My husband has become aggressive and irritable - reasons, advice from a psychologist. What to do if your husband is rude and nervous? Why does my husband talk rudely?

At first I even like it. Some roughness, softened by love, gives him additional brutality and sexuality. But now the candy-bouquet period is over, you have turned into a family, and it turned out that now your husband has begun to be rude much more often and is no longer at all shy in his expressions, even in front of friends. Your admiration was replaced first by indifference, then irritation. Something needs to be done - otherwise it will only get worse.

Now he’s already yelling at you, starting to swear for no reason and joyfully noticing your slightest mistakes. In fact, he also harms himself - after all, negative emotions have never benefited anyone. But your life together turns into the first circle of hell, and what happens can destroy your personality.

If he breaks the sets and guts the pillows...

My husband is rude, how should I behave in this situation? I can't stand it. If he asserts himself at your expense, even if he is loved at least three times, you need to answer. For example, a mental exercise will help. You need to imagine that you are covered with a steel dome, and all its impacts fly off from this dome, like tennis balls from a table.

Why is your husband rude to you? Usually the reason is in the past, most likely in childhood - he was often humiliated and offended, and therefore now he does not know any other method to restore self-respect. He can rise himself only by putting others down.

At the same time, he often refers to psychology: they say that it is harmful to accumulate negative emotions inside, they need to be thrown out. Here he is destroying furniture or breaking plates.

Here pseudopsychology can be answered with real psychology. Tell him that there is no point in taking out anger on foreign objects - the cause of negative emotions remains unpunished, and this only increases stress. For example, everyone knows that many Japanese have boss dolls and beat this doll up in vain.

But the effect of this is very doubtful. Studies have shown that usually, after beating up their boss, hot Japanese guys remain even more agitated, and many experience increased blood pressure and other bad symptoms. So much for Japanese action psychotherapy!

If the husband is rude because he so needs to calm down through muscle activity, then jogging will be much more effective - about five, or better yet ten, kilometers, or even just a long walk. Prayer helps true believers - but there are an absolute minority of them in our society. But in general, of course, it is already somewhat late to teach him to cope with anger - people develop these skills in early childhood.

But if it’s too late to re-educate, and a man increasingly offends and insults in word, and sometimes in deed (for example, by throwing something heavy) - then what to do? How to stop a husband from being rude to his wife? A set of simple tips will come in handy here.

Don't try to re-educate him. Let him be the way he was born and the way he was raised.
Say “thank you” more often for his advice and opinions - valuable and even not so valuable. Promise to think and take note. Thus, on the one hand, you avoid insults and scandals, moving the conversation in a constructive direction, but on the other hand, you do not bend, communicating as equals.
Know that rude people have a very subtle sense of distance and readiness to fight back at any second. Keep in mind that boors respect inner strength and willingness to resist. At the same time, you don’t need to switch to his boorish language - on the contrary, your strength is in politeness. But no one is allowed to insult you. The legal wording will come in handy: “Everything you say can later be used against you.” Of course, with the voice recorder turned on, which is now available on any smartphone.
There is no need to organize boycotts and games of silence - keep talking. For all his rudeness, he wants to be necessary for you - give him this opportunity.
Don’t forget to pause in your speeches - this way he will understand more, and the weight of your requests and wishes will increase. And after your long emotional monologue, it is better to leave the room under any pretext - a good way to avoid a meaningless scandal.
Watch your “altitude” while talking. When you are sitting and he is standing, an equal conversation is unlikely to happen. It is better to rise slowly, leveling the altitude and position in the dispute.
There is no need to scold him or yell when he does this - but turning up the volume a little is acceptable. It's enough.
Strive for clarity. Find out what exactly he is dissatisfied and angry with, what he really strives for.

Learn to give a “click on the nose”

If your husband has become rude, how to survive this? It is very important not to play his game, stooping to retaliatory insults. This is pointless - he will still beat you in the competition of throwing slop on your head, and besides, he will make you guilty. The “mirror” does not work here, especially if you are a soft person by nature. School option b, “I’ll call my older brother,” is more likely to come in handy. Anyone can act as a brother - a father (yours or his), a boss, a head of human resources.

