Resuscitation of trust in relationships. How to regain the trust of a loved one after lying to a guy, how to regain trust

Svetlana Rumyantseva

A strong relationship between a guy and a girl can lead to a long family life. Such relationships must be built on love, fidelity, mutual understanding and, of course, trust. If this is not the case, then, as a rule, they will not last long and will begin, which will lead to a rupture. It's hard to build relationships without trust. People make mistakes, and a situation can happen to anyone after which it will be difficult to establish relationships. But what to do if you suddenly lost the trust of your loved one? Will he be able to trust you again? How to regain the trust of a young man?

Some couples face circumstances where the trust of one partner is called into question. You can lose trust in a person for several reasons:

different views on life;
treason;
lack of trust from the very beginning of the relationship;
inconsistency between words and actions;
lie;
failure to deliver what was promised;
jealousy;
inflated demands on relationships and their inconsistency in reality.

In these cases, there is a possibility of separation. When a girl feels that she is not trusted, this leads either to a constant relationship with whom it is difficult to continue a relationship, or to frequent quarrels. A girl in this position wants to quickly achieve the guy’s favor and trust and establish relationships.

Lost trust can be regained; of course, you will have to try hard, although sometimes it seems that this is impossible. Don't give up and leave, it's easy to do. After all, you can leave at any time, isn't it better to try to make things right? Then, even if nothing works out, you will feel better knowing that you did everything possible. How to regain a guy's trust and maintain your own dignity?

Lie

To regain trust and the previous attitude, you first need to clearly understand the reason why it was gone. And only then act based on this. If you are no longer trusted because of a lie, the most important thing is not to continue to lie, even in the most insignificant situations. After all, if the guy realizes that you are lying, he will once again be convinced of his suspicions. Always think before you say or do anything. Imagine how a young man would react to words or actions, because often girls think that this is an innocent prank, but a guy can be enraged. If you really want to win back your guy's trust, control yourself.

Most likely, during this time you will get used to being honest and not deceiving your loved one, and in the future this situation will definitely not happen again.

Any lie, even for the good, can become decisive in a relationship.

Failure to keep promises

If a guy stops trusting you because you don't keep your promises, stop making them. And fulfill what you already promised at that time. Sometimes we cannot fulfill our promises due to unforeseen circumstances, then explain everything to your loved one and he will understand you. And if you promised without thinking about whether you could keep it, and now you’re worried, confess to him, and he will appreciate your honesty and sincerity.

Jealousy

If a guy doesn't trust you because of jealousy, although you don't give a reason, it will be very difficult for you. Avoid close communication with friends, colleagues, acquaintances when he is not around. It’s good if you have mutual friends, you don’t have to sit at home and not communicate with anyone.

It is important for such guys to know where you are going, who you are going with, who called, why you called. Perhaps after some time he will understand that you can be trusted, and that no one else is needed except him, and will calm down.

Treason

The hardest thing is to regain a guy's trust after cheating.

Life always presents us with temptations and tests our strength. But, unfortunately, not everyone can stand firm and not give in. And it doesn’t always end with the girl leaving for another guy. They realize what they have done and may lose their love, regret what they have done, and try to regain the trust of their loved one. It is incredibly difficult for guys to survive the betrayal of their girlfriend.

And also hatred, disappointment, disgust. This destroys dreams of a future together. They do not listen to explanations, do not perceive tears and pleas for forgiveness. At this moment, the relationship is on the brink. What should be done to save them? For men, cheating on a girl is not just a loss of trust, but also a blow to a man’s wealth. They begin to think that they could not satisfy the woman’s needs in intimate life. Some men withdraw into themselves for a while.

If he really loves, there is a chance that the relationship will improve over time. Here, a lot depends on how the woman tries to regain lost trust.

Don’t crawl in front of him, begging for forgiveness, maintain your dignity even in such a difficult situation. A pitiful appearance in tears and on your knees will disgust a man, or he will think that you are playing so that he will regret and forgive. Pull yourself together, this behavior commands respect.
Don't make a scandal and don't blame him for what happened. They insulted him very much, and they are even trying to blame him. Perhaps he himself understands that there is guilt, but there is no point in talking about it. Be friendly, considerate and discreet. When you calm down, you will discuss this topic, but only without accusations and hysterics.
Don't talk about cheating in detail, even if the guy demands it. This will make him even more painful and will fix in his mind the details of the betrayal that will stand before his eyes. It's better for him not to know about it. Briefly indicate the fact of betrayal and do not return to this conversation.
Do not involve other people to resolve the situation. Only you must control it, otherwise everything may end badly. Justifying you, your family and friends, trying to save the situation, can say a lot of unnecessary things. And some “well-wishers” will spread gossip, embellishing the event. And a man in such a state hardly wants to see anyone else, much less listen.
If you have children, do not ask to stay for the sake of the children. He will take this as blackmail and will not want to continue the conversation at all. And you yourself will regret it later. Even if he stays, it is unknown how he will behave. Will he try to take revenge on you or will your life become unbearable because he is only with you for the sake of the children?

