Why does a child cry when he wants to sleep? Why does a child cry and how to calm him down?

Crying is the only way for a newborn to communicate with its parents. With its help, the baby communicates that he is hungry, craves attention and affection, that something is bothering him, or that it is time to change the diaper. However, sometimes crying accompanies some regularly repeated action, for example, what if a baby cries before peeing? Is this an alarming signal and a reason to visit a doctor, or can you identify the problem at home and deal with it yourself?

There are many reasons why babies cry before urinating. Let's look at them and determine what needs to be done in each specific case.

Pain and inflammation

First of all, it is desirable to exclude the presence of an inflammatory process in the genital area.

Inflammation is indicated by signs such as:

change in the color and smell of urine - it takes on a dark shade, sometimes there are blood impurities;
urinary retention - a condition when a child wants to pee, but due to pain tries to hold back the discharge, resulting in very little urine output;
lower abdominal pain;
increase in body temperature to 39 ºC.

Similar symptoms are characteristic of cystitis and pyelonephritis. If they were noticed in an infant, you should consult a pediatrician or urologist. Treatment is selected by the doctor in accordance with the severity of the disease and the age of the baby.

"Girl" problems

If we are talking about a girl, you may have to consult a pediatric gynecologist in order to exclude or confirm purely female diseases: vulvovaginitis and synechiae.

Vulvovaginitis is an inflammation of the vulva (female external genitalia) and vagina (vagina) of an infectious nature. Under certain circumstances, the disease can be caused by an allergic reaction. Vulvovaginitis is accompanied by pain during urination, burning sensation, itching, and mucous discharge. Treatment is carried out under the guidance of a doctor.

Synechia is the name given to the fusion of the labia minora in girls. The mechanism of their occurrence is not completely clear. However, doctors believe that most likely the reason lies in insufficient estrogen levels in girls in the first years of life.

In most cases, synechiae are not accompanied by any uncomfortable symptoms and are discovered by chance during an examination by a pediatric gynecologist.

They are visible to the naked eye: after carefully spreading the labia majora, it is noticeable that the labia minora seem to be glued together with a thin transparent film, sometimes gray. If there are no disturbing symptoms, the child is simply observed. But with extensive adhesion, the outflow of urine is hampered and infection is possible, so the gynecologist can recommend 2 methods of treatment: lubricating the problem area with estrogen-containing ointment for 2 weeks or surgical excision followed by the use of estrogen-containing ointment.

A purely male question

Boys also have their own “diseases” associated with the structural features of the genital organs, for example, phimosis.

Phimosis is a condition in which the head of the penis is not fully or partially exposed due to narrowing of the foreskin and its sticking together.

In the vast majority of cases, when we talk about phimosis, we mean physiological phimosis, which does not cause any pain and does not require treatment. It goes away on its own on average by the age of 6-7 years, for some earlier, for others later.

Pathological phimosis, which develops as a result of trauma to the penis or cicatricial narrowing of the foreskin, is dangerous.

Improper hygiene of the genital organs allows dirt particles to get inside between the foreskin and the head. It can accumulate and become inflamed, and then it is not difficult to answer the question of why a newborn cries when he needs to go to the toilet. Balanoposthitis develops, which mothers often write about on forums. But it needs to be treated by a pediatric surgeon.

We conclude: hearing the words “synechia” or “phimosis” in the doctor’s office alone does not mean that an infant has health problems. These conditions are completely physiological. But poor or improper genital hygiene can aggravate the situation and lead to inflammation and discomfort.

Anomalies in the structure of the genitourinary system

If an infant pees while crying and it is not possible to understand the reason, it is necessary to exclude the presence of abnormal structures, for example:

vesicoureteral reflux - characterized by the backflow of urine into the kidney and causes back pain during urination, causing the baby to cry;
kidney stones or a foreign body in the urethra - the disease is accompanied by severe pain in the back and abdomen when urinating.

Discomfort in all forms

Prolonged stay in a wet and dirty diaper leads to the formation of diaper rash and dermatitis in the groin area. Naturally, inflamed skin with microcracks will hurt the next time you urinate. Therefore, the child cries every time he pees. There is only one way out - change your attitude towards baby hygiene and treat existing diaper rash.

A tight diaper can also cause crying. When trying to urinate, the baby’s penis tenses up and increases in size, but if the diaper is already full enough and, moreover, too tight in size, this will most likely cause discomfort.

Timely cleansing of the baby's skin after bowel movements is extremely important to keep him dry and comfortable, as well as to prevent the development of infections.

It happens that children cry when they want to pee at night. In most cases, this is a purely psychological moment associated with fear, the desire to sleep, and so on. If the child whines only at night, and not every time, there is no need to worry.

Hygiene - prevention of many problems

We have found that almost always the reason for a child’s crying before urinating lies in improper hygienic care of the genitals.

Therefore, let us recall the basic rules that every parent should know:

change diapers in a timely manner; newborns can use up to 10 diapers per day, and it is better not to skimp on them;
Wash your baby several times during the day under running water if he poops; Let us remind you that girls are washed in the front-to-back direction;
do not overuse detergents: boys’ evening baths involve external washing of the genitals; using liquid soap twice a week is sufficient;
to prevent diaper rash when changing a diaper, let the baby lie for 5-10 minutes without it; when putting on a new diaper, the skin should be clean and dry;
wet wipes should not contain alcohol, give preference to hypoallergenic ones specially designed for babies;
if necessary, change the diaper size to a larger one;
In case of allergic redness in the groin, try changing the diaper manufacturer.

So, there are several reasons why a child may cry when he wants to write. Some of them are more serious and require urgent medical attention, while others can be resolved at home. The main thing is to love your baby. Then you will be able to notice the problem in time and, possibly, quickly fix it.

From birth, the main method that a child uses to achieve what he wants is crying. While the baby is very small, he talks to adults precisely through crying, so he can talk about his discomfort, hunger, cold and much more.

There are many types of crying, which are distinguished mainly by mothers. Crying a lot for children can only be harmful. But how to react to a child’s tears at different ages? Why do children act up more often? We will examine this issue in more detail below.

Causes of tears in a one-month-old baby

In reality, newborn babies may cry quite a lot and often for a variety of reasons. Most often, young children cry when:

feel hungry;
suffer from colic;
feel too much heat or cold.

The most important reason for crying is still the feeling of hunger. Today, many young mothers feed their children internally. In fact, this is good for the functioning of the digestive system, but the fact is that the baby’s stomach is tiny and it consumes little. Often the child simply does not have enough milk, which he has eaten, in order to wait for the next meal.

If a child wakes up and cries, and the mother understands perfectly well that the real reason for this is hunger, then sometimes it is better to deviate from the principles and feed the child, thereby changing the feeding time. Very often in the maternity hospital they advise feeding on demand. This method is convenient for the child, but not for the mother, since the baby will “hang” on the chest for the entire 24 hours.

Another common cause is colic. In infants, the digestive system is just beginning to adapt to a new life outside the womb. Stomach pain can occur in children up to 3 months, and sometimes up to six months.

Types of baby crying

Children's tantrums arise for various reasons, and crying itself can also be learned to be distinguished. Let's look at some crying options and features:

The cry of a hungry child. A demanding tone often occurs in newborns. Intermittent screams, separated by some pauses (at this moment the baby is waiting for the reaction of adults). The approximate period for the onset of disturbance begins 2 hours after eating; the feeding process calms the child.
When it gets wet. A rare type of cry; not all children give such a signal. Has a pitiful tone.
Overtired crying. It is more common in children from 3 months and begins in the evening. When a child wants to sleep, he begins to scream offendedly.
Painful crying. Doctors clearly know when babies scream in pain. In most cases this occurs from intracranial pressure. The child screams for no apparent reason, for quite a long time and monotonously. May be accompanied by insomnia. The intonation is irritable.
Crying from intestinal colic. It is more often observed in infants up to six months. The child clenches his fists and his face may turn red. Kinks his legs, often burps and there is bloating. The baby feels better when held upright. The child is unable to calm down on his own; the crying continues for a long time.