Of course, you don’t need to provoke him into scandals and exchange of insults. However, what should you do if your husband begins to be rude with unenviable regularity? There is only one way out - “click on the nose.” Alas, sometimes you can’t do without tough measures. If you want peace, prepare for war.

How to put a rude husband in his place? The basic principle is simple, as with a child: for one offense there is exactly one punishment - and in a timely manner. There is no need to accumulate grievances and then respond with terrible punishment. And you can’t be late: if after the “crime” all reasonable statutes of limitations expire, it’s better to just forget about them.

And even after a serious offense, do not use love as punishment. Screaming: “I hate you!” - the last thing. Be offended, or, conversely, be indifferent, but do not cross the dangerous line. Do it better like at work: deprive of “bonuses” and “prizes”.

And the “answer” should not be cruel or humiliating - in this case you will not see an understanding of your mistakes, only bitterness. Your most important weapon is icy calm and inner confidence. This is the best way to make it clear that no one is allowed to yell at you.

abruptly interrupt the conversation by going to another room, not forgetting to close the door - let him calm down;
do not respond to boorish antics. He will get tired of screaming into the void, and he will find someone more emotional and pliable;
predict explosions in advance and engage in prevention, leading the conversation to calm topics that are not fraught with scandals;
call on authorities for help (from his point of view). For example, if he is a "mama's boy," you could say, "You think your mom would like to hear you hysterically?";
suggest that he himself contact someone who will help him. This could be a faithful friend or father, a priest or a psychologist - or anyone;
use humor and irony as defense and at the same time attack.

But there’s one more piece of advice you shouldn’t follow – even though it appears regularly in women’s magazines. Namely, transfer your thoughts from bad to something more pleasant, and not think about the critical situation. It doesn't happen like that! If, in the midst of a quarrel, you invite him, for example, to watch your wedding video, he will most likely twirl his finger at his temple - and he will be right. But even if he really switches, it will only be a temporary improvement in his mood - and after half an hour he will start yelling again.

But the most important thing you can’t do is just suffer in silence, endure everything for the sake of your loved one, accepting the role of a victim - the policy of appeasement did not work with Hitler, and it will not work with your husband.

And even more so, you cannot be the first to kneel after a scandal and admit that you are wrong. So you will only strengthen his sense of impunity and help him turn into a real monster.

Why is a husband constantly rude to his wife? Many people ask themselves this question. But the answer is simple - the reason is inside him, it is he who does not know how to control his anger. And anger can be caused by problems at work, a quarrel with parents - or anything at all. You just get your portion because you are nearby. So there is no need to blame yourself for his rage and engage in self-criticism. Just learn to deal with it calmly and everything will work out.

Is your husband hot-tempered and sometimes rude to you? Of course, this offends you more and more, which is absolutely understandable. Let's figure out if this is a bad habit or
everything is much more serious.

I always knew that my husband had a hot temper, but his temper had bypassed me before. But gradually my husband began to shout at me and might say something unpleasant. I pretended (probably this was my mistake) that I didn’t notice anything. Now, when my husband is not in a good mood, he uses me like a whipping girl: he distorts my words, he is rude, he can even call me names! And when it cools down, he says “in his own defense” that it was my fault that I brought him to such a state.
I’ve tried to talk to him more than once, but it’s all in vain, I’m exaggerating, they say. It’s very rare to hear the words “Well, I’m sorry” from him, and they are said in such a tone that I understand that this is a favor. I have always been against this behavior, but lately I feel that I have become nervous, angry and am about to answer my husband in the same way. Please advise how to improve the situation.
Irina Well, alas, this happens. Of course, the situation in the family is quite tense, and if nothing is done, it can go far. Therefore, it is important to solve it at a stage when there is still a desire and opportunity to change something.

Shout and be heard?

