attitude towards himself. For the sake of good intentions, try not to rattle dishes in the kitchen, don’t start cleaning as if there will be no other moment for this, don’t ask your man to play with the children, just leave him alone. At the same time, be completely open to the man. He must understand that at any time you will respond to his requests and talk to him if necessary. There are situations when a man has problems, but the woman he loves is far away. You can support a man from a distance by asking just once whether you can help him with anything.

If he says that you are unable to help, note out loud that he is a great fellow for you, that you see his enormous strength and believe that a solution will definitely appear. Be sure to express your approval of any of his intentions and decisions. It’s better not to talk about the problem itself at all, not to get involved, so to speak, in the details. Focus on hidden male resources, which, of course, every man has.

By creating an atmosphere of calm, eliminating tension from communication, and abandoning obsessive politeness, you will provide the man with the best support in moments of difficulty. This will not go unnoticed by him, and you will be convinced that the man will also be ready to lend you his reliable shoulder under any circumstances.

First, understand and accept one thing: even though you have known each other for a long time and you know the person inside out, now this does not mean at all that his behavior will meet your expectations. “There are certain general stages of experiencing grief. You can easily focus on them, remembering, of course, that each of us still needs an individual approach,” explains psychologist Marianna Volkova.

Our experts:

Anna Shishkovskaya
Psychologist at the Gestalt Center Nina Rubshtein

Marianna Volkova
Practicing psychologist, specialist in family and individual psychology

How to support someone if they are in shock

Stage No. 1: usually the person is completely shocked, confused and simply cannot believe the reality of what is happening.

What should I say. If you are really close friends, it is best for you to be close without relying on the phone, Skype or SMS. For some people, tactile contact and the ability to see their interlocutor in person are very important. “At this time, conversations and attempts to express condolences are not necessary,” Marianna Volkova is sure. - None. Therefore, if your friend asks you to stay close and refuses to communicate, do not try to get him to talk. Contrary to your expectations, things will not get easier for him. It’s worth talking about what happened only when your loved one is ready for it. In the meantime, you can hug, sit next to, hold hands, stroke the head, bring tea with lemon. All conversations are strictly on business or on abstract topics.”

What to do. The loss of a loved one, sudden terrible illnesses and other blows of fate require not only reflection, but also a lot of worries. Don’t think that providing this kind of help is easy. It requires a lot of emotional investment and is very exhausting. How to support a person in such a situation? First, ask how you can help. A lot depends on what state your friend is in. You may have to take on organizational issues: calling, finding out, negotiating. Or give the unfortunate person a sedative. Or wait with him in the doctor’s waiting room. But, as a rule, it is enough to at least deal with everyday issues: clean up, wash the dishes, cook food.

How to support a person if he is acutely worried

Stage No. 2: accompanied by acute feelings, resentment, misunderstanding and even aggression.

What to do. It is clear that communication at this moment is difficult. But right now, a friend needs attention and support. Try to come more often, to be in touch if he is left alone. You can invite him to visit for a while. It is important to clearly understand whether you are mentally ready for this.

Words of condolences

“Most people, when expressing condolences, use common phrases that do not carry any meaning. Actually, this is a manifestation of politeness and nothing more. But when it comes to a loved one, something more than formality is needed. Of course, there is no template that fits every situation. But there are things that definitely shouldn’t be said,” says Marianna Volkova.

If you don’t know what to say, be silent. It’s better to hug one more time, show that you are nearby and ready to help at any moment.
Avoid expressions like “everything will be fine,” “everything will pass,” and “life goes on.” You seem to promise good things, but only in the future, not now. This kind of talk is annoying.
Try not to ask unnecessary questions. The only appropriate one in this situation is: “How can I help?” Everything else will wait.
Never utter words that could devalue the importance of what happened. “And some people can’t walk at all!” - this is not a consolation, but a mockery for a person who has lost, say, an arm.
If your goal is to provide moral support to a friend, first of all you yourself must be stoic. Sobbing, lamenting and talking about the injustice of life is unlikely to calm you down.

How to support someone if they are depressed

Stage No. 3: at this time the person becomes aware of what happened. Expect your friend to be depressed and depressed. But there is good news: he is beginning to understand that he needs to somehow move on.

What should I say. We are all different, so the best thing you can do is ask what exactly your loved one expects from you.

Some people need to talk about what happened.“There are people who, in a difficult situation, vitally need to speak out loud their emotions, fears and experiences. A friend doesn’t need condolences; your job is to listen. You can cry or laugh with him, but you shouldn’t give advice or put in your two cents in every possible way,” advises Marianna Volkova.
Some people need a distraction to cope with grief. You are required to talk about extraneous topics, to involve a person in resolving some issues. Invent urgent things that require full concentration and constant employment. Do everything so that your friend has no time to think about what he is trying to escape from.
There are people who, in difficult life situations, prefer loneliness - this makes it easier for them to cope with their emotions. If a friend tells you that they don't want any contact yet, the worst thing you can do is try to get under their skin with the best of intentions. Simply put, to forcefully “do good.” Leave the person alone, but be sure to make it clear that you are nearby and ready to provide all possible help at any time.