How to help your baby?

When a baby is bothered by colic, his cry is not the same as when asking for food. If a month-old baby cries, twists his legs, presses them to his stomach, and it is literally difficult to calm him down, then colic is to blame. The following methods can help your child:

Before feeding, place the baby on his stomach.
Drink some dill water.
Use medications for colic.
Pat your belly, do a massage.
At the moment of crying, hold the child belly to belly and sing or talk soothingly. In some cases, you can put a heated warm blanket or other cloth.

Climatic conditions are also often to blame for baby crying. Excessive heat or cold is not only a serious provocateur, but also a cause of disease. All children are individual, but it is necessary to achieve optimal conditions in the apartment and outside in order to prevent overheating or hypothermia of the body.

Reasons for crying after waking up

After sleep, a child may cry for the following reasons:

uncomfortable posture during sleep when part of the body becomes numb;
teething;
sharp bright light or loud sounds;
insufficient humidity in the room;
neuralgia;
difficulty urinating;
constipation;
dermatitis that itches;
child's illness.

When a child cries for a month and does not get enough sleep, you need to consult a pediatrician for advice to rule out serious illnesses. After your doctor's examination, you will most likely receive a referral to be examined by a neurologist and cardiologist. Children's tearfulness usually persists up to 3 years. And this is natural.

Crying myself to sleep

When children cry, it negatively affects both their psychological and physiological state. For normal growth and development, the baby needs sound and restful sleep. Then during the day there will be a lot of energy for games.

Psychologists believe that if the problem is not due to physiological needs or the presence of diseases, then tears before sleep arise on a psychological background. When a child cries before going to bed, this is how he expresses his indignation. This may be a protest against the sleep schedule set by the mother, or perhaps a lack of attention or a banal reluctance to part with the mother.

In most cases, if the mother sits next to her, the child falls asleep faster, he is calmer this way. When something bothers your baby, he may cry and moan during sleep, which leads to poor quality rest.

Whims after waking up

A child wakes up with a smile on his face - this is happiness. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. The reason why a child cries after sleep is a strong desire to satisfy his needs. Instinct kicks in and the baby starts screaming, but loving parents are unable to ignore this behavior.

Hysterical screams at night every hour is a physiological problem. Most likely, the child is sick with something and needs the help of a specialist. The health of the child is most important, and the parents themselves cannot stand it for a long time without proper sleep. For infants, the time of day does not matter, since they can require the attention of their parents at any time of the day or night.

But if the baby can be distracted from crying by rattles or playing with his parents, then there is no need to worry. This means that there are no serious violations.

Crying children over one year old

Not only infants show tantrums, but also older children sometimes begin to cry for no apparent reason. When the cause is established, it turns out that there is no pain anywhere, there is no desire for anything, but a roar has appeared.

At night, a one-year-old child wakes up and cries because of a nightmare he saw in a dream. Even a banal fear of the dark can provoke such a reaction. Children's anxieties and fears cannot be ignored. By ignoring problems, you can subsequently develop an emotionally unstable, nervous personality.

Causes of tears over 1.5 years

Children tend to cry not only at night. This behavior can be noticed after a long stay on the street or after matinees. The causes of depression are:

Oversaturation of the psyche with impressions, emotional reaction to the past day.
Feeling of discomfort, fatigue.
Unjustified expectations. A quick end to a long-awaited event.
When something didn’t work out for the child.

When your crying 2-year-old child shows his dissatisfaction very often, sometimes you just need to give him the opportunity to speak out and cry. To do this, parents need to be patient and understanding. The child's psyche at this age is unstable and the child needs the help of adults to survive difficult moments.

Difficulties with sleep after 2 years are often psychological in nature. Observe the child and analyze the situation; he may need the help of specialists.

4 reasons for poor sleep

Stress. What can provoke a child’s unstable condition? Often the cause is kindergarten. The nighttime cries of a kindergarten baby indicate adaptation to a new place. In addition, there is an oversaturation of emotions due to new acquaintances, a large number of new toys, severe overexcitation or overwork. This is considered normal, since the child must get used to the regime and rules, which requires an individual amount of time.
Graft. It has a great influence not only on sleep, but also on the baby’s condition as a whole. It takes some time for the body to produce antibodies.
Attention deficit. Mom is nearby, but is often busy with other things: cleaning the house, telephone, cooking, time when there are no games together. And if the mother goes to work, this is a stressful situation for the baby. Even here, the child will need some time to get used to the absence of his mother. Children cry when they don't get enough attention. Try to devote your free time to your child as often as possible. The more often parents are absent, the more hugs and kisses the child needs for full development.
Fear of separation. The crisis of 2 years is often associated with separation from the mother. The fear of growing up and independence sometimes frightens children. Hence the child needs tactile communication with his mother and her affection. This way the crisis period is not so painful. Confidence and security appear.

Sudden change of sleep place

It often happens that a child falls asleep in one place and wakes up in another. He wakes up crying, because everything that surrounded him before sleep has changed dramatically. Let's imagine this: you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in the kitchen. Creepy? This is where childhood fear comes from, since the baby finds himself in a situation that is incomprehensible to him.

When a child does not sleep well, the parents' task is to teach the baby to fall asleep in his place. In addition, it is advisable to carry out your rituals before going to bed: washing your face, reading a book, etc. Children need rules and routine.

Consequences

An adequate reaction of parents to a child’s tantrums is very important for the favorable formation of relationships. At the present time, in the world there are many incorrect attitudes that evaluate the behavior and upbringing of children.

Some parents are happy when they hear their child's demanding cry. This, they believe, is a demonstration of disobedience and the behavior of a free, leadership person. It is important to understand that a constantly crying child is not a leader, but a little person who needs to be paid attention to and helped, since in many situations he cannot cope on his own.

Children inform their parents through a cry about their general condition before the development of full speech. Then, if the tantrums continue, the help of specialists is often required, since by the age of 3 a speaking child can explain everything in words, and not by crying.

All of us, parents, take care of our children and try to protect them from troubles and disappointments. But, of course, every person, including children, experiences feelings of fear, embarrassment, loneliness or dissatisfaction. And how can adults help their baby get rid of pain when the child cries?

Firstly, you don’t need to immediately rush to him and calm him down at all costs. Think about why a child cries and what are tears for? A crying baby is freed from overwhelming emotions. And first we need to be ready to listen to him, and not just say: “Don't cry!” or disappointments contain stress hormones. This means that with the help of crying, the child gets rid of mental pain and is naturally healed from it.

Think back to your childhood. Surely you have often heard such soothing words: “Quiet! Everything is fine! Why are you crying? There is no need to get upset over trifles! Boys don't cry!” etc. As a result, we also tell our children when they are crying or angry.

The process of releasing negative emotions involves the attention of another person. So children need someone to listen to them too. Remember your children when they first started walking or running, when they fell, etc. If people nearby made frightened faces, immediately rushed to help, began to ooh and ahh, then the child immediately became frightened, upset and began to cry and scream loudly. If no one showed any sign or simply did not pay attention, then the child remained calm.