It’s hard to believe, but this is exactly how overly emotional statements are explained when sorting out relationships. It seems to a person that he cannot shout to his partner, both literally and figuratively, so he raises his voice. This is clear. Well, what about rude words? Psychologists have an explanation for this as well.
Rough and even profane language is always emotionally charged and is used in order to convey one’s thoughts even more “accessibly.” But seriously, the reasons for the not always adequate behavior of men is that they usually have more restrained behavior than us women. It is we who react emotionally to every little thing, but they accumulate and accumulate their discontent, internal tension grows, and then suddenly boom - and “you, a bad person, ruined his life.”
Another reason why a husband is rude may lie in the so-called “pattern behavior.” Simply put, in conflict situations, the spouse behaves the way his parents behaved.

Take care of youself

It’s probably not very pleasant to read this, but sometimes a woman whose husband is constantly rude should think about whether she has put herself in such an unenviable position. After all, as people say, “you want to hit a hunchbacked back,” but psychologists put it more delicately: the victim always finds his tyrant. What can you do if this is true, at least partially? We need to find a middle ground between “I’d rather remain silent out of harm’s way” and “I’ll defend my opinion until I’m hoarse.” Try to look at the situation from the outside, let him speak, and when the “fountain of emotions” dries up, calmly identify his actions and tell him about your feelings. For example, “You are screaming now. Why are you doing it? When you do this, I feel offended and want to defend myself.” Agree with your husband that, no matter how heated the argument may be, you will not get personal. After all, this is humiliation. Namely, from this, first of all, a man must protect his half.

Work for two

If you understand that the cause of your problems is your husband’s choleric temperament, try to convince him to seek help or advice (for some reason this word sounds safer for men) from a good family psychotherapist. However, this is not always easy to do. In any case, try to agree with your husband (when he is in a good mood) on a few rules at the moment when he feels like he is about to explode. If you happen to respond to your husband “in return,” they will also be useful to you.
To express your emotions, you need to choose a special place in the apartment. The main thing is that it is not the kitchen or the bedroom - we subconsciously consider these places to be the most intimate, so they should not be associated with conflicts.
During a “speech” you can raise your voice, but calling names and insulting is a no-no. Also, you can't interrupt each other. If you still have difficulties with the latter, try this psychological technique. Choose a small object (a pen, a TV remote control, a bottle of perfume) and agree that the person holding the object has the right to vote.
Physical pressure in the family is unacceptable not only to people, but also to things. And you cannot argue your opinion by throwing or breaking things.
If you feel like your emotions are getting the better of you, start communicating using notes. Thus, it will not be possible to interrupt or raise your voice. Yes, and calling people names, most likely, will not work, because the statements will be more constructive and thoughtful.

It shouldn't be like this!

It’s a completely different matter when such behavior from your husband is the style of your relationship. He is firmly convinced that his behavior is absolutely normal and not rudeness at all, but just mild criticism? It's time for heavy artillery. During your next performance, try to discreetly film it on your mobile camera or at least record it on a voice recorder. And when he is complacent, let him view or listen to the “compromising evidence.” If after this he does not think about his behavior, more drastic measures are needed. It's time to think about what good you are getting from your marriage. Stability, habit, material security are, of course, important, but your self-esteem and self-esteem cannot be sacrificed for this. You should be aware that many psychologists and women's rights organizations consider behavior in which one person regularly verbally humiliates another as emotional abuse. I am sure that if you really want to change the situation for the better, you will succeed! And your most faithful helpers in this will be self-respect and the belief that you deserve only the best.

Look at you

You, in turn, also control yourself, because, let’s be honest, women know how to “nail” and “bring to white heat” like no one else. Do you allow yourself to make negative statements about his earnings? Do you question his abilities, criticize him in front of strangers? Any man perceives such behavior as humiliation, psychologists say. Someone withdraws, becomes apathetic, and someone will defend themselves with the same weapon - humiliation, only in the form of rude and offensive words. Therefore, always remember what kind of husband you want to have next to you. Smart, strong, successful? Then treat him that way.

Men are always unpredictable. Situations are different. Sometimes girls do not understand their life partners. What to do if a guy is rude? This is the eternal question of young inexperienced girls. This article is the answer to all the questions of the female half of society.