What to do.

In the first case, help of a domestic nature is often required, especially if your loved one is not one of those who easily negotiate, communicate and can easily choose the best of several proposed options.
You must help your friend move a little away from what happened. If you are connected by work issues, you can carry out distracting maneuvers in this direction. A good option is playing sports. The main thing is not to torture yourself and his grueling workouts, but choose what you like. You can go to the pool, court or yoga together. The goal is to try to have fun.
In the third case, you only need what is asked of you. Don't insist on anything. Invite them to “go out and unwind” (what if they agree?), but always leave the choice up to the person and don’t be intrusive.

How to support someone when they have already experienced grief

Stage No. 4: This is a period of adaptation. One might say – rehabilitation.

What should I say. It is at this time that a person re-establishes contacts, communication with others gradually takes on its usual form. Now a friend may need parties, travel and other attributes of life without mourning.

What to do. “If your friend is quite ready to communicate, there is no need to try to somehow behave “correctly” in his company. You should not try to forcefully cheer up, shake and bring to your senses. At the same time, you cannot avoid direct glances or sit with a sour face. The more familiar you establish the atmosphere, the easier it will be for a person,” Marianna Volkova is sure.

Visit to a psychologist

No matter what stage a person is in, friends sometimes try to provide help that is not needed. For example, forcefully send you to a psychologist. Here you will have to be especially careful, because sometimes it is necessary, and sometimes it is completely unnecessary.

“Experiencing trouble, sadness is a natural process that, as a rule, does not need professional help,” says psychologist Anna Shishkovskaya. – There is even a term “grief work”, the healing effect of which is possible provided that a person allows himself to go through all stages. However, this is precisely what becomes a problem for many: allowing oneself to feel, to face experiences. If we try to “run away” from strong, unpleasant emotions, to ignore them, the “work of grief” is disrupted, and “stuck” may occur at any stage. That’s when the help of a psychologist is really needed.”

Cons of support

The tragedy they experience sometimes gives people a reason to manipulate others. We are, of course, not talking about the first, most difficult period. But you may be required to be present continuously for a long time. Your personal life, work, desires will not be taken into account. Let's say you invited a friend to stay with you for a while - a fairly common practice. But all the agreed upon dates have long passed, and the person continues to visit. You are silent, because it is impolite to talk about inconveniences, but the natural result will be a damaged relationship.

The financial issue is no less important. It happens that time passes, everything that was needed has been done, but the need for investment does not disappear. And you, by inertia, continue to give money, afraid to refuse. " I noticed that you are starting to sacrifice yourself and your interests, which means there is a reason to talk and clarify the situation,” recalls Anna Shishkovskaya. – Otherwise, the accumulated resentment and indignation will one day provoke a serious conflict with mutual claims. It would be good not to lead to a scandal, but to define the boundaries in time.”

Personal dramas are just one of those very troubles that friends find themselves in. And your behavior during this period will certainly affect your relationship in one way or another. Therefore, you should rush to help only if you sincerely want it.

Whatever mutual understanding reigns in your couple, you are unlikely to be able to feel exactly the same as your husband or boyfriend. After all, men identify themselves with their work more than we do. In addition, dismissal inevitably destroys some of his ideas about himself, relationships with people, and changes his usual routine. Your man will need time to comprehend this moment of crisis. Everyone copes with the situation in their own way, depending on their temperament, experience with similar experiences and history of dismissal. But in general, all reactions to temporary unemployment can be divided into 4 types - depending on men’s mood and activity. We hope that the recommendations of our psychologists will help you play the role of “friend of harsh days” in the best possible way.

Sufferer - mood is at zero, passive

How he behaves:

Rarely leaves the house. And he spends time in the company of TV series and online games.

But it doesn’t seem like he’s enjoying such leisure time, although he used to be delighted with World of Tanks.

When you manage to lure him away from his computer with the smell of his favorite fried potatoes and ask about his plans, all you hear in response is complaints and whining.