Almost the same thing happens when a child experiences emotional pain rather than physical pain. If there is no one nearby, then there is no one to share your grief with. In this case, unspoken resentment begins to accumulate, and crying may indicate that there is a more serious problem than this resentment or the physical pain of the bruise. When there is a patient listener nearby, the baby has the opportunity to throw out all the negative feelings that have accumulated before.

If you constantly reassure a child and tell him to stop crying, then gradually children learn to hide their emotions. Having learned to control their behavior, in the future children will show their emotions only in those moments when they feel safe, or when their patience is overflowing. This is why emotional outbursts occur. Most often they occur spontaneously when parents are nearby.

When children are away from their parents, they often bottle up their emotions. I think that many of you are familiar with situations when a child went to kindergarten for the first time. In your presence, the child cries and is capricious, and from the teachers you hear that everything was fine without you. The child played, ate, slept, etc. But when you return home, the hysterics begin again.

The security that a child feels when he is close to his parents allows him to relax and finally get rid of oppressive feelings. A warm and kind atmosphere, support and understanding of parents makes it possible to throw out painful emotions.

Remember that emotions are not good or bad, right or wrong. Emotions must always be accepted, no matter what they are. But behavior and ways of expressing feelings may or may not be acceptable. For example, when a child is angry, you can hit the pillow with your hands and feet, but you cannot break the furniture; You can throw soft balls, but you cannot hit a mirror with a wooden hammer, etc.

Every attack of anger, resentment or hysteria has a positive side. The child, having gotten rid of pain and worries, again becomes calm, cheerful and friendly.

Be patient and do not take words spoken in anger personally. The child only uses those methods of getting rid of anger that are available to him. And this does not mean at all that the child hates or does not love you. Teach him to cope with negative emotions in constructive ways, listen to him, let him get rid of the accumulated negativity. And already in adulthood, your child will be grateful for everything you have done for him.

Chapter 1. Why is the baby crying?

Let's first, dear parents, figure out what baby crying is and what can cause it. Finding out this is important, because only by knowing the roots of tears can both be eliminated. And I also want to say that parents who, not understanding why a child endlessly sheds tears, think wrongly and therefore consider crying to be causeless. Believe me, this doesn't happen.

Crying is a signal that occurs reflexively in infants due to feelings of hunger, thirst, desire to sleep and the urge to recover naturally. Subsequently, crying signals any unpleasant, unbearable feeling that reaches the level of affect: acute anxiety and fear, sadness and melancholy, irritation and excitement.

The various functions of crying - whim (hysteria), protest, request, demand, complaint (resentment), crying-signal, crying-release - constitute a complex psychological structure, that is, a unique language.

For outsiders, a child's crying is an unpleasant irritant. Mom always knows how to catch notes in it that indicate what her baby wants. If adults try to use any means to stop a child's crying, they risk not only increasing the distance between themselves and him, but also erecting a real wall of indifference and misunderstanding.

However, there are children who clearly cry more than others. They shed tears for every reason: sympathizing with their favorite fairy tale characters or seeing a dead butterfly, hearing screams and loud voices, experiencing physical pain or entering into conflict with someone.

Crying is a strong mental experience, a kind of emotional shock that occurs against the background of previous tension, excitement or inhibition.

It can be the result of a release of tension, like an overflowing thundercloud from which rain pours down. The relief experienced after crying to some extent helps to improve mood, thus representing a means of regulating emotional tone.

Sometimes crying indicates a limitation of vital interests and needs that the child cannot reconcile with, a humiliation of his self-esteem, insult and resentment. Often it arises as a way of attracting the attention of parents, as a kind of request for help, intervention, or resolution of one or another troubling problem. For emotionally indifferent parents, the baby's cry in this case reaches the gradation of a cry of despair, as if calling on them to be more responsive to him. He thus complains about the one who offended him, about his poor health, pain, and inability to realize his desires.

Many parents complain about the restless behavior of their children: whims, irritability, tears over every little thing, turning into hysterics when the child falls to the floor and starts kicking or kicking. We must try to find out the reason for this behavior and try to eliminate it.

Especially often, a mother is alarmed by the inexplicable cry of an infant. In such cases, if you are convinced that there is no visible reason for concern, and the doctor, having examined him, concluded that he is healthy, you should not run up to him at his every cry, pick him up and please him, feed him at the wrong time, just to calm him down. . Otherwise, the baby will get used to the fact that by screaming he can achieve everything he wants. Incorrect techniques will only calm him for a short time.

Let's start with the fact that when we cry in the first years of our life, the baby expresses natural needs, that is, he wants to eat, drink, relieve himself, or he is uncomfortable in wet clothes. The child does not yet know how to speak and expresses all his desires through crying, thereby attracting the attention of his parents.

Later, when the baby learns to pronounce his first words and, it would seem, should already express his desires with them, he still cries and is capricious if he wants something. This happens reflexively, because the subconscious contains information about this method of fulfilling desires.

Nervous irritability often arises in him if he persistently demands the impossible. Sometimes he doesn’t need this object at all, he’s just used to getting his way with screams and tears.

It is also possible that already at an early age a child is taught to be calm and cheerful only in the presence of adults. He feels comfortable only when someone is nearby and they pay attention to him. And this is undesirable, as it is fraught with unpleasant consequences.

If the baby does not find something to do and feels the need for direct contact with his parents, he can express his desire in order to attract the attention of adults by crying, whining, complaining about various misfortunes and thus achieve his goal. If he is very small, they will pick him up and try to calm him down, that is, they will show him some attention.

Communication means a lot to a baby. Those parents who pay enough attention to this do the right thing. But you shouldn’t indulge and fulfill all your whims: give everything you ask, constantly take him in your arms and constantly be near him, throwing away all your affairs and worries.

Around the sixth week of life, often when evening falls, the baby begins to cry, writhe, and show signs of illness. At the same time, he is clean, he has drunk enough water, he is not hot... This condition is called “evening restlessness.” Don't be alarmed. This often happens, but passes, as it corresponds to the phase of restless awakening, which disappears by the third month of life. He has no other way to discharge the tension accumulated during the day, and he discharges himself in this way. Consider these to be the difficulties of a newborn adjusting to the rhythms of day and night.

When a baby starts teething, he becomes very irritable and whiny. Teething is a very painful process: the gums swell, itch and hurt, saliva runs heavily, and the temperature rises.

Crying can also be a consequence of an emotional disorder, when the baby is afraid or is unable to express his feelings and desires out loud. This is possible when in contact with strangers, people unfamiliar to him. Often on the street or in transport we hear such expressions: “Stop squealing, otherwise I’ll give you to your uncle!” or “If you kick your aunt, she will take you with her!”

Usually such threats produce a negative result. But there are children with a very sensitive and vulnerable psyche; such warnings make a very strong impression on them and cause fear. And the words “Come on, come on, I’ll take her to my place!” can cause panic at the prospect of spending your whole life in the company of strangers. After all, the baby takes everything said at face value.

Such threats develop in children a persistent rejection of strangers, and in the future they feel free and at ease only in familiar surroundings, in the circle of loved ones and relatives.

If a baby is cold or hot, and he doesn’t know how to say it, he naturally starts crying. He also expresses his emotions when he gets into his pants. Of course, who would like to walk around in wet clothes! And the baby loudly calls for correction of annoying misunderstandings.

Irritability, tears and whims are sometimes the result of an overload of impressions when you take him shopping, visiting, walking in the park, going to the zoo or riding on a carousel, where there are a lot of people and noise. Kids react differently to noise and large crowds of people: some quickly get used to it, while others are very afraid and may even get sick as a result.

The baby does not want to go to bed, so he begins to be capricious and cry. All your tenderness may not be enough if the child does not want to go to bed; his crying fills every corner of the house. Resolving this situation will require a lot of patience. Such crying should be treated as a process of gradual re-education, like breaking the habit of a bad habit.