Some women say that if a man is rude, then you should answer him in kind. This is a trivial answer. You always need to think deeper because different things happen in life. Every life situation is different, and you shouldn’t solve everything according to the same rule. First of all, a woman should think about why a guy is being rude. You can calmly talk with him or meet with his friends, acquaintances or colleagues. In a meeting, you don't need to directly ask them about your boyfriend, otherwise they might suspect something bad. Many may simply remain silent and not answer a woman’s questions. Some people in his social circle will tell everything about him. There is no guarantee that you can find out everything, but at least some of the information. Having found out the reason, a woman should think about how to solve this or that situation in her favor. A smart lady would do this.

Often completely different situations occur. When a man is rude, a woman breaks up with him. She does not answer his restless phone calls and does not come to scheduled meetings. She thinks that she will have many such men. Proud women do just that.

These are two opposite situations. In the first example, the woman tries to maintain her relationship with her lover, but in the second case it is clear that she easily breaks it off. Everyone knows that relationships that last for years are much better than those that last just a couple of weeks. It's safe to say that the first case is more ideal than the second example.

Each woman chooses for herself which scheme to follow. Many women believe that they would rather keep in their lives the person whom they have known for many years and will try to establish a relationship with him. It is difficult to let new people into your world, especially unfamiliar men. Pride is not a good friend when you have problems with a man. Pride will lead to disappointment, because sometimes men themselves are proud. Two proud people are unlikely to change the situation in a positive direction.

It is important to know that rudeness, at its core, is a natural quality of men. When a woman is rude, it is very ugly. Sometimes rudeness makes a man beautiful, if it does not go beyond the limits of reason, that is, the man becomes brutal. It is necessary to see the difference between rudeness and a man's strong character. These are different things. Men are not attracted to such a quality as softness.

What to do with male rudeness if a woman cannot stand it? Firstly, we need to make sure that the man understands that she is offended, that she is a defenseless person. Tears help a lot. Many men cannot look calmly at women's tears. They begin to regret and repent. Secondly, during conversations you can constantly tell him about shame. He must understand that his behavior is shameful. When loved ones tell people about something all the time, it acts like medicine. They begin to think with the thoughts of their loved ones, but the words about the fact that she is ashamed of him should be heard many times. Many psychologists recommend this advice. When it is necessary to change a man’s thinking, it is necessary to express a negative attitude towards this or that thing, and in the end the man agrees with the woman.

Men always look like children. The main thing is to learn how to manage them. When he repents that he behaved badly, that there was no need to be rude, then his behavior must be explained to him. It is worth saying that he is strong, and she is weak. It is important to note what offended her, that is, thereby trying to arouse pity in him. When a woman seems to have a strong personality, her man does not feel sorry for her, and he believes that she can handle it herself. It turns out that women themselves are sometimes to blame for the fact that their other half is rude to them. There is no need to become men. Everyone must remain themselves. Nature created men strong, and they are obliged to fulfill their functions, and women - weak and they cannot take the place of a man in a relationship.

From all that has been said, the most important thing can be highlighted. Men are protectors of women, not abusers. Women are weak and delicate creatures. Everyone should remain like this. If a woman wants to be strong like a man, then her partner will see in her the same personality as himself, as a result of which rudeness on his part may appear, rather than tenderness and pity towards her.

You should never sort things out with a man with a scandal. Don't shout loudly at him because of his rudeness. This will only lead to more arguing and hurtful words. The conversation with him should be calm.

According to psychologists, a man is rude to a woman in order to attract her attention. This is such a complex. It seems to him that she is not paying attention to him. When he is rude, she begins to react to it, as a result of which the man feels like a self-sufficient and strong person.

The reason for male rudeness is always different. A woman needs to carefully look at the situation and understand the reason. If rudeness is caused by one of the reasons described above, then everything can be corrected. Tenderness and affection, intelligence and patience of a woman will fix everything. If this situation repeats itself day after day, and the man is not going to change his behavior, then this should not be tolerated! Women don't deserve to be treated like this!