The change did not affect the loved one in the best way. Competition, ambitious goals, a clear daily routine kept the man on his toes, and suddenly it was as if someone had pressed the “stop” button. Housework seems boring to him, job searches seem humiliating. He looks either slightly depressed or completely crushed. Your relationship has turned into a love triangle: you, him and the sofa. At first, you sincerely supported your loved one. But now more and more often you catch yourself thinking that a little more, and encouraging words will turn into sarcastic remarks about his unplanned vacation. Hold on if you want the situation to change! Psychologist and hypnotherapist Anastasia Makeenko suggests doing the following exercise: “Remember everything you like about your partner, why you love and respect him. Think about situations in which he behaved like a real man and write them down. This list will help you restore faith in your loved one. All you have to do is remind him yourself how great he is, and his mood will improve, at least for a while.” Encouragement will be much more effective if you back it up with a specific example: hanging a mirror - great! Fixed the faucet in the kitchen - great! Gradually, you restore his positive attitude towards yourself, and the man will be more willing to start looking for vacancies.

Popular

Rescuer - mood at zero, active

How he behaves:

Irons ties and constantly goes to interviews.

He returns from them angry and assures that “everyone around is idiots!”

He talks only about work - former or future.

Obviously, your man believes that any problem requires an immediate solution. And even more so looking for a job. But emotionally he is not yet ready for change, so he is chasing all the hares at once. Due to uncertainty and lack of understanding of his own goals, he fails interview after interview. Any of your attempts to help is met with hostility: “You see, I’m already doing everything possible!” Then what should you do? Look, maybe it’s common among his friends to compete with each other? Or his parents remind him too often: “You are the breadwinner! Let's act!" - so he tries his best. And here you are with your advice. And the hares keep running and running... Psychologist Svetlana Markova believes that in this situation it is especially important for a man to feel that you are on his side and completely trust him. Help him discover the true cause of failures, which lies not in the plane of “action”, but in the plane of “attitude”, “self-awareness”. The following direct question will help switch a man to another level of perception of the problem: “And if your friend found himself in a similar situation, what would you advise him to do?” His answer will tell you what to do. Most likely, your loved one admits that he feels insecure. Then you can together explore the origins of this feeling and develop different options for dealing with it. For example, you can start by rehearsing various interview scenarios at home, in a calm environment.

Veselchak - excellent mood, passive

How he behaves:

It doesn't look like he's doing anything to find a job.
But he finally found time to visit friends and relatives, minor home repairs and exercise.
He has fun with all his heart when he hears a joke like: “The horse that worked the most on the collective farm, but it never became the chairman.”

Enthusiast - excellent mood, active

How he behaves:

He doesn’t want to get a “just any” job and has already rejected several, in your opinion, good offers.

He says everything is under control.

Try to avoid:

advice - “I would if I were you...”

comparisons - “But Sveta’s husband...”

obsessive offers of help - “Let me talk to my dad about this...”

questions - “How and why did this happen?”

regrets - “My poor baby...”

Long song

It is estimated that it takes approximately 23 months to experience the stress of losing a job. At the same time, a person sequentially goes through a number of stages: from shock and denial to the return of confidence in the future. But sometimes a man has to make a forced stop at one of the stages.

The already alarming situation is getting worse - month after month passes, nothing changes. “Even in this case, it is important to remember that deep down a man considers this development of events to be wrong and wants to become a leader and breadwinner again,” says Anastasia Makeenko. If at this stage you continue to sympathize and feel sorry for your loved one, then you join him emotionally and support his belief that “everything is bad and nothing will work out.” It’s better to change tactics and convey the following to your partner: “I see in you a person who has always participated financially and morally in our relationship and supported me. I know that you want and can change everything.” This mantra is not magic, but it can get things moving. Probably, it is precisely this attitude that can inspire a man, if not to look for vacancies, then to look for a specialist who will help solve the problem.

And now there

It happens that a man has not worked for several years, and it is quite obvious that he is not going to change anything. Most likely, he simply can afford it, which means someone else is providing for your family. Is this you by chance?

Fascinatingly…
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Spend some time with friends if you think it will help. If your guy is the type of guy who needs time alone or alone with his significant other, then you shouldn't drag him to a party or invite a hundred of your best friends to your house. But if your guy gets energized by being in large groups and enjoys being around a lot of people, then organizing a low-pressure social outing might really make him feel better.

Try to avoid alcohol. Alcohol may help your boyfriend forget about his problems temporarily, but it will only make things worse for him. Alcohol only temporarily suppresses emotions, but does not heal.
When your boyfriend is upset about something and you two decide to spend time with friends, be extremely attentive to his needs. If he wants to go home early, don't resist.

Play board games. Who said that playing Monopoly is no longer fashionable? Pick a game that you both loved playing as kids and spend the evening playing together, or invite a couple of good friends over. Play games, have fun. Let it be a simple evening. Pop some popcorn or some simple snacks that will remind you of your childhood and party away the night.

This will work if your guy isn't much of a gambler when it comes to gaming. You don't want him to be even more upset about losing.
You can even go shopping to find a game he would like to play with you. It may seem useless, but believe me, it can definitely cheer him up!