Children, like adults, also have dreams. But since the child cannot yet find an explanation for many objects and phenomena, they naturally frighten him. As you know, we most often have dreams related to previous events. And if he dreams of something unfamiliar, incomprehensible, this causes his fear and, as a result, tears. In other words, the baby had a nightmare.

He may cry not only because of a bad dream. There is a lot in the world that the child does not yet know and cannot explain, hence the strong fear, and the baby begins to cry to the point of hysteria and painful spasms.

When a child gets sick and cannot explain what hurts him, he begins to cry in pain, be capricious, refuse to eat, and sleep restlessly.

In the first years of his life, he is under constant supervision of a local doctor. It is very important that he is not afraid of his visit. Usually children associate a white coat with pain, injections, an unpleasant sensation when they listen to it or look at the neck, and they begin to cry, even to the point of hysteria, resist, fight, do not allow the doctor to do an examination, and push away his hands.

Crying is a natural reaction if a baby falls or gets hit. Of course it hurts him. Children generally take their failures very seriously. Even if he hit himself slightly, he will still make a whole tragedy out of it, because it is important for him that they pay attention to him, sympathize with him and feel sorry for him.

Sometimes children do not want to wear what their parents offer them - and again there are whims, tears and other actions, including throwing away clothes.

Not all children quickly get used to kindergarten. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort and patience to adapt to a new environment and get used to other children. After all, the child considered it natural that his mother should always be with him. Finding himself in an unfamiliar environment and losing sight of his parents, the baby gets scared and begins to look for them, expressing his dissatisfaction by crying.

He may cry if he is hurt by other children. For example, he was pushed, a toy was not shared, a book with interesting pictures was taken away...

By crying, he expresses dissatisfaction when something doesn’t work out for him. For example, a child tried to put on socks on his own, but unsuccessfully. The toe turns over, the foot does not want to get into it. The baby begins to get nervous and cry, as if attracting the attention of adults to help him.

In the first years, children sweat a lot and wear diapers or onesies. All this negatively affects the condition of their skin. Therefore, it is very important to bathe them regularly. But not everyone likes water procedures and expresses their dissatisfaction by screaming and crying, organizing “concerts”, attracting the attention of not only family and friends, but even neighbors who listen in bewilderment to the loud screams behind the wall and painfully wonder what they are doing to them. a child, since he cries so hysterically.

Tears may be the result of punishment. In general, they greatly influence the mental development of the child. He can withdraw and become embittered, as he sees connections between his behavior and punishment, assessing it only as violence from adults.

Punishment for no reason seems especially offensive to a child when he is not at all to blame. For example, while walking, someone pushed him into the mud, naturally, he got dirty, got scared and burst into tears. Arriving home, he looks for sympathy from his mother, and she starts yelling at him because she will have to do the laundry again. She didn’t understand the situation and didn’t ask him about how it happened. As a result, the child, crying and offended, stands in the corner, serving his punishment.

A crying child, being in a state of passion, does not perceive comments, advice, orders well, which means that it is useless to educate while crying. It is unacceptable to punish him when he is crying, since he can easily forget what he was punished for, and the very state of crying is inherently a punishment for him.

There is a common belief that children's tears are easy to dry. Indeed, the duration of the emotional state in children under five years of age is relatively short, but the strength of emotions is not inferior to, and sometimes even exceeds, a similar state in adults.

The grief of a child over the loss of a beloved kitten is no less great than the grief of an adult who has lost a loved one. And it’s simply impossible to brush him off in such a situation, even if he forgets about it in two weeks. What about the fear of being abandoned in the kindergarten locker room? Adults think that 15 minutes will not change anything, and they are wrong.

Experiences and emotions require a lot of energy, so don’t oversaturate your baby’s day with a complex of events, even pleasant ones. This can cause unexpected vomiting, fussiness, tearfulness, and sleep disturbances.

Chapter 2. What should parents do?

You can’t ignore the crying of your son or daughter at all. This can cause irreparable damage to trust in adults. When the crying is clearly hysterical, the best thing is not to reinforce it with increased attention, but to provide an opportunity for the release of nervous tension. In other cases, crying should be dealt with, which is only possible with confidential contact and a guarantee of no punishment.

First of all, the baby cries, expressing natural needs. This is very easy to find out by offering him something to eat or drink. He cries and says that his diaper or clothes are wet. Check and change them. An older child may be asking to use the potty. Acting in such a situation is as easy as shelling pears: put him on the potty and stay with him, distract him with conversation or show him a toy.

He may cry if he is hot or, conversely, cold. You will determine this by the condition of his skin: the skin will be wet, sweaty if he is hot, and cool, with pimples (goose bumps) if the baby is cold. Having found out the reason, try to eliminate it. In general, it is very undesirable for children to overheat; this is worse for them than cold. Don’t make him a sissy, don’t wrap him up, turning him into cabbage, this will lead to diseases faster.

Tearfulness and moodiness are most often the result of illness. He may cry out because his tummy hurts or he has been missing stool for more than the allotted time. To eliminate discomfort, use a light abdominal massage. The massage is performed clockwise with stroking movements. Make sure your hands are warm, use baby cream to better glide your hands over his body.

If there is no effect, remove the gases. To do this, place the baby on his left side and bend his legs, pressing them to his tummy. You can use another method - insert a gas outlet tube. The last resort, if there is no positive result, is an enema. Place the baby on his left side and give him an enema with warm boiled water.

If any serious illness occurs, do not self-medicate under any circumstances, because you do not know what the child is sick with. Call your local doctor at home. The first symptoms of the disease, as a rule, are lethargy, drowsiness, and refusal to eat. Pay attention to the condition of the skin, look at the neck, check the stool. Be sure to measure your body temperature.

As you know, when a child is sick, his appetite decreases, so do not force feed him, do not give him as much food as possible. Another important point: even if the baby is sick, do not force him in bed. Since constant stay in bed is accompanied by crying due to the reluctance to lie down, know that the baby will spend no less energy on tears than on walking.

Dress it appropriately for the temperature, but in no case should you dress half of your wardrobe - overheating is very dangerous for children, especially when they are sick.

It often happens that even after recovery a nervous and tearful state persists. Be patient. Do not respond to him with your irritation and screams, but first of all, take care of strict adherence to the established regime in accordance with the condition and age of the child: put him to bed on time, feed him properly and spend time in the fresh air more often. Give your child as much care and affection as possible, because even an adult, when sick, requires increased attention. Try to distract him from the consequences that the disease has led to (weakness, imbalance), do not disturb his usual routine, this can only do harm.

The child cries, is capricious, and does not want to go to the doctor. First of all, you need to talk to him, explain why you are going to the clinic and how this visit will go. The relationship between the child and the doctor develops through the parents, because it is they who bring him to the appointment, explain the reason for the visit, the symptoms of the disease. Therefore, it is very important to explain to him that there is nothing terrible in such a visit, that he will not be hurt there. Under no circumstances should you frighten a child with injections or going to the hospital. Imagine that you can instill in your child fear and hostility towards people in white coats for the rest of his life.

The child is capricious, cries, and does not want to go to bed. Of course, from the first days of his life he got used to your constant presence, he doesn’t want to part, leave his toys and go to bed. He needs you to be around for a while. Sit on the edge of the bed, tell him some good story, fairy tale, read a book or just look at pictures with him. You can quietly sing a song or just talk about your day.

This will allow the baby to finish his day calmly. Ask him about what interesting things happened, share your affairs with him, but do it in a way that he can understand. His favorite toy should be nearby so he can reach it. After all, children love to sleep with toys. At this moment, you should give your baby maximum attention and affection, as this is very important for him and for you and helps strengthen your relationship.