I always knew that my husband had a hot temper, but his temper had bypassed me before. But gradually my husband began to shout at me and might say something unpleasant. I pretended (probably this was my mistake) that I didn’t notice anything. Now, when my husband is not in a good mood, he uses me like a whipping girl: he distorts my words, he is rude, he can even call me names! And when it cools down, he says “in his own defense” that it was my fault that I brought him to such a state.
I’ve tried to talk to him more than once, but it’s all in vain, I’m exaggerating, they say. It’s very rare to hear the words “Well, I’m sorry” from him, and they are said in such a tone that I understand that this is a favor. I have always been against this behavior, but lately I feel that I have become nervous, angry and am about to answer my husband in the same way. Please advise how to improve the situation.
Irina Well, alas, this happens. Of course, the situation in the family is quite tense, and if nothing is done, it can go far. Therefore, it is important to solve it at a stage when there is still a desire and opportunity to change something.

Shout and be heard?
It’s hard to believe, but this is exactly how overly emotional statements are explained when sorting out relationships. It seems to a person that he cannot shout to his partner, both literally and figuratively, so he raises his voice. This is clear. Well, what about rude words? Psychologists have an explanation for this as well.
Rough and even profane language is always emotionally charged and is used in order to convey one’s thoughts even more “accessibly.” But seriously, the reasons for the not always adequate behavior of men is that they usually have more restrained behavior than us women. It is we who react emotionally to every little thing, but they accumulate and accumulate their discontent, internal tension grows, and then suddenly boom - and “you, a bad person, ruined his life.”
Another reason why a husband is rude may lie in the so-called “pattern behavior.” Simply put, in conflict situations, the spouse behaves the way his parents behaved.

Take care of youself
It’s probably not very pleasant to read this, but sometimes a woman whose husband is constantly rude should think about whether she has put herself in such an unenviable position. After all, as people say, “you want to hit a hunchbacked back,” but psychologists put it more delicately: the victim always finds his tyrant. What can you do if this is true, at least partially? We need to find a middle ground between “I’d rather remain silent out of harm’s way” and “I’ll defend my opinion until I’m hoarse.” Try to look at the situation from the outside, let him speak, and when the “fountain of emotions” dries up, calmly identify his actions and tell him about your feelings. For example, “You are screaming now. Why are you doing it? When you do this, I feel offended and want to defend myself.” Agree with your husband that, no matter how heated the argument may be, you will not get personal. After all, this is humiliation. Namely, from this, first of all, a man must protect his half.

Work for two
If you understand that the cause of your problems is your husband’s choleric temperament, try to convince him to seek help or advice (for some reason this word sounds safer for men) from a good family psychotherapist. However, this is not always easy to do. In any case, try to agree with your husband (when he is in a good mood) on a few rules at the moment when he feels like he is about to explode. If you happen to respond to your husband “in return,” they will also be useful to you.
To express your emotions, you need to choose a special place in the apartment. The main thing is that it is not the kitchen or the bedroom - we subconsciously consider these places to be the most intimate, so they should not be associated with conflicts.
During a “speech” you can raise your voice, but calling names and insulting is a no-no. Also, you can't interrupt each other. If you still have difficulties with the latter, try this psychological technique. Choose a small object (a pen, a TV remote control, a bottle of perfume) and agree that the person holding the object has the right to vote.
Physical pressure in the family is unacceptable not only to people, but also to things. And you cannot argue your opinion by throwing or breaking things.
If you feel like your emotions are getting the better of you, start communicating using notes. Thus, it will not be possible to interrupt or raise your voice. Yes, and calling people names, most likely, will not work, because the statements will be more constructive and thoughtful.

It shouldn't be like this!
It’s a completely different matter when such behavior from your husband is the style of your relationship. He is firmly convinced that his behavior is absolutely normal and not rudeness at all, but just mild criticism? It's time for heavy artillery. During your next performance, try to discreetly film it on your mobile camera or at least record it on a voice recorder. And when he is complacent, let him view or listen to the “compromising evidence.” If after this he does not think about his behavior, more drastic measures are needed. It's time to think about what good you are getting from your marriage. Stability, habit, material security are, of course, important, but your self-esteem and self-esteem cannot be sacrificed for this. You should be aware that many psychologists and women's rights organizations consider behavior in which one person regularly verbally humiliates another as emotional abuse. I am sure that if you really want to change the situation for the better, you will succeed! And your most faithful helpers in this will be self-respect and the belief that you deserve only the best.