Don't demand instant forgiveness, it won't happen. It takes time for him to calm down, think, remember your happy past and decide for himself whether he wants to continue the relationship. It may take quite a lot of time, but most likely, if the guy didn’t dump you right away, he loves you, and, therefore, will forgive you. It will be difficult for both of you (to forgive and forget about what happened and to earn trust). But love will help you get through this difficult time, and the relationship will become stronger, because you almost destroyed it, which means you will begin to appreciate what you have much more.

17 February 2014, 15:40

If there is a crack in the relationship and you feel that your significant other doubts your words and actions, it is worth thinking about what caused these doubts and How. The key to a good relationship is love, mutual understanding and trust in a couple, and if any of these factors are lost, problems will not keep you waiting. If you are not sure about your loved one, there will be constant suspicions and checks, and who among us likes to feel under constant control and feel that they doubt us? This will lead to quarrels, reproaches and scandals, which in the future can lead to a breakdown in relations. If you feel that a period has come in your couple when your partner no longer trusts you, try to analyze the reasons for the loss of trust, and, if you feel guilty about this, try to take all possible ways to regain the trust of your loved one. We will consider further what are the main reasons for doubts about one’s soulmate.

WHY IS TRUST LOST?

Trust can be compared to a very thin layer of ice on a river - the slightest pressure or wave - and it will crack into a million pieces. Also the ability to trust a person. We can say that we have forgiven, forgotten the lie or betrayal and are ready to rebuild the relationship, but trust in our partner is very difficult to restore. And even if a person forgives his loved one with his heart and tries in every possible way to let go of the offense, his mind stubbornly reminds him of the disappointment he experienced. Trust is the ability of a person to completely open up to a partner and treat him as himself, not to keep secrets and secrets, not to be afraid of appearing weak or scared in front of his chosen one.

Once, having betrayed a person’s trust, it is very difficult to regain it again, because, as the famous saying goes, you can't fix a broken vase, but we will still try in our article to find the answer to the question of how to regain the trust of a loved one. The main prerequisites for loss of trust on the part of a loved one are the following situations.

First on this list is betrayal, as the most powerful and widespread betrayal, which is the most difficult to forgive. Regaining trust after betrayal is a very difficult task, which requires a lot of effort and a lot of time, but even this does not guarantee you one hundred percent success - the psychological character of your partner is of great importance.

A situation when a person’s words differ from his actions can shake trust, because in this case, before asking a partner to fulfill a request, a person will think about whether it would be easier to do everything on his own, because then it will be one hundred percent.

There is an opinion that he who deceived once will deceive again. Before you lie to your loved one, even in an insignificant detail, think about it, because this can lead to constant doubts about your words in the future.

Don’t make false promises, remember that if you promised a person to do something, he is counting on you, and if you fail to deliver, he will be disappointed and lose trust in you.

Jealousy can also be characterized as an indicator self-doubt and in a partner. A person who considers himself self-sufficient and treats himself with respect is unlikely to show excessive jealousy. By showing that you do not trust your spouse, you cause the same attitude towards yourself, and this often becomes the reason for the loss of trust between partners.

Sometimes the reality we face does not meet our expectations. When we started our relationship with our loved one, we expected a beautiful life, but in reality we ended up with everyday problems and financial difficulties. This turn of events often leads to mistrust and reproaches towards each other.

Do not try to impress a person by giving a guarantee to reach certain heights without having any guarantee that this will happen. By giving false hopes and promises, you only temporarily support your image. If the relationship is long-term, then the partner will still find out that your goals are too far from real possibilities, and will stop trusting your promises.

The emergence of doubts about each other is possible not only for the reasons listed above - each couple is individual and the moment that is not paid attention to in one couple will cause a number of problems in another. Regain your loved one's trust much more difficult than losing, regardless of the reason why it happened. Some relationships are initially built without trust, which most often occurs due to the psychological characteristics of the partners and their inability to trust others.