Sometimes the baby, on the contrary, is capricious because he wants to sleep, but cannot fall asleep. Soothe him, caress him, give him a relaxing massage. Stay with him a little, try to get him to sleep.

To teach your baby to go to bed voluntarily, the first step is to calm him down. Let him cry for a few minutes, then go over and cuddle him. Gradually increase the time gap before coming to him when he begins to cry. Over time, he will understand that he was not abandoned when he sleeps, his loving parents are nearby. You will let him know that you love him, that you are always with him. This way he will calm down, get used to it and fall asleep without whims.

If your baby refuses to eat, do not force-feed him or yell at him. Be patient. Tell me what you need to eat to grow big and healthy, like your dad; Place the toy on the table and “feed” it, alternating one spoon for the doll, the other for him. There is another well-known way - to eat a spoon for each family member: for dad, for mom, for grandma...

Your baby does not like and does not want to bathe. What to do in such a situation? First of all, try to explain to him why this is being done. Tell us how important it is to keep your body clean. Remember the fairy tale “Moidodyr” about a boy from whom all his clothes ran away because he was dirty. Remind him how sick he has been lately, and try to convince him that if he takes a bath, he will never get sick.

Use a variety of washable toys. Now there are many wind-up waterfowl toys that can distract him while swimming. Blow soap bubbles together. The most important thing is that you should be nearby; under no circumstances leave the baby alone in the bathroom, because he may not only choke, but also be very frightened by the water.

Sometimes the reluctance to bathe is due to soap or shampoo getting into the eyes. He continues to have unpleasant sensations, so he begins to cry. Use special detergents for children that will not cause irritation if they come into contact with the eyes.

The baby becomes stubborn and does not want to get dressed, begins to get nervous, cry, and throw his clothes around. Find out why he is protesting. Maybe he wants to wear his favorite thing, let him make the choice himself, if possible. Or, after showing the item, interest her in some pattern, say that the blouse or pants are beautiful, warm and comfortable.

Sometimes a baby doesn't like clothes because he feels uncomfortable in them, but he can't express it in words. If you go outside and your child objects to a warm jacket, explain that it is cold outside and show that you will also dress warmly. But under no circumstances should you start screaming or forcefully dress the child. This will negatively affect your future relationships.

The baby grows, develops, learns, and acquires some skills. When something doesn’t work out for him, he may burst into tears and throw objects and toys around. In this case, when we cry, he calls you for help, since he cannot cope on his own. Find out what he wants. Help him do this, but don't yell at him, and certainly don't help him silently. It might look something like this: “Let me help you. I’ll show you how to do it, and you can repeat it” or “Let’s do it together.”

The child does not want to go to a nursery or kindergarten. Keep in mind that he finds himself in an unfamiliar environment and the period of adaptation can be very different - some people get used to it very quickly, while others will need more time. After all, the baby is deprived of your presence and is very afraid to be left in an unfamiliar environment without you.

Explain to him why you are sending him to kindergarten. Try to convince him that you are doing this not to get rid of him, not because you are tired of him, you are tired or you have more important things to do, but to help him spend his time more interesting and richer.

In order for the baby to adapt faster, effort and patience are needed. Under no circumstances should you force a child into kindergarten, yell at him and scare him that you won’t take him home if he doesn’t stop crying. Try to ensure that going to kindergarten does not become a psychological trauma for him, but, on the contrary, turns out to be a joyful event. He should be prepared for this in advance.

Arriving at kindergarten, the child should already have the skills to wash himself, dress independently, and sit on the potty. Therefore, instill in him the necessary household skills in advance so that he has more time for games and does not have annoying problems associated with the inability to do something on his own.

Tell us more about the kindergarten and what the child will do there. Be sure to tell him that he is already big and you are proud of him, because now he can go to kindergarten, just like you can go to work.

Try to convince him that they won’t hurt you in the kindergarten, that there are other children and toys there. You can take his favorite toy with you to make him feel calmer, since a piece of home and everything he is used to is with him. Don't run away as soon as you bring your baby. Slowly undress him and lead him by the hand into the group, interest him in something so that the baby is distracted.

There are children who cannot get used to kindergarten for a very long time; they are afraid to go there, resist, and cry. In a group, they hide in a corner, don’t play with anyone, and avoid teachers. First of all, try to talk with the child, establish the reason, maybe the teachers treat him badly or are offended by other children?

In kindergarten, during communication, children, like adults, may experience conflict situations. Most often this happens because of toys. They may push him, offend him, or take away the toy he wanted to play with. Talk to him and, having found out the reason, try to eliminate it, but this does not mean that you urgently need to transfer the baby to another nursery or kindergarten. Be patient, act gradually, ask him in detail about what he did and who he played with. All this will help him believe that he will be fine in kindergarten, and he can play perfectly well with other children before his mother arrives.

As you know, children are very fond of outdoor games, they love to run around and very often fall and get dirty. You can’t punish or shout for this. This is natural for his age and very useful for his development. Imagine what will happen to a child if he sits quietly on a chair, losing his usual mobility? Muscle weakness may develop, he will be more prone to diseases, and lag behind his peers.

If your baby falls, gets hit hard, or scrapes his knees, don’t yell at him, he’s already scared. Try to calm down, distract, and carefully treat the wounds. Explain that it is not so scary and will heal soon.

If the baby is “overloaded” with impressions, it is difficult for him to understand and perceive the large amount of information received, to “digest” it, he begins to be capricious and cry. You need to talk to him about his impressions, try to find out what annoys him or, conversely, interests him. If he doesn’t understand something, don’t brush it off, try to explain it to him so that he understands.

Under no circumstances should you frighten or deceive a child. The shock caused by fear can have a detrimental effect on his psyche; he may begin to stutter, twitch, and will be afraid of the dark, loud sounds, or a room in which no one is present. If the baby is capricious and crying, do not under any circumstances scare him with wolves, witches and other scary characters, this can lead to the development of mental illness.

Sometimes a baby may cry because he is simply bored. Try to cheer him up. Offer him something to do, do something together. Get your child interested. Look at a picture book, play something, and ultimately just talk to him. Very often, parents brush off their children, citing their fatigue and busyness. All this can end quite badly. He will withdraw into himself, harbor a grudge, and you risk losing not only his trust, but also the child as a person.

There is no simple and universal recipe here. However, we can say with confidence that sensitivity and vulnerability are signs of the mental makeup of such children, properties of their nervous system. You cannot change these innate characteristics at will. Moreover, such means of educational influence as persuasion, reproaches, punishment, shouting, ridicule will not help here, and will most likely even bring a negative result. Any violent measures will cause an increase in tension and anxiety, will further weaken the baby’s nervous system, and will take away strength and self-confidence.

Even the most loving parents will not be able to protect their child from life’s troubles, because you cannot keep your child under a glass bell all the time. Therefore, the simplest tactic in dealing with such children is not to get annoyed by their crying. But being with them is the best way to calm them down. Let him feel that you are ready to help him, because this is so important to him.

Try to switch his attention to something else, give him some specific task so that it interests the baby and, of course, is within his power.

In short, the most important thing that is required from parents is patience. Do not forget that high emotional sensitivity is closely related to responsiveness, kindness, cordiality, willingness to help, to defend the weak, and these are very valuable human qualities!

Therefore, no matter how strange it may sound, listen to the child’s cry, delve into its meaning, and do not try to interrupt it as quickly as possible, to dry the child’s tears. Crying and tears are the language of children's communication, so do not be deaf to it just because you have forgotten how to speak it yourself.