Look at you
You, in turn, also control yourself, because, let’s be honest, women know how to “nail” and “bring to white heat” like no one else. Do you allow yourself to make negative statements about his earnings? Do you question his abilities, criticize him in front of strangers? Any man perceives such behavior as humiliation, psychologists say. Someone withdraws, becomes apathetic, and someone will defend themselves with the same weapon - humiliation, only in the form of rude and offensive words. Therefore, always remember what kind of husband you want to have next to you. Smart, strong, successful? Then treat him that way.

Women marry angels, and after a while they can get a demon. Something happens, and after a while many spouses complain that the husband has become aggressive and irritable. How does such a transformation occur, where and, most importantly, why does an aggressive spouse arise in the family, and is it possible to do something about it so as not to be an eternal victim?

An eternally dissatisfied and angry partner has become a common phenomenon in our country. This condition often causes physical or mental harm. There are people who are able to withstand such outbursts of emotions, and there are those for whom this will be critical. But if a reason appears that makes the partner such, it is quite possible that there is a factor that will return the usual psychological state. First of all, it is worth understanding the reasons for what is happening in order to be able to configure something.

Aggression is quite typical for male behavior.

It allows you to gain social status in society - leader, leader. Achieve goals, win the favor of ladies. Run a business successfully and compete with rivals in any field.

So, as we see, in certain doses this condition is even useful, being the core of a man’s character. So where does an angry and nervous man come from, whose critical excesses interfere with life?

So, why did the husband become irritable, what are the main reasons?

Major constant troubles at work. In addition, under stressful conditions, the brain does not have time to move from one mode, work, to another, family relationships, so a transfer of behavior patterns occurs. A man proves his case to the director by standing in front of his wife. Physical exhaustion, lack of sleep, overwork are also reasons for irritability, both with yourself, and from there - with those around you.
Psychological traumas of childhood. They can become aggravated in certain situations, they can go into the subconscious and remain there for years. It is worth understanding the reasons for their manifestations at certain moments. You cannot do without a specialist in such matters in order to get rid of internal complexes once and for all.
Application of a model of behavior in the family adopted from parents. If the father and mother were constantly at knifepoint, creating scenes with a showdown, against the backdrop of screaming and scandals, the child takes this as the norm and builds his family relationships in a similar way. This is usually noticeable at the very beginning of a relationship.
Abuse of alcohol, drugs and other drugs. The psyche is disturbed, a person is no longer able to adequately assess the environment and his behavior, periodically loses control over himself and does not notice it, becomes angry, dissatisfied with everything around him and irritable.
Male irritability syndrome (MIS) is a recently emerging diagnosis in medical practice. It is characteristic of that period of a man’s condition, a kind of menopause, when the body produces less testosterone, the male hormone. This leads to the husband becoming irritable and aggressive, nervous and tired. So this behavior is not always a consequence of external factors, but is sometimes due to physiological reasons.

Manifestation methods

Aggression is sometimes a peculiar way of male self-affirmation. This behavior often occurs in cases where a person experiences a lack of love, attention, or warmth. In this way, he begins to fight for them, to prove that he is worthy of attention.

Jealous husbands aggressively express their rights over women. For many women, such emotions are mistaken for outbursts of passion, according to the principle “hitting means loving.”

It also happens that aggressiveness becomes a way of communication.

Aggressive behavior of a person is a manifestation of his internal properties, such as:

weakness;
lack of self-confidence and strength;
inner anger;
various psychological complexes. It’s easier for women to cope with them, because it’s easier to admit their inadequacy. Men are less flexible;
various fears, especially not being realized, wealthy (in any matter), achieving something.

Often the husband is very hot-tempered and aggressive because this is a response to a ban, restriction of rights, infringement of dignity. A way to get what you want if it turns out to be impossible otherwise. When such behavior receives the approval of a partner, it is clearly established as not only normal and producing results, but also placing the spouse on a higher level, allowing him to dominate in the conflict. However, aggression has a property - it is like fire, it attacks everything around without choosing an object. Therefore, in the next conflict, the place of the neighbor or conductor will be the wife who recently admired her husband, who solved the issue with his fists.