The main problem with mistrust is that it can lead to the final separation of people even if they still love each other. It is unpleasant for any of us to feel constant doubt in our words and actions; this makes us feel guilt, which gradually turns into irritation and hostility towards a person or into imaginary submission and agreement with a partner. However, a long and strong alliance cannot be built on such a foundation; there is still a need to restore trust in the relationship.

Some people give up, get offended and choose to end the relationship. Of course, this is much easier than looking for ways and options to regain the trust of your loved one, given that this is not always feasible. But it’s still worth fighting for love, if only so that later you know that you did everything you could.

WHAT TO DO TO RESTAIN THE TRUST OF YOUR LOVED PERSON

Build a line of action in order to to regain a person's trust, is necessary depending on what caused the loss of trust. The main thing is, do not lie under any circumstances - tell everything honestly and truthfully, do not try to hide information or embellish the situation. The more honestly you describe the current circumstances, the greater the chances of regaining the trust of your loved one. Be prepared for your partner to check your words and look for evidence and confirmation.

If your partner's trust has been shaken due to deception, you should analyze whether you are ready to completely eliminate lies, omissions and secrets in the future.

Please note that people tend to deceive others, even in the most insignificant matters, this is our nature. It follows from this that at the subconscious level a person is ready to forgive deception that does not cause him any trauma, since he understands that he himself is capable of a similar act. However, forgiveness is only possible with complete openness and 100% honesty on the part of the one who broke the trust. In such a situation, even if the deception is minor or unconscious, it can put an end to the relationship, so you need to constantly monitor yourself.

If mistrust arose as a result of false promises you made, try not to guarantee in the future something that you are not completely sure will be realized. For example, if you would like to go on vacation with your significant other, but you are not sure that you will be able to take a day off from work, it is better to remain silent about your plans. And then present it as a surprise if there is still an opportunity to rest. At the same time, if things don’t work out at work, you won’t disappoint your partner, since he won’t know about your plans. If you have already made a promise, but it is not possible to fulfill it due to force majeure circumstances, there is no need to lie and come up with excuses - tell me straight out why you cannot fulfill what you promised. A loving person will always try to take your place and understand you, and if this does not happen, then perhaps you should think about the presence of love in your union.

If your chosen one turns out to be jealous, then the relationship will always be difficult. Jealous people, as a rule, do not even need reasons to create a scandal or reproach them for wrong behavior. It is almost impossible to regain the trust of a loved one who is very jealous, primarily because such people, in principle, are not able to trust the opposite sex. A man will see flirting even in the simple communication of his wife on the phone with a male colleague, and a woman, seeing that her chosen one is smiling and talking nicely when meeting a girl she knows, will be ready to start a scandal. If you fall in love with a jealous person, be prepared for the fact that you will need to inform him of all your movements, plans and meetings, you will have to limit communication with the opposite sex and appear at all events with your partner. A jealous person needs to be constantly reminded that he is loved, so do not limit the expression of your feelings and emotions - this will also help maintain harmony in the couple.

The hardest thing regain trust after betrayal, after all, having changed, we exchanged the one who was nearby for a completely stranger. If deception, false promises and jealousy only break the thin line of trust, then betrayal completely destroys it. It should be remembered that it is always worth trying to restore trust after betrayal, but there is a certain type of people who, despite their love and reluctance to part, will not be able to forgive such a betrayal.

HOW TO RESTAIN THE TRUST OF YOUR LOVED PERSON AFTER CHEATING

When feelings just begin, and then grow stronger and develop into true love, it seems that there will be no other way, and this is how you will go through the rest of your life, hand in hand. But, unfortunately, none of us can know what will happen tomorrow or in a week, a year. Sometimes situations arise that turn our entire previous perception of reality upside down, and then we tend to make mistakes and get confused - after all, we were not prepared for this. It is in such cases that a person tends to give in to his desires and weaknesses, a craving for extreme sports and adrenaline arises, he wants to radically change his life, and the established way of life looks boring and monotonous. Such a moral attitude often leads to betrayal, which a person almost always later regrets. However, not every partner is able to understand, forgive and continue the relationship after learning about their partner’s betrayal; many become enraged, succumb to emotions, and, at the same time feeling pain and fear of loss, still take the decisive step and end the relationship with the traitor.

Regain your loved one's trust, if you cheated on him it is always very difficult. Women experience betrayal a little easier, because at the subconscious level, the woman accepts the idea that the man will go on the side. She is psychologically prepared for this and each, depending on her character, has developed a different line of behavior in such a situation. There are women who have decided for themselves to never forgive infidelity and immediately put an end to the relationship, if it occurs. However, most women are still inclined to forgive betrayal, but on the condition that they really feel their partner’s remorse. Of course, you won’t be able to receive forgiveness right away, there will be resentment, a feeling of pain and a feeling that you have been betrayed, but if a man behaves correctly in the current situation and tries in every possible way to regain the trust of his loved one, he has a great chance of reconciliation.