If a child is afraid of strangers, of course, he expresses this through tears. Fear of strangers is a typical form of maladjusted behavior in a child. It is at this time that he very urgently needs your support, understanding, and protection. A calm, friendly family atmosphere helps relieve stress and makes it easy to cope with the problem.

The child’s world is still mostly limited to the walls of the house, courtyard or kindergarten, so the appearance of an unfamiliar face makes the child wary. If a stranger behaves harmlessly from his point of view, for example, does not touch his toys, does not grab his parents in his arms, the wariness gradually disappears. Otherwise, it can develop into panic fear and even persistent phobia.

It’s good when parents are understanding about this problem. This means that they will not allow themselves to commit violence against a child just for the sake of demonstrating to their friends their achievements in the field of educating the younger generation.

If your baby is crying, do not rush to call a doctor or stuff him with pills and mixtures, just pat him on the head. The mother's warm, soft hands touched the baby, stroked the back, tummy, chest, lingered a little longer on the forehead, and the baby calmed down.

Amazing effect, right? But this is nothing unusual. It has been known since ancient times that massage has a calming effect, especially if it is done by the mother. She seems to convey her warmth and calmness to the baby, and he stops crying and being capricious. By showing maximum patience and attention, in the future you will be rewarded for this with the health and well-being of your child.

Chapter 3. Mom + baby = friendship

How to gain a child's trust? How to get him to open up? Parents very often ask themselves this question, but sometimes, unfortunately, it is too late, when it is very difficult to regain lost trust, respect and authority.

First of all, there is no need to lose this trust. After all, from the very first days of his existence, the baby sees his protection in you and always runs to his mother when someone offends him or something doesn’t work out for him. So do not rush to disrupt the physical and emotional unity that arises between you and your child. Smile, talk to your baby, and it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t understand the meaning of your words, the main thing for him is that you communicate with him, the intonation with which you pronounce the words matters.

The unity established between you and the baby from the very first days of his existence will, of course, change over time, but will still remain the unity of mother and child, only transformed into a new, meaningful quality. You will get rid of many problems if you become not only a mother to him, but also a friend.

A child is able to feel and understand whether he is loved, whether he is happy, and whether he is treated with respect. This means that it is not enough to tell him that he is loved, he must fully find confirmation of this, so that it does not turn out that you tell him about your love, but in fact he feels very lonely.

Deception leads to the child gradually losing trust in adults, because he expects danger at any moment. Constant vigilance unnerves him, makes him fearful and whiny. Under no circumstances should you fraudulently obtain anything from him.

For example, if mom went to the store, and dad says that mom will be back soon and bring something sweet, the baby starts running from window to window in anticipation. And when mother finally comes and does not bring the sweets promised by father, he becomes disappointed and cries out of resentment. If this happens repeatedly, the baby will stop trusting you.

The lack of maternal love and attention leads to the fact that the baby withdraws into himself and becomes lonely next to loved ones. But childhood loneliness is a pretty scary thing. Parents are engaged in solving their problems: career, finances, personal life, leaving the child to his own devices, limiting the relationship with him exclusively to issues of care.

Communication with peers is very important. And if the child is embarrassed to make contact with other children, he needs help. Adult help is invaluable here. He needs to be introduced to other children by name, asked what they are playing and whether they will accept another participant. Usually among the guys there is always someone who takes the newcomer under his wing and helps him get used to the new company.

But sometimes it happens that they can offend him, call him names, or come up with an offensive nickname for him. After such incidents, the child withdraws, preferring loneliness.

It may turn out that he was made unsociable by his own misconduct, which caused severe emotional stress. While playing with other children, the baby could inadvertently drop his friend or get hit by a snowball... The sight of blood and inconsolable sobs can have a strong impact on the baby’s psyche. As a result, he gives up his usual games, does not communicate with friends, does not go outside, spends hours at home, and responds to all persuasion with a stream of tears.

In this case, you cannot persuade him or swear. You can help him restore his peace of mind by talking and explaining the situation so that his guilt complex dissipates.

The busyness of modern adults is one of the signs of our time, when parents manage, in addition to their main job, to run part-time jobs, have two jobs, and take work home. What if a child is raised by a single mother? Here the issue of raising a normal, full-fledged person is very acute.

The decision to have a child is associated with the acceptance by adults of responsibility for its fate. But it is by no means wrong to consider oneself the root cause of everything that happens to him. The child is able to take responsibility for his actions. Once you ask him to do something himself, he will understand that he must be responsible for his actions. Endless instructions and parting words, and even more so, complaints and lamentations after his unseemly act, will lead him to aggression.

To understand your child, change his behavior, establish contact or regain lost trust, you must first change yourself. Open your eyes. After all, you were used to forbidding him from everything and demanded unconditional submission. It's convenient for you. But try to understand that the child has his own “I”, his own affairs, aspirations, needs, independence. Once you realize this, you will be able to soberly assess your relationship with him.

Analyze your behavior, your attitude towards the baby, every gesture, word, action, put yourself in his place, and this will allow you to establish mutual understanding.

It is important to understand that education is cooperation, interaction, mutual influence, mutual enrichment (emotional, moral, spiritual, intellectual) between adults and the child.

In order to successfully raise a child, parents must certainly correct their behavior, engage in self-education, and not set bad examples. If you want to get him to unquestioningly fulfill your demands, which you don’t actually follow yourself, this will only be possible through coercive measures: the child will fulfill the demands formally, out of fear of punishment. This fear ultimately gives rise to deception, hypocrisy, cunning...

Do we understand our children? To understand a person means to see the reasons for his actions, to explain the motives that prompted him to act in a certain way. To learn to understand, it is necessary to reduce the excessive demands that he simply cannot fulfill.

You can explain a child’s behavior by analyzing the conditions under which his development occurs. If a child is constantly shouted at or used physical punishment, he will most likely develop a need to avoid such shocks and, as a result, such negative traits as deceitfulness, timidity, distrust, aggressiveness will appear...

If the child was protected from work and adults did everything for him, the child becomes lazy, weak-willed, will avoid any business, which means he will pretend, ingratiate himself, deceive, deceive.

Another option is when the baby was simply spoiled: they bought expensive things and toys, and did not deny him anything. Such a child develops exorbitant claims, but at the same time the inability to take care of things and appreciate the work put into them. Remember that the lack of communication cannot be filled with expensive toys, things, or unquestioning fulfillment of all his desires.

The baby’s intelligence, thinking, ability to worry, and interest in knowledge will develop poorly if you haven’t read books to him or talked to him a little. After all, intellectual inclinations are laid in early childhood, so communicate with him, teach him to love books, but do not force him to read - you will get the opposite, negative effect.

Sometimes parents are very zealous in their children's education. From an early age they hire tutors, send him to prestigious kindergartens and educational institutions with special interests, load him up with music schools, dances, etc. But somehow they forget to ask him whether he likes all this. Please note that a very small number of children enjoy singing, dancing, and music.

Don't overload your baby with things he isn't interested in. Try to find out his passions and choose an appropriate activity. Give him the right to choose, the right to decide for himself what to do.

Develop your children's abilities from early childhood. Awaken attention in their souls, arouse ideas and observation. To do this, use a variety of objects, teach them to describe them, talk about their purpose. Develop mental abilities that will help your child find himself in the future.

To develop a sense of love and compassion in your child, you can get a pet. He will proudly tell everyone that he has a hamster or a kitten. Show your child how to properly care for him, what to feed him, and how to handle him in general. If you notice that he is offending the animal, explain that it is also alive and in pain. Tell them that the animal has lost its parents, it is very lonely, and it needs someone to take care of it.