Do something he's been wanting to do for a long time. Think about whether there is something that your boyfriend has long dreamed of doing or trying. Maybe he wanted to try a new Italian restaurant and eat a giant pizza or watch Twin Peaks? If it's something simple enough and doesn't require a lot of effort, you can surprise him with your thoughtfulness by organizing the evening in accordance with his old dreams.

But of course, no pressure. He shouldn't make a reservation at a restaurant he's been wanting to try if he doesn't want to leave the house at the moment. However, if there is something simple and easy to do, you should try it.

Lure him out of the house. If the problem is not that serious, then the best way to cheer up your boyfriend is to go for a walk. The company of people, a breath of fresh air and the feeling of the warmth of the sun's rays can have a big impact on his mood and make him feel less lonely. If he sits in a dark room alone with sad thoughts, his mood will definitely not improve. If you persuade him to go outside, even just for a light walk, this can give him an extra boost of energy and give him the necessary strength.

Create an easy target instead of just asking him to go for a walk. For example, you can invite him to go for a walk to get coffee or go for a short run. This will give your walk more meaning.
If you're both doing something at home that can easily be done outside, such as reading, then try to persuade him to do it in the park, just so that he doesn't think it will require much effort.

Be active together. Invite your friend to go for a walk, run, or throw a ball. It doesn't really matter what you do. The important thing is that physical activity will ensure that endorphin (the hormone of “happiness”) enters the body and that it finally gets out into public. Even a half-hour session at the gym can improve his mood. If he's shaken up by something, but not so much that it would prevent him from leaving the house, then some physical activity can lift his spirits.

When your boyfriend is upset, he may become stuck in one place, eat unhealthy foods, and pay less attention to his appearance. An active pastime can help him get out of this hole.
Of course, if he feels weak and tired, then you should not persuade him to do something more energy-consuming than just a walk.

Show affection, but only if that's what he needs. Sex or any other form of intimacy may not always be something that can improve his mood. He may become even more upset if he feels that you view intimacy as the only way to cheer him up. However, the right kind of affection can definitely improve his mood. Give him a kiss and a hug to make him feel less lonely. Squeeze his hand, place it on his shoulder, run your fingers through his hair, or do anything else that will make him feel better.

If your boyfriend is very upset and needs to be alone, do not force your affection. Be careful about his reaction to your touch. If he reacts positively and tries to get closer to you, then show even more affection and love. But if he is trying to distance himself from you, then for now it is worth weakening the manifestation of physical contact.

Prepare his favorite treat. Another way to cheer up a guy is to surprise him with his favorite treat. It could be his favorite dish from a Thai restaurant, cookies or ice cream you made, or even Italian pasta. This will not only have a positive effect on his taste buds, but will also show him the extent of your love and care towards him.

If he is alone at home, then visiting him with his favorite treat will be a great idea.
Of course, if he is severely depressed, he may not want to eat much. But if the reason for his bad mood lies in a bad exam grade or something similar, then this may be the best medicine.

Have a picnic. Invite your guy to the park, a nearby green area, or have a simple and sweet picnic in your backyard. Make his favorite sandwiches, bring some of his favorite treats, don't forget his favorite drink. You don't have to put in too much effort. Those that show him your care are enough. This can be a wonderful surprise for the day when you know he's feeling down about something.

You don't have to try too hard to make it look romantic. It is important that it is fun, easy and relaxed, and that he sincerely enjoys himself at this moment.
Bring along a joke book, sports magazines, or anything else that will make the picnic even more fun or will cheer him up if he's not in the mood to talk.

Rent his favorite childhood movie. Invite your guy over, make some popcorn and other movie treats like Coke in big white plastic cups and M&Ms, and let him choose his favorite movie to watch. It could be any favorite childhood movie that he hasn't watched since then. It doesn't matter how stupid he may be or that he thinks he may not stand the test of time. This will make the viewing even more fun.

Create a cozy movie theater atmosphere at home instead of dragging him to a real one if he has no desire to leave the house and be around people.

Be understanding if he just needs time alone. It's understandable that when your boyfriend is upset, you'll go to great lengths to support him and make him feel better. However, sometimes the best thing you can do is be understanding and leave him alone for a while, knowing that he will soon get back to normal. You don't need to force him to do anything more than he would like to do now or put pressure on him to feel better, otherwise you might make things worse.

You may think that your boyfriend can feel better only when you are around. However, things can only get worse. He, seeing your efforts to cheer him up, may fall into even greater depression due to the fact that he cannot do anything about his mood. He may need to spend some time alone to sort out his feelings, and you should support him in this intention.
Or maybe your boyfriend wants your company, but he just doesn't want to do too much. If this is the case and he's not in the mood to do anything more than just eat and chat with you, then you shouldn't push him.