With men in such a situation it is much more difficult, because by his nature he is an owner and does not even allow the thought that his chosen one can exchange him for another man. Cheating on a woman not only angers, upsets and insults the dignity of the partner, but also makes him doubt his worth and masculinity. The first thing that comes to a man’s mind is that since the woman acquired another partner, it means that he himself was not sufficiently satisfactory for her. This will be a blow to your self-esteem and self-confidence. The next thing that makes you furious is that a stranger has taken what is his property, so men always try to deal with their rivals. For the most part, this happens not so much because of the woman, but because someone has encroached on what belongs only to him, the only man, thereby showing disrespect for his person.

If you want to regain the trust of your loved one and resurrect his feelings for you after betrayal, you will have to work hard. First, remember, if a man really loved you, then this feeling could not disappear in a few days. Now he is suppressed by negative emotions, anger and offended pride, but deep down in his soul the man still has feelings for you, the main thing is to correctly and tactfully lead him to this thought and remind him of it. Here the situation depends one hundred percent on the woman - whether she can behave correctly, say the right words at the right time or respond with the right action. There are a number of mistakes that a woman can make lose your chosen one forever in such situation. Let's look at these errors.

1. After you have been caught cheating, you should not wring your hands, fall to your knees and bang your head on the floor - such scenes only act as irritants on a man. A woman should always remain beautiful, worthy and proud, and the one who crawls on the floor, begging for forgiveness, only causes disgust in men. Even if you cry heartily and talk about how you can’t live without your chosen one, he will most likely perceive this as a manifestation of duplicity and acting abilities. No matter how bad you feel, maintain your dignity and do not humiliate yourself, such behavior always earns respect from men, since they respect strength in principle.

2. Women are very emotional by nature, and often when emotions are overwhelming and they have no arguments to defend themselves, the principle begins to operate: “ The best defense is offense" In this case, a woman can say a lot of unnecessary things and blame the man for her betrayal, which in turn is unacceptable for a partner who is already on edge, feels betrayed and insulted. The woman begins to accuse the man of not paying enough attention to her, not being interested in her life, not perceiving her as a woman, and much more, thus trying to justify her action. However, do not forget that with such statements you will only achieve an even greater scandal and ultimately lose the opportunity to regain the trust of your loved one.

3. No matter how much your partner asks you to describe your betrayal in detail, do not give in to provocation. First, imagine yourself in his place - would you be pleased to listen to the details of your companion’s betrayal? If you tell in all the nuances how you cheated on your man, in the future he will constantly play these scenes in front of his eyes, which is why he will be in a state of aggression, rage and resentment. Of course, you cannot avoid talking about this event, but try to tell it in a nutshell and steer the conversation away from the topic of details. If your loved one, when he sees you, immediately imagines how you are cheating on him, then your relationship cannot have a future. Try to present the information as uninterestingly and grayly as possible, so that it does not remain in the man’s memory; let him only remember that there was such a precedent, but nothing more.

4. Never involve strangers in solving your problems; as they say, don’t wash your dirty laundry in public. If you complain to your entire family about how much you regret your mistake and how difficult it is for you without your loved one, then everyone will immediately begin to persuade the man to forgive you, give him advice and bring stories from life. Under such pressure, a man is more likely to simply run away, but will not succumb to persuasion, if only because he is used to making decisions himself, especially in his personal life. Another unacceptable option is to tell your friends about everything and ask for advice or help. Don’t forget how many cases history knows when it was a friend who was to blame for quarrels and breakups. In addition, even wishing you well, a stranger can greatly complicate the situation, because he does not know the characteristics of your man’s character and the nuances of the situation. And, of course, it will be unpleasant for your man if people whisper behind his back and gossip about your personal problems circulates among all your mutual acquaintances. Such an environment will only reduce the chance of regaining the trust of your loved one and restoring harmony in the relationship.

5. A common mistake is to tie a man with children, if any. If your husband has already decided that he cannot forgive you for cheating and wants to break off the relationship, do not try to stop him with the phrase: “Stay for the sake of the children.” Even if he doesn't leave, it won't be the same relationship as before. Firstly, the man will believe that you are blackmailing him, and in the future he may hate you for it. Secondly, he will stay for the sake of the children, and not for the sake of you, therefore, he has the right to his personal life and relationships with other women. Think about it, do you need such a family?