Teach him to take care of the animal himself, and you will see what the result will be. This will instill in him not only a love for nature and animals, but will help him understand his importance, his necessity for someone, and relieve him of the feeling of loneliness. The child will look at your relationship with him with different eyes, which will help strengthen it.

Understand that what the baby is doing is extremely important to him, even if it seems to you that this is not the case. Let me give you an example from my practice. A young mother came to my appointment and told me: “One day my son came up to me and asked me to play with him. At that time I was watching an interesting program and explained to the baby that I was busy now and would play with him later. After some time, going into the child’s room, I saw that he was putting a toy under the bed, then taking it out and putting it back again. I called the child for lunch, to which I received the following answer: “I’m busy right now, I’ll come back later.”

The woman did not know how to react to such an answer. This happened repeatedly. I explained to the young mother that the child imitates her in everything, and, in his opinion, what he does is very important for him. Therefore, he does not understand his mother’s indignation at his behavior. After all, he was waiting for the program that was important for his mother to end. So why doesn't she want to wait?

Sometimes, in order for a child to understand what care and respect are, he himself needs to take care of someone. For example, you came home from work, you’re tired, you have a bad headache, there’s trouble at work. The kid looks at you inquisitively, wondering why you are in such a state. Ask him to bring you something to drink. Tell him, without going into details, that you were offended at work, let the child show sympathy, let him feel sorry for you. This way he will understand that you need him and cannot live without him.

If you notice your baby has a tendency to lie, try to discover the reason. Lies often arise from fear of punishment. Do not punish him too harshly, especially since corporal cruel punishment should be avoided. Try to find out why the child lied, delve into his problem. Maybe by talking to him, you will save him not only from this vice, fear, but also from other complexes.

Allow the baby to show his importance, take into account his desires (reasonable, of course!). After all, self-expression is the main, urgent need of human nature.

Allow your baby to participate in your activities, no matter what you are doing - mopping the floor or preparing breakfast. It is very important for him to feel that he is trusted to do something on an equal basis with adults. After all, children from an early age begin to imitate their parents, very quickly absorbing everything they see and hear. Involving a child in some activities not only accustoms him to work, but also brings him closer to his parents. Such a child will treat his parents and what they do with respect and understanding.

It is not necessary to entrust your child with something difficult that he is not able to cope with. Give him a task that he can complete: wash his cup, wipe the dust off the table, and finally put away his toys. Praise him, tell him that he helped you a lot and you couldn’t have done it without him.

Do not scream under any circumstances if your baby tries to do something he is unable to cope with. See how he tries to do it, help him. Tell him he's great.

If, for example, you decide to sew something for yourself, and your daughter is hanging around with a doll, involve her in your activity. Give him scraps of fabric and let him do something too. If something doesn't work out for her, help her. Don't forget about praise, because it means a lot to a child.

Or another situation: dad is making a shelf for the hallway. My little son is spinning around nearby, grabbing tools and nails and getting underfoot. Don't shoo him away, don't be afraid that he will hit his fingers with a hammer or drop a tool on his foot. Let him help, tell him that nothing will work without him. Give a task that he will happily complete and that it will be safe for him. You will see an amazing result when your son proudly tells everyone that he and his dad made a shelf.

Joint games, which bring not only pleasure, but also educational information, have a very beneficial effect on the relationship with the child. Children's games are their main occupation, but they should be directed in such a way that they stimulate the harmonious activity of all the child's mental abilities, avoiding one-sidedness.

Offer him a speed game, for example, who can assemble a pyramid faster. Of course, you should give in, and when the baby proudly shows that he was the first to do it, praise him.

By playing with your baby or doing something, you get closer to him. The child is interested in you, you are one whole.

Walking has a very beneficial effect on family relationships. You've probably often seen a picture where a baby, holding tightly to the hands of mom and dad, proudly walks along for a walk. Run with him, play some games, swing on a swing, roll in the snow or throw snowballs at a target. Walking together not only lifts your spirits and promotes better physical development of the baby, but also strengthens relationships.

Small children, it would seem, at such an unintelligent age, surprisingly subtly perceive any, including the most intimate, feelings of their parents. Under normal conditions, it is the harmonious combination of these feelings that creates a child’s feeling of confidence and happiness.

In order for mutual understanding and trust to exist between you, you must give all your love and attention to the baby, teach the child to work, respect adults, and value friendship from early childhood. Give him as much attention as possible, do not brush off his childhood problems like an annoying fly.

Try to become a true friend to your child, and then you will see his shining eyes and understand that for him you are not just a mother, an object of adoration and admiration, reliable protection and support, you are his most faithful and reliable friend.

Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers treated infant crying quite philosophically, believing that during crying child“develops the lungs,” and therefore she will cry and stop. However, nowadays the more popular point of view is that crying is a request. baby for help, a message that he has problems that need to be solved as quickly as possible. Parents should not be afraid to spoil their child by responding to his every cry. According to child psychologists, spoiling baby up to a year is impossible. Before the age of one year, you can either create baby confidence in the safety and reliability of a new environment and environment, or destroy this confidence. An attentive mother, listening to her baby, gradually begins to distinguish the reasons for his crying. These reasons may be different, but they have one thing in common: the discomfort that the baby feels at this time and about which he tries, as best he can, to tell adults.

When a child is missing something...

Perhaps most often child crying, when he wants to eat. The most natural, healthy and necessary food for a small child is breast milk. In addition, during breastfeeding there is contact between the baby and the mother. Nowadays, more and more often, doctors advise feeding a child “on demand” - it is believed that nature itself will tell you the correct feeding regimen. Need for physical contact with mother– also one of the main reasons for children’s crying. Taking the breast child feels mother's warmth, mother's hands. In general, he feels good, warm, safe, comfortable. And he calms down. It is not for nothing that in primitive civilizations, which have survived to this day in some African countries, mothers, at the first cries of a child, take him in her arms and immediately breastfeed. Children of Americans and residents of Western Europe, according to anthropology and sociopsychology, cry much more often and longer, which is due to the mother’s slow reaction to the baby’s crying. A child may just cry from boredom and loneliness. According to educators, the big mistake parents make is that they do not communicate much with the baby when he is awake. The baby is really looking forward to your attention. Therefore, do not remain indifferent when he calls you crying. In each of the three cases described, the mother will hear the so-called invocation cry, which consists of alternating periods of screaming and pauses. Moreover, if you do not pay attention to the child, the pauses become shorter and the screaming becomes longer. Take baby in your arms, stroke his back, move your hand over his tummy (it’s best to make these movements clockwise), then over his chest and head. Has the baby calmed down? This means he needed your attention. Does he keep crying? Then take him in your arms, press him to your chest, rock him. If child turns his head, opens his mouth and smacks his lips, then most likely he is hungry. Hungry cry starts with the draft. But if the baby does not receive food, the crying becomes angry, and then turns into a choking cry. One of the main rules of behavior for a mother when child cries, is to take him in your arms and give him the breast. If child cried in your arms, give the baby your breast and rock him. If the baby does not calm down and refuses to take the breast, you should look for other reasons for his dissatisfaction.

The child is crying because something is bothering the baby...