Forms of aggression

Despite all the variety of forms of this emotion, aggression can be:

verbal
physical.

It would seem that nothing compares to a physical blow. But a well-placed word sometimes hurts just as much. Offensive nicknames, uncontrolled statements, rude attacks, threats, comparisons - all this causes deep psychological trauma, especially if it happens often. Even if the words are not fair and everyone knows about it, they hurt very painfully, and even an apology subsequently does not smooth out the scratched relationship.

Physical violence is very common in many families, no matter how many times a hot-tempered and irritable husband hurts his wife, time passes and she forgets everything. Either in an effort to save the family, or in a hopeless belief that everything will change in some wonderful way, or out of great love.

An aggressive man - what is he like?

Almost all aggressive individuals have similar character traits. Which ones exactly?

They often consider others to be their enemies. To protect yourself from a potential blow, strike it first.
They have low self-esteem. Aggression in this case is perceived as the very way to assert oneself, to prove one’s strength to oneself and one’s opponent.
They look for the culprit of their mistakes from the outside. Instead of analyzing your own behavior, the easiest way is to identify those around you who are responsible for the failure and attack him with reproaches. Your weaknesses require justification, which is only possible with an external culprit. Such people do not like to take responsibility.
They allow themselves outbursts of anger, easily and quickly ignite, allowing themselves to be nervous, and sometimes enjoying this state.
They do not compromise and are extremely self-centered.

What to do in cases of male aggression

If your husband is aggressive, what should you do first? It is very difficult to restrain your emotions and not succumb to mutual aggression or violent tears, depending on the woman’s temperament. This is possible in conditions of composure and a rational approach.

First of all, you should not enter into conflict. A woman should avoid this in every possible way: go shopping, even if she doesn’t need anything, go for a walk, trying in every possible way to disappear from sight and stop being an annoying factor. When an aggressive husband is alone with his emotions, due to the lack of a punching bag, he will calm down.

Helping a man get rid of attacks of anger and irritability is possible only with his consent and willingness. No doctor will heal a sick person who does not want to be healed.

How to behave if your husband has become aggressive and irritable, how to properly resolve conflicts? Recommendations from a psychologist in the field of family relationships will help.

Gently remind your partner of his shortcomings if you feel that attacks and accusations against you are groundless. Offer to improve and develop together - a joint business always unites.
Try to find the cause of your man’s outbursts and discontent, and figure out whether you are contributing to the process of forming negative emotions.
Don’t let anger, uncertainty, or irritability take you out. Do not take accusations at face value, do not humiliate yourself by adapting to all your partner’s claims and fantasies.
Do not put pressure on a man, forcing him to act against his will, obeying your desires and demands. Allow your partner to strive and achieve something of their own, even if you yourself do not see the value and importance of it. The spouse also has his own desires and goals, do not deprive them. The best way to persuade is negotiation; use dialogue to resolve conflicts.
Don’t hide your grievances, tell your partner about them, build feedback. Sometimes things happen that happen only because the man has no idea that you are not into it.
Strengthen your own self-esteem.
Remember your dignity in difficult moments. Sometimes it’s worth pretending that nothing is happening in order to devalue emotions.
Manage yourself, this extends to those around you. Self-control often solves problems more than shouting and strong emotions. At the same time, it is also necessary to let off steam, but there are a lot of them in more painless ways (physical activity, hitting a pillow, playing sports, etc.). And then the question of why the husband became like this will disappear
If this is a manifestation of MIS - male irritability syndrome, then a man needs female warmth and care more than ever. At this time, attentive attention from loved ones will help you get through a difficult period. Otherwise, the husband will forever be in this state.

Conclusion

Wives married to abusive men know it, but often don't want to admit it. This kind of partner behavior is usually kept secret, especially when it happens and others are not around. If this problem really bothers you, don’t let things take their course. If both partners want, a solution can always be found.