If you want to regain your loved one's trust and previous feelings after cheating on him, you should choose a wait-and-see attitude. Repeat to the man that the betrayal was a mistake, that we are all human and are capable of succumbing to weakness and losing control of the situation, that you regret what happened and do not experience anything else. As they say, water wears away stones; over time, emotions will subside and reason and logic will emerge. A person will think that the past cannot be changed, but what is done is done and he has two options for solving the problem - leave or stay.

You, in turn, try not to constantly accuse yourself of cheating, and also come to terms with the fact that the past cannot be brought back. You made a mistake, apologized and repented, and then live as before and wait until your man makes his final decision.

In conclusion, it must be emphasized that confidence is the most fragile component of a relationship, so instead of wondering how to regain the trust of your loved one, it is better to think about how not to lose it in the first place.

“You betrayed my trust,” the phrase is similar to a quote from a novel, but how often these banal words break girls’ hearts and put an end to relationships.

A girl who made a mistake suffers from feelings of guilt and toils in search of answers to the question: “How to regain a guy’s trust after a breakup?”

If you betrayed a loved one, but repent of it and want to resume the relationship, be prepared for the fact that this will take a lot of time. Be consistent and patient and then everything will work out.

• Stop;
• Close your eyes;
• Take a deep breath;
• Exhale slowly;
• Think: why do you want to return everything?

Is it love or guilt that pushes you to reconcile with your boyfriend? They say we only value what we lose. But it also happens that this saying works against us.

Don't fool yourself!

The sentimental female soul, oppressed by remorse, begins to idealize the guy and attribute to him qualities that he never had. Try to calm the emotional storm and think rationally.

Sort out all the pros and cons of your relationship without deceiving yourself. And if even after such a detailed analysis you understand that the guy is still dear to you and you need it, proceed to the “Return of your Beloved” plan.

Regain a guy's trust after a lie: a step-by-step plan

First place in the ranking of reasons for couples to break up is deception.

Lying is an attempt to hide some information from a loved one.

Whether you did it for the greater good or out of fear of losing love, the fact remains that you lied.

Didn't your mother warn you as a child that everything secret becomes clear? You want to go back and never commit this terrible act, but it’s too late. Do not despair. You can regain a guy's trust in yourself, although this process will require patience and endurance from you.

1. Your first step: leave him alone. Immediately after a conflict and a showdown, emotions run high, both for him and for you. In such an atmosphere, it is very difficult to convey your point of view to a person and explain the reasons for your misconduct. Go into another room, catch your breath, drink water. You can wash your face and do a couple of breathing exercises.
2. Second step: Put yourself in his place. Yes, this advice is very simple, but try to imagine that it was your loved one who deceived and betrayed you. Don't be shy, imagine it in colors. Would you be able to immediately forgive him and still trust him? Be honest with yourself. Think about what words and actions of the guy in the future would help you restore trust in the relationship and act accordingly.
3. Third step: When things calm down, calmly admit your mistake. Don't be too cold-blooded and arrogant, show that you regret what you did and sincerely repent. But don't go too far. Leave the scenes of hand-wringing and lamentation for cheap melodramas. Maintain your self-esteem and never humiliate yourself. You should talk like adults: calmly and to the point. You don't need to remember all his mistakes to justify your own. First of all, admit the guilt to yourself.
4. Forget what he told you emotionally and listen carefully to what he tells you now. Perhaps these words will be the key to how you should behave in order to regain his trust.
5. Get ready for a break in a relationship. Understand that if he truly loves you, your lies have caused him real pain. It takes time to forget about it and trust again. If he suggests taking a break, don't resist or pursue him with "random" meetings and endless calls. Try to disappear from his life for a while.
6. Have patience. Lots and lots of patience. Wait for his call. The one who loves will definitely forgive and return.
7. There won't be a chance. When given a second chance, remember that there will be no third. Be extremely careful and attentive in your words and actions. Cherish your relationships.
8. Trust. Don't show distrust towards the guy. You should not hack his pages on social networks, read his SMS and check his pockets. Don't be annoying. Down with calls every half hour with the stupid question “Where are you?”

By following this plan, you will be able to win back your love and become the best for your guy again.

On a note!
Some psychologists believe that it is easier to regain trust in psychologically and financially independent people.
If you depend on your boyfriend financially, he may think that you are speaking to him insincerely, you are simply afraid of being left without support.
The man also has a fear that he will be deceived again.