Feeling tired, general discomfort is often the reason why the baby is capricious and whining. Crying when wanting to fall asleep is accompanied by yawning, child closes his eyes and rubs them with his hands. Rock the stroller or crib baby, sing him a lullaby - after all, mother’s voice soothes best. If to kid cold or hot, he can also express his dissatisfaction by crying. There are several ways to “identify” such a situation. Touch the baby's nose (in such cases, you need to touch the baby's skin with the back of your hand, since the skin there is more sensitive). If the nose is warm, then its owner will feel warm and cozy. If the nose is hot, the baby is most likely hot and needs to remove one layer of clothing. If you are at home, undress baby, give him something to drink. If the nose baby cold means child freezing. A sure sign that a baby is cold is hiccups. You can also touch the hands baby, just not the hands, but a little higher - the forearms, since the hands can be cool when the baby is generally warm. A frozen baby needs to be covered or dressed warmly. Another common reason for a baby's crying is wet and dirty diapers. Usually just before urination or defecation child makes a sound similar to a squeak or whimper, and after the action itself, if the mother does not provide help, such sounds of discontent can turn into a scream. Discomfort in this case can be aggravated by skin irritation. Many parents note that their baby starts crying every day closer to six o'clock in the evening. Crying at the end of the day – a unique means of relaxation, providing an outlet for accumulated fatigue and nervousness. Take the baby in your arms, rock him, sing a lullaby, give him something to drink, and when he calms down, put him in his crib. Negative emotional states arise in children due to disturbances in the daily routine, changes in the usual course of life. The baby will be capricious both when he did not sleep well, and when he is overexcited and cannot fall asleep. Negative, conflictual family atmosphere has a detrimental effect on behavior baby: It’s not surprising that when adults quarrel, child crying. Trying to calm the child, the mother herself must be calm: her anxiety and excitement are transmitted to the baby. Improper care It can also be the cause of dissatisfaction and crying of the child, his bad behavior during feeding, bathing, and changing clothes. The child cries when bathing and even with one type of bathing equipment, if he has acquired a negative experience during this activity - for example, the water was too hot or the soap stung the eyes. If adults accidentally pinched the child's skin when they fastened buttons or snaps on clothes or pulled the handles, the baby may resist and cry when getting dressed. Loss of appetite, crying and other defensive reactions can be caused by force feeding, very hot or cold food, situations when an overfilled spoon is placed in the child’s mouth, or the next portion is brought to the mouth too quickly while the baby has not yet swallowed the previous one. The habit of sucking a pacifier often calms the child, but this interferes with the proper growth and development of the jaws and the formation of a correct bite. Children with increased excitability can be given a pacifier before falling asleep, but after sleep occurs, it must be carefully removed from the child's mouth.

Alarming symptoms

Child's ailments, pain– the most unpleasant reasons for a child’s crying. As a rule, there is no clear localization of pain in infants due to the imperfect development of their nervous system. Therefore, if there is pain in any part of the body, a small child behaves the same way: cries, screams, kicks his legs. Based on the baby's behavior in response to a painful stimulus, it is impossible to say with certainty that he is in pain. Therefore, sometimes it is difficult even for a specialist to determine what is actually causing the concern. baby. Crying in pain is crying with a hint of hopelessness and suffering. It is quite smooth, continuous, with periodic bursts of screaming, which probably correspond to the sensations of increasing pain. The most common and common ailments that cause a baby to cry include pain in the tummy (colic), pain during teething, headache (the so-called infant migraine) and increased sensitivity of the skin when it is irritated, diaper rash, and “diaper dermatitis.” Bloating and abdominal pain (colic) Usually bothers babies up to three to six months of age. At this age, the process of digestion and movement of food through the intestines is imperfect due to insufficient contractility of the muscular layer of the intestine, low enzyme activity, and intestinal microflora that is not formed or is disturbed for some reason. Other reasons may be errors in the diet of the mother who is breastfeeding; erratic, unreasonably frequent feeding baby; introducing into the diet crumbs of food that is not appropriate for his age. Colic can also be one of the signs of diseases of the gastrointestinal tract. The occurrence of colic is due to the fact that food does not have time to be absorbed by the intestines and gases are formed in increased quantities. With each feeding, this process intensifies and reaches its peak in the evening hours. At the same time, children cry, twist their legs and pull them to their stomachs, and their sleep is disturbed. In case of colic, it is necessary to allow the gases to escape: massage the stomach in a circular motion clockwise; put the child on his stomach, bend his legs at the hip and knee joints (frog position); You can place the gas outlet tube in the anus, lubricate it and the tip of the tube with oil, and with a slight twisting motion, insert the tube into the anus 3 cm. You can also place it on your stomach baby soft warm cloth, take him in your arms and press him with your stomach - the warmth will ease the colic. Try offering your baby a special dill-based children's tea that helps relieve gas. If colic recurs, you should consult a doctor. He will conduct an examination, prescribe medications that help reduce excessive gas formation, restore normal intestinal microflora, which will also lead to a decrease in gas formation, normalize stool, and, if necessary, adjust nutrition. Headache, or “infant migraine”, occurs most often in newborns with perinatal encephalopathy syndrome (PES), including increased intracranial pressure, increased or decreased muscle tone, and increased excitability. Such children often react to changes in atmospheric pressure and weather changes. They behave restlessly in windy, rainy, cloudy weather. Like an adult, a child with a headache may experience general malaise: nausea, vomiting, upset stomach. In this case, you should definitely contact a specialist who will select the right treatment. Teething– always stress for the baby. The child may be capricious, cry, his temperature may rise, and loose stools may appear. At this time, the baby is very susceptible to infections. To make teething easier, there are special teething rings with liquid inside. Usually they are cooled (but not frozen!) in the refrigerator and given to the baby to chew on. Even simply stroking your gums with your finger will reduce the pain. But if all this does not help, and even more so, if this process has led to an increase in temperature and abnormal stool, consult your pediatrician. You may need a pain reliever (such as a gum gel). Skin irritation may cause baby significant concern, so the condition of the child’s skin should be given considerable attention. Diaper dermatitis is manifested by redness and the appearance of an inflammatory rash on the skin of the buttocks and perineum. baby, child becomes irritable and cries, especially when changing diapers. Urine and feces in contact with a child’s skin disrupt its acid-base balance, causing irritation and damage to the skin. To prevent such complications, it is necessary to thoroughly clean the child’s skin and change diapers more often (for newborns - at least 8 times a day). In cases of severe irritation or development of an inflammatory process on the skin, you should consult a pediatrician. As your baby grows and matures, he will cry less. In the meantime, mother’s affection, mother’s hands, mother’s voice, mother’s warmth will be constantly needed to calm the baby; Nothing and no one can replace them for your baby. Remember that you can solve “educational problems” only if your child surrounded by love, attention and in constant contact with the people closest to him.

Before each feeding, take care to prevent colic and the natural release of gases: tighten your legs baby to the stomach and do a light massage, apply a woolen scarf (heated diaper, heating pad) to the stomach, place the child on the stomach for a few minutes (on the sofa, or even better on your or dad’s knees), while stroking the back.
When eating, make sure that your baby wraps his mouth tightly around the nipple or pacifier. If bottle feeding is necessary, purchase special nipples that do not allow air to pass through with food. After feeding, do not rush to put the baby to bed, but hold him upright for a while (as a rule, he burps up “extra” air).
Try playing melodic, calm music. Many mothers claim that the music they listened to during pregnancy, wanting to relax, becomes their lifesaver during periods of uncontrollable crying of the child.
Sometimes you need a change of scenery. First, leave the room with your child. Let him see another room and objects that might attract his attention. If possible, we recommend taking your baby for a walk.
The bath has a calming effect on both children and adults. Moreover, if your child loves to splash around in the water, bathing can be the best way to calm him down.
The most important thing is to never lose your temper or yell at your child.
And the last, although the most difficult, recommendation: try to anticipate your child’s wishes. Almost all children unconsciously make certain gestures when they want to eat, sleep, etc. Try to remember them and satisfy the child's desire before he bursts into tears.

The main thing is never let to kid scream until exhaustion.