I cheated on my boyfriend, how to regain trust and is it possible?

Cheating is the most vile betrayal of all that a loved one can commit.

By cheating, you let the guy know that you have found someone better than him, thereby lowering his self-esteem through the roof.

A person who has been cheated on may experience shock and anger and find it difficult to accept what happened.

What to do - I cheated on my boyfriend, how to regain trust?

1. Don't get caught in the middle. A person who finds out about betrayal is capable of terrible things in a state of passion. Disappear. Let him accept this situation and make his own decision about what to do next.
2. After waiting your time, try to talk frankly. Explain the reasons for your action. Whether it was an innocent flirtation, a kiss, or real betrayal, it doesn’t matter. He must understand why this happened, otherwise, even if you restore the relationship, conflicts cannot be avoided.
3. Don't rush things. Give him enough time and freedom so that he can decide for himself whether he can be with you and trust you.
4. Don't throw tantrums. Don't fall to your knees and beg him to stay. Don't blackmail him with possible suicide or an imaginary pregnancy. Maybe he will take pity on you and stay, but do you need this pity? And cheating on your pregnancy will certainly break your relationship forever.
5. Forgive yourself. It is very important. Even if you can’t regain the guy’s trust after cheating, you must let go of this situation. Talk to a close friend or a psychologist, give yourself the opportunity to cry. Accept the fact that what has been done cannot be undone. Move on with your life and take away valuable experience from this situation.
6. If you're back together, appreciate your loved one.. Never give him a reason to even think that you might betray him again. Trust him yourself and do not remember this incident.

It doesn’t matter what exactly prompted you to cheat, and you shouldn’t talk about how bad it is. If you still care about your boyfriend, try following these tips to get him back.

After the breakup

You tried everything you could, but you still couldn’t get your loved one back.

Grief overwhelms you and you don’t know how to move on?

Even though it’s hard for you to believe it now, know that everything will be fine.

Sooner or later you will forget him and find new love, but in the meantime, try the following tips.

• Don't isolate yourself in my solitude and in my apartment. Go to a friend and have a heart-to-heart talk. Try to cry, often after this it really becomes easier. Getting over a breakup will be easier if you are not alone.
• Pamper yourself. For example, sweet. But there is no need to eat up your stress with kilograms of cakes and sweets. You risk turning into a fat, depressed woman. According to the law of meanness, this is exactly how your ex will meet you. And he will be glad that you broke up.
• Remember your mistakes. And never step on the same rake again. Do not lie, do not betray the trust of your loved one and do not cheat.
• Change your life. Update your wardrobe, change your hair and makeup, if possible, change your home. In the old place, you will constantly remember the moments associated with your love, looking at the dress, remember that you were wearing it when the guy kissed you for the first time. This will inevitably plunge you into a new abyss of sadness. Leave the guy and everything that reminds you of him in the past.
• Take care of yourself. Sign up for a fitness or aerobics class. In addition to the fact that your body will become slim and attractive, you will spend your evenings not in front of the TV, but in the gym. By the way, there is a good chance of meeting a new boyfriend there.
• Take your time make new acquaintances. Believe me, such a relationship will not bring you satisfaction, but will only open up barely healed wounds.

If your relationship is on the rocks because you deceived your guy or cheated on him, how can you regain trust in your relationship with your guy? Don't forget that everything is still possible.

Everything passes and this will pass!

You will need all your endurance and willpower, a lot of patience and time, which, as we know, heals. But don’t forget that your loved one has the right to say goodbye to you.

Understand that life does not end when your loved one passes away. Yes, now you are hurt and offended, you blame only yourself for everything and think that you do not deserve happiness, but this is not so. Very soon the pain will pass, and you will definitely meet new love.

You can find additional information on this topic in the section.

It is very difficult to make a person who has been deceived by you believe you. How to regain the trust of a guy who has repeatedly caught you in lies, especially if he is a supporter of open and honest relationships? How to regain your husband's trust if the family boat is wrecked due to a woman's infidelity? It’s not for nothing that they say that “the sword does not cut off a guilty head,” and many women are ready, having confessed, to return everything back.

If we consider that after a lie, men, for the most part, do not even want to look in the direction of the woman who betrayed them, a reasonable answer suggests itself - there is no point in trying. However, the hope of restoring the relationship makes women think again and again about how to regain the trust of their loved one.

Pitfalls of possible reconciliation

A man who has lost confidence in his wife or girlfriend, first of all, suffers greatly from his self-esteem. Not every member of the stronger sex can withstand this powerful blow. Constantly seeing before your eyes the one who chose another man over him or who shamelessly deceived him for a long time is very difficult.

Constantly tormented by doubts: “Why am I worse?”, “What did she find in him?”, “How was it all with them, the same as with me, or differently?”, “She probably thinks I’m a fool.” , capable of swallowing any lie! When hugging and kissing the offender, men involuntarily imagine how the other one did it. Listening to compliments addressed to him from a girl, the guy thinks: “She probably said the same words to him!”

Would you like your every move to be checked and monitored, so that the contents of your phone and correspondence on social networks are subject to severe censorship? How do you like repeated questions: “Well, tell me how everything was with you, I will forget and forgive everything!”

Don’t flatter yourself, he won’t forget and won’t forgive, at least in the next few years. Girls who are contemplating after lies and betrayal should think carefully about whether they need such reconciliation.

A textbook version of adultery - Tatyana, the wife of a long-distance sailor, a young and beautiful woman, could not stand even the first separation from her husband. Her temperament threw her, as they say in cheap novels, into the arms of a man he accidentally met while visiting a friend. The affair dragged on; I didn’t even want to think about my husband’s return from the flight. The little son wandered around with compassionate neighbors; only the lazy did not point a finger at her.

The navigator's career ended as soon as it began; the husband quit and found a land profession. He did not leave his wife, it was a pity to part with his son, and he loved her in his own way, but his friends no longer appeared in their house. And Tatyana turned from a buttery little thing, shining with a thirst for life, into a woman with a haunted look. She had nowhere to go, in a big foreign city she did not have a single soulmate, all her relatives lived in a province far away.

She was not faced with the question of how to win her husband’s trust. This could not be done even after twenty years. The son, for whose sake the semblance of a family was preserved, grew up, and two strangers, out of habit, continued to live together. In order not to completely ruin your life, when deciding how to earn the trust of the man you love, you need to weigh the pros and cons many times.

If you continue to love him, you are no longer going to sincerely lie to him, but you consider a casual relationship a mistake - fight for your happiness!

Lies and broken promises

How to regain the trust of your loved one if you constantly lie to him? There are girls who, as they say, “if you tell a lie, they’ll take it cheaply,” and for whom outright lies cannot stay on their tongues. They do this for various reasons, this is a topic for a separate conversation, but the essence of male logic in a relationship with such a girl is something like this: “If she deceives me in small things, then she cannot be trusted at all.”

The young man will involuntarily begin to look for evidence confirming his assumptions, adjust the most harmless phrases and actions to fit his “theory,” and then present them as irrefutable proof of the girl’s guilt. After several months of such pressure, it’s not far from a nervous breakdown.

Natural advice in such circumstances is that you should not deceive anyone even in small things, so that you do not have to solve the problem of how to gain trust. Lena (one of our heroines) thought the same thing when she decided to start a new life based only on the truth. She told Maxim absolutely everything after there was a break in their romantic relationship. A harmless lie about how much new shoes cost turned into a reason to break up with a “pathological liar.”

This is exactly how Maxim described her, listing even those offenses that she forgot to even think about. Concerned about how to restore trust, Lena tried her best to make her words seem more believable, but it only turned out worse. The picky Maxim tediously listed her phrases that aroused his suspicion, until the girl suddenly realized that she would have to listen to this for the rest of her days.

That's where it all ended - it turned out that everything was just an excuse for ending an outdated relationship. No wonder they say: “If he loves, he will forgive.” As for unfulfilled promises, it is still better not to bind yourself to any oaths and vows if you do not feel the strength to fulfill them. And if you happen to fail to keep a promise, be sincere, take the time and explain the reason for this situation.

Sincerity captivates almost any person, and even more so the man who loves you. He will definitely understand and forgive if he loves, of course, and he won’t have to worry about how to regain trust in the relationship.

"The monster with green eyes..."

This is exactly how the famous poet described jealousy. How to win the trust of a jealous person? You will not win him, even if you follow this person, being fastened to him with iron chains. There will always be something to reproach you with, something to reproach you with. We are talking about pathological jealousy, which is the job of a psychotherapist to treat.

Even if its cause is childhood psychological trauma, or a previous damaged relationship with another woman, will this make you feel better? There is no need to make excuses and remember the proverb: “He is jealous, which means he loves.” He loves, but first of all he wants to protect his beloved from the worries and torments of jealousy.

You will receive continuous reports about where you were and why you didn’t immediately pick up the phone. Not everyone can live with such an Othello, only if love for such a person borders on self-sacrifice.

Life after betrayal

How to earn trust after something irreparable has happened and you have been unfaithful to your partner? Life before betrayal is not like life after it, and it will never be the same - easy and full of bright prospects. But no one is forbidden to hope for happiness, but achieving it should not be done at any cost.

A few steps to get closer after cheating:

1. Admit your mistake and apologize. There is no need for unnecessary words and florid speech patterns. You're sorry, that's all.
2. Give your partner enough time to sort out your feelings. Not everyone is able to forgive, not everyone can return after betrayal even to a very beloved woman. If you need this man, be patient.
3. After some time, remind them of yourself by phone or on a social network, and offer to talk. If you heard a decisive refusal - well, “you won’t be nice by force.”
4. If you get a chance for forgiveness, take into account previous mistakes, value your partner’s generosity and do not hope that such an opportunity will be provided to you all the time.

It is no good to blackmail with pregnancy, suicide attempts, throw hysterics and beg on your knees for forgiveness. Maintain your self-esteem and try to gain valuable experience in this situation. And remember that time is the best medicine.

Recently I was asked how to regain the trust of a loved one. I was about to answer... and thought about it.

The very formulation of the question is questionable. Trust is not something that is given, taken or returned. This is the property of contact between two people, and it is born in the process of communication. If a person trusts a stranger from the very beginning, then there is something wrong with the way he interacts with the environment.

The new and unknown carries a threat, and it is reasonable to take a closer look first. Trust can be issued “on credit”, but in such cases they usually risk something that they are not afraid to lose.

A common context for conversations about lost trust is relationships between friends and lovers. In such relationships there are a number of unspoken agreements: to be faithful, to keep your word, not to harm a friend or loved one. But, in addition to universal principles, unspoken requirements can be unique - and very peculiar.

One girl, speaking of her boyfriend's "betrayal of trust," pointed out that he danced with someone else as an example of betrayal. But no one told him that he signed an agreement “to dance only with his girlfriend.” There are many such cases, so it makes sense to clarify: does the partner know about the expectations that he is required to meet?

But let's focus on the most common cases: betrayal, lies, failure to keep promises. How to regain his trust if we are talking about a mistake, and not a consistent break in the relationship?

Forgiveness does not fix the situation. It does not undo the pain caused and does not restore trust.

The wrong way is to try to achieve forgiveness. In this scenario there are two roles: the criminal and the judge, also known as the prosecutor. The criminal has already been convicted and can only bribe the judge to reduce or cancel the sentence. Likewise, a partner who “atones for guilt” is essentially trying to bribe the other. In this situation, there is a lot of latent anger on the part of the guilty and open anger on the part of the one from whom they are trying to achieve forgiveness.

But forgiveness does not improve the situation. It does not undo the pain caused or restore trust. Nor will it be possible to “earn trust again.” Here again there are two unbalanced roles: the applicant for mercy and the one who condescendingly evaluates his efforts. “You’re not trying hard enough!” - an advantageous position that allows you to squeeze as much as possible out of the current situation.

Trust cannot be restored if only one is involved and the other is in the role of judge or enthroned ruler. On the part of the “deceived” there is a wave of sadistic aggression, a desire to trample the one who stumbled. On the part of the “traitor” there is anger, growing as attempts to regain trust fail one after another.

In this situation, forgiveness or “newly earned trust” is a fiction, and it becomes obvious when the offender is reminded of his past sins, knowing exactly where his pain point is. The feeling of one’s own “innocence” and the “sinfulness” of another destroys any relationship and nullifies any dialogue.

Restoring trust is a mutual process. If both partners are committed to doing this, then it is possible. Not “how to regain your trust,” but “what should we do with our relationships in which it has been lost.” And what is important here is the quality that arises only with mutual movement towards each other: sincerity.

Genuine contact, manifested in dialogue, in the willingness to change one’s point of view, has healing power.

It is possible to sincerely talk about your pain from causing suffering to a loved one only when the opposite person is not a judge or a ruler, but an equally suffering person. Openness to someone else's experience allows you to feel their sincerity, and avoiding the conversation into accusations or self-flagellation blocks sensitivity.

Trust cannot be earned, it can only be born again: through the contact of two open, naked consciousnesses, when you feel - there is no subtext, there is no second bottom behind this experience. This can only be felt with the heart, but you can “forgive” as much as you like with your head.

What's next? Talk about your relationships, about explicit and implicit agreements in them, about what can be changed. Contact between two people has healing power - genuine contact, manifested in dialogue, in the willingness to change your point of view, and not to convince your interlocutor or force him to do what you want.